


The Lost and The Caged

by 3DMG Shenanigans (Lightningpelt)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Emotionally Compromised, Gen, Mind Games, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Starvation, Strategy & Tactics, Titan Eren Yeager, alternate continuum, collapse of society, fall of maria, idk i just started looking through tags...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-07 21:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 137,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1124385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightningpelt/pseuds/3DMG%20Shenanigans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiganshina, a district abandoned by the monarchy after the Fall of Maria, was expected to fade and decay, along with all it's people. But three children refused to die- even if survival costs their humanity. Eren Jaeger finds himself struggling for sanity in the face of his mother's death; Mikasa Ackerman simply wants to hold her tattered family together. </p><p>And Armin Arlert's plans may mean the salvation, or demise, of all mankind. </p><p>Alternate Continuum/ AU- Canon Divergence</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fall of Eren Jaeger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Fill for a prompt on the SnK kink meme] http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/3666.html?thread=6103890#cmt6103890
> 
> I had way too much fun writing this one. I still am having quite a bit of fun with it, actually. ^^ I'm toying with making it far longer than the originally-planned four chapters.  
> A couple of things to note: the Shifter village is located somewhere in the North, where the attack takes place. I also tweaked the Survey Corps' timeline a bit, but nothing's written in stone about that, so I'll refrain from letting you in on those little secrets for now. 
> 
> **_WARNING: This fanfic may or may not contain anything that appears in SnK canon, such as extreme violence and gore, character death, inferred as well as graphic cannibalism, vomit, suicide mentions, torture, anxiety and/or panic attacks, emotional trauma, etc., etc., etc. Consider this your general warning. _** (I am sorry ~~not sorry~~ , but I pull no punches...) 
> 
> With that said, I hope you enjoy the ride~ I had a lot of fun exploring the characters, especially Eren. And Armin. ... Mikasa didn't change a hell of a lot. :P 
> 
> Pssst... follow my SnK tumblr for updates regarding fanfics, new projects, and to see if my requests are currently open~ http://3dmgshenanigans.tumblr.com/

For a long time, things went on as normal- I suppose we were blessed, in that regard.

However, civilization dissolved quickly enough once we realized what was going on.

... ... ...

  
_Days Since the End of the World_

Armin kept a tally on the wall of his room- we’d all forget, if he didn’t.

Technically, I suppose the “world ended” several weeks before any of us were even aware of it. Wall Maria was breached at its Northernmost point, and it took that long for any of us in Shiganshina to find out. We had thought it was strange, of course, that the weekly batch of food from the fields had failed to show up, but that happened from time to time- it was nothing to get alarmed about.

Then, the rumors had begun.

A pair of Garrison soldiers had rushed into town around dawn, shrieking about seeing titans on the wrong side of the wall. The vast majority of the population had laughed it off- the Garrison were well-known drunkards, and titans on the wrong side of Wall Maria were unthinkable. Only Hannes had really taken them seriously; I had, of course, but I was only a 12 year old child, and my opinion made little difference. Armin had as well, I discovered later, and had already begun to plan for the inevitable.

Then the alleged sightings got more frequent. At first everyone had thought they were jokes- copycats, mocking those first two, drunken guards. But as the days began to slip by, no one wanted to venture outside our own little Walls- not even to see what was holding up the food delivery. Armin began to take action around that time, already stacking the cards in our favor; he began to stockpile food, and convinced us to do the same. We stashed it everywhere- his basement, his attic, our attic, our rooms… everywhere except for my basement.

Dad had promised to show me what was in the basement, when he returned from his trip to Wall Rose. But I was becoming more and more certain that Dad wasn’t coming back; Mom, as well, was frantic, and it was getting harder to convince her to let Mikasa and I out of her sight.

And then, one day, Hannes came barging into our house. It was early dawn; the sun had only just begun to stain the sky pink, and it was a fluke that I was even awake. But I _was_ awake; Armin had come over for some reason I can't remember just now, and so all three of us were in the living room when Hannes nearly broke our door down amid the surreal dawn light.

"The titans...!" he gasped. "It's true! Wall Maria has fallen!"

Within a day, the whole of Shiganshina was in an uproar. Mom was numb; she simply sat, staring into the distance, occasionally murmuring my father's name. Again it was Armin who gave us something constructive to do. I was full of energy, ready to fight back, but I didn't know how; my friend, however, seemed to know the right thing to do, just like he always did.

"It's only a matter of time," he said, "days, probably, before society starts to collapse. Then it'll be every family for itself. We have to be prepared for that."

That was also the day that he started his tally.

Mikasa was hit harder than the two of us, I think; we, on some level- or at least I -enjoyed the adventure that had been presented to us. She, however, was losing her home all over again. We set up a camp in Armin's basement- gathering most of the food we had already collected, basic supplies like candles and blankets, etc.

We convinced my mom to move in with Armin and his grandfather, at least temporarily. "There'll be attacks," Armin had informed us shakily, "and lootings. We should all try to stay in one spot so that we can help each other. Humans are pack animals at their core- when society starts to crumble, that's what they'll revert to."

"Don't worry!" I had exclaimed, slapping Armin on the back and looping my arm around Mikasa's shoulders. "I'll protect you guys! I'll protect us all!!"

I didn't take care of them alone- I wasn't ready for that, as much as I would've liked to think as much. Hannes stopped by our house once or twice a day; looked after us all. The Garrison was in total disarray, half its members deserting within the first few days. That left Hannes the most senior officer, and he tried to maintain control of the remaining troops. But by then the food was beginning to run out; people were hoarding it, like Armin had made sure we were already doing- he's the reason any of us survived at all.

People did indeed start to form packs, as Armin had predicted; his wall contained 17 etch-marks the day that Hannes rushed into our house, slamming the door behind him. Bullets shattered the wood in several places behind him, and Mom and Armin both screamed. Slumping to the ground, the head of the Garrison informed us that many of the early deserters had banded together; that they were attempting to take over the city. Even most of the Garrison who had remained loyal lacked the motivation to fight it; mad men with guns were the last thing the district needed.

"I'll fight them!" I cried. "Hannes, give me your gun! I'll fight them!"

"You will _not_ ," Mikasa said, grabbing a handful of my hair and drawing a yelp of pain from me. "Listen to what you're saying, Eren- you can't fight something like that."

"Mikasa's right, Eren," Hannes said sternly. "Leave this to the adults. We won't abandon you youngsters- we'll keep this town safe, even now, I promise."

"But I want to help!" I wailed, like the child I was. "Hannes, let me help!"

"You _can_ help," he told me gently, kneeling in front of me, "by looking after your mother, Mikasa, and Armin. And by getting stronger, because one day I'll be grateful to have you by my side."

There were twenty two marks on Armin's wall the day that Hannes' body was strung up in the center of the city.

Even more terrifying was the simple fact was that it wasn't the deserters who had done it- it was the townspeople. They were hungry and frightened, and they thought that Hannes- who had taken on a position of responsibility from the beginning -had let them down. After his death, no one tried to stop the quick decent into chaos; no one tried to take control. I might have, had Armin and Mother and Mikasa not begged me not to. I hated my own weakness, but clung to the words that Hannes had left me with.

_"Look after them. And get stronger."_

True to Armin's predictions, all pretenses of an organized society were gone within a month.

... ... ...

  
_Days Since the End of the World  
52 _

My stomach was throbbing with pain- I hadn't eaten in days, and I hadn't eaten _well_ in weeks. But I was used to the pain, by now, and I had priorities other than food.

Recon.

We called them the Deserters, as was their rightful title. They were one of the strongest gangs around, although there were others. They occupied a large territory bordering ours to the North and the West; it was a constant concern that they would try to take our base- which happened to he Armin's house. It wouldn't even be up for discussion if they knew about the food we still had stockpiled in the basement; we would all be long dead if they knew.

Our small "gang," although I really hated to think of us that way, consisted of my mother, Mikasa, Armin, his grandfather, and myself. Mikasa and I mostly went out on patrols like this, although sometimes Armin joined us; Armin's grandfather watched over the house. My mother had been in a useless state of shock for the past several weeks, ever since Hannes' death. We had established a territory that extended four houses in each direction from Armin's; that included my old house, and bordered on the canal- a valuable source of semi-clean water. It was hard to maintain; the Deserters bordered us on two sides, and a group that consisted mainly of older children (they called themselves the Street Rats) were on our third. The canal, however, made our fourth border easy to defend. 

I peered across the rooftops; a boy named Jones was keeping watch directly across the street, and our eyes met. Jones was about my age, but far more experienced with street life, enough so that the Street Rats saw him as an asset. I stuck out my tongue at him, and he glowered back.

The Street Rats wanted Mikasa and I to join- very much, actually, so much so that they had agreed to accept Armin as well. It made sense, considering most of their members had been beaten senseless by the two of us at least once- usually in defense of said Armin. But I could never even think of leaving Mom; neither could Mikasa, and Armin was similarly devoted to his grandfather. So their offers went unheeded, and they kept testing our borders.

I licked my dry lips; Jones hadn't moved an inch, and neither would I. I examined him- emaciated, dirty, and hollow-eyed, he seemed worse off than any of us. If it wasn't for Armin's foresight, we'd certainly have starved already; as it was, we were managing to eek our a living, at least as of yet.

Jones was the first one to rise. But instead of turning and retreating, he leaped down into the street that lay between our two territories. He didn't advance, simply waited; watched me expectantly. Within a couple of minutes, I couldn't resist; I wanted to see what he had to say. So I jumped down as well, walking out into the street with all the confidence I could muster.

"Where's Mikasa?" was the first thing he asked.

"On the Deserters' border," I answered truthfully. "I can deal with the likes of you."

The boy smirked; looked down. "We've offered all three of you a chance to join us," he said. "Why are you resisting? When it comes down to us kids, the greatest numbers have the best chance of survival. We aren't armed like the adults are. It's only a matter of time before your little family is going to be wiped out, and then the Deserters will turn to us. If all of us kids band together, we might have a fighting chance."

I scoffed. "You expect me to abandon my mom?"

"I abandoned mine!" he retorted. "And she wanted me to! She knew that I would die if I kept trying to defend her; yours must know the same!"

"I'm not weak like you!" I screamed, rage bubbling up in me at the mere thought of someone abandoning their mother. "I'll protect her even if it does cost my life! I'm not afraid to die!"

Jones sighed; kicked a stone on the road. "We're going to have to take you out ourselves, then," he said, somewhat regretfully. "Consider this a gentleman's warning: if we want to survive, we need to beat the Deserters to your territory. And we want to survive."

"Fine," I growled. "You just try."

Wordlessly, Jones turned; was gone, vanishing up a drainpipe and bounding over rooftops. With a sigh, I did the same, retreating back into the heart of our territory; there was little more I could do to secure such an invisible border anyway. I glanced briefly around the street as I did so; a fleeting fancy to check some of the houses over again made me pause, but I knew we had already scavenged most of what was useful. My stomach growled furiously at me, but I strove to ignore it; hunger was a fact of life, and a weakness I couldn't give in to.

Gunshots rang out suddenly, far too near for comfort, and I looked up sharply; if there was one thing that Jones was right about, it was that we children weren't armed like some of the adults. In some ways, death by gun seemed preferable to the more animalistic ways people had resorted to, but I would prefer to avoid the question of how I was to die altogether. Ignoring the commotion that had sprung up several blocks away, I made for home; random violence wasn't something I could afford to become entangled in. 

"Eren!"

I skidded to a halt, looking over at the small shape approaching quickly from my right. "Mikasa!" I called, surprised. "What's wrong?"

"You were late coming back," my adopted sister said, her face wan with concern as she grabbed for my hand. "I was worried something might have happened."

"Not really," I replied evasively, scratching the back of my neck with my free hand. As she continued to stare at me with those piercing eyes of hers, I finally admitted, "I just ran into Jones. He wanted to give us fair warning that the Street Rats are going to try to run us out."

"I'll kill them if they try," the girl growled instantly, and I hurried to calm her.

"We just need to keep them out, Mikasa, and we will! We don't need to fight them!"

"..." The girl didn't reply, but instead she tightened her grip on my hand. "Armin wants to talk to all of us about something. We should hurry back."

Nodding reluctantly, I jerked my hand away before following her across the remaining rooftops. "I'm not your kid brother," I muttered, but she didn't reply to that, either.

The two of us slipped into the attic window; we had barricaded the doors to make our base easier to defend if, worst case scenario, we found ourselves trapped inside. The whole house was arranged with that basic idea in mind- Mom and Armin's grandfather had their room on the first floor, while Mikasa, Armin and I slept on the second. The attic was mostly empty aside from a few traps designed to warn us of intruders, and our supplies were all stored in the basement.

We found everyone gathered in the living room, with Armin leaning against the front wall. My blonde friend looked pale and thin, thinner and more tired than either Mikasa or I. We knew that he hadn't been eating even the meager amount that we did; he said that he didn't need it, considering how often he went out patrolling or scavenging compared to us. We tried to convince him otherwise, but there was little we could do short of force-feeding him, which Mikasa had actually resorted to several times.

"What's up, bro?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful as I ruffled his hair and came away with a handful of the brittle strands. "Why the family meeting?"

"To discuss the future," Armin replied seriously, and then waited until all of us were seated. It was his habit to pace when he addressed us all at once, but he seemed to lack the energy required to push away from the wall.

"Oh?" his grandfather asked encouragingly, and Armin shot him a grateful glance.

"Shiganshina was never meant to he a farming district," he began steadily. "That's why food is running out so quickly. So far, the strongest groups have been getting by by scavenging and looting, but there's going to be an end to that- an end where _everyone_ , regardless of strength or territory, starves."

I shivered.

"I'm assuming you're telling us this because you've thought of a solution?" Mikasa asked calmly, and the worn boy brightened slightly.

"Yes, I think so," he replied, eager and unsteady. "What we have to do is get some sort of farming program started- and for now, we should keep it to ourselves."

"Where?" I asked curiously. "There aren't any fields inside the Walls."

"The floorboards on some of the older houses, like the ones in this neighborhood, should be easy to pull up," he explained. "We can use the houses nearest to us so they're easy to protect, and open holes in the roof to let sun and rain in."

"Shall we start with two houses' worth?" Armin's grandfather asked, and the blonde boy nodded eagerly.

"I would think so. We can't overextend ourselves right now; it's hard enough to defend what little territory we have."

Mikasa glanced at me; we reached a silent consensus, by eye-contact, to keep Jones' threat to ourselves. Armin had enough to worry about; enough weight rested on his frail shoulders. We could deal with the Street Rats on our own if it came to a head.

"We also need to secure a horse or two, as soon as possible," the blonde continued, oblivious. "People still see their value as beasts of burden, but soon they'll all be killed for meat."

"What use would we have for horses?" I asked, confused; Armin cleared his throat nervously.

"If we want to survive long term- and I mean really long term, as in years down the road -we'll need to venture outside the Walls once or twice, at least. Horses are the only safe way to do that. But once they're gone inside the Walls, that's that- we're truly trapped."

My jaw dropped. "Outside the Walls? Armin, you're crazy!"

My blonde friend, despite his crippling weakness, glared back at me. "Am I, Eren? Think it through; in a year or so, easily half the population will be dead (more than that, if you take into account the percentage already dead). There are necessary resources that are only available Outside- livestock is one of my specific concerns, seeing as what little was kept in Shiganshina itself has already been slaughtered. If we want to survive, we need to let this city die around us, and then resurrect it as a completely self-sufficient entity; to do that, we need access to the farms outside the Walls."

"That's crazy!" I repeated. "'Let the city die around us?!' Armin, do you have any idea how many lives you're just... writing off?!"

"Regrettably, I do," the small boy replied, his voice quavering. "But I also know that sacrifice is necessary for change to occur- and change is going to occur whether we want it or not."

"Armin is just trying ensure our survival," Mikasa told me gently, laying a hand on my shoulder. "And I think his approach is the right one."

"Crazy...!" I grumbled once more, but then asked reluctantly, "Alright, so a horse or two. Where do you suggest we get these horses? They're valuable- they _were_ insanely valuable, even before the Fall."

Armin shifted nervously. "The Deserters have amassed a small herd; they would be the easiest target."

"'Easiest... target?'" I repeated in shock. "Armin, are you even hearing yourself?!"

"We have to survive!" my blonde friend insisted. "We have to... and to survive, we have to take risks and make sacrifices!"

"... The Street Rats have a pair of horses," Mikasa said softly, startling us all. "I don't know how they managed it, but they have at least two. If we took their territory..."

"Don't sink to their level, Mikasa!" I snapped, beginning to panic slightly.

"Such is the world we now live in, Eren," the girl replied sternly. "I will not let us die for your ideals. I choose to trust Armin's theories; they've never let us down."

"B-But..." I tried again, although I knew I was on the losing side of the argument, "wouldn't it be better to try to get the whole district in on it? Those who've survived, I mean?"

"Hannes tried to unite this district," Mom whispered, and then curled up tighter in her chair. "Look what happened to him."

"So it's decided," Mikasa said, and I glanced at her with sick imploring. "We'll launch an attack on the Street Rats tomorrow; we'll take their horses, and all the supplies we can get our hands on. If we gain some of their land in the bargain, all the better." Then she looked straight at me, her eyes piercing and cold. "You and I must bear the brunt of the work, Eren; we can't afford to have you second-guessing it."

I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Then, I looked down. I knew it was necessary; I knew it was the only chance, long shot through it was, that we had at survival. I looked at Armin, so heartrendingly frail and yet stronger than me, in his willingness to do what it took; I looked at my mother, depending upon me.

_"Grow stronger."_

_This wasn't what I had hoped to use my strength for, Hannes._

"Alright. I'll do it."

... ... ...

Armin brought up food from the basement that night; we all left the allocation of resources entirely up to him, even if it meant we didn't eat every day. That night he brought up a full meal for both of us, as well as a typical set of rations for Mom and his Grandfather. I had mixed feelings about eating what was, in those days, such a lot of food, but Mikasa saw the sense.

"We won't be able to afford weakness tomorrow," she said, and then shoved a piece of bread into my mouth. "Eat and gather your strength."

Armin didn't eat; he hadn't in god knew how many days. After I had finished, my stomach aching with the food, I caught him chewing on the bone I had left on my plate; it wasn't the first time I had seen him eating- or trying to eat -something that shouldn't have been fit for consumption. It was pathetic how much he thought he was worth, compared to us, when it was actually him that had kept us alive all this time.

I lay down beside Mikasa with mixed feelings; part of me knew that I should sleep, but my mind wouldn't shut up. I cuddled into my sister, pressing my back into her stomach; when Armin joined us, after a few hours of planning and preparation for the next day's attack, I pulled his emaciated body to me until his face was buried in my chest. We lay like that, huddled together on the thin mattress; soon both of my companions had fallen asleep, but I remained wide awake, staring into Armin's straw-like hair and remembering when it had been soft and golden.

 _No matter what I have to do, I'll protect you both..._ I vowed silently, tightening my grip slightly on his small body. _... No matter who I have to kill._

But even in that instant, I doubted myself- I doubted my strength, if not my resolve.

A whisper of sound caught my ear suddenly, and I stiffened beneath the blanket. Armin stirred, but didn't wake; Mikasa was still behind me. I lifted my head slowly, careful not to wake either of my companions; after a moment, however, that proved pointless.

"What?" Mikasa whispered, and I shrugged.

"I heard a noise from downstairs. I don't think it's anything to be worried about."

"Never assume," the girl replied, rising fluidly and picking up the knife she always slept with. I got up as well, tucking the blankets tighter around Armin as I did so.

"You think...?"

"I don't think anything," she informed me. "But there's simply no way to know, and we can't be too careful. Stay close to me, if you insist upon coming."

I did just that as she led the way down the stairs; we were halfway down when we heard the whispered voices, and it became horrifyingly clear that this was no false alarm.

"... no guard." That was the voice of Vincent- a Street Rat, and several years older than us. "How stupid can they be?"

"They're only kids," Jones' voice objected, "and there are only three of them."

"Guys, I found the adults' room!" called a third boy, Gustav, and I felt every muscle in my body stiffen. Mikasa edged forward, a firm hand on my shoulder to keep me from rushing past her.

There was the soft tramp of feet, then; this invasion was clearly more than just the three boys we had been able to identify by voice. Mikasa ghosted along the hall with me on her heals; we reached the kitchen just in time to see a shape vanish down the hallway, toward Mom's room.

I felt a sudden jolt of panic stop my heart; ignoring Mikasa's cry of protest, I shot forward, willing myself to be in time. I skidded into the room just as the lights flashed on; momentarily blinded, I back peddled; slipped; crashed to the ground with a soft splash.

_Splash._

My whole being trembling, I looked down; stared in open-mouthed horror at the sticky red puddle I had landed in, flowing out from farther inside the room. Tears were spilling down my face as I looked up slowly; saw the Street Rats, frozen in surprise; saw the body of Armin's grandfather, sprawled limp on the ground; saw my mother.

"Mom!!"

"Eren!" she shrieked, kicking out against the pair of children who held her. "Take Mikasa and run! Get out of here!!"

Face twisting with rage, I charged forward with a roar; apparently overcoming their surprise, two of the older children came to intercept me; each grabbed one of my shoulders, holding me up off the ground as I screamed and flailed. I could see Vincent, blade poised over my mother's throat; Jones, wide eyes locked on me in something like pity; Mom, screaming at me to run.

Then, the boy on my left went limp; the one on my right faltered, suddenly supporting my whole weight, and my feet found the ground once again. As Mikasa pulled her blade from the fallen boy's side, I turned and punched the remaining one; heard a satisfying _crack_ as blood spewed out from his nose, and he fell back. Without thinking, I flung myself toward Vincent; toward Mom.

The knife came down; her blood splattered across my face. Her screams ended in a sick gurgling; her body went limp.

And my vision went red.

"Pity about that, but it had to be done," Vincent said, but his voice was distorted in my ears. "Now, Eren, Mikasa, I hope you two will reconsider-"

He didn't get any farther; surging forward in a sudden and violent motion, I grabbed his wrist; twisted the blade in his hand so that it was buried up to the hilt in his own stomach. Mikasa screamed my name, but I had gone deaf; the Street Rats all took a collective step back as their leader fell, dead at my feet, his knife remaining in my hand.

"I'll... kill you...!" I gasped out, feeling my whole body shudder with the force of my conviction; my gaze kept flickering to my mother's dead eyes, her face twisted with her dying screams, and then back up to her killers. "I'll kill you... I'll kill you all!!"

And that was the last thing I remembered until I woke with the dawn, sobbing in Mikasa's arms, the bodies of a dozen or so boys scattered around me and their blood soaking me through to the very bone.


	2. The Death of a Mad Scientist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maria, Rose and Sina this is probably the longest single chapter I've ever posted anywhere for any fic. But the facts that a) I want each chapter from a different perspective and b) I want a decent time gap between chapters throws a wrench in how I would normally divide the chapters. Therefore... I hope no one minds. I really enjoyed writing this one, although I'm admittedly nervous about the final product. 
> 
> What happens to Grisha Jaeger in this chapter is actually quite close to my theory as to what happened to him in canon. Just so you know. I'm curious as to whether anyone else thinks so...
> 
>  
> 
> Pssst... follow my SnK tumblr for updates regarding fanfics, new projects, and to see if my requests are currently open~ http://3dmgshenanigans.tumblr.com/

"One hundred... and eighty six," I whispered, running my hands along the tallies. "Has it really been half a year...?" I knew that my count was correct, but it seemed impossible. Perhaps I was already dead, and my ghost was just so attached to this wall that I hadn't even realized it. I had gone into cardiac arrest twice already- what if, one of those times, Eren or Mikasa hadn't gotten to me in time?

"Armin." Mikasa's voice was gentle, and I turned at the sound of my name. My friend stood in the doorway, hunched so that half her face was hidden by her scarf. She had cut her hair in a lopsided bob a week or two back, annoyed at how it got in the way, and I still hadn't gotten used to how it looked. "I'm going out on patrol; you should come."

I shook my head, the motion making me slightly dizzy. "I'll stay and watch over the house."

"That's nonsense," she said, firmly but not unkindly. "When was the last time you were outside? I'm sure things have changed since then."

With a reluctant smile, I nodded and rose. "Alright... just for a while, though," I added. "I'm trying to work out the problem of a sustainable population equation. I need to figure it out."

"Of course," Mikasa said, although I knew she didn't have the first clue as to what I was talking about. I was at a loss as to why she and Eren trusted me so unconditionally, when they couldn't even grasp most of what I was puzzling over; half the time, I was certain that _I_ didn't entirely grasp what I was puzzling over. But they still followed what I said to do to the letter, and we had managed to survive as of yet.

Mikasa led me out the attic window; the front door was barricaded, and it was easier to travel above street-level anyway. Territories were largely a thing of the past, although we still maintained a loosely defined one; there were now huge patches of land popping up where the survivors were trying to start farming.

We had already begun to farm, months before it became a popular thing to do. People didn't know about our little farms, of course; we were still children, some of the only easy targets left, and did everything we could to stay off the radar of the larger packs. Two such packs had survived, along with a smattering of rogues like us. It was fairly obvious that one would, eventually, kill off the other; I was of the opinion, however, that it would be the little groups of three of four people, like ours, that would be the ones to outlast everyone else.

Now it was purely a waiting game; whoever was left would have the opportunity to rebuild Shiganshina around them. And I was devoted to making sure that those survivors would be us.

Well over half of the original population of Shiganshina had perished; of the original 2,000-some people, a mere 700 or so remained. Most had starved, although many had been victims of violence, and I predicted that the second wave of the die-off was about to begin. People had begun to farm, but not quickly enough; there simply wasn't any more food to be had.

Our stores had run out a week or so back, but some of our crops were already mature; potatoes and carrots were hardly a balanced diet, but they kept us from starving. I had stopped feeling hunger a long while ago; it was no longer a matter of willpower for me to keep from eating, to save what little we had for Eren and Mikasa. It had been a battle at the beginning, but now I was able to simply forget that my body required food. I was a bit concerned about the repercussions of that, but it was a useful adaptation; hunger had only served to distract me from planning.

Eren was another matter, however; I had caught him staring at the two horses that lived in our living room more than once, but as of yet he hadn't given in and killed one. Those animals were probably the only ones left in the district, other than a population of wily feral cats that refused to be made into stew; if they were discovered, my long term plans would crumble, and what fragile hope I nursed for a future would be lost.

I followed Mikasa over the rooftops, relishing the fresh air and the chill wind on my face. We traveled out from my house in lazy spirals until we hit the Wall; Mikasa reached out, offering her arms, and I went to her, letting her carry me as she zipped up to the top with the use of the Maneuver Gear she wore.

A month or so back, Eren had come home grinning from ear to ear and with three sets of 3D Maneuver Gear in tow. He had taken them off the bodies of Garrison members; the blades had already been stolen, most likely by their killers, but the Gear itself had been deemed useless. Eren had excitedly suggested that we learn to use it, and Mikasa and I had agreed. Of the three of us, she had been the quickest to catch on by far; neither Eren nor I were yet good enough to risk using it in public, but Mikasa frequently wore hers out on patrol- used it apparently, I now discovered, to get atop the Walls.

"Completely surrounded," my friend murmured, gazing down at the hideous giants pawing at the Wall just below us. I shivered, inching closer to her as I watched them.

"Should we be up here, Mikasa?" I asked worriedly, and she shrugged.

"No one else ever comes up here; I usually do a complete circle around the district once a day."

I stayed close as she began to walk, unable to stop from staring out at the titan-infested land inside Wall Maria. I could see the remnants of farms, herds of cattle and fields scattered here and there. The mere thought of such things made my whole body ache with desire, and I knew that my plan would work, if we could only hold on for that long. Mikasa kept her eyes on the interior of the Walls as she patrolled, her priorities far more immediate than mine. I turned, as well; saw my crumbling home from a bird's eye view.

"We're lucky that an epidemic didn't break out," I commented, "with all the bodies."

"I suppose cannibalism does have some merits, cleaning up of the dead being one of them," Mikasa replied, and I winced. Quite a few people had turned to such measures; many had gone mad, before they began or as a result of eating their kin. I had caught Eren doing it once or twice, but hadn't stopped him; I was certain Mikasa knew about his habit of taking a bite or two out of the people he killed, but she, like me, let it slide for the time being. Disturbing through it was, we had bigger concerns- specifically about Eren, in some cases.

My friend seemed stable most days, but his anger- fueled by bitterness over his mother's death -was getting more and more unmanageable. It made sense; there was little to do all day except stew silently, since the three of us spent the majority of our time alone. But I was getting extremely worried about him. In addition to the mildly cannibalistic behavior he was expressing (which, sadly, wasn't unusual enough in those days to cause alarm in and of itself), he had begun to actively look for excuses and opportunities to kill. 

It was as if he blamed all of mankind, save for Mikasa and I, for the death of his mother. He would often mutter about "killing _them_ all" or "wiping _them_ out" or "cleansing the district of the filth." His dreams, too, were riddled with bloody visions, and he would sometimes grin and murmur things like, "Kill... more... kill _more_...!" and chuckle softly in his sleep. I was concerned for his sanity, if not for his very humanity.

"Armin!"

Mikasa's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I glanced over at her. Her eyes were wide, and I followed her gaze with some amount of apprehension. When I spotted what had drawn her attention, my mouth dropped open.

"Impossible...!"

A horse- and a horse _man_ \- was galloping wildly towards us. There were two titans lumbering after him, terrifying in their lurching movements and slathering mouths. Mikasa instantly began to run and I, after a moment of shock, followed.

"Oi!!" my friend wailed at the top of her lungs; the horseman looked up, raising his hand in acknowledgment. I wheezed as I fought to keep up, my muscles feeling weak; when had Mikasa's legs grown so long and powerful?

Before I could react, my friend had taken a wild dive off the wrong side of the Wall; I gave a strangled cry of alarm, but then watched breathlessly as she shot out a cable and _flew_ parallel the Wall. Keeping up with her was even more hopeless than it had been, but it was stunning to watch her sail through the air with all the graceful ease of a bird. The horseman was watching her, too; he lifted his hand as she dipped closer and closer, managing to get his feet under him on the saddle. As I myself closed the distance, much to the agony of my burning lungs and straining legs, I began to make out the mysterious horseman's face. The shock hit me all over again as I identified him; I couldn't, in fact, bring myself to believe it. It must be a trick, I thought, of my oxygen-starved brain and exhausted eyes.

Mikasa yelled something, inaudible at my distance, but the man responded to it. I couldn't bite back a strained wail of fear as my friend sailed closer and closer to the approaching titans; within inches of their snapping maws, or so my hyperactive imagination claimed. The horseman jumped; a hair's breadth off and he would have hit the ground and been instantly overtaken by the giants.

As it was, he looped one arm around Mikasa's waist and, although he was nearly twice her size, my friend didn't falter in her flight. The panicked horse, riderless, wheeled and twisted, galloping in the opposite direction as Mikasa flew back towards the Wall, horseman in tow. She gained altitude quickly- just quickly enough, as one of the titans took a swipe at them and missed by inches.

The moment my brain registered that she was safe, my heavy feet tangled hopelessly and I fell forward, flat on my face. Panting, groaning with exhaustion and pain, I pushed myself upright in time to see Mikasa pull herself and the horseman over the edge of the Wall. At such close quarters, it was impossible to pass off his identity as a trick of the mind; stumbling forward, I dropped down again beside both of them.

"D-Doctor Jaeger...!" I gasped in shock, and Mikasa crumpled into the man's arms. He held her to him, rubbing her back briskly, and rested his other hand on my shoulder.

"Mikasa, Armin...! You have no idea how relieved I am to find you two alive...!"

"So is Eren!" I told him in a rush, foreseeing the question. "We're all alright, Doctor Jaeger! Well, not alright, per say, but..."

"And Carla?" he asked, cutting off the flow of my words. "What of my wife?"

I stalled; I had forgotten, for a moment, about the poor woman. My face told Eren's father what he wanted to know, and he spared me from actually saying it, looking down.

"My poor Carla... well, perhaps it's for the best..." he murmured. "This world would have been too cruel for her to survive in."

Momentarily shocked by his seemingly heartless reaction, I watched as he rose, pulling Mikasa up with him. My friend, although perfectly silent, hadn't brought her face out of his chest the entire time. Seeing that I hadn't gotten up, he offered his hand; I pushed myself to my feet without his assistance.

"I need to see Eren right away. Would you two take me to him?"

Mikasa looked up for the first time; nodded. "Of course." Then, keeping hold of one of Doctor Jaeger's hands, she led the way to the edge of the Wall; first she lowered Doctor Jaeger with her Maneuver Gear, and then returned for me.

"How did he make it back alive?" I whispered, during the precious moments we had alone. "Mikasa, it's fabulous that he's back, but..."

"Don't question things like that." Her voice left no room for argument. "He's back; that's all that matters."

I still held onto my doubts, though; Doctor Jaeger looked to be in all-too-good condition, and he was terribly calm about his wife's death. And, while it might seem normal that he wanted to see his son right away, he hadn't appeared too emotional or even eager when he had said as much. There were alarm bells going off in every corner of my mind, but it was obvious that Mikasa was in no mood to be receptive. So I kept my thoughts to myself as she led him by the hand through our wasted district, cheerfully taking him straight to the heart of the territory we would have protected with our lives.

If it had been a long time since I had ventured out over the rooftops, it had been even longer since I had walked along the ground. The bones were enough to render me a trembling wreck with fear, and I could feel dozens of eyes on us as we walked. I knew that appearances were everything, though, if we didn't want to get attacked right there in those shadowy alleys, so I forced myself to keep my head up; since Mikasa was preoccupied with Doctor Jaeger, it fell to me to meet each set of hostile eyes, trying and probably failing to give off "just try it, I dare you," vibes.

Once we reached our territory, Mikasa began cheerfully disclosing our most valuable secrets. "We've set up small farms in those houses," she said softly, keeping her head enough to speak quietly, at least, "and that one over there. Armin's house is our base; all our supplies are stored in the basement. We have to enter through the roof, though."

"And our old house?" the older man asked, sounding more concerned than when he had asked after his wife.

"It's well within our territory, too," Mikasa informed him casually. "Our territory extends all the down this street to the Wall, and to the canal on the other side."

"Ah... oh yes, I see, that's good." He seemed disinterested past knowing that his old house was safe; I tucked away his reaction for further examination.

"We can't tell when Eren will be back," I said suddenly, wanting to gauge his reaction. "He's out on patrol, and we have no way to contact him."

"Well, we'll just have to go looking for him if it gets too late, then," Eren's father replied with a smile; I felt my suspicions rise, but forced my eyes to stay wide and innocent.

"It's dangerous to go out after dark," I said earnestly, watching our guest carefully. "It isn't uncommon for Eren to stay out the night, though, if he finds a safe spot."

"Well, we'll just have to go looking for him _before_ dark, then." There was an edge I didn't like in the man's voice- and it wasn't concern for his son.

"Armin!" Mikasa chastised me, and I winced. "What's gotten into you? Of course we'll go find Eren, as soon as we take Doctor Jaeger back to the base! He'll want to know that his father is back!"

I bit back a testy retort; if she was going to be oblivious, I wished she would at least refrain from interfering with my questions. But I stayed silent for the rest of the trip, keeping a careful eye on Doctor Jaeger as we walked. Mikasa took him up to the roof with her 3D Maneuver Gear, more or less leaving me to find my own way up. Both annoyed and concerned, I pulled myself hand-over-hand up the wall, managing to get onto the roof just in time to see them vanish into the attic.

"W-Wait up!" I called, not wanting to be left alone _or_ leave Mikasa alone with that man- whom _I_ in no way trusted. I scrambled inside, catching up with the two of them as they descended into the main house.

"We've set up traps to warn us of intruders," Mikasa was explaining, referring to the traps I had almost fallen pray to, in my haste to catch up. Keeping a mental tally of the secrets that had been disclosed as of yet, I bit my tongue until it bled. "I put some soup on to cook this morning; it's just potatoes and carrots in broth, but if you'd like..."

I couldn't stay silent; against my better sense, I simply couldn't. "We can't afford another mouth to feed!" I objected, sounding more petulant than I had intended. "Mikasa, you know we can't!"

My friend rounded on me and I winced, but Doctor Jaeger put a hand on Mikasa's shoulder before she could strike me- much to my embarrassment, defended by the very man I was suggesting we let starve.

"I didn't come here to undermine your attempts at survival," he said, taking on a soothing tone that offended me at the deepest possible level. "In fact, I'm here to supplement them. You needn't worry about me eating your precious food, Armin, at least not without giving you something in return."

I was suitably convinced he was mocking me; mocking _us_ , in our struggle to survive. And I _still_ didn't trust his motives.

But I fell silent again; Mikasa would blindly take his side, and I didn't have the energy to fight them both. I could only hope, watching moodily as Mikasa showed our guest the rest of the house, that Eren would at least be open to my concerns, whenever he got back.

As luck would have it, my best friend returned earlier than usual; Mikasa had barely finished giving the "Grand Tour of Confidential Information and Our Life Stories" when he came rushing down the stairs. My first reaction was delighted relief, but any greeting I might have called out died in my throat when I saw what he was carrying. Mikasa turned, too, at the sound of his entrance.

"Eren," she began, "look who-!" but stalled suddenly, for the same reason I had.

 _Of all times...!_ I thought with a grimace. _Well, with any luck it'll_ scare _Doctor Jaeger off, although I doubt it..._

Eren was holding- and now trying to hide behind his back -a distinctly human arm; the blood smeared around his mouth made the limb's significance all too clear, as did the somewhat crazed look in my friend's swirling, blue-green eyes. He took a step back, laughing softly and only succeeding in revealing the blood all over his teeth.

"Dad!!" he exclaimed, although paler than parchment. "How is this... I can't believe it!"

I tuned to our guest, intrigued to see how he would react; Mikasa was certainly as white as death itself, and I had a feeling I was, as well. But what really chilled me, more than Eren's suddenly blatant cannibalism, was his father's reaction.

Grisha Jaeger _didn't_ react, not even slightly. He simply came forward, grasped his son's free hand- the one _not_ hiding a disembodied human arm, which he had been engaged in eating a just moment before, behind his back -and pulled him into a short embrace.

"I'm so relieved to find you well, Eren. Now come; time is short."

"Wh-wha...?" Eren stammered, apparently as surprised- if not as suspicious -as I was. "D-Dad, what are you-?"

"There isn't time to explain!" the older man snapped suddenly, grabbing my friend by the wrist and pulling him forward. Mikasa gave a soft shriek of alarm and I, acting on instinct, rushed forward to intervene. I didn't have time to react before Grisha Jaeger's hand struck me in the jaw, knocking me backwards; I was vaguely aware of striking the wall, and then everything went black.

... ... ... 

"Dad, what are you doing?! Dad, stop, please...! Dad, stop...!!"

Eren's shrieks reached me as if through water: blearily; indistinct. I fought for consciousness, managing to force my blurry eyes open after a moment of concerted effort.

"Armin!" Mikasa's hiss was close to my ear, and I started. "Are you awake?"

"... Barely..." I replied, trying to blink the fog from my vision. "I can't... see, though... Eren... what's happening to Eren?" I would still hear his disjointed wailing, although the words were no longer intelligible.

"I don't know," my friend replied. "Doctor Jaeger brought all three of us back to Eren's old house, and then dragged us down into the basement. And you wouldn't be able to see anything, anyway; he took Eren into a closet and shut the door."

 _The... basement...?_ Managing to twist my painfully stiff neck, I blinked until I could make out the girl sitting beside me; her legs were folded under her, hands and feet bound with thick rope. My limbs, I realized, were restrained as well, and I pulled futilely at them for a moment.

"It's no use," Mikasa informed me. I could see the marks of struggle all over her body- torn clothes and skin, tangled hair, and wicked rope burns around her ankles and wrists. "Although now that you're awake..."

Nodding, I wriggled forward and sunk my teeth into the rope around her wrists; I missed, nicking her skin and tasting blood, but she didn't flinch. The sounds of Eren's wailing and struggles drove me on, despite the pain shooting up through my jaws and the ache leftover from Grisha Jaeger's strike; it sounded as if his protests were growing weaker.

"Yes...!" I hissed, feeling the rope give, finally, between my teeth. Mikasa had instantly wrenched her hands free, tending first to her bound feet and then to my restraints.

That was when Eren fell silent.

Both of us froze, a thousand questions racing through my mind. But in the next instant, every question I could have possible asked was rendered useless as the basement exploded around us. A titan reared up in our midst with a space-and-time-shattering roar and Grisha Jaeger, his face a mask of panic, came barreling out of what was left of the closet. I was barely aware of being grabbed, Mikasa hoisted up over the scientist's shoulder and my limp body tucked up to his side.

"Eren...!!" my friend wailed, although it was nearly drowned in the titan's roar. I couldn't even muster a sound; all I could do was stare in shock up at the giant who had materialized out of thin air. _A... titan... How...? How did it...? And_ why _...?!_

The house itself was shattering, word splintering and stone cracking all around us; the steps under Grisha Jaeger's feet disintegrated and he stumbled, sending Mikasa and I skidding forward across the ground-level of the house. The titan was shaking its head as if disoriented, towering over us and what was left of the house; it was like nothing I'd ever seen, a 15 meter tall beast with glittering green eyes and a terrifying set of gnashing teeth, the skin that would have formed its lips apparently missing. I tried to get to my feet, only to find them still bound; I barely had time to panic before I was scooped up by Eren's father again and slung up over his shoulder.

"What did you _do_?!" Mikasa was shrieking, pounding furiously at the man that was carrying us. Her thrashing was so violent that, after a moment, Grisha Jaeger stumbled again and fell to his knees as Mikasa writhed free of his grip.

"We have to get out of here!" the man screamed at her, and I noticed for the first time that he had tears in his eyes. "I don't know what else to do! I brought you two along in hopes that it might be able help me control him, but that obviously isn't going to work! He won't recognize any of us; he'll eat us the first chance he gets, just like any other titan!!"

"What did you do with Eren?!" Mikasa shrieked, apparently unconcerned with what Doctor Jaeger had just said. "Where is he?! Did you feed your own son to a titan, you... madman?!!"

"No..." I was surprised to hear my own breathy voice, but the theory forming in my mind was impossible to ignore. The way that Grisha Jaeger had been talking... and behaving, even before that... "... Eren _is_ the titan..."

"What?!" Mikasa demanded, but Grisha gave a sigh as he staggered to his feet.

"At least one of you can keep your head," he muttered, stooping down and undoing my bonds. "There isn't time to explain it now, but you're right- that _is_ Eren. I had to bet that I could control him, and I lost the bet. Now he'll rampage, just like any normal titan, eating anyone he encounters."

"You saw that he wasn't stable!" I snapped, surprising myself with the fierceness of my accusation. "You did this even after you saw that he was _already_ exhibiting cannibalistic behavior?!"

"I had no choice!!" Grisha retorted, looking as if he wanted to hit me again; if that meant I could just go to sleep and forget that this was happening, I didn't think I would mind. "I took great personal risk even getting here! But time was running out; we needed the Coordinate!"

I saw Mikasa approaching from the other side of him, lip drawn back over her teeth. "Turn him back," she snarled, and Grisha rounded on her.

"Don't you think I would if I could?!" he demanded. A sudden roar from the titan made him wince, and then he was running. "Follow me if you want to live!!"

Without hesitation, I bolted after him; as much as I despised and distrusted the man at the moment, he clearly possessed the most knowledge about the current situation. On top of that, he had no compelling reason to want us dead; on the contrary, he had compromised his own escape from a rampaging titan to drag us along. Mikasa looked to me- asking what she should do.

"Come on!" I spared a breath to shout, and only then did the girl follow. My whole body was still aching from our adventure on the Wall that morning, though, and I knew instantly that both she and Grisha could outpace me in their sleep; I strained to keep up, unwilling to fall behind, and found that willpower was sufficient fuel for the moment.

I could hear the titan- Eren, I forced myself to acknowledge -roaring and wreaking havoc mere blocks behind us; people were screaming and fleeing in all directions, panic sweeping the whole district like a poison. But Grisha seemed to know where he was going- my house. He didn't bother climbing to the usual entrance, but instead rammed the front door with all his strength. The wood gave, cracking, and he struck it again. I glanced back, eyes fixed on the 15 meter titan he had knowingly released into our already ravaged district- also, my best friend.

"Why?!" I burst out suddenly, perhaps inappropriately; Grisha slammed his body against the door again, with Mikasa's added help.

"Now is not the time!" he snarled in reply, and then rammed the door once more; this time it splintered, the barricade behind giving out and allowing all three of us to rush in. The horses, though panicked, were easy enough to get a hold of, and Grisha hoisted me up onto the mare in front of Mikasa. "Follow me," he said again, swinging up onto the stallion. "We're going Outside the Walls."

"Outside?!" I repeated, my eyes bugging. With a sudden certainty, I snatched the reigns from Mikasa and wheeled the horse around, grabbing for and seizing the bridle of Grisha's horse. The man's eyes lit with fear and rage and he lashed out, chopping down on my wrist; although I winced, I didn't release my grip.

"This is _my_ district, _my_ home, and my _family_ that you have taken it into your mad skull to interfere with," I said, a sudden and icy confidence flooding through me. "N-No one goes anywhere until I get the facts. And we are _not_ leaving Eren to kill or be killed."

"You don't understand...!" Grisha spat, wrestling with my hand; he dug his nails into my skin, but I had stopped feeling anything at all in the limb.

"These are also _my_ horses," I said. "And it just so happens that you can't escape without one."

"You don't understand-!!" Grisha repeated furiously. "We can't deal with him alone! We need to let him rampage- exhaust himself! Or the others-!"

The roof gave in suddenly; I hadn't realized that Eren was so close, but the huge foot crashing through our ceiling told me as much. The horses panicked, bucking, and I was tossed loose; still clinging to the bridal of Grisha Jaeger's mount, I half-dragged myself up onto its neck, Eren's roar shaking the very air around us. The spooked animal tried to bolt but was off-balance; it's hooves slipped out from under it and then all of us- Grisha, the horse, _and_ I -were falling. I felt several ribs crack as I hit the ground, and then the horse was on top of me, smashing a few more. Gasping in agony, I wriggled out from under the animal, hoping that _it_ wasn't hurt.

A quick glance around revealed the current situation: Mikasa was still mounted, although barely; Grisha was moaning in pain, trying to get up; the fallen horse, thankfully, seemed to have all four legs intact, although it was all but unridable in its panic. _Catch the horse,_ appeared as in instant priority in my mind; lurching forward, I grabbed for its reigns and dug my feet into the ground, trying to keep it from rearing.

Another roar from Eren set the house crumbling around us; the two horses shrieked in terror and I, realizing that it was certainly now or never, flung myself up and managed to scramble onto the creature's back. Grisha had gotten to his feet, although the blood gushing from his ear could not have been a good sign.

"Get on!!" I shouted; although I felt shaky and sick, about to lose consciousness or my precarious seat any moment, I offered him my hand. He took it, his fingers, slick with blood, tangling with mine.

And then Eren was there. Those were his eyes, certainly; it was impossible to mistake their swirling, blue-green depths. But the glint of madness I saw when he was eating human flesh had intensified to a raging inferno of insanity, and the terrifying set of blood-stained teeth were far more preoccupying than his semi-familiar eyes.

"E-Eren...?"

The titan's huge hand closed around Grisha Jaeger's frail body; he made the kind of sound that only the dying can make, although it was cut short as Eren tightened his grip. Blood burst from the older man's mouth as the titan lifted him up, up...

"Stop it, Eren, stop!!" I wailed, desperate to keep the mad scientist of Shiganshina alive for just a little while longer- I would happily let Eren eat him, but there were questions that still needed answers. And so, without thinking, I leaped up; off the horse and onto the titan's fingers, clinging there and scrabbling desperately for a solid hold.

"Armin!!" I heard Mikasa shriek, and there was a sudden whir of the 3D Maneuver Gear that she was still wearing. All I could feel was Eren's titan-hot flesh pressed to me; all I could hear was his enraged growling. But none of that mattered; what mattered was freeing Grisha Jaeger, provided he was still alive.

Scrambling up, I was undeniably relieved to see Eren's father still gasping for breath- undeniably dying, but not dead yet. Using the only weapon I could think of, I sunk my teeth into Eren's hand; steam hissed up around my face from the wound, searing my tongue and lips and making me whimper with agony. It worked, however, and then both Grisha and I were falling again. We hit the ground simultaneously, I with a wail and he with a whimper; then, vaguely aware of Mikasa engaging Eren in the background, I crawled to his side, finding myself unable to get completely to my feet.

"Tell me what you know!" I gasped out, once I had reached him; my words were slurred because of the burns on my tongue and mouth. "You... demon, tell me what you know before you go to hell!!"

He only shook his head; I, half delirious with pain, grabbed his collar and shook him, although that only provoked a blood-laden cough.

"You're going to die anyway...!" I pleaded, trying to make him see reason. "You're going to _die_...! But others don't have to! Tell me what you did to Eren, and maybe I can stop it!!"

"You were..." he wheezed, "... always the smart one. But there is... no way... to force the transformation to undo itself."

"You would _not_ have turned Eren into a titan if there was no way to turn him back!" I insisted. "Regardless of whether or not you thought you could control him, it doesn't make any--!" _sense!_ "Eren can undo it...!"

" _If_ he was conscious, he _might_ be able to..." Grisha breathed, his eyes beginning to glaze over. "That's... what I... was betting."

"Well you lost your bet!" I snapped, my full attention back on the dying man. "Now help me win mine! How does the transformation occur, how?!"

Grisha was smiling slightly, now. "The... Coordinate... ... Plan... failed. Tell... the others..."

I was certain the words weren't for me; Grisha Jaeger was no longer talking to me. "What others?!" I demanded, risking shaking him again. "Doctor Jaeger!!"

"The neck, the neck..." he sang softly, blood beginning to drip from his closed eyes like tears. "... Crystallize...!"

"The neck..." I repeated softly. "Crystallize...?" _The neck... the... neck..._ "Titans'... weak spots!!" I realized suddenly, remembering what I had read long ago. "The back of the neck!" Returning my attention to the dying man, I shook him again; there were still so many missing pieces. "What others?!" I repeated, though he didn't respond. "Why turn Eren into a titan? Why, just answer me why!!"

His eyes opened, just slightly- I saw in their depths that he was still sane, in that instant, or as sane as he had ever been; he knew who I was and what I was asking; he knew the answer.

"They'll come looking..." he whispered, "for the Coordinate. And then... you'll all be... titan food."

With that maddening riddle, Grisha Jaeger died under me, his blood soaking into every pour on my skin. With a shriek that was half anger and half frustration, I struggled to my feet and took stock of the situation.

Mikasa was flying around Eren's head, her 3D Maneuver Gear keeping her just out of his reach. I could see both the horses, much to my relief, cowering in what was left of our kitchen, the pot of soup that Mikasa had been making capsized. Our roof was gone, the upper floor and attic ripped away by Eren's movements as he attempted to catch the human girl he didn't recognize.

"Mikasa!!" I yelled up, agony tearing through my burned throat as I raised my voice. She glanced down, and I scrambled up onto what was left of our table in an attempt to make myself better heard. "Eren himself can undo the transformation, if we can get him conscious!! His weak spot is the same as any other titan's- the 1 meter by 10 centimeter strip on the back of his neck!! If you carve that spot out," I added, in case she didn't know, "it'll probably kill him!! But a stab to it might be painful enough to snap him out of this rampage!!"

"You're willing to risk that?!" the girl shrieked back, just as Eren took a swipe at her; she narrowly avoided him.

"Do we have a choice?!" I yelled up; she, looking reluctant, shook her head.

But then Eren's eyes were on me. I felt as much as saw him coming towards me, massive hand outstretched; his roar drowned my scream as I flung myself to the side, narrowly avoiding him. But that didn't stop him; reaching forward, he grabbed the _body_ that lay behind me- the body of Grisha Jaeger.

"Eren, don't!!" I heard Mikasa shriek. But the subsequent _crunch_ told me that her plea hand gone unheard, and a small shower of blood splattered down on me a heartbeat later.

"It doesn't matter!!" I shouted up. "He was already dead!!" _Eren had already killed him,_ I acknowledged grimly, though that was the last thing Mikasa needed to hear. "Just focus on that vital spot!!"

I dragged myself out of the mud in time to see my friend land, with laudable grace, on the back of Eren's neck. I watched as she took careful aim, positioning her knife directly over the center of his neck, where a human's spine would be.

 _Please let this work...!_ I begged, my bones shaken by another of Eren's roars. _We'll have to kill you if this doesn't work...!_

Mikasa's blade flew downward; I watched as it traveled, true to her aim, until Eren lurched suddenly beneath her. Her blade jerked to the side, sinking into the titan's flesh but missing her exact target.

That _didn't_ seem to matter. Eren's roar turned high-pitched with pain as he thrashed, Mikasa barely managing to hang on even with the use of her Gear. But I could hear her, frantically shouting Eren's name, begging him to wake up.

"Eren!!" I lent my damaged voice to the effort. "Eren, it's me, Armin!! Weren't we going to see the outside world together?! Didn't you promise we'd see the ocean together, Eren?!"

The titan's legs folded abruptly under him; I shrieked and dove out of the way as he wrecked what was left of our house, as well as half of the one next door. But he seemed to be calming, if slightly- blinking, like a human might when coming out of a deep sleep. His roar petered out into a tremulous, questioning wail, and I knew instantly that he had returned to himself. Ignoring the flares of agony all over my body, I ran to him; climbed up onto his leg, and then onto his blood-soaked palm, letting him lift me up to eye-level.

"Eren!" I gasped out. "You can hear me, right? You can understand me?!"

The giant creature gave an almost whimpering rumble, his eyes panic-stricken as he gazed at me. Instantly Mikasa was beside me, her weapon steaming with titan blood.

"Eren?!" The titan nodded, and her legs gave out with relief. "Of thank god...!" she cried, burying her face in her hands for a moment.

"Your father said that you could undo the transformation!" I said hurriedly, knowing that it was only a matter of time before the rest of the district appeared, wielding swords and fire and any other weapons they could get their hands on. "D-Do you have any idea how to?"

Eren, his eyes huge, shook his head; my heart dropped, even though I had been expecting the answer. Muttering an apology, I gathered what was left of my flagging strength and climbed up his nose; his hair made the next part of my trek easy enough, and then I slid down until I was perched on the nape of his neck.

"Does this hurt?" I asked, prodding gently at the spot that Mikasa had stabbed; I received a rumble in reply and, not being able to see his eyes, couldn't make sense of it. "Eren... can you take a bit of pain for the sake of a hunch of mine?"

This time there was a distinct nod from my best friend; what was he going to answer, really, unless he wanted to be stuck as a titan for the rest of his very short life? "Thanks. Mikasa, could you pass me your knife?"

"What for?" the girl asked mistrustfully, and I shot her a disbelieving look. Sighing, she tossed me the weapon.

"Thanks."

She nodded, and then crouched down, getting a deliberately good grip on Eren's hand. Taking a deep breath and reminding myself that time was of the essence, I slipped the blade into the titan's superheated skin.

Eren let out a comparably soft roar of pain, and I nearly lost my grip. But I forced my hands to stay steady as I cut slowly, carefully, through the first layer of skin. After I had made a sizable hole, I held the knife in my teeth and used my hands to dig through the adipose and muscle tissue; it might have been slightly more painful for us both but, if I was right, I didn't want to risk using the knife.

Eren gave a strangled roar as I felt my hand break into what felt like a small hollow inside the titan's neck; pulling apart the tissues surrounding it, it wasn't long until I could peer inside and, low and behold, saw exactly what I had expected.

"Mikasa! Mikasa, come help me!"

Instantly the girl was by my side, although it left Eren whimpering; I could feel the skin on my hand starting to blister from being inside the hot cavern at the back of the titan's neck, but I didn't dare remove it for fear of the wound healing over. When Mikasa crouched over my shoulder, I forced my arm to the side slightly so that she could peer into the hole. Her eyes widened sharply, and for a moment I though she was either going to fall backwards in surprise or throw herself forward.

"... Eren...!"

"His real body!" I confirmed excitedly. "You've got to help me cut him out!"

With the two of us working together, we had soon exposed a fair amount of our friend's body; as we did so, the titan's head began to nod as if it were losing consciousness, and Eren's human body began to twitch as he woke. Suddenly, then, he was shrieking and writhing, tearing himself free of the steaming flesh and releasing a rush of heat that scalded both Mikasa and I. Gasping, wide-eyed and panicked, Eren grasped at the edges of the hole; together, we helped pull him the rest of the way out. I could feel him shaking, his eyes rolling like a terrified animal's as he came back to himself.

"Armin... Mikasa...!" he gasped out, tears rolling down his face. I noted with relief that, for all the psychological trauma the episode may have caused, he seemed unharmed physically save for a few burns around his eyes and arms that were fading before my very eyes.

The titan's body, predictably, began to disintegrate as soon as we pulled Eren entirely free; Mikasa flew us safely to the ground with her 3D Maneuver Gear before we fell, thankfully. I was shaking so hard, by that time, that I could hardly stand upright, injuries notwithstanding; Eren lent me his shoulder. But the fact of the matter was, there was still a lot of work to be done before nosy neighbors began to turn up.

"First... come the horses..." I wheezed, vaguely aware of blood dripping down my chin from my burned mouth and throat. "Then we have to... get down to the basement. We should try to get the horses into the basement."

Mikasa didn't question me, simply did as I said; although she was usually fairly receptive, I was especially grateful as I sagged against Eren. While she handled the horses, both of us ended up huddled together on the ground, somewhat numb and each taking comfort in the other's presence.

"Now what?" Mikasa asked, when she returned; I couldn't bare to lift my head from where it was resting on Eren's shoulder.

"The two... farmhouses. Were they damaged?"

"One was all but destroyed." I felt Eren give a soft sob of guilt. "The other is intact, though."

"It's not so bad..." I murmured, half to comfort Eren and half to inform Mikasa. "We need... to collect what we can salvage from the destroyed farmhouse." I started to push myself upright, but Mikasa motioned for me to stay down.

"I'll take care of it. You two just take care of each other until I get back."

With a murmur of gratitude, I let my body go limp again. I had stopped feeling pain quite a while ago- I had stopped feeling _anything_ quite a while ago, if the truth was to be told. Consciousness seemed a lot less solid than it should have, and time warped as I waited for Mikasa to return; it felt like mere moments had passed when she did, although the soil smeared across every inch of her body said differently. Then I _did_ force myself up, urging Eren to stand beside me.

"With any luck, _that_ will keep people away for a little while," I said, motioning to the steaming titan skeleton in the street. "But they'll show up soon enough, and we need to be ready for that." I turned to Eren, hating what I needed to ask him. "If you needed to, could you turn into a titan again?"

He gave me a look of supreme horror and disbelief, remaining silent; waiting for me to retract the question. But I couldn't, keeping my gaze level as I watched him. I could feel Mikasa's gaze boring into the back of my head, and knew that if I was anyone, anyone else at all, that I would have a dagger embedded in my back. But she still trusted me; Eren did, as well, and so eventually answered.

"I... know how to," he said reluctantly. "I... bite my hand, like this..." he began, lifting his hand to his mouth, "and... focus on something- a goal. Dad told me that."

I nodded briefly, thinking. "Alright... that gives us a few more options."

"'Options?'" Mikasa echoed disbelievingly; warily. "Armin, what are you talking about?"

I fidgeted, unsure of my plan; it was drastic, and I doubted Mikasa _or_ Eren would approve of it. But perhaps this curse was a blessing in disguise; perhaps...

"We'll be taking control of the district," I announced softly. "A bit earlier than I intended or anticipated, certainly, but... why waste the opportunity that that madman has presented us with? Mikasa, Eren... can I possibly ask you both to trust me, just this one last time?"


	3. The Expedition Gone Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait! *bows repeatedly* Before we get to the actual chapter, **I've got two important announcements regarding the fic:**  
>  One- it will not be four chapters after all, it will be _more_ than that. This chapter took a twist that I wasn't expecting it to take (seriously, I always meant for this chapter to be, like... a housekeeping chapter, but my muse had other ideas, I suppose...). ~~So, now I'm planning more in the rage of 6, maybe 7 chapters.~~  
>  Nope, nope. Did I say 6 or 7? I'm sorry, I have rough drafts for 11 chapters as of right now. //shot  
> Two- this threw off my pacing and plans considerably. So. The next few chapters are going to be in a bit of a strange order. I had three of four options I was considering, but now I've more or less settled on how things are gonna go down. So please bear with me- all unanswered questions will be answered, if not exactly when they feel like they should be answered. ^^  
> That said, please enjoy Chapter 3 of The Lost and The Caged~
> 
>  
> 
> Pssst... follow my SnK tumblr for updates regarding fanfics, new projects, and to see if my requests are currently open~ http://3dmgshenanigans.tumblr.com/ 

"Form an orderly line, now! I _will_ have order or heads _will_ roll!"

They really didn't respond without sufficiently harsh motivation. My black-coated stallion nickered uneasily at the proximity of the masses, but it had been a while since the last time I had been physically attacked, and I tried to calm the nervous animal.

Wheeling my mount around, I made my slow way along the uneven line. I noticed, of course, the telling lack of elderly persons or very young children; Armin was always fretting over the later, although heaven only knew why. Prancing up and down the line, I strained up to catch a glimpse of my blonde friend at its head. It wasn't as if I didn't trust Eren to look after him, or Armin to look after Eren... I just wished that I was close enough to look after them both myself.

"What's this about, Missy?" a greasy, middle-aged man asked me, shambling up to my horse and making a grab for the bridal. I lifted it clear of his reach, grateful that the horse was so tall; I was still a child, easily grabbed- if not easily held. He was the fifth person in as many minutes to ask, and I was in no mood.

"Monthly census," I replied tersely. "You should be used to it by now."

"But this bein' ruled by some green little whelp, I mean-" he began, but wisely stopped talking when the tip of my blade materialized at his throat.

"Get back in line," I ordered coldly. "Lord Armin cares about every life in this filthy district, but he also recognizes that sacrifices must be made."

Hands up, murmuring something resembling an apology, the man backed away; they had all seen me slice decenters' throats before, or heard rumors of it at the very least. Of course, the rate of rebellion had dropped rapidly as time went on, and as a result of more than my sword; the simple fact was, Armin's orders and edicts had all but halted the district's spiral toward ultimate extinction.

And then, of course, there was the matter of Eren.

Scanning the crowd once more, I wheeled my horse around and cantered up toward the head of the line, relieved when my two boys came into sight. Eren was scowling his usual dark scowl, eyes shifting mistrustfully from person to person; Armin was far calmer, deep in conversation with a scrawny woman dressed in once-colorful rags and occasionally scribbling down notes.

Four months had passed since Grisha Jaeger's reappearance and the revelation of Eren's titan powers. Armin had since, with our help, seized total control of every aspect of life in the district- that had always been his plan, he had admitted to us; the business of Grisha Jaeger and Eren's rampage had simply afforded him the chance to do it sooner than he had anticipated. I doubted anything went on in the district now without his knowledge, or ever had. The reintroduction of a civilized structure had, for a short time, intensified the chaos, but Armin had never wavered in his convictions; within a month, he had facilitated the dismantling of the two ruling gangs, the Deserters and the Wolf Pack, and managed to install his own brand of order.

One of the main things, admittedly, that had convinced people to follow the tiny blonde boy, Armin Arlert, was that he apparently had a titan on his side. Among other things, Eren had used his titan powers to clear away a good half of the district, which was now used exclusively for farming. The impact had been immediate, at least on moral; people suddenly began to realize that there _was_ a way to survive, and that above all else had convinced them to swear allegiance to their unlikely king.

"Mikasa!"

I glanced over at his shout; turned my horse and trotted up as he dismissed the woman.

"Would you be willing to lead another expedition beyond the Walls this afternoon? Supplies are running dangerously low, especially the livestock." He grimaced. "People haven't been as careful as they should be."

I nodded; not everyone was as farsighted as my wise-beyond-his-years friend, and the cattle and other animals we had managed to retrieve on our first and only trip beyond the Walls had been disappearing at an alarming rate. There were plenty more, of course... Outside, in titan territory. As one of the only people proficient with 3D Maneuver Gear in the district, including former Garrison members who were either out of practice or had never been much good to begin with, the leading of such expeditions fell to me. Then there was the fact that I was one of the only two people Armin truly trusted; such a task could be entrusted to no one else.

"Of course; I'll gather a small patrol."

"Good; I'll make a list of things you should aim to bring back."

I didn't doubt that his list would be realistic; he knew what the district needed, but he also knew what we were capable of pulling off. As the line moved forward, I picked out people to take part in the expedition. Some of them had been a part of the first- already proved themselves worthy; I just liked the look of a few others. When I had selected a dozen able and willing recruits, I led them back toward Armin's old house.

Although the framework had been mangled and the upper floors torn away by Eren's first rampage, we still lived in the basement; it was as safe a place as any, nostalgic, and easily defensible. Our old basement, surprisingly, had become a study of sorts for Armin. When he went there, it meant that he wanted to be alone; not even Eren and I were allowed to follow. I glanced at the small wall, salvaged from the wreckage of Armin's old room, as I passed. The tallies were growing absurdly numerous, but he refused to abandon the practice of numbering the "Days Since the World Ended." I had long since lost count. 

My mount was well-trained, and no longer balked and bucked when I urged him underground; my recruits stayed put, knowing that no one was allowed to enter our underground sanctuary- try, and you were certain to be caught in one of the many traps we had painstakingly set. It was a daily occurrence for all three of us to be out at once- we were hardly ever separated, in fact -so our base would have been undefended if it weren't for the traps.

It took me several careful minutes to disarm and pick my way around the various mechanisms, most of them Armin's design. But eventually I got through, leading my mount into the dark cavern where we had made our home. I lit a torch, greeted by the nickering of nervous horses as I did so. We looked after all the horses recovered on the first expedition, for safekeeping; they were, by far, the most valuable animals in the district, and would have likely been killed for meat if we didn't keep watch over them. As it was, only one had met such a grisly fate- at Eren's hands, actually.

We had caught him gnawing through the poor creature's throat, absolutely dripping with blood. Armin had lost his temper; I had never seen him so furious, actually striking Eren several times. I had eventually intervened, although it had earned me a slap from my irate blonde friend as well. I knew, however, that half his rage was actually concern in disguise; I couldn't suppress it, myself- frantic worry for my adopted brother and the state of his fragile humanity.

In his defense, that exact incident had taken place barely an hour after he had been in his titan form for two days straight. In his defense.

I bridled the rest of the horses, stringing them together with a lead reign, then mounted my own and led the lot of them above ground. I let my recruits chose their mounts as I reset the various traps, then swung up onto my own horse once again. I double-checked my 3D Maneuver Gear, attached the fresh canisters of gas I had grabbed, and then turned to face my rag-tag group of soldiers.

"Our main objective is, of course, supply and livestock retrieval," I informed them. "As some of you know, your primary task will be to gather said supplies and livestock while Eren and I defend you. Do not attempt to engage any titans; do not stray outside the designated area; obey my commands without question. Do that and you will survive, fate willing."

I saw heads nodding in agreement, mainly my veterans; the newer recruits looked far more nervous and, in some cases, nauseous. But that wasn't my concern; their lives were their own responsibilities, from that point on. I wheeled my house and galloped back toward where the census was being held, my squad streaming out behind me as they followed. Most of the business had been concluded; Armin was conversing with the last couple present, although I could tell from Eren's posture that all was not entirely well. Signaling for my recruits to stay where they were, I dismounted and led my horse over on foot.

"... don't believe it!" the man was saying, although Armin was unresponsive. "I will not stand by and be fed such blatant lies!"

"I am not lying, sir," Armin replied; although his voice was calm, I could tell that he was just as on edge as Eren. He met my eyes briefly; gave a tiny shake of his head- he didn't want action taken against the man, not just yet.

"Honey, please...!" the woman was begging, pulling at her husband's arm. "Haven't things gotten better?"

"Not for our son!" the man retorted. "Not for your parents and not for mine! Not for our neighbors! Everyone is dead, and now everyone is going to die!!"

"There have been casualties," Armin replied, his icy tone belying the way he trembled, "and there have been sacrifices. But that is why you two are still alive, and why I'll make sure that you stay that way."

"Bullshit!!" the man shrieked, lunging suddenly at Armin despite his wife's wail of alarm. I moved forward, but was a millisecond too late to save his life as blood splattered across the ground.

"Don't speak to Lord Armin in that way." Eren's eyes were dark, his hand embedded up to the wrist in the poor waif's chest. "He's trying to save your life."

The woman's screaming intensified, and I sighed; Armin, too, groaned in irritation.

"Why did you do that, Eren? He wasn't even armed."

"He was attacking you," the other replied, unrepentant. "He was obviously mad."

"Any more mad than you?" our blonde friend asked tiredly, but then pushed himself to his feet with a sigh. "I do apologize, ma'm," he said formally, to the shivering and traumatized woman. "But I do think it may have been for the best- for the good of your own survival."

A last ditch attempt to calm her down; to save her life.

"Mu... Murderer...!" she gasped out, and then shrieked it, "Murderer!!" and flung herself toward Eren. I wanted to look away, but forced myself not to; Armin did. There was a horrible crack; a strangled gasp from the woman.

"Don't... call me that," Eren whispered, his eyes swirling with rage. "You're the murderers, you!!"

"Eren!" I pleaded, taking a step forward, but he rounded on me.

"If you had seen it, Mikasa, if you had seen it!" he snapped. "If you had seen what they did to Mom-!" He choked softly, tears gathering in his eyes as he turned back to the woman, screaming, "You're the murderers!!"

"Eren!" I tried again, more desperately, but he was unresponsive. The woman's struggling had grown weak and frantic; Eren had no trouble finishing the job. I turned away; there was a squelching of flesh as the woman's head was torn brutally from her body, blood flying everywhere like a hot, sticky rain.

"Murderer," my adopted brother scoffed again, letting her body fall to the ground but keeping her head in one hand. He examined it; spat, as though he were still speaking to the woman, "I'm defending them! I'm defending them, like I couldn't defend Mom!"

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Armin said softly, and Eren rounded on him.

"What, defend you and Mikasa?"

"Be so quick to kill." Our blonde friend sounded ill.

"Eren, the expedition is ready," I spoke up quietly, and he turned; I looked up in time to see him lick at the blood the had spattered onto his lips.

"Okay," he replied simply, letting the head fall from his hand. It was always like that- the moment a new task appeared, he calmed. My adopted brother fell in beside me as I led the way back to the cluster of recruits; Armin followed, as well- it wouldn't do to leave him in the district alone, unprotected. Some of my patchwork squad noticed the blood that was still smeared across Eren's face and hands, flinching back, but most of them either didn't see it or chose to ignore it. I helped Armin up onto my horse in front of me; Eren swung up onto the extra mount I had brought.

"Did you get a chance to make up that list?" I asked Armin, and he nodded, handing me the notebook. I glanced briefly at it, then passed it back to my soldiers. "This is what we aim to obtain; doable?"

After receiving a few hesitant murmurs of affirmation, I wasted no more daylight, setting off at a steady clip. I could feel Armin's head nod against my chest as we rode; he was exhausted, I knew. But I also knew that falling asleep during an Expedition meant certain death, and glanced worriedly over at Eren. He had noticed, too; smiled reassuringly at me.

"I'll protect him, don't worry."

I returned the smile- the gentle Eren that I knew and loved had, for the moment, overcome the evil that was festering inside him. It was like that whenever it was just the three of us; other people triggered his rages, his violence, but not us; never us. And not for the first time, I wished it _was_ just us; I wished everyone else was dead and gone, just like Eren often did.

"Eren!" I called, and he nodded; leaping from his horse, he used his 3D Maneuverer Gear to scale the Wall. I halted the rest of my makeshift squad, waking Armin as I did so, and watched as my adopted brother reached the top of the Wall; dove off the other side. There was a fearsome bolt of lightning, followed a moment later by a roar that shook the very air around us; Armin winced, although didn't move.

"Open the Gate as soon as you hear the second roar!!" I called up to the ex-Garrison members who were already waiting for just that signal. It would mean that Eren had dispatched most of the nearby titans, making the exit more manageable for us and lowering the risk of letting a titan enter the district.

A few tenuous moments passed before the signal came; with a shout to my team, I led the charge out the gates as they opened. "Scatter!!" I shouted. "Stay in teams of two or more, and begin supply retrieval!!"

Eren was crouched near the Gate, breath coming in gasps and several titan corpses on the ground around him. I cantered up to him, seeing that one of his hands was smoking wildly as it regenerated.

"Take Armin?" I asked, and he nodded with a rumble. My blonde friend willing hopped off my horse and onto Eren's palm; he always road with Eren, considering the difficulties of navigating 3D Maneuver Gear with an extra body in tow. Once I verified that he was safely settled on Eren's ear, where he liked to perch, I wheeled my horse away and galloped into the surrounding farmland. I spotted a team of four of my veterans working together to gather up a herd of cattle; they knew exactly what to do. Some of the newer recruits were having a harder time of it: some chasing after chickens on foot and others trying in vein to gain access to abandoned farmhouses.

But they would pick it up soon enough- my job wasn't to instruct them, but to protect them. I could see two titans approaching from the North, and Eren's growling told me that he was busy on the Eastern flank of our little operation. Wasting no more time, I galloped out toward the oncoming threat, keeping a sharp eye out for anything that might indicate an Aberrant.

One of the huge beasts roared, picking up speed as soon as it saw me; the other kept shambling along at a normal pace, much to my relief. There were no trees or sufficiently tall buildings nearby, so Maneuver Gear usage would be tricky. With a cry, I launched myself up, shooting out one cable and attaching it to the running titan's shoulder. The beast bellowed in confusion as I flew easily up, lopping out the weak spot on the back of its neck.

Before it fell completely, I sprang off of it and used the momentum to fly forward; shooting out both my cables, I saw them both hit their targets: the other titan's eyes. It roared in apparent pain, tilting its head back and unwittingly pulling me closer; it was a simple matter to gouge through its neck, then, both killing and beheading it. I took a moment to appreciate my horse as he trotted up to meet me; accustomed to Eren as he was, titans didn't scare the beautiful black stallion.

"If Eren ever tries to eat you," I murmured as I swung up onto the animal's back, "then I'll really have to have a word with him."

I should have been enrolled in military training that year; I was officially old enough to learn how to slay titans. As the thought entered my head, I nearly smiled. Slaying titans was a matter of necessity, and 3D Maneuver Gear was the only way to go about it. All three of us practiced tirelessly, but I especially had poured all I had into the independent training. If I wanted to protect Eren, I needed to be on-par with him in his titan form; even more powerful than he was in his titan form. So that I could always protect him.

The Gates were still open, I saw, as those four veterans headed several dozen cattle into the district- more than Armin had hoped for, I noted. Moments later they reemerged, galloping back out into the fields. Eren was on the other side of the formation, wrestling with a seven meter Common Titan. For a moment, I wanted to go and help him; I couldn't, however, not without leaving us exposed. I was relieved a moment later, though, when he dispatched the hideous creature, and I saw a flash of gold in his hair as Armin's popped up to watch the beast fall.

Things were going all-too-well for my comfort.

A scream split the air suddenly, and I looked over to see one of the new recruits, on the ground and shaking like a leaf, pointing toward the North. When I followed his gaze, I felt my breath catch.

"Eren!! Aberrant!!" I yelled, at the top of my lungs. Without free use of my Maneuver Gear, I didn't dare confront the thing; I knew my limits. I wasn't quite there yet- wasn't quite more powerful than Eren in his titan form. Wheeling my horse, I galloped to cover Eren's former position, praying that another Aberrant wouldn't appear before he had dealt with this one.

There were several things that defined the approaching titan, so clearly, as an Aberrant: for one thing, it was running in a very coordinated and deliberate fashion, as if headed straight for the district; for another, it looked far more human than most. The final clue was that it looked _female_ , more so than any other titan I had seen, although I had not, admittedly, seen that many Aberrants. It unnerved me, to say the least, and I spun my mount so that I could watch the battle.

Eren threw a right-hook, a typical opening move for him. My eyes widened; I was certain that the Female Titan looked genuinely surprised before the fist struck it, sending it skidding across the turf.

Eren let out a bone-shaking roar, meant to intimidate; the female was picking itself up, shaking its head as if to dispel the punch. When it became obvious that it wasn't going to retreat, however, Eren surged forward with another roar, hands outstretched.

Then, with a fluid grace that I had never imagined a titan capable of, the female swept out its foot, knocking Eren's legs out from under him and snapping the right one clean off.

Panic and cold dread washing through me, I urged my horse forward, sweeping around the perimeter we had set up. "Grab what you can and retreat!!" I yelled, as loudly as I could. "Get back inside the Walls, now!! The Female Titan cannot be allowed to enter Shiganshina! Get back inside the Walls _now_!!"

Instantly my makeshift squad was moving; I counted the horses as they passed me, relieved to see that every member of the expedition was accounted for. Then I spun around to face the battle again, my very bones going cold at what I saw.

Eren's leg hadn't entirely regenerated, but he had still managed to get up. He leaped forward as I watched, managing to get a grip on the female's arm before taking a brutal punch to the jaw. So forceful was the strike that it not only blew a hole in the side of his face, but also ripped off the female's arm that he was clinging to, flinging him to the side. I was close enough to see a small shape tossed loose as he fell, striking the turf and bouncing, tumbling across the ground for several yards before coming to a terrifyingly still stop.

"Armin!!" I screamed, wheeling my horse and galloping towards his unmoving shape. "Armin!!"

The Female Titan, for Fate only knew what reason, seemed to have the same idea. I heard Eren give a crippled roar as he lurched forward, grabbing onto the female's leg as it approached our fallen friend. He sunk his teeth into the exposed muscle that covered its whole body, drawing a torrent of steaming blood that splashed down around me as I closed the distance. Then the female wrenched itself free, loosing the greater portion of its leg in the process, and swiped out at me. With a cry of panic I reigned my mount in, making him rear back just in time to avoid the huge, grasping fingers. I briefly entertained the idea of switching to Maneuver Gear, but I would have no way of transporting Armin if I did so. And besides, I risked stranding myself if I dismounted on such flat terrain, unsuited to Maneuver Gear.

Eren's roar broke into my thoughts, and I watched in horror as the hand that had made a grab for me swept in a small arch, scooping up our blonde friend. The titan's smoking leg proved able to support its weight, a moment later, as it stood and faced Eren, this time holding Armin close to its chest.

"Coordinate..." For a moment, I couldn't believe what I was hearing; that comprehensible _words_ were emerging from the titan's lips amid a huge cloud of steam. "Come alone... or the boy... dies..."

 _Coordinate...!_ That was what Eren's father had been babbling about- according to Armin, Grisha Jaeger's last words had been something about the 'others' coming looking for the 'Coordinate.'

_"And then you'll all be titan food."_

Acting on some deep-seated instinct, I leaped from my horse. In that instant, even as I watched him take a step forward on barely regenerated feet, I was certain of only one thing in the world, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

_I cannot let Eren go with her...!_

With a cry that was half-exertion and half-warning, I shot out one cable; the titan roared as the tip sunk deep into steaming flesh. Then, knowing that an inch off and I would kill him, I grazed my blades just lightly along the back of Eren's neck, opening the cavern that housed his human body with a rush of steam.

The female gave a shriek of surprise as I landed on Eren's back, diving into the scalding flesh to drag his human body free. I felt the titan body begin to falter as his human form began to writhe, seemingly fighting me. Blind, Eren swiped back at me; I took the hit. Within heartbeats he was free and we were both falling; trying to maintain my grip on the frantic and disoriented boy, I dug my feet into the titan's disintegrating back to slow our fall, skidding down in a controlled path. Then I leaped, twisting in the air to land squarely on my waiting horse's back.

_Fates, if Eren ever tries to eat this beautiful animal I'll flay him._

Then we were galloping back toward the district. "Close the Gate!" I screamed, hearing the Female Titan begin to give chase. "Close the Gate!!"

Eren was beginning to regain his senses, draped across my lap; this meant that he was starting to struggle, too, not blindly but purposefully thrashing against me.

"Armin!!" he screamed, managing to twist past me so that he could reach back toward the Female Titan. "Mikasa, she's got Armin! We can't leave Armin!!"

"Protecting you is more important!" I snarled, but felt a stab of guilt a moment later. I had no idea what this business about the Coordinate was; had no idea if it was important to our survival at all. Yet Armin was the key to the survival of the whole district; our King.

Our friend.

The Gate slammed shut seconds after we skidded in amid a cloud of dust; I heard the Female Titan slam against the stone, heard its terrible shriek of rage. But what was much louder in my ears were Eren's furious, frustrated sobs; the half-hearted curses he was directing at me.

The loudest thing, however, was my own voice; my own thoughts as I realized, with a truly sick feeling, that I hadn't even paused to consider who was more important, Eren or Armin. The whole business with the Coordinate was nothing but an excuse; the fact was, I had just chosen between my friends' lives, without the slightest hesitation.

And, on top of it all, I hadn't even looked back, not once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa is a hard character for me to portray... I hope I did alright. ^^;
> 
> Also, did anyone else notice how, in episode nine (nine? I think it's nine...), Mikasa grabs Eren and _leaves Armin_ when they're about to get hit by the HE shell? Armin certainly doesn't look able to fend for himself, but Mikasa doesn't seem to give it any though whatsoever... she does shout for him that "we're going up!" but she certainly doesn't look back, even though he is (cough, too scared to move, cough, my sweet baby) unable to escape. Its Eren who, after he struggles free of Mikasa, goes back for Armin (and then bam! Titan Powers activate!! Day saved!). But in any case... I just thought that was interesting, and it was definitely the inspiration for the last part of this chapter. ^^


	4. The Three Feral Foundlings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ihadsomuchfunwiththischapter hnnnnnnnn  
> I actually wish that I could've devoted more time to it. Even though it's... what? 7K words as it is? l'D 
> 
> As I warned in the last chapter, we've got some weird-ass time jumps coming. Looking at the work as a whole, I liked this order for the chapters the best. That said, this chapter was always supposed to be the fourth- and last -chapter of the work. After it became clear that that wasn't going to happen, I simply tweaked and lengthened it. ^^

"There!! Head for the ruins of Shiganshina! We'll be able to rest and regroup there, provided the Wall is still intact!"

"And if the air isn't poisoned with death," I muttered, changing direction with my Commander's order. Our formation had been torn ragged by the last group of titans we had run into; we had lost most of our horses and, much too far from Wall Rose to effectively order a retreat, we were desperate for any amount of cover we could find. But I wasn't enthusiastic about visiting Shiganshina, one of several districts that the monarchy had simply abandoned when Maria fell. We had come across one other such district so far; it had been hell, a graveyard that was so polluted by rotting corpses that the air had been unbreathable.

It hadn't been titans that killed those people; it had been humans.

"Corporal! Titan sighted!"

I twisted around mid-air, locating the creature that my squad-mate Petra had spotted. _Definitely an Aberrant,_ I knew instinctively, watching the rhythm of its movements. It was fairly close to the Walls of our destination, as well, and so I made an executive decision.

"I'll deal with it; back me," I called to my squad. It was too dangerous to leave a nearby Aberrant unattended, but I didn't need to explain my reasoning to my subordinates; they either knew it already or trusted me unconditionally- likely both. Erwin gave me a nod as we peeled away from the rest of the formation, leading them to circle around and check for other titans before we approached the Walls.

Signaling to my squad, I led us in a wide arc and approached the beast from the side, grateful for the surrounding forest. It was a comparably large titan, pushing the 15 meter classification; it's huge, revolting mouth looked capable of snapping every bone in a human body. I made sure we took our time approaching; one could never be too careful around Aberrants.

I made a motion, signaling wordlessly for my squad to hang back and spread out. "Rodger!" they chorused, and I felt a thrill of pride. Gliding away from my teammates, I felt the familiar and soothing pull of my Maneuver Gear's straps. With the ease of years upon years of practice, my eyes locked on the titan's neck, muscles automatically shifting mere millimeters as I sailed forward, confident of hitting my mark. My blades at the ready, I began to spin, faster, faster, closing, closing...

"Oof!"

The breath was forced from my lungs, a distinctly human cry of rage filling my ears as I was knocked from my rotation, feeling my cables twist and tangle as I flew off-balance. My hearing was distorted as I tried to regain my balance, but I distinctly heard a female voice, shrill with anger, inches from my head.

"I won't let you touch Eren!!"

I hit a tree before I managed to recover, but at least it stopped my flight. Getting the balls of my feet under me, I sprang away from the trunk just as a dagger embedded itself in the wood where my head had been.

"Who are you?" I shouted into the forest. "Show yourself!"

A shape melted from the canopy above me; a small girl, equipped with full 3D Maneuver Gear. Her clothes were tattered, the long red scarf she wore fluttering in the breeze as she watched me. Her eyes looked dangerous; feral.

"Are you friend or foe of humanity?" I demanded, echoing the wording I had heard Erwin use on several occasions; kept the titan, not a fifty yards from us, in the corner of my vision.

"Neither," she replied simply, and then glanced over to where the creature was standing. "But I will not allow you to harm Eren."

"'Eren?'" I echoed, my face twisting slightly as I realized what she was saying. "You can't be talking about that _titan_ , can you?"

The girl seemed to briefly realize how insane she sounded, but nodded anyway.

"Corporal!"

"Corporal, the titan-!!"

I spun to see both Petra and Gunther rushing toward me through the trees, having broken their formation when I had failed to reappear; the titan had turned, gaze fixed on the girl and I. I felt my brows arch slightly as I locked eyes with it; Aberrant or not, there was something very unusual about it.

Then, before I could entirely make sense of _that_ , something moved on the titan's head; a tiny blonde boy popped up from its virtual forest of hair, stretching up and straining forward to call, "Mikasa!! What's going on?!"

The girl, Mikasa, didn't take her eyes off of me, but shouted, "It's alright, Armin; go back home with Eren." I was more than a bit surprised when the _titan_ shook its head with an audible rumble, nearly jarring the blonde boy free. It began to come toward us, despite girl's alarmed cry of, "Eren, no! Stay back!!"

Suddenly, Eld and Aruou were there, soaring up over the treetops and aiming for the Aberrant's neck. I felt a flare of pride; they were doing exactly the right thing. However, in this particular case...

"Eld! Arouo! Stand down!!"

 _Again_ I was beyond proud as my two subordinates instantly broke off their attack, despite the confusion that was obvious on their faces. The titan, true to my predictions, spared them no more than a fleeting glance and warning growl, trotting until it came up beside the girl and I.

"Eren!" the girl said scoldingly, using her 3D Maneuver Gear to fly up, landing on its nose. The titan actually winced. "I told you to go back home! You almost got yourself killed!"

"But someone called off the attack, against his better judgment," I pointed out, fishing for a 'thank you' and getting roundly ignored.

"The bigger your head, the smaller your brain, I swear!" she continued to lecture the titan; a moment later that blonde boy reappeared, swinging down from the titan's huge, pointed ear. He also wore 3D Maneuver Gear, I could see, although it was missing its blades.

"We were worried about you, Mikasa!" he said, and the titan rumbled in apparent agreement. Their miniature squabble continued as Petra appeared beside me, her face pale with shock as she stared at the titan.

"Go fetch Hanji," I said before she had the opportunity to ask any questions, smirking slightly as I added, "She'll flay me alive if I let her miss this."

Nodding reluctantly, Petra flew off; the rest of my squad, at my signal, hung back, and I approached he strange trio alone.

"I'll repeat my question," I said loudly, catching all three of their attentions. "Are you friend or foe of humanity?"

"Considering we _are_ humans, I'd say friend," the blonde replied simply, and my eyebrows rose a fraction.

"And what about that?" I asked, nodding to the titan. The creature glowered at me, another surprise; in all my time killing titans, I had never seen one respond as if it really understood what I was saying.

" _Eren_ is human as well," the girl snapped, and I cocked my head.

"Oh? Sorry if I don't believe a word of that bullshit."

"She shouldn't expect you to," the blonde boy said, glancing meaningfully at his companion. "Come back to the Walls with us; we'll prove it."

"Armin!" the girl objected, and the boy gave her a baleful look.

"They're the Survey Corps, Mikasa," he pointed out reasonably. "It was only a matter of time before they stumbled upon Shiganshina. We may as well be upfront with them, to avoid misunderstandings."

My suspicions were confirmed- the two of them were Shiganshinan kids, although Fate knew how they were alive after all this time. They had likely scavenged the 3D Maneuver Gear off dead Garrison members, although the blades would have been harder to find. _And they must have taught themselves how to use it,_ I added. _They can't be more than 15 or 16, which would mean they were... 11 or 12 at the time of the Fall. Not quite old enough to be enrolled in military training programs._

The girl looked at me for a long moment; I stared back, intrigued but refusing to yield to her unusually strong will. At last she gave a sigh; nodded.

"Come on, then. We'll only take... two, though. You and someone else."

"Very well," I said, inclining my head slightly. The girl, Mikasa, knew the rules of the street- whichever gang was intruding on another's turf sacrificed the advantage of superior numbers. Refusing to comply would have been like announcing an invasion, something I wasn't ready to do.

"Uwwaaaaaah!!"

I winced at the over-enthusiastic shout; turned in time to see Hanji sailing toward us, with a concerned Moblit on her tail. Her second in command managed to catch up right before they reached us, crashing into her and sending them both careening into a tree.

"S-Squad Leader!! You mustn't rush into things!!"

I was relieved to see Erwin approaching more slowly, and ignored Hanji in favor of greeting my commander. "Erwin. I think you'll be very interested in this."

"As interested as Hanji seems to be?" he asked, peering first at the seemingly tame titan standing several yards from us, then at the practically convulsive Hanji and Moblit, who was still holding her back. I scowled.

"Yes, but hopefully in a less obnoxious way."

... ... ...

Hanji was more than a bit distressed when told that Erwin and I alone would accompany the children and titan back to the Walls of Shiganshina. But Erwin didn't cave to her tantrum, thank Fate, and soon we were on our way. Once out of the woods, the girl dropped down from her Maneuver Gear and mounted a waiting horse, a black stallion that she greeted warmly. There was also a spare horse, so I soon found myself seated, a bit disgruntled, in front of Erwin as we rode toward the district.

"We won't be entering the district itself," Mikasa explained calmly, as we rode. "I won't have that. However, we can talk on top of the Walls; it's certainly safer than down here."

"And if we decide to enter the district anyway?" I asked.

"Then I'll kill you," was her simple response.

I respected her spirit, but that didn't mean it didn't irritate me. So I scowled, unconvinced.

"I'd like to see you try."

"You're Levi, right?" she asked suddenly, and I nodded. "'Humanity's Strongest?' Eren is quite enamored with you, or at least he used to be."

"A titan enamored with a titan-slayer," I said, slightly amused despite myself. "Well isn't that a twist. I suppose the beast would be flattered if I was the one to kill it, then?"

Mikasa didn't reply, but I noted the shift in her aura- the dark protectiveness of it. It was obvious to me that she would do anything, withstand any torture or death for the sake of the titan she called Eren. And, although it confused me that the object of such feelings was a titan, I recognized the feelings themselves.

_She's part- if not leader -of a gang... someone who's lived on the streets and battled for daily survival. And she knows what it means to look after valued comrades._

We reached the Wall after a surprisingly short ride; the titan was still keeping pace with us, but pulled up alongside the Wall and rumbled questioningly. A moment later, the blonde boy joined us on the ground; the girl dismounted to greet him.

"Are you sure about this, Armin?" the girl questioned him, with a mistrustful glance at Erwin and I. "Having Eren reveal himself like this?"

"It's the only logical path," the blonde replied, seeming comparably at ease. "And the Survey Corps are trained to kill titans, not humans."

"We can if we need to, Mushroom Head," I felt the need to mutter, and the blonde turned to me.

"My name is Armin- Armin Arlert."

"Don't you dare show that sort of disrespect, Runt!!" the girl spat at me, seeming angrier at the nickname than the actual threat. My eyebrows arched.

"Fine, fine," I said, dismounting and glancing back at Erwin. He was letting me do the talking, I realized; analyzing the kids' reactions in silence. _Fine, Erwin... if that's how you want to play it, I'll go along._ "So what do you mean, 'reveal himself?'"

"Eren!" the Arlert boy called up suddenly, and the titan rumbled. "Go ahead and undo it!"

The titan nodded, then sat down abruptly with a _thud_ that nearly knocked me off balance. I didn't take my gaze off the creature as it began suddenly to twitch, eyes rolling back in its head and mouth opening slightly. Then it reached up with one hand; groped at the target on the back of its neck. I watched in amazement as its nails sunk into its own flesh, and it peeled back a layer of skin right over the vital point. There was a tremendous rush of steam, characteristic of any titan wound, and I noticed the blonde boy smiling approvingly.

"He's getting better at this," he commented to the girl, probably not for me to hear. "Last time he was spasming so hard that he shook me clean off."

"He's only been in titan form for an hour of so," the girl replied. "That probably has something to do with it."

My attention snapped back to the titan as I heard a faint coughing; it's arm went totally limp, revealing the smoking wound and... something... moving...? Straining forward, I confirmed that, yes, something was most certainly moving inside the exposed muscles of the titan's neck. And as I watched, aware of Erwin stiffening beside me, I saw a shape emerge- a distinctly _human_ shape. It ripped itself free of the steaming musculature, coughing slightly and then gasping, wriggling as it fought to tear away from the titan's flesh. The titan itself was beginning to dissipate, just like any other titan corpse.

"Mikasa!!" the boy, most likely called _Eren_ , shouted down. "M-my leg's really stuck! Give me a hand!"

Huffing softly, the girl motioned to Armin. "You go. I don't trust the runt down here alone."

The blonde boy nodded; took the sword that she handed him and shot up onto the quickly dissolving giant. He wasn't as adept at the 3D Maneuver Gear as the girl, but he managed, at least as well as most of the newer recruits could.

"Care to explain?" I asked Mikasa, and she glowered at me.

"Not particularly."

"I believe that young Armin will offer sufficient explanation when he returns," Erwin said diplomatically, one hand materializing on my shoulder. _Don't push it, Levi,_ his tone said, and I shook my head.

_Fine, Erwin. I trust your judgment._

A moment later, the two young boys joined us on the ground- the titan boy, I noted, also wore full 3D Maneuver Gear, although also without the blades. I peered at him curiously, and he stared back, his eyes swirling with something that made me uneasy. Unused to being unnerved by a scrawny brat, I shook my head slightly.

"Shall we go to the top of the Walls?" Armin suggested, and Mikasa nodded, with one more mistrustful look at me.

"If you're set on this idea, Armin. Of course."

"Levi?" Erwin asked, motioning for me to go first. Silently, I echoed the girl's statement.

_If you're set on this idea, Erwin._

The five of us ascended together, although I noticed that the two children- Mikasa and Eren -hemmed Erwin and I in casually, with Armin between and slightly behind them. They moved confidently, especially the girl; I knew that she was prepared to make good on her threat, if we attacked them or tried to enter the district. When we reached the top of the Wall, all three faced us, although again with Armin Arlert between and slightly behind his two companions.

Erwin was the first to sit, with a murmur to me to do the same. For a moment I resisted; it had been a long while since anyone had managed to put me so one edge, since my days on the street, certainly. Arlert sat next; motioned to his companions. Eventually I relented, and the titan boy followed suit. The girl, however, stayed standing; a blatant challenge. It was obvious that she was the most powerful of the group, although none of these feral children should be taken lightly.

"How many of your district are still alive?" Erwin queried; it was the blonde boy who replied.

"Three hundred and twenty one," he said, but then corrected himself. "No; only three-twenty. There was a death this morning."

"Do you have a leader?" I asked, already sensing the answer. "Any sort of organization?"

"Of course!" the other, brown-haired boy scoffed; the titan boy. "Without him, none of us would be alive!"

My eyebrows arched. "May we,.. speak to him?"

The titan boy drew breath to reply, but was cut off by the girl. "Perhaps," she said, her voice low, "but only after the three of _us_ decide we can trust you. We're in charge of screening potential threats, you see, and you haven't yet convinced us that you're harmless."

I furrowed my brow. "Listen, little girl," I said softly, dangerously, "you've done well to survive for this long. But it's time you let the adults handle things; if the Survey Corps is to organize an evacuation of Shiganshina, as I intend to see happens, I need to speak to the person in charge."

"Evacuation is an impossibility," the girl replied evenly. "I know that as well as you do. Don't try to bluff me, or Armin; it will only end with you dead."

I felt dark anger rising in me at the impudence of these children, especially the girl; Erwin's hand on my shoulder calmed me, though, and I sat back slightly as he edged forward.

"Mikasa; Eren; Armin; I can only imagine the types of trauma you people have gone through," he began, and I rolled my eyes. "We're here to help, in any way we can- please believe that."

The blonde boy actually scoffed. "We don't actually need your help," he said, looking a bit put-out; I felt a flicker of suspicion, a theory gaining strength in my mind. "We can support a slightly growing population through our farming, and you've seen the usefulness of Eren's Titan Powers when faced with unforeseen incidents. We don't need any outside help."

"But what sort of life will you have, confined to your tiny district?" Erwin pressed, and Mikasa cut in.

"Trust us, Commander- it is anything but boring."

Erwin sighed softly; it was my turn, again, and this time I stood to address the trio of scruffy teenagers before me. The girl glared, her eyes dark with danger, challenging me to take her on; the titan boy was looking at me with undisguised hostility, daring me to question him. But I was no fool.

"You, Mushroom Head," I said, pointing. "I can believe that these two survived in the hell your district must have become, but you? I don't buy it. They look like gangsters; you look more like the bookworm type." _A tactician,_ I added silently. _A strategist._ "These two must have protected you."

"They did," he replied, unflinchingly; my respect for him increased just a bit.

"But why?" I asked- rhetorically. "You must have had a use, despite being so frail." I saw the titan-boy, Eren, begin to object; cut him of with a glare and continued to address the blonde. "The strongest of friendships would crumble under such strain; there must have been a practical reason to keep you alive."

"You're right," the blonde conceded, and then the girl had placed herself bodily between us.

"Leave him alone, Runt," she growled, her hand on the hilt of one blade. "Enough questions."

"You're only digging yourself a deeper hole," I said matter-of-factly, eyes widening a fraction. "I'm not skeptical about the fact that he's your friend and you're very emotionally attached to him, but there's something far beyond that in your protectiveness of him. You move to shield him with your bodies automatically; you always keep him in the corner of your vision. Friends, but something far more serious.

"You're soldiers protecting your king."

I heard an approving murmur from Erwin, behind me; realized, with some mild annoyance, that he had already come to this conclusion a while ago. The girl flinched back; gulped; the titan boy shifted where he sat, bringing one hand up to his mouth for some reason I couldn't pinpoint. To their surprise- and mine, for that matter -the blonde boy stood, stepping in front of the girl.

"You wanted to talk to the person in charge? You have been, this whole time."

I narrowed my eyes. "I suspected as much." Then I shrugged, unconcerned with the latest development, and perhaps even glad of it. "I'm not surprised that a kid ended up in a position of power; you were smart enough to realize you needed to wait out the die-off, right?" He nodded. "And the fact that large gangs would never manage to hang on to their power?" Another nod. "Older people wouldn't be able to grasp either of those facts." Then I turned to the two others, who were watching me in bewilderment. "You did well to trust him; it's the reason you're alive, weird-ass titan powers be damned."

"We _know_ ," the girl retorted, sounding furious. But the titan-boy was watching me with wide eyes, a smile starting to break through as he sprang to his feet.

"Wow! I had heard that you were truly awesome, but man-! You live up to the legends, Corporal!"

"Corporal?'" I echoed distastefully. "What the hell, brat?"

"I've always wanted to join the Survey Corps!" he admitted in a rush. "Before this all happened, it was my dream!"

"Good for you," I said dismissively. I was actually unnerved by the sudden change in his demeanor; it had crossed my mind that anyone who could magically turn into a titan couldn't be entirely right in the head, and his sudden switch from hostility to mania seemed to be supporting that particular suspicion.

"Would you like to?"

I nearly choked on my tongue when I heard Erwin's question; eyes wide, I rounded on my superior.

"What are you thinking?!" I hissed, at exactly the same moment the titan boy, slightly behind me, exclaimed, "That would be amazing!!" Rounding on _him_ , I gave him a withering glare that didn't seem to work.

"Listen up, brat," I said, actively trying to sound terrifying- I had been told that I was terrifying even when I wasn't trying, so I hoped _trying_ would scare him shitless. "We can't enter your district without your permission, and you don't get to enter _my_ Survey Corps without mine."

The boy didn't flinch, only nodded. "I get that, Corporal," he said seriously, and I felt myself snap.

"I swear to god if you call me Corporal just one more-"

"Levi." Erwin's voice brought me back to my senses; I noticed immediately that the girl had both of her blades out, and shot her a glare before turning to my Commander. He looked painfully disapproving, and I felt shamed irritation lance through me.

"Erwin, you can't be serious," I said, forcing my tone to be more reasonable. "We don't know a damn thing about them."

My commander smiled slightly- soothingly. "No more than I knew about you." I felt myself soften, despite the situation. "Do you trust me, Levi?"

"..." Glowering, disgruntled, I glanced at the three children behind me. "... Unconditionally."

"Excellent." Beaming, Erwin set his hand on my shoulder as he came up beside me, addressing the three children. "Then I hereby extend an invitation to all three of you to join the Military, if you wish."

The titan boy's response was instantaneous; the girl, Mikasa, was quick to follow with some sentimental gibberish about how she would go wherever Eren did. The blonde boy responded slower, although I got the impression that there was never a question in his mind, and eventually he too accepted Erwin's generous offer. My commander looked all-too-pleased with himself, and I scowled up at him to try to convey my displeasure. _You and your insane recruitment drives..._

"The 104th Training Division is scheduled to have their final exam a week from now," he informed the children. "I'd consider the life you've led sufficient training, titan powers aside; if you can pass the exam, I'll convince the brass to let you skip the typical three years of schooling. The only condition is that you promise to join the Survey Corps upon graduation."

I forced myself to bite my tongue, hard enough to draw blood; Erwin was making things far too easy for them. I would be the first to admit that very few people in the Survey Corps were entirely right in the head- including myself -but I had severe reservations about these kids. All three of them were feral; unpredictable; wild. They had undoubtedly had to do many terrible things to stay alive, and it had left scars on them- just as such things had left scars on me. I knew how powerful memories like those could be; how they could easily swallow you up and rot your very humanity from the inside out.

Titan powers be damned, the Eren boy had seen a lot of death- and brought a lot of it about. I could see the bloodlust etched in his face; in his smile. The girl was unerringly loyal to him- to a flaw. And she appeared to be able to match- or nearly match -my own 3D Maneuver Gear skill already. Anyone that talented should be handled with care; anyone that loyal to a madman was more dangerous than the madman himself.

The blonde boy, Armin Arlert, I admittedly liked the look of. I though it was because he reminded me of Erwin; his mind was sharp and clear, far clearer than that of the other two, and he seemed capable. However, he seemed all-too adept at the art of deception, of manipulation, and I could see his flexible morals reflected in his eyes. Additionally, he wasn't cut out for the military- life as a tactician or scholar would suit him far better, and make better use of his talents.

And then, as if it were possible for there to be even more wrong with the situation, there was the simple fact that Eren could transform himself into a 15 meter titan. According to Arlert, who seemed to have no compelling reason to lie (in this case, at least), it had been over a year since the last time Eren had lost control of himself. However, no matter what sort of tactical _dream_ this might seem to offer, having a titan on our side, not a thing was known about him... except that he may or may not be more than just slightly off his proverbial rocker.

But Erwin's decision was final. I _did_ trust my Commander unconditionally, as many reservations as I had. And victory was impossible without taking calculated risks- that was a fact just like any other. So I sighed; rose; addressed the children.

"Your district will provide shelter for the Survey Corps tonight. We'll set out for home tomorrow morning at dawn. Be ready then if you haven't changed your minds."

... ... ...

The accommodations that Shiganshina had to offer were surprisingly good; it was painfully obvious that the district had been through all manners of hell, but there was a functional inn (although I didn't imagine they got many visitors; the Arlert boy had probably had it prepared it for just such an occasion, as he had already stated that he had been expecting the Survey Corps to show up at some point or other) and we several dozen soldiers were presented with a shockingly decent supper. The people of Shiganshina, too, seemed wary but friendly enough... at least _after_ Arlert had told them the we were honored guests.

I didn't sleep well- I didn't really try, to be honest. I curled up against Erwin's back, unwilling to sleep alone _or_ to let him; I didn't trust our surroundings. I could hear people moving about outside; I could hear arguments. The Arlert boy was preparing for their departure; as ruler of the district, effectively King of his own private domain, he had a lot of loose ends to tie up. I hadn't given them much time to prepare; I knew that Erwin would want to get back to the main Walls as soon as possible, to give them at least a couple of days to prepare for the exam.

When morning came, I rose and stretched; told Erwin that yes, I had managed to sleep (although he knew it was a lie), and then made my way downstairs. All of us ate a hearty breakfast- the three children included, although Arlert didn't actually eat, much too busy making some final arrangements -and then set off. The district bid us a warm and sorrowful farewell; Armin seemed the most reluctant to leave, and the people reluctant to let him. But the district was functioning just as any other district; able to support itself.

"Why are you prepared to leave so easily?" I asked the blonde suddenly, as we were saddling our horses; the district had also provided us with new mounts. "You've rebuilt this district from the ground up; you have more power and influence than most men could dream of, and you seem to genuinely care about the people you rule. Why leave?"

I saw him pause, thinking; formulating his response before he spoke. "For one thing..." he said, slowly, "I don't actually care all that much; its a bit of an act. Helping the district as a whole benefits my close friends and I. I'm not some saint who saves lives for the sake of saving them." I shivered slightly at his detached tone; knew he was telling me the truth. "For another, I never liked being trapped within the Walls; I didn't like it before the Fall of Maria. I always wanted to see the world, with Eren and with Mikasa. Would someone tied to a throne be able to do that?"

"I suppose not," I admitted. "Then why go to such pains to make sure that Shiganshina survives, even after you're gone? Hasn't it served its purpose?"

And his reply, with a deceptively innocent smile, was, "Always have a back up plan."

Feeling slightly awed and more than a bit unnerved, I swung up onto my mount, deciding that the blonde boy could very well be the most terrifying of them all. Then we were off, galloping through the gates and back out into titan territory, the three children riding beside me. Hanji gave a whoop, as she often did, spurring her horse until she could pull up beside Eren.

"Hey, Eren!" she called, practically drooling; she had been trying to get close to the titan boy all evening and all night, and I growled with annoyance that she had finally managed it. "How do you turn into a titan? What caused it to begin with? Were you born with the power?!"

"Well, I think my dad gave them to me," the boy replied, and my ears perked. "He injected me with something... and then Mikasa and Armin say I went on a rampage and ate him shortly after that. That was the first time I transformed."

 _Ate him,_ I acknowledged grimly. _So he_ has _eaten people... his own father, no less._

The significance of this fact seemed lost on Hanji, as her face lit up and she gave an enthusiastic, "Oooh!!" Before she could ask another question, though, Mikasa had inserted herself between them.

"Eren won't be answering any more of your questions," she growled, one hand on her blades. I rolled my eyes, easing my own horse closer to the scene.

"Stop it, all of you," I growled. "You, girl; you're only here because Erwin thinks you can handle it, so don't think you can order anyone around. And Hanji, you indiscreet bitch, hold off on your obnoxious questions until we're safely home. Don't answer her," I added to Eren, who nodded seriously.

"Yes, Corporal!"

"Stop it, Eren," Armin spoke up tiredly, guiding his horse up to our little clump. "Don't go overboard with this whole ‘Corporal’ business." His voice held a warning; he clearly didn't want Eren's loyalty drifting to me... or drifting _away_ from him, I realized.

The titan boy shifted uneasily, nodding. "Of course not, Armin," he murmured, although his eyes were still on me. I wondered why his fixation was so sudden and so powerful; Mikasa had said that he had always admired me... Giving myself a brief shake, I shoved the speculation from my mind.

"Break it up," came Erwin's stern order, although he didn't turn from the head of the formation. "Stop gossiping like old women and stay alert."

Irritated that I had been sucked into the little huddle to begin with, I urged my horse forward until I was riding beside Erwin. He glanced over at me- somewhat disapproving.

"Aren't you supposed to be keeping an eye on the Shiganshinan kids?"

"I can't put up with them for another minute," I grumbled, staring straight ahead.

"Levi..."

"Don't 'Levi' me!" I snapped, glaring over at him. "This was your idea- they aren't my responsibility to... to babysit!"

Erwin's eyes softened; I groaned, anticipating what was coming. "Do you trust me?"

"Unconditionally, you bastard."

"Keep an eye on the kids for me, Levi."

Muttering angrily, I let myself drop back, once again falling into a steady gallop between the girl, Mikasa, and Eren. Arlert and Hanji had fallen in beside one another, as well- talking in hushed tones that would have made me worry if I had given half a shit at that point.

"Get away from me, Runt."

Turning baleful eyes on the girl, I grimaced. "I wouldn't be anywhere near you, if I had a choice in the matter. You'd still be back in Shiganshina if I had a choice in the matter."

"Then you'd be dead, Corporal!"

I looked over in surprise at the titan boy; he was smiling, his gaze still glowing adoringly... but glinting with something else entirely, a hard-edged madness that was all but masked by his casual tone and posture.

I forced my body not to shiver. "Oh? How do you figure, brat?"

"Armin said that if-" he began cheerfully, but a loud hiss from the girl cut him off.

"Eren!!"

"What?" the boy asked, peering around me at his friend. "They should know that-"

"Eren!!" the girl hissed again, her eyes dark. "They most certainly do _not_ need to know certain things!"

Eren's eyes narrowed slightly, but he nodded. "Alright. I don't think Corporal takes us very seriously right now, though," he added, flashing me a smile. This time I couldn't stop the shudder from racing up my spine, setting my fingers twitching around the horse's bridal.

"Oh, I take you brats deadly seriously," I assured him, succeeding in keeping my voice steady despite the unease roiling like nausea through my body. _Erwin, what were you thinking...? You're right, there_ are _similarities between these kids and how I used to be... I can feel the darkness in them as clear as you can see the potential...! I trust you, but you should also trust me, damn it...!_

That made the boy's smile widen; unnaturally, gruesomely. "I'm glad to hear that, Corporal!"

... ... ...

I tried to avoid conversing with the children as much as possible; we were making good time, considering, and had managed to avoid any major titan encounters. I was relieved to think that we would be back within the Walls, Fate willing, by early the next morning.

We stopped a bit after midday; set up a temporary camp and ate, our dry rations supplemented with fruits and meat from Shiganshina. The three kids huddled together automatically, although the Arlert boy seemed intent upon weaving his way through the whole of the company; the other two stuck to him like glue, although he shot them baleful glances whenever they- usually the titan boy -scared off whoever he was trying to talk to. I settled myself on a tree trunk, nibbling at some bread and sipping my tea, to watch them. I didn't like them moving among _my_ men, but Erwin knew what he was doing by allowing it... probably.

A sudden shot rang out, a red smoke round going up at the edge of our encampment. Leaping to my feet, I saw Mike racing back toward us, smoking gun in hand.

"A whole group of titans, coming from the North," he reported, as Erwin came up beside me. Hanji gave a whoop of excitement, but I ignored her; my eyes were on the three children, wondering how they would react. Erwin's thoughts were turned to the same subject, I could tell, as we made for our horses.

"All units, prepare for combat!" he called, swinging up onto his mount. I noted with interest that Arlert was no longer riding alone; he had climbed onto Eren's horse.

And then, before any of us had anticipated, they burst from the trees.

There was a chorus of screams from those closest to the tree line; some soldiers hadn't even managed to get onto their horses yet. I felt the animal beneath me buck in surprise, and clung tightly to its reigns to keep from being thrown off.

"Eld! Aruou! Petra! Gunther!" I shouted, grabbing for my Maneuver Gear's triggers. "Format-!"

Before I could even get the order out, there was a tremendous explosion just behind me, the force of which was sufficient to topple my horse and pitch me forward. I flipped, recovering mid-air and landing on my feet, but was momentarily deafened by the roar that split the air. A 15 meter titan came barreling out from the smoke, each step making the earth shake beneath my feet. The chaos intensified exponentially; rumors had spread, of course, but only a fraction of us had actually seen the so-called Rogue Titan, the boy Eren.

Hanji's cheer was even louder than the titan's roar.

"Get down, get down _everyone_!!" Erwin bellowed, and for once I didn't even think of obeying; the order probably didn't extend to me, regardless. Shooting out my cables, I took off after the huge beast, watching in grim apprehension as he charged straight through the ranks of Survey Corps, narrowly missing several fleeing soldiers.

"Don't get in our way!"

I was unsurprised to hear Mikasa's voice as she flew up beside me; glowered in her general direction.

"Tell your pet titan to watch where he's stepping," I growled. "If he squishes _one_ of my men, I'll cut him right out of that titan body and flay him alive."

The girl drew back her lip, but didn't reply; Eren had made contact with the first of the titans, and Mikasa and I split up to hunt our own targets. Again and again I sliced through soft flesh, my movements controlled and precise; I kept an eye on Mikasa, and acknowledged with some concern that her kill total was nearly equal to mine.

Eren, of course, was doing just as well as either of us in that regard. It was quite the sight, watching him fight; watching him tear the other titans limb-from-limb, his own wounds smoking as he sunk teeth and nails into victim after victim. After each kill he would give a bone-shattering roar before charging at the next, his eyes wild and swirling with mad bloodlust- not all that differently from that of common titans.

Within a minute, between the three of us, a dozen or so titans lay in smoking heaps on the ground. Mikasa landed on Eren's shoulder; the titan was trembling and breathing hard, both his hands steaming furiously as they regenerated. His eyes were rolling slightly back in his head, and I braced myself; prepared to attack, should he lose control of himself.

But, after a moment, he simply collapsed; sat down heavily, jarring Armin, who, as it turned out, had been riding on his head the whole time. Then he turned to me; in those glowing green eyes, I saw a monster- a bridled monster, straining against the feeble human holding it under control.

And, for the first time in years, I felt honest, gut-wrenching fear.

"Levi."

Erwin landed beside me, and I was careful not to let the terror bleed through; he didn't seem to notice. I shook my head slowly, turning.

"Tell the brat to get the fuck out of that form," I growled. "I'll deal with the men."

"No, Levi," my commander said sternly, and I nearly snarled in frustration. "You tend to the kids; I'll reassemble the formation."

"Why?" I asked, my voice beginning to crack, despite my best efforts; I glanced furtively at the Shiganshina brats, making sure that they were out of earshot. "Erwin _why_ are you making _me_ responsible for them?! I don't even think they should be here! It's only a matter of time before the titan and the girl turn on us- either that or the Arlert brat ignites some fucking coup d'état!"

"Levi, I agree with you," my commander said, much to my surprise. "And that's why I can only trust you to look after them. So look after the kids for me, Levi."

Closing my eyes briefly, I rubbed at my forehead. "Fine, Erwin, fine. Just answer me this, then: why, if you see the risk so clearly, do you think this whole mess is worth it?"

"Since when do you question me, Levi?" my commander asked mildly- somewhat amused, or so it sounded.

"When I think you're making a mistake."

"Oh? And since when do you think I make mistakes?"

"When you're blinded by your damn insane recruiting methods!" I retorted.

"Like when I offered you-"

"I _fucking_ know how I came into the _fucking_ Survey Corps, I know!" I snapped, then took a deep breath. "I see the similarities, Erwin, I do, but..."

"Trust me, Levi," my commander said simply, and I felt my anger deflate. "I think it's worth the risk because we're fighting a losing war; we can't afford to be careful, not at this point."

"... I understand, Erwin."

"So you'll keep an eye on them?"

I sighed; turned. "Of course. But if things get out of hand, I _will_ kill them, I hope you know."

"I'd expect no less, Levi."


	5. The Children of the 104th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry that this took so long! D: I won't even bother with the excuses/reasons, just get on with the new chapter. "orz 
> 
> I really enjoyed writing from this dude's POV~ I wanted to explore the trio's changes in personality and dynamics more, while allowing a bit more tension to build with the whole Armin/RBA dynamic still being a mystery. This chapter is affectionately entitled "Observations of a Horse's Ass" in my notes and on my phone. x'D 
> 
> ... I suppose I should start warning for manga spoilers right about now. So... MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

The three kids that Erwin had brought in were trouble- I could tell.

And not the fun kind of trouble. I could tell.

They stalked through the mass hall as though they owned the place; I watched the three of them closely, glowering from behind a mug of whatever muddy water they were serving that particular day.

"They look like they could tell some stories," Marco remarked, and I grunted noncommittally.

"I don't like the look of 'em..."

And I didn't- there was something off about them, especially that Eren kid. The girl- Mikasa, was it? -was admittedly pretty, but she looked as though she would rip out the throat of the first guy who said as much. And the puny little blonde looked as if he belonged in an orphanage, not the army.

They collected their food from the recruits on kitchen duty; I saw the blonde pause, say a few words to the female trainee serving up the food; hunch his shoulders. I wondered briefly if he was really that pathetic or if it was just a ploy to get more food- which he did, much to my annoyance.

"Look at the little shrimp!" I huffed, nudging Marco roughly, causing him to spill his soup but not particularly caring. "Playing people so shamelessly like that!"

"You would too, if you could pull it off," my friend pointed out dryly, and I scoffed.

"I would _not_ sacrifice my pride like that!" I retorted, watching as the blonde gathered up all three of their rations and then redivided them; I noted with admitted interest that he gave his two companions more than himself, despite the fact that he had been the one to pause and beg for extra food.

"Of course you wouldn't," Marco murmured, sounding a bit cross as he wrung soup from his shirt. "Your pride is the most important thing in the world to you."

"Damn right it is," I muttered, taking a moody sip of my drink; grimacing at the taste. The three newest recruits seemed unfazed by it, drinking quickly and wolfing their food like a trio of starving stray dogs. I continued to watch as the blonde ruffled his hair; dragged his own nails across his cheek, leaving four bright red scratches. I had guessed his plan even before he slunk back up to the kitchen's window, fat crocodile tears gathering in his wide blue eyes and beginning to spill down his thin cheeks.

The three girls in charge of cooking duty practically melted; I watched in disgust as they scrambled, falling over themselves to fetch more food for the poor little stray newbie who had come begging so pitifully to them. He practically wept his gratitude, so pathetic that I nearly gagged; some of the other recruits had begun to watch this strange spectacle, although their eyes glinted with something resembling admiration. The blonde soon returned to his two friends, arms filled with extra bread and soup and porridge. Again he divided it; again gave himself the smallest share.

"I wonder why he keeps doing that," Marco mused, from where he sat beside me. "The other two look okay, but he looks like he's starving to death."

"Makes his pitiful little act more believable," I muttered crossly, and received a glare from my friend. "What?"

"I think he cares about his friends," Marco said, a bit caustically, "enough to swallow his pride _and_ go hungry."

"Oh, how admirable!" I retorted sarcastically, shoving the rest of my food over to him. "Here, have the rest of my supper, Marco! I have been moved by his noble example!" Knowing that I wasn't serious, my friend took the opportunity to snatch up my bread and cram it into his mouth. With a cry of alarm, I snatched back the rest of my soup. "You...!!"

My friend smiled. "Moved by his noble example, were you?"

"Shut up!" I snapped. "He's... stupid!"

"Intelligent insult," Marco complimented me dryly, and I huffed.

"Shut up," I muttered, hiding my face behind my cup and resuming my inspection of the three new recruits. They had already devoured their seconds- miraculously without choking -and were now crouched over their table, deep in conversation. Intermittently one of them- they took turns -would poke their head up from the huddle and look around, apparently guarding against eavesdroppers. But I was too far away to listen in, and so sufficiently far away to escape their notice.

Suddenly, Connie approached their table; I wondered what on earth he was thinking, going anywhere near those three. By the time he came within five yards of them, all three had fallen silent; were staring at him as he approached. He spoke first; the blonde answered. Smiling slightly, Connie said something else; the blonde returned the smile, sliding over and motioning for my teammate to sit beside him.

"See?" Marco asked. "Connie's managed to make friends already. I think we should go over and introduce our-"

There was a sudden clatter, and the ragged brunette- Eren was his name, I reminded myself -had all but thrown himself across the table at Connie; the girl grabbed the back of his shirt just in time to stop his swiping fingers from connecting, and Connie jerked back. The blonde boy covered his eyes with one hand; turned to a flustered Connie and seemed to apologize before chastising his friend, who was still struggling slightly against the girl's grip.

"Scum...!" The boy's snarled insult was loud enough for me to make out; Connie flinched back, getting up with a hurried apology to the blonde boy, who simply smiled tiredly. Then he rounded on his companion, the Eren boy, his brow creased as he spoke in a comparably loud, scolding tone.

"Still think we should go introduce ourselves?" I asked Marco sarcastically, and was duly surprised when he nodded determinedly, grabbing my wrist and getting up.

"Yes."

"Are you out of your mind?" I growled, jerking my hand away. Marco shot me a baleful glance, and I found myself following him reluctantly across the mess hall, reasoning that he'd get himself killed by the little beasties if I didn't go with him.

"Hello!" he said warmly, when we were within earshot. The blonde boy stood to greet us. Up close, I was forced to reassess- he wasn't at all pathetic, not when he wasn't trying, but rather terrifying in his presence. Back straight, eyes glinting, he looked as if he thought himself King of the Universe; I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up with that title some day. "Welcome! I'm Marco Bodt, and this is Jean Kirstien."

"Pleasure to meet you," the blonde said, offering his hand; Marco took it. "I'm Armin Arlert; these are my friends, Eren and Mikasa. I apologize for Eren's behavior in advance; all of us are a bit on edge, being around this many people."

"Well, that's entirely understandable," Marco said. "I heard you three are from Shiganshina? I thought that everyone from that district had died long ago, around the time of the breach."

"Well, not all of us," Armin answered good-naturedly. "A bit damaged, perhaps, but not dead."

"A bit fucked in the head, you mean," I muttered, and instantly regretted it; not only did Marco shoot me a disapproving look, but the Eren kid was on his feet, eyes blazing.

"Say that again, Horse-Face," he snarled, face twisting into an unnatural expression.

"Not a chance," I said, raising my hands. "I value my life."

"Eren..." Armin said, his tone scolding; the brunette gave him a sore look, but backed off slightly. I suddenly had the image of a huge, rabid dog, with this tiny blonde boy holding its leash.

"And now it's _my_ turn to apologize for _my_ friend," Marco said dryly, and I squeaked with indignation. Armin smiled indulgently.

"At least your friend doesn't rip people's throats out at the drop of a hat," he said, smiling benignly. He began to laugh, then, good-naturedly, and Marco, much to my horror, joined in.

"H-Hey! What the hell is wrong with you? Both of you?! There is nothing even remotely funny about that! Stop laughing! O-Oi, Marco...!"

... ... ...

"Eren Jaeger, sir!" the brunette introduced himself crisply, saluting. "From Shiganshina!"

"Eren Jaeger..." Shadis repeated, eyes narrowing. "A fine salute for such a filthy little stray dog."

"It's been my dream to join the military, ever since I was a child!" the boy declared, seeming to swell with pride. Somehow, I doubted that that meant he wanted to help the cause of humanity. He looked, if the truth was to be told, more animal than human, with a lean hunger to his face and a tattered, wild look about him. I was even more unnerved by him now than I had been in the mess hall; we all were, but too well-conditioned to show it.

"Mikasa Ackerman," the girl introduced herself, her salute considerably more hesitant; her hand flexed against her chest, as if it were a struggle to keep it there. "Shiganshina district."

"Ackerman!" Shadis yelled, but the girl didn't flinch; her eyes, in fact, narrowed.

"Sir."

"I don't like the look of you," our drill Sargent declared. "A rabble-rouser if I've ever seen one. And why are you here, Miss Ackerman?!"

The girl stared back at him, bold and unrepentant. "Because Eren is here. I care little for the state of this war, one way or another."

I don't think Shadis actually knew how to react to that one.

"Armin Arlert," the third, the blonde, introduced himself, without saluting; his arms were crossed behind his back. "From Shiganshina also."

"Arlert!!" Shadis roared, already irritated with the little trio and more than prepared to take it out on their third, seemingly frail member. "Always salute when addressing a superior officer, you disrespectful little swine!!"

The blonde actually _smirked_ ; rocked back on his heels. He watched Shadis for a long moment, as the drill Sargent grew more and more furious; drew back his arm. At last the blonde sighed, placing his hand over his heart casually.

"Is this what you want?" he asked, somewhat petulantly, and then barked mockingly, "Sir, I give my beating heart to the cause! With my last breath I aim to aid in victory against the Titans! I'm here to sacrifice myself for the good of humanity!"

Shadis was boiling; all of us took a step back, unsure of what he was about to do to the poor, insane waif standing before him, whose expression had melted back into that derisive little smile.

But then, instantaneously, the other two children were standing between them. Unbelievably, _Shadis_ actually took a reflexive step backwards, much to the shock of those of us who had spent the past three years cowering before _him_.

"You see," Armin Arlert sighed tiredly, letting his hand fall to his side, "none of us are actually here for the sake of humanity or this idiotic war. Eren may enjoy playing soldier, but ask him his opinion of the human race in general; if he doesn't rip your throat out, you'll be treated to quite a diatribe.

"As for me, I'm here because it suits me. If you have any questions regarding that, I suggest you take it up with Commander Erwin."

And then he turned, eyes skimming the crowd and settling somewhere behind me. I didn't dare turn to see who he was looking at; who he had been performing for. And then he simply melted back into the ranks of trainees, the other two following him docilely.

The 104th Training Corps was dismissed without further ado.

... ... ...

Because of Arlert's little show, we all ended up with an unscheduled holiday; I suspected Shadis was tearing off to take up the subject of the three newest recruits with Commander Smith or someone above him. I wasn't about to complain because of a free day off from training, though, regardless of the reason.

The majority of us were in the mess hall- Marco, Connie, Sasha, Millus, Mina, Annie, Ymir, Krista, Thomas, Bertholdt and Reiner -just kicking back and talking; we didn't get enough of a chance to relax most days. All of us were more or less steering clear of the _reason_ we had the day off... until Annie, of all people, broached the subject.

"What did you think of that little blonde this morning?"

"I think it was absolutely suicidal and moronic!" I scoffed immediately, and Marco, on my right, shot me a glance.

"I think it must be hard for them to adjust, after what they've been through," he said, more reasonably; I huffed. "Their lashing out is entirely understandable."

"I-I agree..." Krista said softly. "They've... been through hell. That must have warped them all in some way."

"Well I certainly don't like it," Thomas put in. "That kind of disrespect is completely inexcusable!"

"I agree," Mina said, with a glance at Annie.

"He was putting on a show," Reiner, sitting on my other side, grunted. "It was damn distasteful."

"D-Depending upon who he was putting the show on for," Bertholdt, next to him, added.

"If you're a moron, it doesn't matter who you're being a moron for," I grumbled, taking a swig of the muddy-water drink we were given. "You're still a moron."

"Armin Arlert is anything but a moron," Annie said softly, surprising me.

"I think all of 'em aren't quite right in the head," Connie put in. "Jaeger is obviously unstable, but Arlert is downright mad."

"I don't know about mad," Sasha disagreed. "He seems to know what he's doing, for better or worse."

I shifted uneasily as Bertholdt asked, unsteadily, "A-And... what _is_ he doing?"

"Just stirring up trouble," Ymir growled, sounding genuinely annoyed. "It's not as if the brat-"

The door opened, just then; Ymir stopped talking, and all of us turned to see the blonde in question enter the room, surprisingly enough without his two companions. I had never seen the three of them apart, so I was rightfully nervous as he made his way over to the table we were all clustered at.

"What are you guys talking about?" he asked, with a benign smile as he came up just behind Annie, resting his hands on the back of her chair. Reiner, across the table, bristled visibly.

"You, you little smart-ass," Ymir said unflinchingly, and Armin's smile widened slightly.

"All good, I hope."

"Oh, of _course_ ," I scoffed, feeling emboldened by the fact that Jaeger was nowhere to be seen. " _All_ good." Marco elbowed me.

"We were just... all a bit unnerved by how you spoke of Shadis this morning," my freckled friend said, and I shot him a glare. "That's all."

"He _is_ in charge here, you know," Connie put in. "I-I don't know how things have been run in Shiganshina since... well, since you know, but Shadis is the authority here."

Armin's smile didn't falter. "I have a few issues with authority," he said simply, as if we couldn't all have guessed that much. "And since you certainly don't know how things were run in Shiganshina, you can't possibly comprehend why."

"Why don't you enlighten us, you uppity little shit?" Ymir spat, and I felt Reiner's chair move backwards slightly as he shifted.

Armin's eyes narrowed slightly, although his smile remained. "My pleasure... Ymir, was it?"

She nodded.

" _I_ ran things in Shiganshina," Armin Arlert informed us; I saw Annie stiffen, although she didn't turn to look at him. "There was no higher authority. So I'm not used to taking orders, much less from obnoxious military men."

I felt my stomach flip; that certainly explained why he carried himself with such a self-entitled air, and why his two friends were so protective of him. But I still wasn't sure I bought such a fantastical statement- this tiny boy, running a district that had most certainly fallen to chaos when Wall Maria was breached? He seemed well beyond his years, but so much so?

"I don't believe that," Reiner growled. "How could a disrespectful little whelp like you run a district?"

"Because there was no one better suited to the task," was his simple reply. 

"But how?" Mina asked, a bit breathless; she, beside Annie, had twisted around so that she could stare up at the blonde boy. "It must have been chaos!"

And to that Armin Arlert only smiled pleasantly; clicked his tongue. "That is a trade secret I cannot disclose... at this time. You'll all find out sooner or later, I suspect; some of you, in fact... already know." I saw Annie's eyes close; wondered if she had any clue as to what this crazy little kid was talking about. But before we could ask any more questions, Armin was walking away, back toward the door and undoubtedly to rejoin his friends.

"That guy is fucking terrifying," Connie said, as soon as Arlert had left.

"A hunter," Sasha agreed. "A-And we're the pray."

"'We?!'" Millus demanded. "Why us?! We've only just met him!"

"Does anyone have any idea what he meant, that some of us already know?" Marco, always the voice of reason, asked. None of us responded; all of us, I suspected, were either in the same confused boat... or had good reason not to come clean, although I couldn't begin to theorize what that reason was.

" _I_ know the kid's got a few screws lose," Ymir muttered, settling back in her chair and pulling a protesting Krista partially into her lap. "Better to just ignore him."

"Well we can't do _that_!" Connie burst out. "H-He's part of our _class_ now! I-If things keep on as they are, we'll have to fight with him some day!"

"How can you trust someone like that?" Mina asked pleadingly. "He won't follow orders on the battlefield, just like he doesn't follow them here!"

"And," I put in, "all three of them'll turn on us if they think the other two are being threatened. We could be watching for Titans and get a knife in the back."

"I don't think Armin would go that far," Marco put in. "Eren, maybe, but only if you threaten his friends. And I don't see how wanting to defend those you love can be a bad thing."

"When you're inventing enemies out of allies," I retorted. "We're all supposed to be on the same damn side!"

"And we are," Reiner said, somewhat soothingly. "Those three are the only ones that aren't."

"But I'm telling you, they are! They'll have to be, when we start fighting the Titans!" Thomas objected. "That's the problem!"

"Unless they've sided with the Titans," Connie scoffed, "to wipe out the rest of humanity."

"I-I-Is that even p-possible?!" Bertholdt asked worriedly, and I laughed softly.

"Stop it, Connie. You're scaring the girls... and Bertholdt." Marco shoved me again, and I shoved him back.

"Seriously, though... that can't be, can it? Titans aren't sentient, right?" Sasha asked worriedly, and all of us fell unexpectedly silent. Eventually, it was Annie who answered.

"That's impossible. Humans and Titans don't mix, and we all know it. Your imaginations are just getting the better of you."

... ... ...

When the next day arrived, Shadis didn't say a word about the new recruits; it was obvious that some upper-echelon authority had told him to leave the issue alone. So training went on as if it hasn't been interrupted, and we all took to the trees.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting from the Shiganshina kids, but I was certainly surprised. Mikasa was so far past "good" that it was almost incomprehensible; Eren was on my level, and I found myself aiming for the same target as him a bit too often for comfort. Half the time he would beat me to it; half the time, I would come out on top.

"Missed, Horse-Face!"

"Oh, and I know you _meant_ to run into that tree, Jaeger!"

He grinned at me; stuck out his tongue. I sneered back.

As much as he unnerved me, I kind of enjoyed having someone to compete with.

I think we had all been looking forward to seeing Armin Arlert's skill... but he didn't grace us with another performance. Shortly after Shadis left, he simply found himself a tree to perch in and observed _us_. He looked like a tiny elf, legs crossed on a branch that seemed far too thin to support even his fragile build. Then he would up and vanish; reappear, moments later, several trees over, or stay hidden for the next ten minutes before melting out of the canopy to peer down at one of us. It was unnerving as all holy hell, and there wasn't a thing any of us could do about it (other than Ymir's occasionally shouted curses).

The afternoon's classroom hours went similarly; the three Shiganshina kids sat in the back of the room, attentive but nonchalant. I didn't actually watch then too closely, though; _I_ was actually more concerned with cramming for our stupid written exam.

Somehow, I knew that the Shiganshina kids wouldn't have much of a problem passing.

By the time the day ended, I was suitably tired; looking forward to crawling into my bunk and getting a solid seven or eight hours. I was, in fact, the first one back to the barracks, in hopes that I could be convincingly asleep by the time Marco turned up and wanted to study for the upcoming final. I slipped my shirt off over me head, taking a moment to stretch my aching back.

That was when I felt the tap on the nape of my neck.

Yelping with surprise, I jumped back; was more than a little alarmed to find Armin Arlert peering down from my bunk. He lay on his stomach, arms dangling and legs up over his back, one hand outstretched slightly as he watched me.

"Wh-wha-what the fucking hell, man?!" I demanded, covering my chest self-consciously and making a grab for my discarded shirt. Armin retracted his hand; tucked his arms up and rested his chin on them.

"Nothing. I just wanted to ask you a question."

Still shivering violently and wriggling back into my shirt- it was backwards, I realized, but that was of little concern at the moment -I shook my head disbelievingly. "A-A question?! Holy shit, man! Do you scare the living fuck out of people every time you want to ask them a question?!"

The blonde smiled slightly. "If I want an honest answer."

I shook my head again, more violently. "Nuts...! You're fucking insane...!!"

The Shiganshina boy chuckled. "Well? Will you answer a question for me, Jean?"

"Try me," I muttered. "See if I'll play along after that, you little shit."

"If you had to choose between obeying me and Marco being turned into a Titan, which would you choose?"

I froze; for a moment, I didn't think I'd heard him right. Looking up slowly, I saw that his smile was gone; he was watching me with a piercing blue gaze that I was certain could see into my very soul, although I couldn't read even the most basic of intentions in his disconcerting gaze.

"E-Excuse me?"

"If you had to choose," he repeated slowly, deadpan, "between obeying me and Marco being turned into a Titan, which would you choose?"

A shiver wracked my body, eyes widening uncontrollably as I stared back at him; he never flinched, never wavered, simply waited for an answer.

"... You're serious."

And then, only then, did his smile reappear- slightly, faintly. "Deadly serious, Jean."

"... I'd follow you."

"Excellent answer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update will be super quick, so keep your eyes peeled for it~! Until then, comments and kudos absolutely make my day. <3 One of my favorite things right now is hearing you guys' theories about this fic... so if you've got any, toss 'em my way!


	6. The Blind Boy's Keeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely one of my favorite chapters, and possibly one of the most important chapters in the whole fic. It was probably reworked about a dozen times before I was pleased with it. 
> 
> ... AruAni is my ultimate SnK OTP, by the way. However, I tried desperately to keep this fanfic gen. What resulted from this dilemma was a whole crapton of what I've dubbed UAA, or Unresolved AruAni. Fair warning. 
> 
> That said, please enjoy chapter 6 of The Lost and the Caged! <3

I stopped running once I reached the Forest of 100 Year Old Trees, my whole body shivering with exhaustion. Too spent to try climbing the Walls, I had left him a message in the ground surrounding his isolated district, an arrow indicating the direction and the words, 'If you want him back alive...' That would have to do, for the time being. Judging from his expression, as his friend had dragged him back inside the Walls, it wouldn't take long.

I looked down at the boy cradled in my hand thoughtfully. I hadn't intended to take a hostage; what I had intended to do was seize the Coordinate and then rendezvous with Reiner and Bertholdt. But apparently, unfortunately, that was no longer an option. I kept my titan form as I slumped to the ground, eyes still on the fragile human in my palm. He was skin and bones, with dark circles around his eyes and straw-like hair that had, most likely, been soft and shining at some point or other. I felt an unexpected stab of sympathy, reaching down and brushing his bangs away with one finger. I was startled when my touch revealed a huge, bleeding wound on his forehead, most likely sustained when he had fallen from the Coordinate.

 _He'll probably die if that goes untreated..._ I thought, and then shrugged. _The Coordinate will come, regardless of whether he's actually alive or not; he'll have no way of knowing._ It wasn't as though I hadn't killed others; watched thousands die because of the actions of my friends and I.

But there was something strangely _needless_ in the death of that small boy; something that made me place him gently in the branches of a tree and then shed my titan skin, emerging and bounding up beside him. With a sigh, I pulled out the spare blanket in my backpack, ripped it into strips, and set to tending his wound.

The boy, much to my nervousness, began to stir while I was still working. I wasn't worried about him escaping; I was certain I could handle him. What I was concerned about was him questioning my motives, because I simply didn't have an answer- for him or for myself. I tried to hurry, jostling him more than necessary as I wrestled the bandages into place.

"Uh... Mi... kasa...?" he murmured suddenly; I saw that his eyes were slightly open, but doubted he could see anything beyond shadows and bleary shapes. "Where...? Mikasa, is Eren...?"

I ignored him; I didn’t even begin to know how to reply. But that only made him more frantic, and it was just a moment before he began to struggle against my hands. Although still disoriented and functionally blind, he had likely realized that I was not who he had originally assumed.

"Hold still," I grunted, and felt him stiffen beneath my hands, "if you don't want to bleed to death. This is a nasty wound; I think you might have a concussion, as well."

"... Who...?" he asked breathily, and it suddenly hit me what a serious problem it would be if my identity was revealed. Cursing my own stupidity, I grabbed the bottom of his worn shirt, tearing off a strip easily and wrapping it around his eyes.

"The female titan. That's all you need to know."

Shockingly, somewhat alarmingly, he actually _smiled_. "Well I knew _that_ ," he said, sounding genuinely friendly. "I was hoping you would tell me your name."

"... I'm no one that you know," I replied evasively, wondering why he had struck such a pleasant tone. "My name wouldn't do you any good."

"Yes, but it would be nicer to call you by a name than just referring to you as 'Female titan.'"

I was caught between the urge to tell him my name and the urge to shove him off the tree branch for being so intolerably endearing; I ended up doing neither, but instead simply stared at him. He was trying to sit up, despite obvious dizziness, but he hadn't moved to try to remove the improvised blindfold or to get away. Feeling a stab of pity as his hand slipped, I caught him before he tumbled off the branch.

"We're over 20 meters off the ground," I informed him, and then helped him to lean against the tree's trunk. "Don't flail like that, or you'll fall."

He practically _beamed_ at me, and I felt my heart skip. "Thank you! I'll be more careful."

Part of me knew that I was being manipulated, but part of me didn't want to believe it. It had been such a long time since I'd felt anything remotely pleasant for anyone other than Bertholdt and Reiner; I wanted to believe that this blonde boy was being friendly for the sake of being friendly, not for the sake of preserving his own fragile life.

"You don't need to act like this," I said softly, reluctant to put an end to his charade but even more loathe to be taken in by it. "I'm not planning on killing you."

His expression did dim a bit, but surprisingly the smile stayed in place. "Oh. I'm really glad to hear that."

 _I'll bet you are,_ I thought, and then resumed my wondering about why he was still smiling. Perhaps he really was this friendly? Perhaps the suspected concussion had knocked a few screws loose? Perhaps he had already _had_ a few screws loose before I had even come into the picture?

"I'm Armin," he continued, holding out his hand in my general direction, "Armin Arlert." After a moment's hesitation, I took his offered hand and was shocked when he lifted mine, brushing his lips against my skin. I snatched my hand away, rubbing its back a bit protectively.

"You won't be charming any information out of me," I said, a bit insulted, and he cocked his head, looking genuinely befuddled.

"I'm not necessarily trying to," he said, "although I would certainly listen if you suddenly decided to talk."

Feeling my lips curve in a slight smile, I wondered ideally if this precious little creature would ever consider joining our cause. He looked physically weak, but seemed clever; he hadn't shown even a hint of fear, other than his initial, delirious alarm upon waking. But then I sighed softly, shaking my head and chastising myself for daydreaming. Sitting back in the fork of a branch opposite him, I settled my backpack on my lap and began to dig through it.

"Well, I don't doubt that your little friends will come after you soon," I said, pulling out my canteen and taking a long drink. "Water?" He nodded, and I placed the canteen into his searching hand. He drank thirstily, and I wondered what sorts of hell he had been through; they most likely rivaled my own struggles.

"Thanks," he said, and I tucked the canteen back into my backpack. I peered into the burlap folds; observed that I was running dangerously low on rations. But, with another glance up at my blindfolded prisoner, a small smile still curving his lips and his sharp cheekbones cutting through his pale skin, I sighed and surrendered.

"Here; some hardtack. I'll find some fruit preserves if you give me a moment."

His face lit up- gods, I shouldn't have been so affected by that expression. I should have killed him; let him die of his injuries. I shouldn't be _feeding_ him. But I handed over the last of my fruit preserves seemingly cheerfully, and watched carefully as he ate. He was more than clever, but dexterous, as well; now that he had recovered from the worst of his dizziness, he didn't seem to even miss his sight. In fact, it was almost surreal, the ease with which he functioned without his eyes, so much so that a nagging suspicion appeared in the back of my mind.

"Are you blind?" I couldn't help but ask it. The vast majority of the time I had known him, he had been either unconscious or blindfolded, so it wasn't unthinkable; I shouldn't have been as curious as I was, but he shouldn't even be alive.

Armin Arlert laughed- it was a lighthearted sound, even in such a situation. "You caught that, hmm? It usually takes people a while. Yes, blind as a bat; I can hardly make out light and shadow and very fuzzy, indistinct shapes. How did you know?"

"Well..." I said, a bit uncomfortably, "you don't seem to be having any difficulty, despite the blindfold; the only thing I could come up with was that you were accustomed to functioning without your sight."

The boy nodded slightly. "Usually it takes a while for people to notice," he said. "You can't tell by looking at my eyes because I wasn't born blind, and there's no visible injury. So when I'm not running into walls, people tend to assume that I can see just like anyone else."

"Oh?" Now he had _really_ piqued my curiosity; I was even leaning forward slightly. "How did you lose your sight, if it wasn't hereditary or an injury?"

The boy shrugged, taking a huge bite of food before elaborating. "A couple of months after Maria first fell, that was when the food shortage was the worst," he said, and my stomach dropped; I could guess what was coming next. "I had been eating so little to begin with, my body just started to fail right and left. I'll take the blindness over the heart attacks, though; it's frustrating, but not deadly."

I handed him the scraps of rations I had been saving for myself.

"Thanks," he said, less cheerfully but far more earnestly than he had before. I looked away, unable to face the very embodiment of what we had done.

 _Yes... his life certainly rivals my own, in terms of struggle... but I've never been starving to death,_ never _. Reiner and Bertholdt... poor Bertholdt starves himself sometimes, but..._

"What about your friends?" I asked, the thought of my own companions reminding me. "Didn't they look after you?"

"Of course," he replied, cleaning the fruit preserves off his thin fingers with a quick, pink tongue. "And I looked after them. I mean, I guess the whole thing was partially my fault; I let them have most of the food, and by the time they caught on..." he chuckled, his humor defying his story, "well, Mikasa ended up force-feeding me for a while. But I probably would have died if she hadn't forced the issue, so I'm not exactly complaining."

His words were like knives in my heart; he was so strong, even after all that our actions had put him through. _What sort of masochist am I, sitting here an engaging him in conversation? It's hard enough to carry on with the Mission without having stories like this thrown in my face._ So looked away, and didn't reply.

"How old are you?" he asked, after a moment. "You sound younger than I'd expect. Y-you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to," he added hastily, "but I won't be able to identify you by just your age."

I shifted; glanced up at him and then looked away. "Thirteen."

"Wow! So only one year older than me..." the boy said thoughtfully, and I wondered if I should have told him anything. But it was true that it would be impossible to identify me by just that; my voice was a much bigger concern, and I had already given that away.

"So you were only eleven when the Wall fell?"

"Yup! Eren and Mikasa were twelve, so they're your age, now," he told me, and I winced; them I could believe, but he looked about nine.

"... You've done well to survive this long."

His expression saddened a bit. "Lots of people didn't..." he murmured. "But... sacrifice is necessary for change, I suppose."

"Yes..." I murmured, closing my eyes so that I didn't have to look at him; so that I wouldn't voice the apology choking me. "Sacrifice... is necessary."

... ... ...

I felt admittedly foolish for keeping a blind boy blindfolded, but I also knew that I couldn't afford to just take his word for certain things. My voice was one thing; my face was another. But as one day turned into two and then three, I found it increasingly hard to keep my guard up around Armin Arlert. He was simply so earnest- so disarming. Yet he was intelligent as well; I enjoyed our conversations, those that had to do with matters of human nature and the world at large. We agreed upon many topics, it seemed.

He told me enthusiastically, too, about the ocean; told me that it was his dream to see it in person, with Eren and Mikasa. He told me about his parents; about his grandfather. He told me, as well, about the current ruler of the district, a former Garrison member named Hannes. Armin himself, he admitted with flushed cheeks, served as a tactician and advisor to Hannes; Eren and Mikasa, along with what was left of the Garrison, maintained order and organized the Expeditions beyond the Walls.

We both, by silent consensus, sidestepped topics that might facilitate mistrust of the other- Grisha Jaeger; the Coordinate; my origins; Eren's plans; my plans... anything that would necessitate one of us killing the other for what they knew.

I didn't actually speak that much; he never asked questions of a personal nature, although philosophical questions were common, and I didn't volunteer much. But I was happy to listen to him talk, and had to keep reminding myself rather forcibly that I had no idea how much of what he was telling me was true; he was, by his own admission, a tactician, although I certainly wouldn't have believed anything less.

At sunset on the third day, I decided that I needed to test one thing; I needed to know just one thing, for absolutely certain, if I was to keep the company of my prisoner for any longer. One thing I did know about Armin Arlert was that he had a very strong drive to stay alive; unusually so, admirably so. So I bade him stand, and then took his hand.

He didn't question me; followed.

"You said that you can see shapes and shadows, yes?" I asked, and he nodded. Placing one hand on his back, urging him to walk ahead of me, I instructed, "Take off the blindfold, but don't turn around. I don't want to have to worry about you running into any trees."

Nodding shakily, he did as I instructed; kept his gaze straight ahead. He fared well, aside from the occasional stumble- a good act, if it was one. He changed direction at the slightest shift of my hand; I guessed that his companions guided him in such a way, from the ease with which he read my signals. I hoped there weren't any titans in the immediate area; it would be an irritation if one of the clumsy beasts were to suddenly appear.

The cliff came into view through the trees; the valley below, once a thriving village, was now a titan-infested ghost town. If the 40-some meter drop didn't kill him, the titans certainly would. I never slowed; never faltered. Neither did Armin, feeling the steady pressure of my hand between his thin shoulder blades.

"Just keep going straight. See? We're headed into a clearing. The ground is nice and flat for a while."

He nodded trustingly; I watched for any sign of hesitation, but he simply stared straight ahead, his gait never faltering as he approached the yawning chasm.

In regards to Armin Arlert, there were two things I could say for certain: one, he was clever enough not to trust me; two, he valued his own life and the lives of his companions very much.

And he took the final step into open air without so much as a flinch or a quiver.

The blonde boy yelped upon finding the ground no longer there; pinwheeled his arms in an attempt to regain his balance. But what was lost was lost, and then he was falling.

I reached forward; grabbed the back of his shirt just as he slipped completely off the edge. Hauling him back up beside me, I added a third thing to my list of certainties:

Armin Arlert was just as blind as he claimed.

Panting, gasping softly, the blonde boy latched onto me; now he was shaking, with both genuine terror and adrenaline. I, pity lancing through me suddenly, ran my fingers through his hair.

"My apologies."

"Y-you... were testing me..." he whispered; laughed breathlessly. "I suppose I would have done exactly the same, in your position."

I smiled slightly. "I supposed you would have."

... ... ...

After that, things eased slightly between us. But as the following days stretched into a week, it became apparent that I wasn't going to be able to wait things out. I glanced over at Armin, dozing contentedly in the crook of the tree; sighed.

"It's not as if I can just leave you here," I murmured. "What if your friends come looking?"

He stirred with a sleepy, questioning murmur, and I stood slowly. Then, reaching down, I roused him with a gentle shake.

"Armin. We have to go for a little day trip, I'm afraid."

He looked up, blinking his useless blue eyes; I watched as they tried and failed to focus on me, ending up crossed in an unnatural fashion. "'Day trip?'" he queried, and I nodded before I realized he couldn't see it.

"Yes. Your friend the Coordinate is taking too long; I need to rendezvous with with my comrades and inform them of the situation. Though unfortunately I can't leave you here, which means you'll have to come along."

"I get to meet your friends?" he asked brightly, and I winced.

"... Perhaps. The Coordinate was carrying you; you're comfortable traveling by titan, then?"

He nodded, and I gave the issue no more thought. Leaping down from the tree branch, I let the transformation take me. The titan's flesh rushed up around me amid the electricity of the thunderbolt, and I wondered briefly if the sound or light of it would reach Shiganshina. I was admittedly concerned; if the Coordinate didn't take my bait, that would mean either trying to infiltrate the district itself or waiting until he came out again, which could take months. At the same time, I found myself slightly annoyed that he hadn't taken my bait for another reason: what kind of person was this Coordinate, I wondered, if he would simply abandon his friend?

... Much less, if he would abandon Armin Arlert?

Not that the kind of person he was would necessarily affect the mission; it was just a personal issue I took with him.

"Ar... min." His name was relatively easy for me to force out through my titan throat; some sounds were easier than others. "Stand." He did as I said. Moving deliberately slowly, I picked him up and placed him in my other palm, then brought him up to my chest; he rested his head against my sternum.

"You're warm, like Eren..." he murmured, and I gave a rumble of surprise.

 _He's just trying to ensure that you're not going to kill him,_ I reminded myself. _He's doing this on purpose…_ But I couldn't bring myself to quite believe that anymore. He had been with me for nearly a week, and his behavior was terribly consistent for an act; it should be obvious, besides, that I didn't intend to harm him. He behaved like this from the moment he woke to the moment he fell asleep; I had tried to catch him off guard a few times, either late in the day or early in the morning, and had yet to find a single crack in this mask- if it was a mask.

So I shoved the question of Armin Arlert forcefully from my mind, focusing instead on jogging forward through the trees. The boy didn't move or flinch, seeming to trust me more than he should. It took an hour or so to reach the edge of Wall Rose, pulling up alongside the Trost Wall. Then I took a deep breath; Armin heard it rattling in my chest, apparently, and looked up.

"What's wrong?"

I didn't reply. Crouching down, I let him slip off my hand and onto the ground as I undid the titan transformation with an effort. I was irrationally scared of getting stuck in that form, one day; the undoing of the transformation was so much more difficult than the initiation of it. Joining Armin on the ground, I removed my jacket and draped it around his shoulders, pulling the hood up over his face.

"I'm not taking any risks," I said softly. "You can't identify anyone; I'd rather they not be able to identify you."

Armin nodded willingly, and then reached out tentatively. I could tell he was confused about our location. "Where...?" he began, but then stalled.

"Just outside the Trost district, on the edge of Wall Rose," I said, knowing that he would likely piece it together soon enough anyway. "Come on; get onto my back."

Understanding, he groped until he found my shoulders, then wrapped his arms around my neck. With a whir of my Maneuver Gear, I climbed the Wall quickly, hopping up onto it in the middle of a sparsely patrolled section. Ducking quickly into the cover of a Garrison tent, I slid past the guard screen and dropped down the other side of the Wall. Armin squeaked as we began to free fall, but I stopped our decent quickly enough with my Gear, lowering us at a more controlled pace until we were on solid ground once again.

"Alright," I murmured, letting him slide from my back. "You know how to hide your blindness; I want you to do that now. Do nothing to draw attention to us."

He nodded timidly, stretching out his hand; understanding, I took it and led him out into the street. It was a huge risk; he could have, at any time, shouted for the Military Police or Garrison and told them the whole story. But I doubted they would believe him, anyway; humanity couldn't comprehend the existence of Shifters, at least not yet. Armin, regardless of his thought process, didn't make a scene; he followed me docilely, doing a good job of hiding his blindness despite the occasional stumble. Then, after just over an hour of walking, my destination came into sight.

"You're doing well," I murmured to my hostage. "Keep it up."

He nodded, shrinking closer to my side; I was irrationally soothed by his warm body against mine.

The barracks were deserted when I entered; little wonder, seeing as everyone else was probably out training. I guided Armin over, lifting him by his fragile waist so that he could sit on the top bunk in the corner- mine.

"Where...?" he began again curiously, but again he stopped; smiled. "You don't have to tell me."

"Listen closely," I said, deliberately ignoring the flutterings of fondness in the pit of my stomach. "You're my little brother, as far as anyone is concerned. I received a message from our Aunt saying that you were ill, and to come quickly; that's why I left without telling anyone. You didn't want me to leave, so you stowed away in the carriage my aunt rented for me. I have to take you back home again, but I decided to come check in here before I have to repeat the trip. Understood?"

He nodded seriously. "Understood!"

I almost smiled at his mock-dedication to the little charade; after a moment, his serious expression cracked into a laugh, and suddenly I found myself chuckling, as well.

"Annie!!"

I spun, surprised to hear my name; one Sasha Blause stood in the doorway, looking just as shocked to see me... and rather guilty, considering the potatoes and meat in her arms and mouth. Armin's neck stretched up as he listened to the new voice curiously, and I realized with slight irritation that he now knew my name.

"Sasha," I greeted my classmate, after a moment. "This is my little brother; brother, Sasha, the local potato-thief."

That made the blonde boy begin to chuckle again, and I let myself smile at the sound. Then I came forward, relieving Sasha of several potatoes and chunks of beef. "Thanks; we were starving."

I watched her begin to protest, but then fall silent with a pout as she realized that this was the price of my silence. I nodded approvingly as I returned to Armin, placing one of the still-warm boiled potatoes in his hands.

"Thanks, Annie!" he said brightly, and then turned in the other girl's general direction. "And Sasha!"

I felt a momentary stab of jealousy, hearing him use that tone with someone else. I made a shooing motion in Sasha's direction.

"I'd get going if I were you, if I didn't want to get caught." Jumping slightly, she nodded furiously and then shoved the rest of her haul beneath her mattress. I watched closely as she left, though with feigned indifference, and the door clicked shut behind her. Seeing that Armin was licking his fingers clean of potato remnants, I placed a chunk of meat in his hands.

"Sasha isn't good for many things, but she usually has a stash of food hidden somewhere," I explained, as he beamed at me. "I'll get some more from under her mattress, if you're still hungry."

I was still at a loss as to why I was being so kind to him. It had become a reflex, almost; I took for granted that it was my responsibility to look after him. But the mindlessness of it allowed me to continue without questioning my deeper motives... or his.

Sighing slightly, I shook my head. "Don't go anywhere or speak to anyone, if you can help it; if you’re forced to, just remember the story. I need to go meet with my comrades." Fond as I might be growing of the boy, I _didn’t_ want to introduce him to Bertl and Reiner.

"Okay..." Armin murmured. "But... hurry back, alright?"

I smiled slightly; ruffled his hair. "Of course."

Creeping out from the barracks, I slunk into the practice forest, following the sound of my class' 3D Gear. It only took a moment to pinpoint my childhood friends' voices, and I carefully dodged other trainees as I approached them.

"Reiner! Bertl!"

Instantly they were beside me, all worried questions and concerns. I was momentarily warmed by their voices and presence.

"You're late!" Reiner said. "I was just about to come after you; bring Shiganshina to the ground myself!"

I shook my head slightly, although his concern dragged a slight smile from me. "There's certainly no need for that," I murmured, trying to sound cross. "I don't need you rescuing me."

"Did you capture him?" Bertholdt asked worriedly, and I grimaced.

"... No, not exactly," I admitted. "I engaged the Coordinate outside his district; he got away from me, but I did take one of his comrades hostage. I'm just waiting for him to take the bait, now."

"Can this hostage identify you?!" Reiner demanded, and I shook my head.

"He's blind."

"... Blind?" Bertl asked, and I winced.

"Yes... he went blind because of prolonged starvation, shortly after the Wall fell." I knew that the statement would likely cause my tall friend a week of nightmares, but for some reason I still said it.

"And you're sure that the Coordinate will come for him, even though he hasn't already?" Reiner asked, looking unconvinced.

"I'm sure." I wasn't sure. I had a sinking feeling that something was stopping him- probably the girl, Mikasa. But I was loathe to pass my doubts on to my companions.

My blonde friend shook his head slightly. "This... is ridiculous..." he sighed. "We just want to get home; why is that so damn hard?"

I shrugged. "We never thought it would be easy."

"So what was the Coordinate like?" Bertl asked suddenly. "Do you think he'll join us willingly?"

I shifted. "Hard... to say," I murmured. "When I came upon him, he was helping the people of Shiganshina gather supplies from Outside the Wall. However..." Why was I loathe to pass on the intel I had gotten out of Armin? Because I couldn't verify it? ... Or because it felt like a violation of trust?

"... According to my hostage, he also hates and seeks revenge against humanity. He also seemed very... comfortable in his titan form." _A bit mad,_ I added silently, but thought it best not to disclose that particular suspicion. The state of a Shifter's mind was key to the transformation; the more attached one was to their human form, the more human they _felt_ , the harder and more unstable the transformation was. I had suspected that the Coordinate felt very weak ties to humanity from my first encounter with him.

Reiner nodded slowly. "That... could work to our advantage."

"As long as we avoid threatening the people he cares about- the hostage, Armin, and a girl named Mikasa -it shouldn't be hard to convince him to join us," I said, although I was far from certain. 

"A-alright... keep on as you were, then," Bertholdt said, albeit a tad shakily. "We'll stall Shadis a bit longer; come back when you have the Coordinate's answer."

"Be careful, Annie," Reiner added, with a heavy hand on my shoulder. "Don't do anything to jeopardize your own safety."

I felt a rush of heat in my chest; wanted, more than anything else, for all this to be over. So I nodded; placed my hand over his briefly, and let Bertholdt mesh his fingers with mine on my other side.

"I'll be back soon- _with_ the Coordinate. And then we'll all be able to go home."

... ... ...

The return trip was uneventful; Armin, seemingly exhausted, had been unable to even walk back to the Wall, and had subsequently fallen asleep on my back. Although I was optimistic about the plan we had settled upon, I couldn't help but have my doubts- about Armin and the information he was feeding us; about the Coordinate, Eren. 

_He's a clever one... I can't let... myself trust him._

Armin shifted on my back, murmuring something sleepily; my heart, inexplicably, melted, and I closed my eyes.

_Even if he is lying to us, could I bring myself to kill him...? I would have to…_

The blonde boy didn't wake until we were over the Trost Wall; I placed him gingerly on the ground while I prepared to transform. He watched me with unseeing blue eyes; opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it without breaking his silence.

"What?" I queried; he fidgeted uncomfortably.

"... Do you hate humanity, Annie? Like Eren does?"

I blinked, surprised by his candor. He looked down, shaking his head.

"You don't have to answer that, if you don't want to," he said, a bit sheepishly. "You want me to know as little as possible... a-and I don't want to know anything that might make it necessary for you to kill me, you know?" He laughed nervously.

I felt myself soften, a small smile coming to my lips. "You are a clever child; it's a pity that what happened did."

"But-!" Armin began, only to cut himself off again; I sighed.

"But didn't I cause it?" He flushed; nodded timidly. "Yes... and no. It had been... predetermined. Even before my birth." 

I could see him practically bubbling with curiosity, although he held his tongue; I laughed softly at his restraint.

"The three of us were raised for this mission," I said. "I've come to terms with it. Although I don't like needless death, our actions are anything but needless. If you knew what I do, you’d agree.” 

I saw Armin's eyes darken slightly as he nodded, slowly. Then it was my turn to ask a question.

"Why does Eren hate humanity?"

Tears came to Armin's eyes; I had already realized that his tears were mostly reactionary, not necessarily a sign of weakness, and his voice was steady when he answered. "He... saw his mother killed... by a group of kids, shortly after the Fall. So he just... turned against humanity as a whole."

"Aren't you afraid of someone like that?" I asked, honestly curious. The boy hunched his shoulders, hands balling into fists on his lap.

"It makes me nervous, sometimes... when he kills like he does... He's very... unpredictable. The only people I'm sure, I mean _really_ sure that he wouldn't attack are Mikasa and I. If he perceives a threat to one of us..." his face paled as he forced out, "... he's ripped people limb from limb... right in front of me..."

Momentarily saddened and a bit unsettled, I shook my head; laid my hand briefly on his shoulder before I took a step back and initiated the transformation. Then I bent; lifted him gently and placed him on my shoulder.

"Ready?" I asked, and felt him settle in the divot created by my collar bone.

"Yeah. Let's go meet Eren."

... ... ...

It didn't take long to reach the Forest of 100 Year Old Trees again; once we did, I climbed up into the branches of one before shedding the transformation. Armin hopped down beside me, waiting patiently for me to join him in human form.

"Hungry?" I asked, doubting he would say no. Handing him some bread and meat (I had restocked my rations before I left Trost), I sat down on the branch and watched as he ate hungrily. "You know..." I murmured, "if the Coordinate joins us willingly... you won't go hungry again, if I can help it. We've killed thousands, but we look after our own."

I was rewarded with a glowing smile that made my heart skip; I would never cease to wonder how he could still smile, after all he had been through. _Such courage…_

"I hope Eren sees reason. I would love to stay with you, Annie." His expression dimmed a bit, though, and he looked down suddenly. “But… Annie, if Eren _doesn’t…_ ” he began hesitantly, and I stiffened. “... If Eren doesn’t, Annie…” 

I sighed. “The mission necessitates that I bring the Coordinate back with me, Armin,” I said, “regardless of whether he’s willing or not. He’ll… join us, soon enough, once he learns the whole truth.” 

“It’s my philosophy,” Armin said suddenly, in a tone that I had never heard him use before, “to always have a back-up plan in place, regardless of how confident you are in your main plan.” 

I nodded hesitantly, and then realized he couldn’t see it. “I wouldn’t disagree.” 

“Annie, I want you to promise me something. And I’ll promise you.” 

“Oh?” He seemed… different. For a moment, I wondered if the mask he had been wearing with me was slipping, but dismissed the notion. 

“I want you to promise, no matter which side the two of us ultimately end up on, that you’ll be my fall-back; and I’ll be yours.” 

I barely had time to be surprised; no sooner had he said it than there was a rustle in the bushes. I glanced over, as did Armin, despite his inability to see. Then I was on my feet; he looked up at me, flustered.

"An-?"

"Sh!" I said quickly, reaching down and grabbing my hostage around the waist; he squeaked as I jumped up, taking cover in thicker foliage just as the 15 meter titan appeared through the trees.

The titan- the Coordinate -spoke, his voice unsteady and slurred. "Come out... I'm alone." Worry creased even his titan face, and I felt Armin tense beside me. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the blonde further up so that I could whisper in his ear.

"If something goes wrong, and this becomes a battle... I will not let you be hurt. Wait here."

I felt him stiffen slightly, and then nod; setting him down among the thickly-leaved boughs, I crept forward slightly. Tired from my earlier transformation, I was reluctant to engage the Coordinate... but I wouldn't get a better chance.

Nicking my finger on my ring, I felt the titan body form around me in a rush; heard the Coordinate give a soft roar of surprise. Then I was dropping down, landing with both feet firmly under me. Rising, I faced the Coordinate- Eren.

"You are alone?" I asked, disliking the sound of my own voice; he nodded.

"Armin?"

After a moment of hesitation, I reached up; offered my palm. I felt the boy land on it a heartbeat later, squeaking slightly upon impact.

"Here." I brought him around to my chest. "Safe and in one piece."

I saw Eren's expression soften upon seeing his friend; winced at how familiar the emotions that must have been surging through him were. Armin groped his way to the edge of my palm, clinging onto my hand as he leaned forward.

"Eren!! I'm alright!"

"... Save... you, Armin," the titan growled, and I subconsciously drew him closer to my chest.

"He does not need to be saved, per say," I growled, a bit insulted. "He was not mistreated in my care."

"I'm alright, Eren," Armin repeated, leaning farther forward, so much so that I lurched slightly to put my other hand under him, in case he should fall. This wasn't lost on Eren, apparently.

"I... believe..." the Coordinate paused, seeming tongue-tied; I grimaced in sympathy. His mouth seemed even less suited to human speech than mine was.

"We should discuss this in our human forms," I said softly. "But I need your word- you will come quietly."

"Come where?" he snarled, taking a step forward. "Nowhere- I'll... nowhere!"

"You should listen to what she has to say, Eren!" I was pleasantly surprised when Armin spoke, from my palm; Eren looked not-so-pleasantly surprised. He glared at me as if to blame me for his friend's strange behavior, and I couldn't help a haughty smirk.

"Shall we?"

With visible reluctance, the Coordinate nodded. His body began to dissolve in a hiss of steam; I knelt to allow Armin to clammer down from my palm before I followed suit, letting my titan body disintegrate. Before the steam dissipated, I pulled my hood up over my head; pulled a white mask up over the majority of my face. If things went wrong- which they very well might -I didn't want the boy Eren to be able to identify Annie Leonheart as the Female Titan. Coming around to the front of my melting titan body, I took Armin by the arm; he didn't complain.

I had only seen his human form once, fleetingly, so when the Coordinate first came into view I was a bit taken aback. He was small, with ratty brown hair and a thin face, his cold eyes glinting with a functional insanity that I had seen from time to time among my fellow villagers. Although blatantly underfed, he wasn't nearly as scrawny as Armin, with hard muscle stretched across his bony frame. _Protein,_ I realized slowly. _Lots of meat. Most likely cannibalism._ His mouth was set in a hard line as he approached- unforgiving, hostile, wild.

Utterly unpredictable.

"Give me Armin."

"Not until we finish our little talk." I drew the blonde unconsciously closer to me; I had the sudden and burning desire to protect him from this savage little child, although I knew that said savage probably had a similar opinion in regards to me.

The Coordinate bared his teeth; I had seen Shifters go feral before, but seeing such animalistic behavior in one so young unnerved me. Usually the insanity was a byproduct of years upon years upon decades of repeated transformations; this boy seemed to be losing his mind after a matter of months.

"Give me... Armin," he repeated, taking a step forward. "I'll kill you if you don't. I'll _eat_ you."

"Eren...!" Armin begged softly, and the boy seemed to come back to himself for a moment.

"I know you don't like it when I talk like that," he murmured. "I'm sorry, Armin. I didn't mean to scare you."

The blonde hadn't been scared, I could tell- concerned, yes, but he wasn't so easily scared. I straightened out my arm so that he was slightly behind me, although I was certain both the Coordinate and I would take a bullet for the tiny blonde boy.

"Shall we?" I asked. "I think Armin has been through enough without seeing us rip each other apart... in human form, at that." Was it a tactic to make the Coordinate more agreeable? Or did I really want to save Armin from seeing that?

The Coordinate's eyes narrowed again; the insanity swirled gently, hypnotically in his blue-green eyes. "Sure... although I won't be agreeing to anything. For better or worse, I'll be taking Armin back and ripping out your filthy throat."

I shifted back a step; my instincts were screaming at me to run- to run from this mad creature who would certainly make good on his threat, if given half a chance. I felt Armin move slightly behind me, and my breath caught as he spoke.

"He can't be reasoned with."

I didn't turn; Eren wasn't privy to the hostage's whispered words, and I wasn't about to give them away. But Armin knew I could hear him, and continued.

"I've only seen him this bad once before. Let me go to him; I might be able to convince him to listen. But while he perceives that I'm in danger, he won't listen to a word you say."

"Armin is in no danger," I said loudly, taking a step forward and spreading my hands slightly. "I know you perceive me as a threat, but I will not harm him, or you."

"You expect me to believe that?" Eren snarled softly. "If you do, you're a stupider bitch than I expected."

I twitched, suppressing the urge to tear him limb-from-limb... before he could do it to me. "Listen... I don't know how much Grisha Jaeger told you, but-"

"What do you know about my father?!" Eren Jaeger roared, taking a step forward; I didn't flinch, although felt his rage as a physical presence.

"More than you do, most likely," I answered mildly. "More than you _ever_ will, most likely. But Grisha's specific involvement is beside the point. What _is_ the point is how much he told you about your titan- and Coordinate -powers; how much he told you about the Mission."

"He told me nothing," the boy answered bitterly. "He never had the chance to."

Suddenly, a reason for his apparent insanity appeared. "Damn- you ate him, didn't you?"

Momentarily softening, seemingly with guilt or something similar, Eren nodded; I cursed under my breath.

_If he was already eating human flesh to stave off starvation... and had a grudge against humanity for the death of his mother... and then ate his father- and possibly more people -the first time he transformed... it makes so much sense that he'd be on the brink of losing his mind. He was already acting like a titan even before he became one._

"We can help you." My tact had changed. "You feel... unstable, right? Like you can't control yourself. You feel more in control when you're in titan form, right? You're afraid that you'll snap one day, and try to eat-"

"Shut up!" the Coordinate shrieked, his eyes screwed shut; I could tell that I had hit a bit too close to home. "Shut _up_!!"

Taking a step back, I tried to shield Armin with my body; if Eren lost it and attacked us, my wounds would heal- his wouldn't. But the Coordinate surprised me yet again and maintained control... if barely.

"No. I would never harm them." It was murmured softly, half to himself and half to me. I wished, with every fiber of my being, that I didn't have to deal with this madman... but, at the same time, I was undeniably intrigued by the strength of will he was displaying. It was similar to Armin's hidden strength- Armin's cunning and courage.

"That's good to hear," I said softly. "I know what it's like to live with crushing guilt; I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. All of us feel like that, you know. We understand how you feel."

Eren looked up at me, tears in his glass eyes. "There are others?" he whispered, and I nodded.

"Yes." I thought it best to steer clear of Grisha Jaeger's name, as it seemed to be a trigger; I also wasn't keen on revealing the existence of my village without being able to predict how this meeting would end. "More than you know."

"..." His eyes darkened; for a moment, I thought I might have triggered another episode of rage, but that didn't seem to be the case. "Side... with the titans...?"

I shook my head. "Not exactly. However, certainly not with humanity. Humanity is slated to be wiped out." I didn't want to tell him more, as uncertain as I was of his answer.

Eren's eyes narrowed. "'Wiped out?'" he echoed. "The other Walls will be destroyed, you mean?"

I shifted uncomfortably; he was probing far deeper than I was comfortable with, asking exactly the right questions- the ones that I couldn't answer truthfully, but couldn't dodge while claiming offered friendship. He still seemed incredibly hostile and on-edge, his gaze flicking constantly to Armin and then back to me; he seemed far too frazzled to be coming up with such questions off the top of his head.

"No, not exactly," I admitted. "Let it suffice to say that the interior of the Walls will turn into a living hell soon; very few- if any -will be spared."

"And our district?" he asked, with a soft growl. "I don't really care about the main Walls; I'm only concerned with Shiganshina."

I shrugged. "One of two fates will befall your district- first, it alone will survive, overlooked, when all of humanity perishes, or second," I paused, choosing my words carefully before continuing, "it'll be used as a testing ground for what will become of the main Walls. I'm not high enough in the chain of command to know which, although personally I'd bet on the latter."

"Who?" Eren challenged me, and my suspicions peaked. He wasn't that good; wasn't that focused. He shouldn't have been coming up with these questions. "Who wants to wipe out humanity?"

"You, or so I've heard," I replied dryly, and then glanced over my shoulder. "Isn't that so, Armin?"

The Coordinate gave a beastial growl, and I wondered if I'd accidentally triggered another fit of some sort. "I'll make humanity suffer," he snarled, hands clenching into fists at his sides. "I'll wipe them out... I'll _exterminate_ them...!!"

"Eren...!" Armin objected pleadingly; I knew he didn't like seeing his friend in such a state, but such an attitude boded well for a possible alliance.

"The Shifters, you and I, are not bound by the rules of this world," I told him, and saw his eyes spark with interest. "Things aren't as black and white for us- humans vs. titans, I mean. I know that there are humans you're attached to; siding with us would not mean siding with the titans to eradicate all human life." _Not quite a lie…_ I told myself uncomfortably, but pressed on. "It just entails condoning the destruction of humanity as it currently exists. And we always look after our own- those we care for. That's all."

"... That's... convincing," Eren whispered, avoiding my eyes. "... Tempting..." Shifting, he chuckled slightly. "... I almost wish..."

"You can trust me," I said, softly; matching his tone. "I swear, you won't regret it."

"I wish..." he repeated, and then his hand tightened into a fist at his side. I saw blood drip from his palm; wondered briefly if he was trying to transform. But his shoulders were trembling, tears dripping from under his bangs, and I doubted that he would have such trouble transforming if he wanted to. I heard Armin shift behind me; resisted the urge to glance over to see what he was doing.

"Come," I said finally, offering my hand. "I'll take you to meet the others. You don't have to decide anything yet, just-"

"But..." his voice was soft but forceful, making me stop mid-sentence. “Armin… Armin… said...” 

I began to speak- probably something about how Armin was already on-board -but a sudden bolt of pain in the back of my knee stopped me cold. A soft gasp emerged in place of words, and I felt my leg give under my weight. In the same instant Eren was there, a knife in his hand, slashing at the air where my throat had been a mere heartbeat before.

Collapsing fully onto my knees, I fought the haze of pain to see two shapes swarming around me- Eren, his strike having missed, stumbling over me; Armin, the branch he had used to strike me shattering in two, stumbling forward. Then the blonde had spun, eyes locked on me with a strange clarity I had never seen; he skipped away from me, maintaining his balance as his momentum carried him backwards.

"Eren!!" he called, although his gaze was still locked on me. "Come on; we have to get out of here, _now_!!" I heard the rumble of a titan transformation behind me, but couldn't bring myself to look away from the blonde- from his startling blue eyes.

"You...!"

He smiled; it was a sad expression, really- regret and triumph bled, thick and pungent, from the cracks in his mask, and for a moment I choked on the unpleasantness and pain of the expression.

"Thank you... for being so good to me, Annie.

"But I cannot endanger my plans for the sake of going with you now. I swear to you... I swear, you'll get your chance to get back at me for this. We'll meet again... later rather than sooner, but... please wait for that time." 

“Why would I?” I managed to ask, my voice strangely devoid of emotion; he flinched, smile widening slightly. 

“Because I _know,_ ” he whispered, his expression describable only as raw and unstable. “I know so many things that you don’t want revealed yet. Grisha Jaeger might not have lived long, but what he left behind has filled in quite a few of the gaps. I know about the Ape; I know about the Mission; I know just what kind of Hell is coming. And so help me, Annie… if you make a move on my home… I will make sure that yours _burns_. It is within my power right now to burn the Shifter Village to the _ground_ , and so help me, Annie… I’ll hate myself for it, but I will do it. So be content, for now, to wait- wait for your chance to make me regret this.” 

And then he jumped; grabbed onto the huge hand that swept over my head. Then the Coordinate was running- back toward his district; away from me; following Armin's command without hesitation. I tried momentarily to rise; wondered if I should follow.

Found that I couldn't.

 _Weakness…_ I was unfamiliar with the feeling. But my mind was so tangled; my failure so extreme and the pain in my leg and in my chest so intense.

But whether it was due to my steaming leg or the moistening of my eyes, though I never shed a tear, I found that I couldn't manage to rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments make my day~ And I'm always interested in theories, as well as open to critique. ;u;


	7. The Anguish of Armin Arlert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _adore_ this chapter, just saying.  <3 I'm also way too tired to ramble on about it. So. Please enjoy~
> 
> (UAA, amg... *flails and dies*)
> 
>  
> 
> ~~**Drop by and check out some deleted scenes from this fic! They're posted over on my tumblr~ http://3dmgshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/80150404861/the-lost-and-the-caged-deleted-scenes**~~ DUE TO FORMATTING ISSUES I'M FAR TOO TIRED TO DEAL WITH, THE DELETED SCENES WILL BE AVAILABLE TOMORROW.

I wasn't entirely comfortable with the pace at which certain things were progressing... but where certain things were concerned, I couldn't afford to be as careful as I might like.

One of which was the matter of Annie's allies.

The only thing I knew for certain was that there were two of them- that was all. The only person that Annie hung out with with any amount of frequency was the girl Mina Carolina, and I very much doubted that she was a Shifter (by extension, Mina's only other close friend was Millus, and he _certainly_ wasn't a Shifter).

So I had turned to examining others of the 104th. But it was literally a needle in a haystack proposal, finding these two allies of hers by observation alone, and so I had taken more drastic steps. While I would have vastly preferred to play innocent for a good while longer, I tipped my hand; tried to get them to do the same thing, while at the same time giving me insights into others of the 104th who may or may not be of use to me.

It had worked, at least to a certain extent.

I had managed to eliminate a handful of people for certain- Jean; Marco; the Springer kid and Sasha, the potato thief; Thomas Wagner and Mina and Millus. Moreover, most of them had been passing my little tests with flying colors; they were a bit raw, but they could certainly be used when the time came.

As for Annie, I hadn't had any direct contact with her, as of yet. I hadn't, of course, told Eren and Mikasa of her identity; I couldn't predict their response. I wondered if she had told her allies about me; wondered if I would consider it a breach of the contract we had made, or feel some amount of betrayal. Regardless, they knew who we were... even if they might not know which of us was the Coordinate, if Annie hasn't told them. But I couldn't safely assume that; better to assume they knew everything she did.

I cried nearly every night, silently; neither Eren nor Mikasa had caught me, despite the huddle of bodies that was the position we three slept in. If I could put a name to the emotion, they were tears of strained giddiness, I thought. My plans were so close to fruition, so tantalizingly close that I could taste them; reach out and touch them. Yet it had never been so dangerous; I had never been under pressure quite like this. I could feel myself starting to crack, but vehemently denied that fact; I couldn't crack, not yet- not until we were safe, truly safe.

I had to last at least that long. I _could_ last that long; I knew I could. I _had_ to.

My plans would work. They had to, for the sake of all that had been sacrificed.

... ... ...

The barracks were crowded; I was certain that Eren and Mikasa were put even more on edge by the amount of people and the noise than I was. But Eren, despite that, seemed to he settling into military life; the night before the final exam, I stood in the corner of the barrack, watching as my friend exchanged verbal blows with the Kirstein boy, his lip drawn back in a mockery of a smile.

I knew that she was waiting for me; I had seen her follow us to our assigned barack, although hers was on the other end of the encampment. And so, when Mikasa's back was turned for a moment, I slipped out into the cool night air.

Her hands tightened around my neck before I had gone four steps- I felt the pressure of her fingers; knew she could kill me in an instant.

"I could very easily break your neck."

I forced my voice to remain level. "This isn't the first time you've held my life in your hands."

I felt her flinch; guilt lanced through me, but I kept my muscles stiff as I tried not to react to her maddening proximity and the feelings it brought crashing through me in waves.

"It's been two years since then."

"I know. I know that very well."

"Come quietly."

"What choice do I have?"

Her hands drifted away from my throat, although she kept a one-handed grip on the back of my collar. It didn't much matter; I wasn't planning to run. On the contrary, I had planned for this meeting. I let Annie guide me out into the moonlit clearing; out into the forest where most 3D Maneuver Gear training took place. _Though not ours,_ I acknowledged, with a hint of bitterness. _We learned while fighting to survive._ When we had reached a suitably secluded spot, she turned me around to face her; pinned me to a tree. I forced myself not to flinch as I met her gaze.

"Why haven't you turned me in yet?"

That, of all questions, was the one I had been dreading. I had two reasons, and I didn't know which one I wanted to tell her or tell myself.

"... Because I don't want to believe this is happening," I whispered after a moment. 

The girl softened, and I wondered if I was being honest or just playing her again; I actually couldn't tell the difference anymore. _Oh god, Annie…_ I thought briefly, _don't believe me. Don't believe a word I say._

"You don't have to, you know." She sounded... cross; disturbed. "I've told you this before, but Armin... we look after our own. That could very easily include you; that could include Eren, and Mikasa."

 _But mostly, it could include you,_ her eyes said, and I winced slightly.

"Annie-" I began, but she cut in; a bit of her pain seemed to have given way to anger, and I was glad of that.

"What debt do you owe to humanity? What debt do any of you owe humanity?" she asked accusatorially. "You're defending the people that were content to watch you and everyone in your district die! You're defending the system that lets the weak be trampled; that teaches hatred of titans when you don't have the slightest clue as to what they actually are! You're defending people that write off thousands of lives as they tip back a glass of wine and laugh at the jesters they've hired to amuse themselves!"

"And you act as though wiping all of humanity out is the only available option!" I retorted, furious that she was being so stubborn. "I realize that you were raised to do this, but _Walls_ , open your eyes! Think for yourself, please!"

Annie flinched back as though struck, and I felt my stomach twist. _Why am I being so cruel?_ Because it would weaken her- that was the simple answer. It would weaken her now and it would weaken her when we inevitably met in battle.

"Why are you fighting so hard for humanity?" she asked sorrowfully; desperately. "Why side with humanity? Do you really claim to be that... pure of heart? That innocent?"

"Certainly not," I scoffed, feeling slightly insulted. "I'm not innocent _or_ pure of heart, as you surely know."

"Then why?" she repeated, through clenched teeth; I felt a sudden and irresistible urge to be honest with her, amid it all... even if I was unsure of what the truth actually was.

"I'm acting out of self-preservation," I said simply. "Everything I do is for the sake of my survival and the survival of those I care about. The good of humanity is not a factor in my decision-making process; what will afford us the best chance of survival is."

"So you honestly believe that humanity will triumph?" she asked, her voice breathy with disbelief; I shook my head.

"Not necessarily; not as it is now. But I certainly don't think that you will, especially now that the ability of Shifters has been revealed through Eren." _Plus, I can't even consider allying with you until I know your ultimate endgame,_ I added silently, _which even_ you _don't seem to know. Grisha Jaeger had a dozen theories, but I've been systematically disproving most of them... And I certainly can't afford reveal_ my _endgame to_ you _..._

"I don't think we will, either," Annie Leonheart told me, much to my surprise. "Without the Coordinate, we _cannot_ win. The others don't realize it, but Grisha Jaeger did- that's why he risked, and lost, his life awakening Eren's Shifter powers. And he also knew that _with_ the Coordinate, we are _certain_ to win; that's why he told us where to find Eren- because he wanted his son to survive, just like you do. And he knew that we held that chance, with the Coordinate on our side."

"That's similar to what Erwin thinks- that Eren is the only hope humanity has," I replied, letting myself think aloud. "So regardless, Eren is the key."

"And Eren listens to you," Annie said softly. "So, in the end, _you_ are the key."

I smirked; narrowed my eyes. "That's certainly how I planned it," I admitted. "Everything I've done- everything, from the moment that Wall Maria fell, has been to that end. You're sharp to pick up on it."

"Considerably too late," she said, sounding sore. "I bought into your blind little boy act for nearly a week; played right into your hands."

I felt my lips curve slightly. "And you would have died because of it, if all had gone according to plan."

"But it didn't," she said softly; I winced, cursing myself for allowing the words out of my mouth. "Why didn't you allow Eren to kill me? I'll bet you gave him some story about being off on your timing, but you weren't; you're much too good for that. I'm alive because you wanted me alive."

"..." I didn't want to admit that I had grown attached to her. I didn't want to admit that she was the weakness I had tried so desperately to prevent from happening; the infiltration of my emotion, my humanity, into my logic and planning. So I replied with another reason- a reason that was also just as true. "Alive, you could convince your companions not to return to Shiganshina and try to seize Eren by force. Shiganshina's premature destruction would have thrown an irreparable wrench in my plans."

Annie's eyes hardened; I flinched slightly, unable to completely stuff my emotions, as I usually could so well. So, before she could speak, I pressed ahead.

"Why _didn't_ you try again? You couldn't have truly believed that I was capable of destroying the Shifter Village in retaliation?" That possibility had kept me up for weeks after the incident; for _months_. My own impulsive emotionality and last-minute, hollow bluff had threatened the district as a whole, and it had been a terrible struggle to hide my uncertainty and angst from Mikasa and Eren.

"I _didn’t_ think you could, but it simply wasn't worth the risk," Annie replied sorely, and I felt my head tilt automatically to the side.

"Oh? But if you saw through my bluff...?"

"The Coordinate has powers that we can't fathom," she answered simply. "Grisha told us a bit, but I don't think even _he_ had a fantastic grasp on the implications."

"So... you don't actually know what being the Coordinate means?" I asked incredulously, and she shrugged.

"We have a vague idea, but no, not really. Probably a better idea than you, in any case."

"That's most likely true," I admitted wryly. "I know that his titan powers come in handy, but beyond that... well, I haven't needed to know, so I haven't found out."

"Because you automatically know _everything_ that's useful to you," she scoffed, and I felt myself laugh hollowly.

"I try."

She smacked me in the chest; pushed me hard against the tree. "Bastard."

I sighed; reached up and grasped her wrist tiredly. "Annie... Annie." For a moment, I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at her; to feel safe and protected, as I had when I had been in her care. For just that brief span of time, I hadn't had to worry about food; shelter; planning. I had felt cared for. I felt safe with her, as I felt safe with Eren and Mikasa. 

But I burdened myself with the safety and well-being of my dear friends; Annie wasn't like that. A give and a take, yes... but _I_ had been the valuable thing to be protected, the precious child who didn't need to weigh life and death and live with the resulting decision. I longed to feel that way again; I longed to surrender, to ask her to just hold me, because I was confident that I could be content, at peace, just held close by Annie Leonheart for the rest of my life.

"Annie, please don't make us fight you."

"Armin, the power lies with you," she reiterated, and I couldn't bring myself to be proud of that fact. Instead, I felt tears fill my eyes; they stung with bitterness, because I couldn't tell if they were real or just conditioned fakes.

"Annie, I just... I don't want to be the one to make that choice...!" Was that the truth? A lie? Was I confiding in her? Or playing her?

I felt her soften; I felt her lean forward slightly. "I don't want to fight you either, Armin. But I will not abandon my companions, as much as you won't abandon yours. And they will not abandon the Mission; even if I thought they might, I don't know if I'd try to convince them to. _You_ are the variable; _you_ decide which side the Coordinate assists, and therefore which side triumphs."

A sob was torn from my throat. I knew it was true; I had manipulated every variable to make it so. And now I had to live with that.

"... I can't, Annie. The complete destruction of humanity offers us no future. _You_ offer us no future."

Annie sighed; shook her head. "And I know that I won't be able to convince you otherwise." She let her hand slide from my chest; allowed my hand to fall, limp, to my side. She turned; murmured, "Then we'll be enemies until the end."

"Annie!" Was it strategy or emotion driving me? Was it possible for it to be both? "I haven't told the others about you. I haven't told anyone."

"... I had assumed," she said, slowly, "from the way you were acting. What of it?"

"I won't," I said, honestly. "Annie, I'll let this war play out as it will; I won't tip the scale, one way or another."

"'So Annie, wait for me?'" she guessed, somewhat caustically, and I shrugged.

"Always have a back up plan." Emotion choked me; I barely got the words out.

"... I suppose I can tolerate that," she murmured, after a moment, "being your back-up. But if you die before then, then that will be that."

"Of course," I whispered. "The same for you and yours, of course."

And, with that simple, tenuous agreement, Annie Leonheart and I parted ways.

I felt emotion swamp me as I slumped to the ground, face buried in my hands. My plans were coming to fruition at last, but at what cost...? At the cost to my humanity? _As if wanting to side with Titan Shifters out to destroy the Walls denotes humanity,_ I thought, somewhat amused.

But no- it was the desire to love and be loved that was so painfully human; the desire that I was killing for the good of my plans and plots. It obviously wasn't dead yet, for all the pain it was causing me.

"Armin!!"

"Armin!!"

I looked up at the sounds of my two friends, crashing through the bushes towards me. I couldn't let them see; I couldn't begin to let them see. They were the only people left in the world that I didn't lie to; who knew me for what I was, and for what I had become. They couldn't ask me; they couldn't question it.

Because then I would have to lie to them.

So I wiped my tears; thanked fate that it was dark out. Then I straightened my back, crossed my legs beneath me, and raised my head.

"Mikasa? Eren? I'm right over here."

My two friends emerged through the undergrowth, Mikasa with considerably more grace and less noise than Eren, who dropped down beside me a moment later.

"Armin, what are you doing?! Are you hurt?!"

I smiled benignly at my friend- my dear friend. "Goodness no. I'm just thinking. It's too noisy in the barracks." None of which were lies.

Eren relaxed, but then grasped my shoulder. "You shouldn't go anywhere alone, you know that! We need to stay together; we always need to be together."

I maintained the smile; patted Eren's hand. "I know, I know. I just need a bit of peace and quiet once in a while. Don't worry, Eren." Again, a lie-free piece of information.

Mikasa came over slowly, looking down on the both of us. "I know you take him seriously, Armin, but I have to reiterate," she said gravely. "This is a dangerous world; none of us should be alone, no matter for how long or for what reason. If you wanted silence, we would have come out here with you and then kept watch from the trees."

"I know," I said, trying to look sufficiently repentant. "You two were just mingling so well with the other children; I didn't feel like intruding." Almost a lie, but not quite; not quite.

Mikasa huffed, genuinely annoyed; Eren just seemed relieved that I was alright. At his indication I rose; brushed myself off.

"Fine, let's head back to the barracks; I'm not making any headway here, anyway." Also not a lie.

Mikasa cocked her head; peered at me slowly, with one raised eyebrow. "Is there... anything wrong?"

I felt my heart plummet. "No, nothing wrong. A minor detail, certainly."

A lie. A blatant lie.

... ... ...

"Hey, where's Thomas?"

"I dunno; haven't seen him since... wait..."

"When was the last time you guys saw Thomas?"

"I don't... come to think of it, he wasn't at dinner last night..."

I groaned; dragged clawed fingers through my hair as I tuned out the rest of their conversation. Shaking my head as I emerged from the shallow sleep I allowed myself, I waited for the other cadets to leave before turning to Eren.

"Really, Eren? Really?"

My friend raised his chin defiantly. "You can't tell me the shit they're feeding us does it for you, Armin?"

"It does it just fine for me, Eren," I sighed. "Where's the body?"

"What's left of it?" my friend asked with a smirk, and I grimaced. "Buried behind the latrines at the edge of the forest. I'll probably go back and finish-"

"God damnit, Eren!!" I snapped, and saw him flinch. With a hurried glance around, I lowered my voice. "Do you want to blow our cover, you... you idiot?! Thinking with your damn stomach again..."

"S-Sorry..." my friend stammered; surprised, and rightfully so, that I had snapped.

"Armin." Mikasa's stern voice sounded behind me, and I rounded on her. "How long do you want us to keep this up? Eren may enjoy playing at being a soldier, like when we were children, but I'm less inclined to let this stretch on for much longer."

"Do you trust me?" I hissed, irrationally desperate for the answer. "Since when do you question my decisions- my orders?"

"Since you seem to be coming undone at the seems," my friend pointed out dryly. "You seem as bad as Eren, some days."

I flinched, feeling her words like knives. "I'm under a lot of strain," I retorted. "It's all I can do to mask that in public; are you telling me I have to put on a damn mask with you two now, so you'll trust me?!"

"You've been wearing a mask with us for some time," Mikasa pointed out, truthfully. "And you've never given so much as a hint about what your precious endgame actually is. Don't _you_ trust _us_?"

I drew back my lip. "No, I don't; not in this arena. I trust you with my life, with my very soul, but not with my plans. My calculations assume ignorance on your part; on Eren's part. I can't manipulate all the variables I need to without that intact."

"And I'm growing tired of that, Armin." Mikasa's voice was low and dangerous; I flinched back, feeling something deep inside me snap. "I'm tired of being treated like a pawn. I am not; Eren is not."

"Why can't you just believe the I'm acting in our best interest?!" I wailed, desperate. "Everything I've done is for the good of us- the three of us! Every sacrifice I've made, every sleepless night, every scrap of my humanity that I've shorn off and watched die! Everything is for you; is for Eren! I wouldn't be going to such lengths if it was just me on the line; why can't you see that, and just trust me?!"

"Mikasa..." Eren's voice was frail, and I felt his arms around my shoulders. Suddenly, a sob wracked me; I covered my face with one hand, humiliated and horrified that I was crying yet again. But I couldn't help it, my whole body shaking with the force of my sobs.

Was I really crying, though?

Or was this just another manipulation? A manipulation of my best friends?

I couldn't tell. I couldn't tell.

I couldn't _fucking_ tell.

Mikasa softened visibly. "Armin... I realize that you've got a lot to worry about..." I saw her bite her lip; saw the reservations in her eyes. "I'll... make sure that Eren and I don't add to that load."

Nodding miserably, I pulled away from Eren's embrace. "Thank you... Mikasa. This'll all work, you know; you'll see. I know it'll work."

I wasn't that certain; a large portion of my plan, for once, was riding on the consent of an outside party. I had contingencies, of course, for if that didn't happen... but I didn't like the look of them. If _he_ fell through, then I'd have to get a lot more blood on my hands than I was entirely enthusiastic about; if I had to resort to any of those horrible contingencies, I knew that Mikasa, at least, would never trust me again.

But it would keep the three of us alive; that was what was important.

"Let's go,” the girl murmured. “We're late for roll, and its the day of the exam."

"Eren, Mikasa... don't pull your punches. I want the two of you in the top ten."

"And you?" Mikasa queried; I decided it would be alright to disclose my plans for just the next hour or so.

"No, I'll be holding back. I want you two noticed, not me. I'll pass the physical tests, but barely.

"Where I won't be holding back is the written test. That's where I'll make sure _I’m_ noticed, hopefully by one Commander Erwin Smith."

... ... ...

The written test was laughably easy; I finished in a fraction of the allotted time, and so made my way back to the training grounds to watch Mikasa and Eren's physical tests.

Mikasa was, of course, flawless; I felt a brief flare of pride in my friend's skill. Eren was a bit shakier, more accustomed to fighting as a titan than a human, but he performed well enough to make the ten, at least. I grimaced slightly, remembering my own exam in the earlier group; I had intentionally slammed into a tree, upon realizing that I was doing entirely too well; I suspected that Erwin Smith would be able to tell I had thrown the results, which suited me perfectly. He was the one man that I _wanted_ to see through my plans... at least so far as I wanted him to.

"Annie Leonheart."

I stiffened as Shadis called out the cadet on the list after Eren. I watched the girl take her place at the starting line; tense her muscles.

_Annie..._

_Who are your allies?_

I watched as the girl glided through the test course, every strike landing perfectly; every turn artfully executed. She cut a gorgeous figure in the air, her flawless grace captivating in every sense of the word. Titan powers be damned, she would be a formidable adversary. I tried to keep our last conversation from my mind; failed.

"Annie..."

She couldn't possibly have heard my whisper- and yet she did. Her gaze found me in the crowd, and for an instant our eyes met. I saw it all, in those crystalline blue depths: her torment, hesitation; the questions that kept her up at night and the longing, the fierce longing for the ability to change fate itself. I wondered if my soul was laid that bare for her, as well.

Her anchor detached suddenly; I held her gaze as she fell, unable to determine whether the misstep had been intention, as mine had been, or an unfortunate accident. Either way, she landed with laudable grace- but the fall was still a penalty that she wouldn't easily make up for.

"What was that?!"

My ears perked at the whispered question just behind me; I recognized the voice as one of our classmates, one Reiner Braun. He had definitely made my list of suspects, and his interest in Annie's sudden fall piqued _my_ interest.

"I-It looked like she was distracted by something." That was Bertholdt Hoover; if one of them, Reiner or Bertholdt, was involved, there was an absurdly high probability that the other was as well. "Someone in the crowd."

"But none of those three should be here. Who else could break her concentration like that?"

I felt my spine stiffen to the point of breaking. _Eren and Mikasa are in Annie's group... and I'm supposed to still be in my written test…_ Obviously they hadn't noticed that I was standing just one row in front of them; could hear every word they were saying amid the babble of conversation. With the ease of practice, I blocked out all background noise; let my vision go black as I honed in on their whispered words alone.

"If she doesn't make it into the top ten, we'll have problems."

"I don't think it's that big a deal. We'll just take the MP, then, and let her join the Survey Corps. A-And that's only if Trost fails, which is unlikely."

_Trost... if Trost... fails…_

"I still don't see why we're going through with Trost. We know where the Coordinate is; who he is."

“B-But he won't join us as easily as we hoped. We have to show him that he has no other choice, if _a-anyone_ he cares about is to survive."

I felt electricity running up my spine; the longer I stayed put, the more likely it was that the two fools would spot me. But if I moved, I would attract attention to myself. Plus, their whispered conversation contained such an impossible wealth of intel that I could barely keep my ravenous hunger for the information in check.

"When Trost falls, he'll have no choice."

"That's what Annie thinks, at least. He'll have to see the reason in joining us."

Somehow, I knew that the 'he' they were talking about- that Annie was talking about -was not Eren, but _me_. Annie knew that I had the final say as to which side Eren backed (the morning's argument notwithstanding). This attack on Trost- for an attack it had to be -was her attempt to convince me that there was no future with humanity.

 _But... Annie... there's no future_ without _humanity, either._

Suddenly, my collar was grabbed; I let out a squeak of surprise, finding myself dragged backwards and then spun to face the very two people I had been eavesdropping on just a moment before.

"It is him!" Bertholdt Hoover exclaimed. "You're supposed to be in testing!"

I smiled meekly. "I-I know," I said, trying to make myself look as confused and harmless as I could. "I-I finished early, so I thought I'd come and watch Eren and Mikasa's tests!"

"Annie's gonna kill us..." Reiner groaned, without releasing my collar. I cocked my head.

"Annie...? Oh! D-Did you guys come to watch Annie?"

Reiner gave me a distasteful look, and I realized the charade was useless. He knew exactly who I was, what I knew, and what I had just learned. So I let my expression settle into a self-assured smirk.

"Well? What do you plan on doing to me, with all these witnesses? If I call out, Eren will transform; I don't think you want the existence of Shifters revealed quite yet." I wouldn't, of course; I didn't want Eren's powers to be revealed as much as they didn't want it. But I doubted these two would call my bluff.

Annie would have; not these two.

Reluctantly, Reiner placed me back on my feet. "The real question is, what will _you_ do, now that you know?"

Turning, trying to quell my violent shivering so that I could at least maintain my composure for my exit, I glanced back over my shoulder.

"I'll do what I do best- plan."

... ... ...

I returned to the barracks after that; found them deserted. I remembered the first time I had been there, with Annie; when that blessed deception of mine had been intact. Without thinking, I went to the corner bunk and crawled onto it, wishing she was there to lift me up.

 _Annie…_ Her scent comforted me; convinced me, for just a moment, that I didn't have to plan or plot anything, let alone the defeat of her and hers. I wanted to crawl beneath the sheets and never emerge, simply bury myself in her scent and hide from the world.

"Oh! Armin!"

I glanced up at the voice; smiled tiredly at the potato thief.

"Sasha."

She looked just like the first time I had seen her- arms and mouth filled with stolen food, red-faced at having been caught. I held out a hand.

"The price of my silence."

Suddenly, recognition lit her eyes. "W-wai... Wait, y-you couldn't be...?!"

But I shook my head. "That was all a dream, Sasha; just a dream. Forget all about it; it'll drive you mad, if you don't."

She was looking at me carefully, now; it disturbed me less than it should have, her sudden recollection. "But... no, no! I'm certain! It _was_ you, Armin! T-two years ago...!"

I sighed; Sasha had been a complication to begin with, but such a minor one that I had let her be. Hopping off the bed, I took a piece of meat from her; bit into it before speaking.

"Don't make me kill you, Sasha. There's been too much sacrifice already. Just forget two years ago; this is the reality of the situation."

"B-But..." the girl began helplessly, and I shot her a baleful look.

"Don't over think it, Sasha. If you value your own potato-thieving life, just don't over think it."

... ... ...

"The top ten graduates, in order, are as follows!" Shadis barked out, and I felt Eren stiffen beside me. His was trembling with genuine excitement- I noted the disassociations appearing within his personality, acknowledging that the longer we kept up this game of soldiers, the worse his mental state would become. _And mine as well…_ I thought wryly. _Best to end this... soon…_

"First in the class: Mikasa Ackerman!"

My friend lifted her chin as she stepped forward, her air one of disinterested pride.

"Second: Bertholdt Hoover!"

His shifty eyes were on me as he went meekly forward; saluted a bit shakily. I wondered if his timidity was an act or his real personality; wondered if he, like me, couldn't tell the difference anymore.

"Third: Reiner Braun!"

He seemed genuinely pleased; didn't spare me a glance, but strutted forward and saluted boldly. _Disassociation perhaps, like Eren is developing...? But... far more severe…_

"Fourth: Eren Jaeger!"

I felt my friend come alive beside me, his face lighting up. I hardly had time to touch his shoulder- in both warning and congratulation -before he bounded up to take his place in line.

"Fifth: Jean Kirstein!"

"How the hell did _Jaeger_ beat me?" Jean grumbled as he passed me, and I smiled slightly. I had grown fond of the smart-aleck fool despite myself, in a detached sort of way.

"Sixth: Marco Bold!"

The freckled boy was all smiles as he took his place beside his best friend Jean; he, too, I wished circumstances would have allowed me to befriend. _Such a gentle, noble soul... unsuited to this filthy, violent world…_

"Seventh: Sasha Blaus!"

The potato thief shot me a brief look; I smiled slightly, mouthing 'Congrats.' I wished her no ill; I hoped she wouldn't decide to interfere.

"Eight: Connie Springer!"

The first to approach us; the first to try to befriend us, foolish though that was. I hoped he would live a long and happy life, after all this was over.

"Ninth: Krista Lenz!"

I didn't know much about the tiny blonde girl, but she seemed far too fragile for the role she was to play in the world. I think everyone, including her, was surprised that she had made the top ten.

"Tenth: Ymir!"

For some reason, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end whenever I looked at the freckled girl; I watched carefully as she took her place beside Krista, placing a hand on the smaller girl's shoulder and smiling. _Why does she unnerve me so badly...?_

"The highest written test score was achieved by Armin Alert!" Shadis announced, and I acknowledged him with a slight nod; felt a flicker of pride despite myself. _No... no. This isn't real... my score doesn't matter, only the results of that score…_

I noticed Annie, a few people away from me in the crowd, scowling slightly. After a moment, I couldn't resist; making myself as small as I could, I slipped up beside her.

"Did you throw the test on purpose?"

"Like you did?" she asked, and I shrugged.

"Sure."

Annie Leonheart sighed. "No. No, this certainly wasn't part of any ingenious plan of mine. Something distracted me in the middle of the test."

"I wonder what that could have been," I murmured, and she shot me an annoyed look.

"You're a real jackass, you know that?"

I laughed slightly. "No one's ever said it in as many words."

"More people should."

I shook my head ruefully. "I'm not about to argue with that..." I murmured. Then I let myself lean slightly sideways, until I was pressed to her side. "I'm tired, Annie."

"I'm not surprised."

"Can I rest here? Just until the end of the ceremony?"

"... Just until the end of the ceremony."

"Thanks, Annie."

Thomas Wagner never showed up for graduation.

... ... ...

"Military Police, here I come!!" Jean cried cheerfully, toasting Marco. "We're gonna make the two best Military Policemen Sina's ever seen, Marco! And we'll never have to worry about getting our heads bitten off by any damn titans!"

"I'm so pumped!" Connie exclaimed, bumping fists with Sasha. "This is gonna be amazing! And we all get to stay together, too!"

The whole 104th was atwitter with celebration and congratulation, especially those who had made the top ten. Annie was sitting with Mina, Millus, and a few others; Ymir was as drunk as was physically possible, leaning heavily on Krista; Berthold and Reiner had socialized for a while, knocked back a few drinks, and then retired to the barracks early.

I felt like I wanted to throw up.

Eren was just as excited as the others- mild to moderate disassociation, I was now certain. He would have to be handled with more care than usual. Mikasa seemed to have noticed, too; his hostility toward the other recruits had momentarily vanished, although I suspected a few spiked drinks had helped a bit with that. But even Mikasa was talking somewhat amicably to Sasha; exchanging tips with Marco; not punching Jean in the face when he complimented her hair.

She was smiling, if shallowly; if hesitantly.

They were both letting themselves have a taste of camaraderie; of lighthearted cheer. 

Just for the one night.

I wanted to join them; I wanted to let it all go. But I couldn't, and I knew I couldn't. So instead I wanted to disappear; I wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep, perhaps steal Annie's blanket and hide in her scent, just for the night. I wanted to feel safe, just for the one night.

But I couldn't do that, either. I had to stay; I had to stay and watch over my friends.

And so I did, feeling myself slowly suffocate among the gaiety and freedom.

... ... ...

I slept alone that night, several feet from my companions instead of pressing my body against theirs, as I usually did. Mikasa seemed unnerved by this, but I assured her that everything was fine; I could sense mistrust festering in the back of her mind, and that burned me far worse than the fires of hell I was certainly bound for. I didn't sleep well, needless to say, and dragged myself from the bed before dawn stained the sky. I headed for the showers, hoping to clear my troubled mind.

The showers, though communal, were deserted at such an early hour. I stripped down to my skin and turned the water on as hot as I could stand it; wondered, briefly, if I could scald away the coating of lies plastered across my skin, the slimy film that existed only in my mind. Turning my face up toward the water, I closed my eyes; took a deep breath, feeling water invade my lungs but undisturbed by the sensation. I smirked as my body failed to react; took the assault as if it were already dead. _I really am a walking corpse, then... my body has stopped wanting to live…_

"Armin."

I opened my eyes; blinked away the water and then looked over my shoulder, heedless of- perhaps even relishing -my nakedness as I faced my enemy.

"Bertholdt. Didn't sleep well?"

He shook his head. "Worse than usual. You?"

I smiled tiredly. "The same."

His eyes were mournful; I felt my muscles flex involuntarily beneath his gaze, aware that my whole body testified to what sorts of hell I had lived through. Bertholdt flinched; I turned slightly sideways, so that my scarred back wasn't quite as visible.

"Are you going to kill me?"

The Shifter looked away. "L-Like Jaeger killed Thomas?" he asked softly, and I couldn't stop myself from chuckling.

"Not exactly. I don't think you would eat me."

The tall boy looked at me with pleading eyes. "Why do you have to make this so difficult? We wouldn't even have to attack Trost if the Coordinate would just join us! Why are you forcing us to get more blood on our hands?!"

I shrugged. "Because it suits me and mine. That's the reason I do anything."

Bertholdt hissed softly. "Damn your riddles!" he spat. "We do this because we have to- you do it because it suits you! Do you have any idea how many lives your stubbornness is going to cost- is going to force _us_ to take? I didn't think anyone was capable of such voluntarily atrocities!” 

I remained untouched by his words; I knew they should have hurt me, but they simply didn't. "It isn't voluntary- none of my actions are voluntary. I simply look at the situation and determine the course of action that affords us three the best chance of survival, and that is the course that I take. It doesn't matter what I want; all that matters is what's best for them."

My enemy looked down, seeming ashamed; I closed my eyes, too, feeling the boiling water bounce off my scared back. Then he looked up at me, his eyes once again imploring.

"Answer me one thing honestly, no riddles. I'll answer one question in return."

"Lying is my trade," I said, honesty. "Would you really trust a deal like that?"

"But you have your honor," the Shifter replied evenly. "The fact that you haven't just turned us in proves that. Annie hasn't told us much, but I've pieced together some of it- you made a promise to her that you haven't broken."

I flinched, for the first time in the conversation. "Alright... I'll accept your terms, if you'll trust me on that basis."

Bertholdt nodded, seeming satisfied. "Alright. Here's my question, then: if we win at Trost, will that be enough to convince you that your best chance of survival lies with us; enough for you to ally with us?"

I had considered that possibility before, and did my best to answer honestly; to cling to what little honor and pride I had left. "Yes. I would, in fact, consider it the only option left open to us if that occurred."

His expression eased slightly. "Alright, your turn."

There were a thousand questions I could have asked: "What is 'the Coordinate?'" "What role did Grisha Jaeger play in all this?" "When will the attack on Trost be?" "Why do you need the Coordinate so badly?" "What do you have to do with the Ape and its plans?" I could have asked anything, and been guaranteed an answer.

But what I ended up asking was, "Will Annie be fighting at Trost, as a Shifter?"

Bertholdt looked surprised; obviously, he had expected me to ask something far more significant. But it was the final variable in my planning for the attack on Trost; I needed to know if we would be fighting her directly. After a moment, the Shifter managed to get his surprise under control enough to reply.

"That... depends upon you," he said quietly. "If Eren transforms to fight on behalf of humanity, Annie will transform to counter him. If not, we have no reason to risk that."

I nearly wailed aloud- yet another decision that rested on my shoulders; another call I had to make. Although, to be fair, there wasn't that much question about which course of action I was going to take.

"If Eren doesn't transform, Trost will be lost."

"Undoubtedly."

"And then we'll have no choice to join you."

"By your own admission, that would be the logical next step."

I sighed; turned away and back toward the stream of water, which had long since gone cold. "Very well, then. So be it."

"... I'm sorry, Armin."

"... I'm not. I can't... afford to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!! ;w; Critique and theories more than welcome~


	8. The Conflict at Trost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes chapter 8! This one was a blast to write- I liked revisiting Eren's POV. It's been a long, long time since chapter 1. o_o Although it was incredibly tricky to get right, considering Eren isn't entirely... stable? Haha.

Perhaps humans weren't quite as bad as I had thought- at least not all of them.

All the old excitement was returning to me, after years and years- the idea of fighting titans alongside trusted comrades, of joining the Survey Corps and going Outside the Walls. I wanted to be a soldier- I wanted to be a child again, with bloodless dreams and a home to return to.

I wanted to make Mom proud.

But then... I also wanted to avenge her.

The others were talking about which branch they were planning to enter; I wanted to join in, but I was a bit disgusted by their chatter. Human voices usually unnerved me, although less so after spending a week with the 104th Training Division. I found that I frequently needing to remind myself that I wasn't really a part of the Division- we were only here because it suited Armin, and it wasn't my place to question him.

But for some reason, I wanted to question him. I wanted very badly to question him. 

"Guys! Guys, look what I got!"

I looked up from my task of polishing the fixed canon, my nostrils flaring at the scent the girl was carrying with her. _Meat..._

"Where'd you get that, Sasha?!" Connie demanded; the girl was trembling and drooling.

"F-From the O-Officers' quarters! We can all share it! We c-can make _sandwiches_!"

I felt the muscles of my back twitch; glanced over at where Mikasa and Armin were working with a different section of the Division. I knew that they'd both want me to leave well enough alone, but I wanted that meat- I _wanted_ it. My teeth ached; my stomach growled.

Thomas Wagner seemed a long time ago.

The others, however, were chatting animatedly- ignoring me. They were first telling Sasha to put it back, lest they get in trouble; then Sasha exclaimed excitedly that, once they reclaimed Maria, the food shortage would be over- that they _could_ reclaim Maria; they _could_ end the food shortage for everyone. And, slowly, each of them agreed to share the meat; began to get excited.

A small whine escaped my throat- I wanted to share in their excitement more than I wanted the meat. But I knew I couldn't have either. I wasn't a part of the 104th Training Division; I was no longer a part of humanity, and I never would be again. So I lowered my head and kept working, trying to block out the distracting scents and sounds of the humans.

"Hey, Eren?"

I glanced up in surprise at my name, my lip curling back reflexively but the expression without hostility- I was simply confused. Sasha Blause stood a few feet from me, a cautious smile on her face.

"Would you like some, too?"

I blinked, a befuddled mess of emotions clogging my throat for a moment. But then I swallowed; let myself smile hesitantly, loathe to over-think it.

"S-Sure, Sasha! Th... Thanks!"

... ... ...

"Eren?"

Armin knew something was off with me- I could tell. My feet turned inward slightly as I fidgeted, making a soft whimpering sound in the back of my throat. Mikasa's eyes were on me, too- more concerned and less judgmental than those of my other friend. Almost subconsciously, I shuffled slightly closer to her. But I couldn't back out now- I had a question, and I had to ask it.

"Armin... are you going to kill the 104th?"

My friend's eyebrows arched. "Only if they interfere with my plans- rather, if they don't conform to my plans."

I gulped; the taste of Sasha's meat was still thick in the back of my throat. "Well... I was... thinking..."

"'Thinking?'" Armin echoed, and I winced.

"Yeah. Couldn't we just... let things be? There's... no reason for anything more," I said softly. "Couldn't we just... do this soldier thing for a bit longer?"

Armin sighed, and I felt my shoulders sag at his expression. "Eren, you're disassociating," he told me. "You're forming a new personality based on this soldier persona you like playing so much."

I bristled slightly with indignation. "I am not! I really think this, Armin- it wouldn't be so bad!"

"And when one of your new little friends irritates you, or reminds you of the thugs that killed your mother?" he asked calmly, and I flinched. "You'll just kill them, like you killed the Wagner boy."

"But... but these guys aren't like that!" I objected, and they weren't. "They're not ordinary humans- they're soldiers!"

"The Deserters were military men, too," Armin pointed out. "They went bad even quicker than the civilians, and you know it."

"But Hannes was a soldier, too!" I objected. "A-And he wasn't like that!" Hannes had told me to get stronger- and this was what I had wanted to use my strength for, when I was merely a child; when I hadn't known the evils of humanity.

I didn't _want_ to know the evils of humanity.

"Eren." Armin's voice was firm, inviting no further argument. "This was never going to be a permanent arrangement- it was alway going to be a means to a greater end. Be content with that, and try not to get too attached."

"I'm not on Eren's side," Mikasa began slowly, and my heart sank, "but Armin... please tell us what this 'greater end' that you're so fixated on is."

My friend's blue eyes turned hazy; dreamy. "It's what I've been preparing for since the moment the world ended," he murmured. "And its nearly here."

"You'll need to be a bit more specific," Mikasa said dryly, and my ears perked as Armin gave her a baleful look.

"These things are not for you to know- not yet," he said. "But it is the time to tell you this: there will be a battle; I don't know when, but it will be soon."

"A battle?" Mikasa queried; my blonde friend nodded. "Against who? And for what?"

"For Trost," Armin replied. "But also for our lives. And you'll know our enemies when you see them."

"Against the 104th?" I asked, a bit worried, and Armin shot me a sympathetic look.

"You'll know our enemies when you see them," he repeated. "And Eren- you'll need to obey me to the letter; do not question me in the heat of battle."

"O-of course not," I murmured. I might question Armin during moments like these, when all was calm, but I wouldn't dream of it in the middle of a fight.

"Mikasa." My sister stiffened as Armin addressed her. "You'll have a bit more freedom; I know you're growing tired of my orders, anyway."

"I'm only tired of being kept in the dark," Mikasa said softly. "Armin, I'd follow you to the ends of the earth; you know that."

My blonde friend softened visibly, his eyes gaining the sheen of unshed tears. "Thank you, Mikasa. I swear, it won't be much longer... it won't... be."

I moved forward slightly. Armin looked ready to collapse or worse; he looked ready to break down and start screaming. Nudging his cheek gently with my nose, I nuzzled into his neck and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. "Tell me if you're not. I'll kill anyone you want me to."

Sighing softly, Armin ran his hand through my hair, knotting his fingers behind my head. "Eren... thank you. I love you, Eren."

I chirruped softly; it was unlike Armin to express such things. "I love you too, Armin."

For a moment, I thought he wasn't going to let go. But then he drew back; wiped his nose and eyes on his sleeve, which was too big for his tiny hands.

"Thank you, Eren."

"Hmm?" Mikasa made a questioning sound, holding open her arms; laughing softly, Armin obliged, burying his face in her chest. "It's been a long time since you've let us hold you."

"I'm frightened," Armin admitted, his voice muffled, "that our time is limited. I'm not... sure this will... work."

Coming up from behind him, I rubbed his shoulder with one hand; leaned in and murmured in his ear, "Armin, it'll work. Your plans always do."

My friend laughed softly- bitterly. I didn't see how he could still doubt himself, when Mikasa and I never did. We would gladly jump into a titan's maw if he told us to, trusting absolutely that he'd somehow manage to get us out. Mikasa might throw a fit now and then, but she never truly doubted him.

If we doubted him, we would die; we both knew it.

Drawing back from Mikasa, Armin pressed himself briefly into me and then stepped away. "Alright... alright," he murmured, straightening his shirt. "Now, this battle- it won't be easy. Mikasa, I want you to stick mostly with the humans; there are several variables I haven't pinned down yet. However, keep an eye on Bertholdt Hoover and Reiner Braun... and watch your back when you're near them."

Mikasa's eyebrows arched. "Alright. And what about Miss Annie Leonheart?"

Armin stiffened. "What about her?" he asked, his voice slightly strained. I could tell we had caught him off-guard; he rarely got this flustered. I was surprised he didn't know that we had caught on.

"We're not blind," Mikasa said, a bit put out. "We've both noticed."

"You smell like her," I added; it was true. I was surprised when he rounded on me, his eyes liquid pools of misery.

"I... smell like her...?" he asked softly, and I nodded.

"Yeah. Faintly, but distinctly."

Armin's face split into a tragic, disturbing smile. "That's... nice. That... that means a lot." Then he turned to Mikasa, his emotions visibly settling. "Steer clear of her, too."

"She's an enemy?" I asked curiously. "But you care for her, and she cares for you." Again he looked surprised, and even I started to feel a bit insulted. "I know I'm not at sharp as you, but I've noticed. Mikasa, too."

"We aren't blind," my sister repeated. "We know you've been in a lot of pain, and that Leonheart is partially responsible. But you didn't want our help, and it didn't seem dangerous, so we stayed out of it."

Armin closed his eyes for a long moment; let out a shaky sigh. "You two... are the best friends I could ever ask for. I'll never be worthy of you two." Then he looked up, eyes shining with sadness and confidence. "Yes, Annie is an enemy. Do not let your guard down around her."

"She's the Female Titan, isn't she?" Mikasa asked, and I gave a trill of surprise; this time, Armin didn't flinch as he nodded.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell us?" I yelped, and he shot me a baleful glance.

"I didn't want to tip my hand until I discovered who her accomplices were and what their plan was."

"And her accomplices are Reiner and Bertholdt?" Mikasa asked.

"Yes."

"And the battle will be against them?"

"Yes."

"And the rest of the 104th?" I asked, then looked down a bit shamefacedly as Armin gave me a curious look. He answered anyway, despite his obvious disapproval.

"Most are clueless. I'm not sure about the Ymir girl- I can't figure out if she knows more than the others or if she just has an attitude problem."

That made Mikasa snort with amusement. "Perhaps both."

Armin smiled ruefully. "Perhaps both," he acknowledged.

"The Female Titan," I began, then stalled as my mind corrected itself, "I-I mean... _Annie_ talked about 'others.' Are the others Reiner and Bertholdt?"

"So far as I can figure," Armin said. "She told me that she had two allies- and they're Bertholdt and Reiner, unless she's gained more allies in the past two years, which I doubt. I'm about ninety percent sure they're Shifters, as well. I've been gathering information about the breach of Maria, and apparently there were two very unusual titans present- one that stood at 60 meters tall, named the Colossal Titan, which kicked in the outer gate, and one that rammed Wall Maria, called the Armored Titan. But no one here saw them firsthand, so those could just be rumors- I'm especially skeptical about the so-called Armored Titan, seeing as I can't get a reliable description of it."

"But wouldn't it make sense?" Mikasa asked. "If Annie is a Shifter, and lets say Bertholdt is the so-called Colossal Titan (judging from physical characteristics), wouldn't it make sense for Reiner to be a Shifter, as well? This Armored Titan?"

"Yes..." Armin said slowly, "and currently I _am_ operating on that assumption. I've already, in fact, taken certain steps. However, not everyone from what Grisha called 'The Shifter Village' is actually a Shifter; about sixty percent of them are. That shouldn't be overlooked."

"'Sixty?'" Mikasa echoed. "That sounds awfully low."

"It is," my blonde friend replied. "Though Grisha's data isn't one hundred percent reliable either; it was a few years old even before the Fall."

Mikasa nodded. "Alright... I think I understand." Then she turned to me. "Eren? Are you alright with this?"

I nodded; of course I was alright with anything the two of them told me. "Yeah. Just tell me who I need to fight, and I'll do it."

"You'll most likely be fighting Annie," Armin told me, and my sister stiffened.

"Annie? But that would mean..."

"Yes; he'll need to Shift."

"That would break our agreement with Erwin," I pointed out; Armin shot me a look that said he was well aware, and didn't bother to answer.

"And you want me to be ready if either Reiner or Bertholdt Shifts, right?" my sister asked; Armin nodded.

"Exactly."

"Oi, Eren!" My head shot up at Jean's voice; I glanced at Armin, asking permission, and received a nod. I smiled and butted my head briefly against his, gripped my sister's shoulder, and then ran off to join the humans.

"Yeah?" I queried, cocking my head; Jean went to smack me upside the head but I dodged, laughing slightly as he glowered at me.

"Get back to work. We aren't gonna make up for you slacking off!"

"More likely I'll have to make up for your shoddy job, Horse-Face!" I replied huffily, feeling excitement bubble up in me at the playful banter. I didn't care what Armin said- this was exactly what I had wanted as a child, and I wasn't going to give it up so easily. Jean pissed me off, but in such a non-threatening way that it was refreshing; his insults and strikes didn't require violence, just a snappy comeback or light blow that didn't aim to break bone.

It wasn't life or death, for once.

"No..." I murmured, as Jean turned away, muttering something crossly under his breath. "Shifters be damned... titans be damned. I'm gonna be a soldier, Hannes.

"I'm gonna be a soldier, Mom."

A sudden crash sounded behind me, the wave of heat that accompanied it sufficient to knock me off balance and send me stumbling forward. I skidded; turned, amid the screams of my newfound comrades.

And the titan met my gaze.

_Sixty... meters..._ When Armin had said it, I hadn't realized exactly how huge sixty meters was. I had seen my share of titans, but never one so massive, so...

"... Colossal."

"Eren!!" Armin's scream was nearly drowned in the rush of air as the titan opened its mouth, releasing a wave of steam that scalded my flesh; I raised my arms to protect my face. _Does Armin want me to transform?_ I thought frantically. _Is that what he's screaming for? Or is he screaming for me_ not _to transform?!_ Even if I transformed, I doubted I could fight this titan- I would be as powerless as a human attacking a Common Titan. So I crouched down, bracing myself against the virtual gale as the titan breathed out.

"Samuel!!" I heard Sasha shriek; I was aware of bodies flying through the air, knocked from the Wall by the titan's steam alone. But I wasn't about to let that be me; I dug my nails into the grooves between bricks, bracing my whole body and forcing my spine to remain as rigid as it could without snapping. I felt the flesh on my face start to fry in the heat, but disregarded it; didn't move.

And then the Wall shook beneath me. I lost my grip on the stone as it began to crumble; panic making my chest tighten, I shot out my Gear's cables to get a grip on the failing plaster. The titan held my gaze for a moment longer, then vanished amid a flurry of steam; if I hadn't already been knocked loose, most of my flesh would have been burned clean off by the heat.

_That bastard undid the Shift,_ I realized, releasing my cable and reorienting myself in the air. _That must... have been Bertholdt... the Colossal Titan..._

Reattaching my cable to a stable section of the Wall, I looked around; my face and hands prickled with the sensation of healing. Sasha was hanging a few feet to my left, an unconscious Samuel hanging from her other cable. Jean was on my other side, along with Marco. I couldn't see any of my other comrades.

"The Wall's been breached!" Connie's voice helped me locate him a moment later, several yards below me. "Shit, the titans are starting to come in!"

As if I couldn't have guessed. In that instant, the only thing that mattered to me was finding Armin and asking him what I should do- the battle he had told us about had begun, far sooner than I had thought it would.

"Jaeger! You asshole, help me with Daz! He's unconscious!"

I looked back at Jean; bit my lip and glanced briefly at the top of the Wall. _Mikasa... and Armin are safe... I can... find them in a minute._ "A-Alright! I'll be right there!" I didn't particularly like Daz, but it was Jean who was calling for my help. Jean was an ass, but a pretty decent ass, considering he was still human. Releasing my cable, I let myself drop back down the Wall, using the balls of my feet to steer my decent. I aimed and then fired my anchor, lodging it in the stone inches from Jean's head and pulling up beside him.

"Shit, man!" my teammate yelped, as I took up Daz from his other side. "Were you pulling your punches in the exam?! That was unreal!"

I cocked my head. "No, I wasn't. But I didn't have the Wall in the exam. I learned how to use Maneuver Gear on the Walls, not among trees."

"Damn...!" Jean murmured, and then squeaked as I hefted Daz totally onto my back. "What are you doing?!"

I cocked my head. "Helping with Daz," I said, and then let myself drop once again before soaring upward, the man on my back feeling as light as air. I was dimly aware of Jean following; Marco shouting for Mina and Millus; Sasha and Connie ascending with Samuel between them. I touched down lightly on the top of the Wall, laying Daz down and then turning to peer down at my comrades. Jean hopped up beside me, followed closely by the others.

"Damn, man!" he repeated, and I cocked my head. "How'd you do that?"

"Do what?" I asked, genuinely confused. But Jean, unfortunately, didn't have the opportunity to reply.

"Eren!"

"Eren!!"

I looked up as my friends rushed towards us; felt my face light up. "Armin! Mikasa!"

My sister smacked me as soon as she was within range. "You idiot!" she scolded, and I felt my shoulders sag. "You should have come find us as soon as the titan appeared!"

"Hey, Jaeger was just doing his job!" Jean spoke unexpectedly in my defense. "He seems to give a shit about the rest of us after all, unlike you two!"

"Mikasa, you're overreacting," Armin said gently, laying a hand on my irate sister's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jean, we're just not used to being separated. Eren did the right thing. Now what can _we_ do to help?"

Huffing crossly, Jean folded his arms. "Well, we need to get the hell back to HQ. We'll be dispatched from there. The Garrison is already enacting the civilian evacuation protocols."

Armin's brow furrowed, but he nodded. "Right. Regroup at HQ. Good; let's go."

... ... ...

The Training Corps Headquarters was in an uproar when we arrived; trainees were being divided into groups, partitioned out to aid the Garrison and Survey Corps troops. I spotted Corporal Levi through the crowd; nearly called out to him, but stopped myself.

"Mikasa Ackerman, Reiner Braun, and Bertholdt Hoover, you'll be helping the Rear Guard protect the civilians," Shadis announced. "Eren Jaeger, Jean Kirstein, Marco Bodt, Armin Arlert, and Annie Leonheart, you'll help the Forward Guard. The rest of you are in the Center Guard. Dismissed!"

Mikasa exchanged a nod with Armin; I knew that my blonde friend had somehow arranged the assignments, and wondered briefly how he had managed it. Then I shrugged; it was beyond me, and I didn't especially mind that.

"Let's go!" Jean called, as he and Marco trotted past us; nodding, I followed eagerly with Armin on my heels. Annie materialized at his side a moment later and he slowed a bit; nodded at me to follow Jean. Unsettled but unquestioning, I put on a burst of speed and caught up to Jean and Marco.

"All the new recruits will make up one squad!" our Garrison commander was informing the Forward Guard. "Your position will be on the Eastern tip of the formation, here." He indicated on a map. Then he began listing off the names of Garrison members to make up other squads; told them their positions and then dismissed the lot of us, with a reminder that time was of the essence.

"Where're Armin and Annie?" Marco asked me worriedly, as people began to depart; I had been wondering the same thing. Stretching up on my toes, I was relieved to see Armin approaching me through the crowd, although his head was down.

"Annie says she'll catch up," he said, in a voice that barely qualified as a whisper. His face was ash grey, but his lips were a strangely vibrant pink. Jean and Marco didn't seem to notice, but I did; butted my forehead gently against his temple.

"You okay?" I murmured, and he nodded.

"Yeah... just be ready."

I nodded and then took off after Jean and Marco, the courtyard quickly emptying of soldiers as we all raced off to battle. Then we were in the air, the whole of the Garrison and Survey Corps and Training Corps taking wing. I spotted Corporal Levi again; realized that he and his squad were headed in the same direction as we were. I tried to catch his eye; waved enthusiastically when I managed it, and grinned as he scowled and looked away.

"Annie better hurry," Marco commented worriedly, glancing behind us. "I wouldn't want to be navigating these skies alone, not with the possibility of encountering titans."

"It was a fluke that she didn't make the top ten," Jean assured his friend. "She's more than capable of offing a few titans if they get in her way."

I sensed as much as observed Armin's distress; felt myself soften with sympathy. I hadn't gotten to know Annie Leonheart very well, but it was enough that Armin had grown attached to her. I had guessed as much back when we had defeated the Female Titan years ago; Armin hadn't been quite right for weeks afterward. It had been worse than his usual fits, when he would lock himself in my old basement for the sake of his plans and refuse food and sleep and _us_ for days on end.

When I had said it was lovesickness, Mikasa had laughed at me.

We just didn't love normally; we just weren't normal kids. Armin loved Annie Leonheart; I didn't know why or how, but that was the fact of the matter. Whether Annie Leonheart loved Armin or not, I couldn't say; however, it also didn't particularly matter.

"Titans spotted at the front of the formation!" The word drifted back to us, and I glanced at Armin. He gave a tiny shake of his head; not yet. Jean, just ahead of me, stiffened.

"Damn... by tomorrow, I would have been in the interior..." he muttered, and I felt a flare of dislike.

"Don't say that," I muttered. "I hate that sort of attitude." I didn't want Jean to piss me off, not in that way; I didn't want him to become just another human, like the ones that had killed my mother.

He was wise enough, despite the glare he sent me, to stay silent.

The sounds of battle erupted ahead of us; Marco led our miniature squad to the side, toward the position we had been assigned. Armin, however, had other ideas. The doubt had vanished from his eyes; his lips were as pale as the rest of his face. He put on a short burst of speed, cutting in front of me and pulling up between Jean and Marco.

"Do you two remember what I asked you?" he asked, and Jean widened his arc to put a few feet's distance between them.

"The... question about Jean...?" Marco asked slowly; Armin nodded.

"And the question about Marco," he added, to Jean; the horse-faced boy was looked at him with unabashed dislike and wariness. "Do you remember your answer?"

"Yes."

"... Yeah, I remember."

"The time has come to make good on those answers," Armin said simply, and then dropped abruptly onto a rooftop. We were still half a mile from our assigned position, but I followed him without hesitation; Marco, after a moment, curved back around to join us, and Jean followed with a loud and disgruntled exclamation.

"What the hell, man?!" he demanded, once he had landed. "We're supposed to be headed to fight the titans! It's probably only a matter of minutes before they make it this far into Trost!"

"What does anyone turning _into_ a titan have to do with this?" Marco queried, and I raised my eyebrows. Had Armin mentioned Titan Shifting to them? What exactly was this 'question' he had asked them both?

"That's none of your concern," Armin said simply. "But the fight to stop that from happening starts now, at Trost. You said that you would follow me rather than see that happen to one another; agreed?"

Marco and Jean exchanged a glance; the freckled boy looked nervous and uncertain, and his friend looked annoyed and anxious. Jean rounded on Armin; I nearly got between them, but my friend didn't flinch.

"What the hell is going on? This shit about people turning into titans... it's nonsense! And even if it wasn't, who are you to say you can prevent it?!"

"I'm the _only_ one who can prevent it," Armin declared. "And you two will obey every order I give you, or I'll be forced to consider you a obstacles to the survival of humanity. And all obstacles to the survival of humanity must be removed."

I had never heard Armin speak on such a grand scale- the survival of humanity? I wondered briefly if this was some part of his ultimate plan, or just a manipulation of our newfound classmates. But for the moment it didn't matter; I simply stood by his shoulder, unwavering in my own support and obedience.

"Oi, Jaeger! Do you know what the hell this little shit is talking about?" Jean demanded; I saw the desperate glint in his eyes- desperate for answers. Whatever question Armin had posed to him had disturbed him on the deepest possible level, enough to make him consider obedience now.

"No," I admitted, "but I am certain that Armin knows more than anyone about titans and about the course of this battle- I know that he must be trusted, unconditionally, or people _will_ die."

Jean turned away with a growl of frustration; Marco looked helplessly from him to me to Armin. My blonde friend didn't wait for them to answer properly.

"We'll be waiting here for a few minutes," he said, craning his neck around to look behind us. "Eren, get ready. She could appear at any moment, now."

"Annie?" Marco asked, and Armin flinched slightly. "Is she really following us? Is she in on whatever this plan of yours is? This thing about humans turning into titans?"

"Would you _stop_ repeating that?!" Armin hissed suddenly, his calm mask splintering; I jumped. Rounding on Marco, he glared more fiercely than I had ever seen him glare, his eyes truly terrifying as he bore his teeth. "That is a secret I had to reveal out of sheer necessity- stop repeating it, or it'll get out of hand!"

Marco took a step backwards; Jean looked on in stunned alarm as Armin's shoulders twitched, neck twisting to bring his head sideways and close to his chest. When he looked up again, his eyes were clear and his expression untroubled.

"I apologize," he said, with a deep breath. "Just... please, don't spread rumors about things you don't fully comprehend. This business about people turning into titans mustn't spread too far, not yet- and trust me, it will spread like wildfire if it gets the chance."

"Dude, you're nuts!" Jean yelped. "Crazier than Jaeger! Sh-shit, man, I'm out, I am _out_!! Let's go, Marco!"

The freckled boy looked less certain, glancing worriedly between Jean and Armin. "Jean... we need to think about this rationally," he began, catching his friend's shoulder; Jean wrenched it free.

"There is nothing _rational_ about this, Marco!" he said. "Damnit, this little shit really is insane!"

"It was unfortunate that I lost my temper," Armin spoke up softly, "but I assure you, I am quite sane. I'm simply under a bit of strain."

"'Strain!'" Jean scoffed. "Hear that, Marco? He's under a 'bit of strain!' Yeah, I'll bet insanity is a real stresser!"

Armin narrowed his eyes slightly; I, in response, moved forward, but my friend clicked his tongue. He didn't want me moving then, not yet; I fell back, forcing my shoulders to relax.

"Marco..." he began, addressing the olive-skinned boy, "you know that I wouldn't lie to you, not about something like this. Would you honestly risk Jean's life on the unsupported suspicion that I'm a bit mentally unstable? Jean, would you risk Marco's?" Jean's anger faltered; Marco's brow creased. "Furthermore, would either of you risk the whole of humanity?"

"... No, I wouldn't," the freckled boy answered, after a moment. "I don't trust you, but I also don't think you're a bad person."

I was startled when Armin laughed slightly, the sound more like a hiccup. "Whether a person is good or bad is entirely relative," he said, and I looked at him curiously. His eyes were hollow; his lips were flushed pink again. His voice dropped to a whisper- furtive; unsteady; strangely giddy. "To those who threaten humanity, I'm being a very bad person right now."

Marco looked like he wanted to speak, but stalled at the sudden and distant thudding that shattered the silence. Jean, too, raised his head, as did I; Armin looked down.

"Eren, she's coming."

"I got that," I growled, raising my hand to my lips; Armin surprised me by placing one thin hand on my wrist, lowering it again.

"Wait."

I didn't question him; he would know the right time. Jean's eyes were on us, his glare frightened and accusatory.

"Who's coming?! What the hell are you talking about?! Who's 'she?!'"

"Jean; Marco." Armin looked up; locked eyes with both of our newfound teammates. "Decide- now. You will obey my every order, or you will not survive this battle. Fight and disobey me, and you'll die at the hand of the enemy; turn tail now and try to rejoin the main company, and I'll have no choice but to deem you threats and illuminate you myself.

"However, fight under my command and aid the survival of humanity as a whole- stop the advance of the titans, and save mankind; save each other."

The footsteps were growing louder and louder, coming from deeper within Trost. I kept glancing behind us; my hand was twitching wildly with the desire to transform, and I could feel my teeth aching with the coming madness. But Armin was telling me to wait- obviously for the answer of our human classmates.

Marco, though obviously uneasy, stepped forward. "You... leave us no real choice at all, then," he said.

Jean was considerably more hesitant; Marco pulled cajolingly at his sleeve, but he still scowled as he grumbled, "Fine, fine...! But I don't like it!"

Armin smiled sadly. "You don't have to like it- you just have to trust me."

And then she was there.

Marco shrieked at the sight of her- the Female Titan, undoubtedly like nothing he or Jean had ever seen. Her fist collided with the building we were standing on; I leaped up, but Armin had yet to give the signal. I could feel the electricity tingling up my spine in anticipation of the lighting bolt; could feel a guttural growl rising in my throat. But Armin hadn't given the signal.

"Armin?!"

My friend didn't answer, but instead pointed; shouted, "Steer it back toward the Rear Guard!"

"But that's where the civilians are!" Marco shrieked; Armin ignored him, changing course in accordance to his own order. I followed instantly; Jean and Marco did more reluctantly.

The Female Titan- Annie, I reminded myself -swiped out a hand; Jean yelped as he dodged her outstretched fingers. "What the hell is it?!" he screamed at Armin. "An Aberrant?! But why did it come from _within_ Trost?!"

"Eren!" My friend ignored Jean's question. "Are you ready?"

"I have been!" I shouted back. "Please give the signal, please!"

"In a minute!" was his reply. "Just hold up for another minute!"

Annie raced down the street parallel to our path; smashed into the building we were passing with one shoulder. Armin didn't falter, swerving between the flying debris as if it didn't exist. Marco and Jean managed the maneuvers, although with less grace; I heard Jean huff something crossly about throwing the exam, and nearly laughed at the frivolity of such a thing.

Annie was keeping pace with us easily; her eyes kept flitting between Armin and I, although they tended to linger on him. I felt another stab of regret, and wondered why fate had to be so cruel- to all of us.

"Eren, _now_!!"

I nearly missed Armin's shout, buried in my own thoughts as I was. But my body responded to his command automatically; I knew that I would obey him until I was dead, and perhaps even after that my body would still move for him. My teeth sunk deep into my skin, my own rich, metallic blood spurting out around them and into my mouth. The Shift took me, then; I heard my own voice raised in a bone-shattering roar as hot flesh rushed up around me, binding to my skin.

I was only blind for a moment before I opened my titan's eyes; flexing my fingers, I formed its hands into fists, digging my feet into the cobblestones as I braced for the fight. I noticed with muted amusement that Jean had run face first into a building.

And then Annie was upon me. She didn't roar, simply swung up her leg and kicked; I raised one arm to block, but the force of the strike was sufficient to crack the bones of my forearm. Roaring with a mixture of pain and fury, I flung myself forward; I was no longer thinking about Annie Leonheart or Armin's torment, simply of the enemy standing before me.

Simply of my hunger.

I slammed into the Female Titan, carrying the both of us off our feet and sending us crashing into a row of houses. Before she could get out from under me, I felt Armin land on my shoulder; felt him duck beneath my hair and get a stable grip at the base of my ear, one of his anchors lodging in my temple and the other in the hollow just beneath my ear. I paused, Annie held down with both hands, and awaited instructions.

But none came.

The Female Titan twisted her legs up, gripping me around the waist and unbalancing me; I felt my whole body tip to the side, and she took advantage of it to throw me off. Another building stopped me from skidding too far, and I sprang to my feet. Annie was already up, her foot aiming once again for my head. My arm wasn't healed enough to block, so I ducked.

Suddenly, however, the Female Titan was faltering; staggering, her back to me as she tried to recover. Looking down, I realized that Marco had sliced her Achilles heel, crippling one of her legs; as I watched in amazement, Jean went for the other, lopping out a good segment of her flesh. It was the kind of blow I knew she could have dodged; she obviously hasn't been expecting our two comrades to join the battle.

"Now." His voice was a choked whisper in my ear; I pounced on the other Shifter at Armin's command, plowing her into the ground and feeling her flesh tear beneath my hands. But she was far from defeated; pushing off the ground with strong arms, she tossed me up over her back, scrambling backwards and out from underneath me. My arm was nearly healed; spinning in a crouch, I grabbed her ankle, clenching my fist until I heard and felt her bones splinter. No matter how quickly her tendons healed, it would be a while before she could put weight on it.

Even so she managed to get up; she was leaning on a building, though, like a crutch, and I aimed a powerful punch as soon as I had my own feet under me. She ducked, throwing herself beneath my reach and colliding headlong with my chest, bowling me over and wrecking the buildings behind me. I felt a twinge of pain in my ear as Armin was jostled; hoped that my flesh had healed sufficiently around his anchors, sealing them in place.

Roaring, I thrust my head forward and sunk my teeth into her shoulder- or at least I tried to. As it was, my jaw snapped unexpectedly when I tried to bite down, finding her flesh as hard as steel. I made a confused noise in the back of my throat, jaw dangling uselessly as I stared at the hardened patch on her shoulder. I waited for Armin to tell me what to do, but he was silent; I could feel him moving, craning to get a better look, and it suddenly occurred to me that he was as surprised as I was.

The order I was eagerly awaiting came out as a curse; my friend tightened his grip on my ear, then said, "Get away from her... get away from her...!"

I didn't have time to comply. Her fist, exhibiting the same strange properties as her shoulder, drew back; slammed into my abdomen. I felt my stomach rupture, orange acid flooding out of my wreaked midsection and spewing out of my shattered jaws. Armin cursed again, louder; jerked to the side as the Female Titan took a swing at my head with her hardened fist, aiming right for the spot where he was sheltered.

And I was powerless, in that moment, to protect him.

A flash appeared in front of my face; I almost snapped out at it reflexively, but recognized it at the last minute. Blades glinting, it sliced through the Female Titan's wrist, severing her hand before it could strike Armin and I.

"Get your ass in gear, ya fuckin' moron!" Jean screamed at me; a moment later, Marco appeared beside him, taking a chunk out of the Female Titan's cheek before landing on the mangled roof beside my head.

"Armin!" he shouted up. "Are you alright?!"

"Y-Yeah..." my blonde friend replied, obviously surprised that the two humans had intervened. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Annie gave a soft scream of anger; spinning, she abandoned me for moment in favor of swiping at Jean with her remaining hand. The human yelped in alarm but dodged; shot out his cables and flew past me, yelling for Marco to follow him. The freckled boy nodded tersely, taking to the skies and after his friend. Together they swarmed back around to circle Annie's head; she twisted to follow them, and I saw that the vulnerable spot on her neck was hardened, as her fist and shoulder had been.

"Eren, while she's distracted!"

Armin's order spurred me to action, although my body was still frantically regenerating the gaping hole in my stomach. My jaw had partially healed, so I bit deep into her shoulder blade; distracted as she was with Jean and Marco, she had no chance to harden her skin. I felt her flesh tear in my mouth; felt my whole body come alive with desperate hunger as I ripped into her. Annie Leonheart screamed; twisted free, leaving my mouth filled with her musculature, and lashed out backwards with one leg. The kick landed, snapping my back with a horrible _crack_. I felt my human spine arch as sympathetic pains lanced through it, and roared in agony. 

Jean whizzed by my head; I heard him curse when he saw Annie's neck. "How the hell do we kill it?!"

"You don't!" Armin called back, his tone bordering on panic. "Jean, stay back, don't get too close!!"

Moving as best I could with a broken back, I wrapped my arms around Annie's chest. _If I can't target her neck... I'll just tear her whole damn upper body off...!_ Heaving tremendously, I felt her flesh start to rip; felt her begin to struggle as she realized what I was trying to do. Her spine snapped first; the skin of her back began to tear, letting her scalding insides leak out and wash over me.

Just before I managed to rip her completely in half, she wrenched herself free of my embrace; stumbled, with crippled legs and a broken back, to collapse several yards away from me. Unfortunately, with her gone, my body slumped down into an awkward sitting position, my own broken spine unable to hold me upright. Snarling in frustration, I jerked at my titan's body, willing it to respond, but the damage was too great.

"Eren, move!" Armin was hissing in my ear. "Move, please, _move_!!"

Annie was struggling; she had gotten her hands under her and pushed herself up, her lower body sprawled and twisted awkwardly behind her. But the steam made it clear that she was regenerating, even as I was; in a moment, we would both be able to fight again. I roared to vent my frustration, groping at the building behind me with my intact arm; the other had been torn off at the elbow when Annie had gotten free.

"Coordinate...!" the Female Titan shrieked softly, her eyes wild. "Why do you fight us?!"

I couldn't have replied, even if I had wanted to _and_ my jaw had been sufficiently intact to form words- Armin beat me to it anyway.

"There is no future with you!"

The female keened in pain and frustration; I felt a sudden stab of sympathy, for no one chose their role in the world. But it wasn't sufficient to keep me from pulling my body upright, before it had fully healed, and lunging at her.

The Female Titan used her arms to pull her body out of the way as I fell awkwardly on the spot where she had been; she looked like some crippled fish-like creature dragging its tail across dry land, her broken body flopping clumsily and uselessly. Then again, I couldn't have looked much better, lurching forward and making a grab for her, only to miss and smash into the ground face-first. Armin yelped and cursed as he was jostled. Each of us fell still for a moment, focusing entirely on healing.

Annie was on her feet first. I didn’t have time to panic before she lifted me by my shoulders, and I felt my half-regenerated back snap again; felt my torso torn free of my lower body. She lunged forward, then, jaws opening wide and aiming, obviously, for Armin. In that moment, the only thing I could think of was protecting him; the only thing I could hear was his soft, unconscious whimpering.

Control of what was left of the titan was failing me, but I had enough power to wrench my head to the side at the last possible moment. Her teeth missed Armin, and sunk instead into the soft nape of my neck; I felt them pierce my human body, and let out a tremulous wail of agony as they tore into my midsection. Annie gave a soft shriek of surprise, jerking back and dropping what was left of my body, spitting out what she had taken into her mouth. I didn’t feel my titan hit the ground, although I saw my own legs and pelvis fall several feet from my head thought dimming eyes. 

Then the titan's vision went black; I was fully aware of my human body once again, and wondered why I wasn't in more pain. I had been shorn in two by a titan's teeth; shouldn't that hurt? But no, all I could feel was the familiar heat of the titan around me, the steam of regeneration, and the slimy sensation of my guts slipping out of my damaged body.

And all I could hear was Armin's screaming.

"No, no, no!!" he kept repeating, and suddenly he was beside me. I couldn't see him; I couldn't see anything. "No, this wasn't supposed to happen, I didn't mean for this to _happen_...!! No, Eren, I didn't mean for this to happen!!"

I tried to smile, but I wasn't sure if my facial muscles were working properly. "S... Sor... ry... Ar... min..." I forced out, and heard his breath catch.

"Eren!"

"Jaeger!!"

_Jean... and Marco…_ I felt a sudden, unexpected rush of heat in my chest. _They'll... look after Armin…_

"Eren, no...!" my friend wailed softly. "Eren, please no, don't tell me you're sorry, don't!!"

"I've... gotta... rest..." I breathed, "just... for a... min... ute..." I murmured, feeling what was left of my consciousness begin to desert me. "Sor... ry... Armin...

"I'll... be right... back... to stand... at... your... side..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'd like to, real quickly, draw your attention to the fact that "Attack on Titan" is a very poor translation of "Shingeki no Kyojin." More accurately, it's "Advance (or March) of the Titans (or Giants)." Just in case you didn't know... 'cause I'm gonna start dropping that phrase a bit.) 
> 
> That said... I hope everyone enjoyed chapter 8! Comments and kudos make my night~


	9. The Unexpected Inconvenience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys better be grateful. This chapter was an absolute pain (but great Walls of Shiganshina I'm so proud of it). 
> 
> ... You guys are gonna hate me. It's gonna be great. ~~Oh gosh I'm so sorry but not sorry aaah...~~
> 
> There are a couple of things in this chapter that rely on my headcanons... one in particular, actually. But as the series is still ongoing with a lot of questions unanswered/details un... detailed, I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to take a flying leap of faith or two. So bear with me on that. ^^;

The Center Guard wasn't getting all that much action.

... Not that I was complaining.

Our main task was to provide an extra buffer between the Forward Guard, where majority of the most skilled fighters were, and the Rear Guard, which was in charge of civilian evacuation. The fact that the Survey Corps were present, however, meant that not many titans were getting far enough into Trost to make it to us. It would have been an entirely different battle, I knew with a sickening certainty, if they hadn't been there.

Everyone's biggest concern, however, was the Armored Titan. Since the Colossal Titan had already come and gone, most of the soldiers thought that it was only a matter of time before the Armored Titan showed its ugly mug and broke through Wall Rose. If that happened, humanity would be on the brink of extinction, regardless of how good a job the Survey Corpsmen were doing at holding off the Common Titans.

"Small cluster to the right!" my squad leader called. "Two seven meters and a three meter! Let's intercept them!"

Feeling a thrill that was half nervousness and half excitement, I took off- Sasha on my right and Ymir on my left; I could hear Krista just behind me. Despite myself, I couldn't help but smirk.

_Surrounded by girls at last._

As if she could sense my snarky thoughts, Sasha glanced over at me; stuck out her tongue. I grinned nervously back. Even if the battle was going well, I didn't see how she could be so casual.

"Race you, Slowpoke!" she called, and shot suddenly ahead of us. I felt panic flood my system as she pulled away, despite our commander's call to come back.

"Sasha, you idiot!!" I yelled, giving chase. She laughed as she approached the cluster of titans, which had turned to face us. I put on a burst of speed as she closed on them, but was surprised when she spun in the air, pushing off a nearby building and sailing past one of the seven meters, lopping out its vulnerable spot. I had been so desperate to catch up with her that I couldn't salvage my own landing, skidding awkwardly down on a rooftop as Ymir dispatched the other seven meter, and our squad leader dealt with the three meter.

"What was _that_ , Connie?" Sasha asked teasingly, landing beside me; I was still shivering.

"I was worried about you, you idiot!" I snapped, much to her surprise. "Sasha, this isn't a joke!"

"Come on!" my friend chirped. "This isn't so bad! We've had light casualties- no one from our class has even gotten hurt, not even Daz!"

"For now, for now, Sasha!" I snapped. "And what about our friends in the Forward Guard- what about Jean and Marco and Annie? A-And the Survey Corpsmen? We have it easy because _they're_ taking the brunt of the battle!"

My friend's face fell, and I felt momentarily guilty. But if she kept on with that sort of attitude, she'd get herself- and maybe me! -killed.

There was a moody silence between us as we returned to our position; I felt bad for causing it, but I figured that I could apologize _after_ we were through fighting for our lives. More titans had broken through the Forward Guard to our left; I watched worriedly as Mina and Millus' squad engaged them, but again there were no casualties. The whole battle was going too well; I could tell from our squad leader's posture that the senior Garrison members were of a similar opinion.

"Ma'am," I began hesitantly, and she turned. I flushed suddenly. "Uh... M-Miss Rico, is there any word from the Forward Guard?"

She shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. You have friends fighting there?"

I nodded, relieved that she understood. "Yeah... and its just so quiet back here, I can help but think about what they're dealing with ahead of us."

The woman's expression softened further. "I know," she murmured. "But take the peace back here as a good sign- assume that they're having as easy a time of it as we are."

I nodded, appreciating her comforting words. I glanced over at Sasha, who was still pouting. _At least... I know for sure that you're safe. I don't care... if you're mad... so long as you're safe._

"What the hell is that?!"

I looked over at Ymir's startled exclamation; just to the east of us, there was a huge cloud of smoke rising up above Trost. It was farther back than any of the Forward Guard should be stationed, but there certainly weren't any Center Guardsmen that far over. We had been hearing crashes and a couple of roars from that general direction, but had assumed that it was simply a Forward Guard unit doing battle with an especially vocal Aberrant; there hadn't been any reason to think otherwise. But that amount of smoke wasn't normal.

 _... Not smoke,_ I realized slowly. _Titan steam._

"Ma'am, permission to investigate?" I pleaded suddenly. I could tell, from her sudden tension, that something had set Sasha on edge, and her instincts were not to be taken lightly; something was very, very wrong, and I needed to verify that our friends weren't involved.

Rico looked more than a bit hesitant, but eventually nodded. "Everything this far East is technically our squad's responsibility; let's go check it out."

By the time we reached the site of the steam, Sasha had fallen in beside me; I knew that I was forgiven, at least for the time being. The battlefield was one place you couldn't hang on to grudges- the stakes were much too high, as was the likelihood that you'd die mad at one another.

Much to my horror, the source of the steam did turn out to be a titan corpse. We couldn't see much when we first landed, apart from the smoking skeleton. But then I began to make out the figures, crouched around what was left of the titan's neck; there were four of them.

Well, technically there were three and a half.

Feeling my stomach heave, I took a step back; Sasha, on the contrary, dove off the building's edge with a wail of, "Marco! Jean!" and was followed by Ymir and Krista. Cursing softly, I gave chase, pulling up in time to hear Armin Arlert speak.

"It's alright; he'll recover. He just needs time to regenerate."

"'Regenerate?'" Ymir echoed distastefully. "Like some goddamn titan?"

"Exactly like 'some goddamn titan,'" Marco said suddenly, gently. "Eren turned into a fifteen meter class titan in order to fight a female-looking Aberrant."

"And obviously lost," Jean added with a smirk; Armin rounded on him, lip drawn back in a feral expression that would have more suited Jaeger.

"She would have gotten _me_ if he hadn't moved to take the bite!" the blonde hissed furiously, tears in his eyes. "I'd be _dead_ if he hadn't taken that bite!"

"Okay, man, chill," Jean said, holding up his hands. "I'm just stating the obvious. Jaeger got his ass kick... er, he got his ass bitten off, I guess."

Armin gave a half-mad shriek, his eyes like nothing I'd ever seen- not even on a titan. "Shut up, shut up!!" he screamed. "I need to think, I need to think for just one minute! Shut up, everyone just shut up for _one minute_!!"

The outburst was sufficient to shock all of us into a momentary silence- perhaps Eren's wrecked body and the dissolving titan corpse had something to do with it, too. Either way, Armin crouched and curled in on himself, his chest heaving as he closed his eyes. I saw the tension drain from his face; saw his lips moving rapidly as he mouthed things to himself, and saw his eyelids move as his eyes flicked rapidly, this way and that. It was as if he were seeing something play out inside the pitch blackness of his own skull; he probably was.

"Alright," he said, after a moment, and got to his feet. His expression was calm and his voice was even; he seemed largely untroubled, despite the way he trembled and the blood straining his uniform and skin. "Alright, this is... this is okay. We're in okay shape. This is salvageable, easily salvageable. Marco!" he said suddenly, authoritatively. "Did you see which way the Female Titan went?"

"Yes," my teammate replied; I wondered why he was answering Armin so readily. "It was headed back toward the Rear Guard."

"As expected..." the blonde boy murmured. "Exactly as expected. Miss Rico! I'm commandeering your squad. Please return to the main body of the Center Guard with a message from me- no one is to approach the interior of Trost, regardless of smoke signals."

My mouth fell open. Rico looked even more shocked, but as her surprise faded it was replaced with a fiery rage.

"How dare you?!" she demanded. "I will do no such thing, and you will inform me of everything that is going on, Recruit!"

Armin smiled, a bit sadly. "Miss Rico, you are a noble soul and a valuable soldier- don't make yourself a threat to my plans; to humanity's survival. I'll have to kill you if you do."

"Whoa, whoa!" I cut in, then cursed myself for speaking as Armin's gaze switched to me. I could only laugh nervously at the baleful look in his eyes. "Wha... what are you even talking about, man?"

"I will kill anyone to threatens my plans," he reiterated, and I felt the blood drain from my face. "With Eren incapacitated, there is no longer a margin for error. I will not be without regret, but I will do what is necessary. You, Connie, have already sworn your allegiance to me."

"M-my allegiance?!" I spluttered, shocked and somewhat alarmed. "Wha... Wh-when?!"

_"Would you rather follow me or see Sasha turned into a titan?"_

The memory hit me like all the bricks in Wall Rose, so much so that I literally staggered back. I glanced at Sasha; she had a far-away look in her eyes, and I wondered if Armin had asked her a similar question.

"Where's Annie?!" Krista suddenly shrieked, and I saw Armin wince as though struck. "Wasn't she part of your squad?!"

"She was never with us," Marco said, seeming concerned. "She had said she would catch up, but she never did. The Aberrant appeared first, from deeper within Trost."

"Annie knows what's going on."

I looked over at Sasha in surprise; she was trembling, but her eyes were bright. Armin's expression warped slightly.

"Be quiet, Sasha," he said softly, his eyes glittering. "Be quiet."

"N-no..." my best friend murmured, and I felt my stomach squirm with uneasiness; seeing Sasha so serious was more unsettling than Armin's apparent instability. "Annie... _knows_ what's going on... that's why, two years ago... Annie... and you-"

"Shut up!!" Armin shrieked, his calm mask shattering as he lunged forward, his blade angled up and pressed to Sasha's throat. Krista screamed; my friend's words died with a frightened whimper.

"Get away from her!!" I yelled, drawing my own blades. Miss Rico, like me, had her weapons out; Ymir had swept Krista behind her.

"If you value your potato-thieving life, Miss Sasha Blaus, I would suggest you shut your mouth and keep your faulty memories to yourself!" Armin hissed, a trickle of blood running down the length of his blade. "There _was_ no two years ago- that never happened; it was a _dream_!"

Then Rico was upon him; I watched as she leaped with seemingly superhuman speed and agility, aiming for his back. But in that instant Armin spun, using one foot to knock Sasha's legs out from under her and raising his own blades to block Rico's. My friend squeaked as she hit the ground; Rico yelped in surprise as she found her attack thwarted.

"Don't make me kill anyone," Armin whispered. "Miss Rico, you do not grasp what is at stake here. If you kill me, Trost will be lost; Wall Rose will be lost. _Humanity_ will be lost, if my plans are not allowed to proceed. If you doubt me, go find Commander Smith and ask him. He has some feeble grasp on the significance if this battle, although he doesn't know how to win it."

"You're mad," Rico hissed, and I was inclined to agree. Armin only smiled tiredly.

"Oh contraire," he murmured, "I'm quite painfully sane, at least thus far. I'm not as far gone as Eren, no... not so far gone, not yet." Then he laughed hollowly, his smile widening and twisting. "Someday I'll go insane; it'll be a relief, such a relief.” His expression eased. “But I can't let that happen until my plans come to fruition; I can't let that happen until the titans are defeated."

Rico stiffened; drew back slightly, although she kept her blades up. Armin sheathed his, brushing himself off. "You're bluffing."

"I actually wish I was," Armin murmured, and I heard the pain in his voice as clear as the words themselves. "I wish I was bluffing. But alas, I am most certainly not." Then he turned, exposing his back to a stunned Rico as he addressed the rest of us. "You'll all obey me or you'll die- those you care about will die. Possibly not at my hands; you could all overpower me easily if you set your minds to it. However, you'll then die at the hands of an enemy only I and mine can defeat."

"Guys..." Marco began uncertainly, "I don't know what's going on, exactly, but this Female Titan... we can't fight it. And it's only a matter of time before the Armored Titan appears, just like when Maria was breached. We're fighting a losing war."

"So you're saying we have to bet on this insane little cur?" Ymir asked incredulously. "Marco, are you out of your mind?!"

"I've just... seen what we're up against," the freckled boy said softly. "And I'd rather die taking a risk that grants us _some_ chance than just stubbornly fighting a losing war."

"I'm with Marco," Jean said, and I rounded on him in surprise.

"Y-you too, Jean?!" I spluttered. "B-But why?!"

"I don't trust the insane little shit," my teammate muttered, "but he seems to know what's going on. I also don't trust his motives, but he doesn't seem to want any of us dead."

"On the contrary," Armin said, shooting Jean a grateful glance. "I would very much like to keep you all alive. It suits me, and I have nothing to gain from your deaths."

"Well... what exactly do you want us to do?" I finally managed to ask.

Armin straightened his shirt slightly; glanced down at where Eren still lay. I nearly shrieked as I looked down at him; I'd frankly forgotten that he was laying there, torn in half. But what I saw was starkly different from what had been there not ten minutes ago.

Eren Jaeger's torso was completely intact; the bleeding had mysteriously stopped, and thin wisps of smoke were rising from his torn body. But what was really surprising were his bones- bones that hadn't been there before. His pelvis was melting into shape, smoking tendons coiling out and attaching to it. His chest was moving, just slightly, as he breathed, and I could see his spinal cord squirming through newly formed vertebrae. Armin followed my gaze.

"It takes him approximately thirty minutes to regrow an arm; fifteen if the shoulder socket is intact. A leg takes slightly longer; forty minutes, perhaps. But I can't estimate how long this will take to heal; it'll probably be a while before he regains consciousness, even after he's whole. Safe to assume he's out of this battle... for good. Still important, but out of the fight."

"That's crazy..." Ymir whispered, and Armin shrugged.

"Regenerative ability is, like anything else, a matter of practice. Not that he ever cut himself in half like this, but he certainly hacked off limbs frequently to up his healing rate. He can regenerate an eye in about fifteen seconds."

"But-!" Ymir began, only to stop herself. I wondered why she was so interested; why she thought the time it took was stranger than the fact that Eren was regenerating half his body to begin with. Armin seemed just as curious.

"'But...?'" he prompted, and Ymir looked away.

"Nothing."

Armin watched her for a moment more, but then shrugged and knelt. He collected Eren's pants and boots from his disembodied lower half, handing them to Marco. "Carry these, please? Eren will be wanting them if he does wake up." Then he himself scooped up Eren, who murmured softly as he was moved. I couldn't seem to take my eyes from the gory view, watching the tendons squirm slightly as they organized themselves.

"Alright..." Armin murmured, closing his eyes briefly. "She should be heading back toward the Rear Guard... the question is... whether she..." His voice trailed off; his lips were still moving, but none of us could hear him until he raised his voice once again. "Our goal is as follows- neutralize the Female Titan. She can't be killed through normal means; do not attempt to. However, we need to locate her... and disable her- stop her from doing whatever she plans to do to advance the battle. 

“I can't guarantee your safety,” he continued, “but I can guarantee you a _higher_ chance of survival; you'd do well to remember that. Jean, Marco, you're with me; stay close. Sasha, Connie, you hang back and to the left; fan out. Ymir, Krista, to the right; fan out as well. Miss Rico, please serve as relay between us three groups. First we need to find her. Stay within sight and earshot." And with that he had taken off, seemingly without regard for whether we were following or not. Jean and Marco both bounded after him.

I glanced anxiously at Rico; she looked disturbed and angry, but eventually she sighed and motioned for us to disperse. I leaped up beside Sasha, who still looked uncharacteristically deep in thought.

"What... was that?" I asked, after a moment. "What happened two years ago?"

My friend's brow furrowed. "I... I met Armin, two years ago," she admitted, and I stiffened.

"What?!"

She nodded, looking a bit more determined. "Yeah... I didn't recognize him at first, but... I'm sure it was him. He was... with Annie. She introduced him as her brother."

"But Armin comes from Shiganshina!" I objected. "A-And there hasn't been any contact with Shiganshina since Wall Maria fell! And Annie's been _here_ , with us!"

"I know all that," Sasha said, sounding a bit put out. "It would have to mean that one or both of them had to cross the interior of Wall Maria, probably multiple times. But if we take into account that Eren can transform into a titan, like Marco said, then that isn't impossible. And now Annie is missing..."

"But that would also mean... that Annie would had to have _known_ that Jaeger could turn into a titan...!" I objected. "A-And that she kept it a secret!"

"That's exactly what I'm thinking," Sasha said, with a slight grimace. "He... Armin and Annie... seemed to be on good enough terms, when I saw them together... I didn't question that he was her little brother. But come to think of it, I haven't seen them speak since he showed up here."

"What if..." I began, wondering if my imagination was running away from me, "what if Annie was a _part_ of these plans that Armin keeps talking about, but they had a falling out?"

"But Armin says he wants to help humanity," Sasha pointed out. "If Annie was against that, it would mean she was a traitor."

"I don't think we can trust a word Armin says," I muttered. "He doesn't want to help humanity- he only cares about himself."

"And his friends," the girl beside me added softly, and I looked over curiously. But she didn't explain herself.

Suddenly, I saw a flicker of movement in the corner of my eye; Miss Rico had dropped back, hitting a roof and springing sideways, zipping past Sasha and I. I realized suddenly that she was making a break for it- trying to rejoin the Center Guard and inform them of what was going on.

Then the small blonde boy, Armin Arlert, was whizzing past me, his speed defying logic. I jerked reflexively out of his way as he passed; he probably would have slammed straight into me if I hadn't. I skidded to a halt on a nearby roof, Sasha beside me, watching in awe as he cut Miss Rico off. Our squad leader swerved to the side, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision, and had no choice but to swing back toward us.

"Please stop!" Marco wailed, from where he had landed as well. "Miss Rico, Armin, please!"

Neither of them headed him. On the contrary, I felt Ymir fly past me with a colorful curse, and suddenly Armin was dodging _her_ as he pursued Rico. Our squad leader skidded to a halt on the same roof as Sasha and I, drawing her blades with a metallic ring.

"The soldier Armin Arlert has gone rogue!" she shouted, at the top of her lungs, and I felt my stomach drop. "Detain him, and then we'll return to the main company!"

"Miss Rico, please reconsider!" Jean screamed, his face a mask of panic. "You didn't see the Female Titan- you don't know what you're dealing with!"

Armin ducked beneath Ymir's blades, spinning like a top- like Corporal Levi, I realized suddenly -as he came in for a seemingly head first landing; he flipped his body at the last possible moment, landing with his feet under him beside Jean. 

"Take care of Eren!" he ordered my teammate, unslinging his friend's body from his back and half-throwing it at Jean. Then Ymir was upon him, and he leaped back into the air as she smashed into the exact spot he had been an instant before. Rico was moving to cut him off, and I wondered if he would be able to fend off both of them. Jean was staring at Jaeger's body with huge eyes and a sneer that was half revulsion and half amazement.

"What should we do?" I whispered, half to Sasha and half to myself. The girl beside me shifted; bit her lip.

"I... I don't know."

"Miss Rico, Ymir, please stop!" Marco yelled again, but he too seemed rooted to his spot on the rooftop. Armin ricocheted off a building to dodge Ymir, but nearly ran into Miss Rico's blades; he swerved, an almost inhuman mid-air maneuver, avoiding the fatal blow but losing a good chunk of his golden hair. Spinning, he landed in a crouch, ready to spring in any direction as the two girls descended upon him. As impressive as their attacks were, they were still easy to dodge if he kept them both within sight.

He didn't intend to dodge them, though, as they obviously assumed he did.

Ymir's trajectory was such that she had nowhere to go; no way to stop the momentum that carried her straight onto his outstretched blades. It was an incredibly risky move on Armin’s part; her blades were out too, after all, and he had willingly brought himself into her range. Even as her body was pierced, she lashed out; one blade grazed his cheek as he jerked away at the last instant, and the other nicked his shoulder as he twisted his torso body and ducked down, the motion not only allowing him to dodge but to wrench his own blades downward and deeper into her body. My teammate's jaws stretched wide in a soundless wail as her chest and stomach were both torn open, bathing her killer's arms in hot blood.

Krista screamed.

Rico had stumbled to a halt on a nearby roof, but she flung herself forward then with an enraged cry. Armin pivoted, letting Ymir's body fall as he spun with inhuman grace and speed, cracking the hilts of both his blades against Rico's temple just as one of her blades sunk into his shoulder. The girl dropped like a stone; Armin didn't even flinch as he pulled the offending weapon from his shoulder. Then, as the rest of us watched, he knelt; felt for our squad leader's pulse.

"Alive," he announced. "I'm glad. But she won't wake up for a good while." Standing, he sheathed his bloodied blades and glanced around. "Let's go; the Female Titan has quite a head start, by now."

"Hold up just a fucking minute!" I was surprised to hear my own trembling voice raised in objection; flinched as the blonde boy fixed me with a piercing but surprisingly open gaze. Swallowing, I forced myself to continue. "You... You just... _killed_ Ymir...! You really expect us to follow you?"

"All I did was illuminate a threat," Armin replied calmly. "I had to kill one of them before I could incapacitate the other; I don't have the skills necessary to neutralize two attackers of their skill without killing, though I would admittedly have preferred it. I judged Ymir to be more of a long-term threat, also less valuable a soldier, and therefore chose to kill her. Emotionality has nothing to do with what I just did. I won’t kill again unless I have sufficient reason, nor will I hesitate if the need arrises."

Krista began to wail again.

Armin didn't flinch, simply turning to face the girl. "If you wish to stay behind, I won't stop you," he said. "In fact, I think it would be for the best." Using his 3D Maneuver Gear to hop across the rooftops separating them, he took the girl by both shoulders; lowered her gently to the shingled roof. I think all of us were beyond surprised when he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her, over her own.

"I have to make sure you won't go running to the Center Guard," he said softly. "Can you take off your Gear for me?"

Surprisingly, Krista shook her head; got unsteadily to her feet. "No... n-no. I'm coming with you."

Armin paused for a moment, seeming to consider it. Then he rose as well, nodding briskly.

"Alright." Turning, he motioned to his two squad mates. "Jean, are you alright carrying Eren for a bit? I don't think my shoulder will function with the extra weight." Jean nodded, although he looked a bit green as he fixed the steaming body of Eren Jaeger on his back; it now had partially formed hips. "Marco, drop back and bring up the rear; alert me of anything suspicious. The rest of you, fan out behind Jean and I."

 _He's telling Marco to watch_ us _,_ I realized with a sick feeling as I fell in beside Sasha. But then we were once again flying through Trost, leaving the unconscious Rico and Ymir's body behind. I heard Krista sniffling; tried hard not to look over at her.

Suddenly, though, there was another shape flying up beside us. I shied away from it reflexively before I recognized it, smiling despite myself as I called out.

"Annie!"

Armin stopped so abruptly that he didn't even have anywhere to land. I slammed headlong into him with a yelp of alarm, and then we were both tumbling across a luckily-placed rooftop. I cursed softly as we came to a stop, tangled up in one another's limbs. But my annoyance was quickly replaced by confusion as I realized that Armin was shaking like a leaf; I could feel his heart beating out a frantic rhythm in his chest for a moment before he scrambled away from me. Our teammates were landing all around us, and the blonde boy got quickly to his feet, brushing himself off.

"Annie." His voice was steady, but I couldn't shake the memory of his pounding heart.

"Armin," she greeted him, nodding to the rest of us. "Are we headed back toward the Rear Guard, as per your plan?"

"So you did know about this!" Sasha burst out; Annie glanced at her but didn't reply.

"Yeah," Armin said tersely. "We'll rendezvous with the others and end this."

Annie nodded, then reached out and touched Armin's wounded shoulder; there was something strangely tender in the casual touch, and Armin looked down. "What happened here? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied, sounding oddly subdued. "It's just a scratch. It doesn't even... hurt."

"Hm." Annie looked unconvinced. "How's Eren?" she asked, without taking her eyes from Armin.

"Fine," he replied. "He'll recover, although probably not until this battle is over."

"That's good to hear," Annie murmured. "It would be bad if he died."

"Yeah," Armin replied, his voice oddly disconnected. "That would be bad... for both of us."

"Well come on, then," Annie called to the rest of us. "We don't have much time."

"No, we don't," Armin echoed, trotting past Annie and leaping off the roof; the girl followed him, with Jean on their heels, and the rest of us had no real choice but to follow.

There was no conversation between any of us as we made our steady way toward the Rear Guard. Jean had fallen back slightly; Armin and Annie kept such perfect pace with one another that it was downright creepy, as though they were somehow reading one another's minds and movements.

Suddenly, the whole population of Trost loomed up before us, clustered around the gate by which they were to evacuate. But the proceedings seemed to have ground to a halt, due to a portly nobleman who had managed to wedge his carriage into said gate. Armin motioned for us to land, and we all obeyed.

"Why isn't the Female Titan here?" Jean asked the blonde. "She had a head start- she should have beat us here, if this was where she was headed."

"Oh, she's here..." Armin murmured, and I wondered how a titan as apparently huge and unusual as this Female Titan could be hiding. "She's waiting. For what, I don't exactly know."

Annie chuckled humorlessly under her breath; I couldn't fathom why. The nobleman was still at it, insisting that his cart was worth more than all the civilian lives that his actions were endangering. Sasha, beside me, took a step forward.

"Someone needs to deal with that guy!" she said, but Armin shot her a tired look.

"Not you," he said. "Move one step in that direction and I'll have to put a stop to it."

Although shifting, eyes blazing with anxiety and irritation, Sasha didn't move; I was silently grateful that she didn't push the issue.

A sudden murmur from Eren startled all of us; Jean nearly dropped the still unconscious boy, but luckily he didn't. Armin took the opportunity to move forward and lift him from Jean's arms, crouching down and wrestling his trousers, taken from Marco, onto him, now that there was enough of Eren to hold them in place.

"I can't think of a reason the Female Titan would wait... while Eren is obviously incapacitated..." Armin murmured softly; Annie, crouching down beside him, shook her head.

"She knows that he won't regain consciousness for a good while- plenty of time for her to lure everyone into position and make her move."

I blinked, looking between the two blondes in confusion. Armin was smiling shallowly; he let Eren slip from his hands, then, and stood, staring down at the girl.

"Shit."

"Exactly," Annie whispered.

There was a blinding flash of light; a thunderous crash. I shielded my eyes with one hand, but not before I caught a glimpse of Annie Leonheart caught up in a tide of muscle and sinew. I heard Sasha scream; I heard Marco cry out Annie's name.

And then I heard Armin's voice.

"Get back, get back everyone! Take shelter! She'll kill you, she'll kill you if she gets the chance!!"

I followed his order; I couldn't do anything else. With Sasha beside me, I took cover behind the steeple of a nearby church, listening to the chorus of wails that had risen from the collection of civilians trapped by the merchant's cart. I risked peering out, and nearly fainted at what I saw.

The Female Titan was, by far, the strangest creature I had ever seen. Entirely skinless, it stood at 14 meters tall, all muscles and feminine curves. It's eyes glinted with intelligent malice, and one of its hands flexed into a fist as I watched.

"Armin!"

I looked up at Marco's shriek; the blonde hadn't moved, despite his order to us. He was staring up at the Female Titan, Eren in his arms; his mouth was moving, although I couldn't make of his words from my distance away.

And then the innumerable human screams were drowned by one furious, ear-shattering shriek from the Female Titan.

I covered my ears, but it did precious little to block out the horrible noise. Armin, incredibly, didn't flinch, although I could see that there were tears streaking his face. He slung Eren up over his back, then, and leaped away; I saw him scale the same building that Jean and Marco had climbed. The titan's scream petered out, and then all was abruptly silent.

Slowly, I began to make out the shouts of the Rear Guard, approaching us belatedly but still a good ways off. The civilians' panic was rekindling, as well, but amid it all the Female Titan hadn't moved an inch. Neither had Armin, for that matter, apart from a few furtive whispers to Marco and Jean. But all I could possibly think to do was wait- wait for Armin's order, which would surely come eventually.

Then the rumbling began.

At first, I thought it was coming from the civilians, still trapped by the wagon. But it soon became obvious that it was coming from the edges of Trost; the direction of the breach. Slowly, mechanically, I turned; felt tears of fear and disbelief spring to my eyes at what I saw.

A stampede of titans was descending upon us, headed straight for us. The main body of the Rear Guard was within sight now, clearly moving in an attempt to intercept the approaching titans. I could make out too, in the distance, more soldiers pursuing the hoard- the distinctive green capes of the Survey Corpsmen interspersed among them.

"Her scream attracted them." I jumped; Armin had materialized beside me, his face grim. I could feel Sasha trembling violently on my other side. "Get up the Wall- as high as you can."

He didn't need to tell _me_ twice. But Sasha, apparently, valued her life a bit less. "What about the civilians?" she demanded. "It's our sworn duty to defend them! There are children down there!"

Armin looked, for a moment, genuinely pained. "They'll die regardless of what you do, Sasha. They are lost, but this battle is not. Certain sacrifices are necessary."

"Come on, Sasha!" I pleaded, grabbing her shoulder. "We have to keep ourselves alive! Sasha!"

But my friend didn't move. Armin didn't wait for us, either, sailing off the building with Eren in tow. I saw Jean and Marco materialize beside him, Jean shouting for us to follow.

"Krista!!"

Sasha's wail distracted me from Armin and the others; I looked sharply over to see the blonde girl headed straight for the approaching horde, her hair whipping out behind her and Armin's jacket still around her shoulders. Before I could quite grasp that, Sasha had leaped from beside me, following our teammate with a determined look on her face.

"N-no...!" I cried, staggering slightly as my fear pulled me in two directions at once- my fear for Sasha and my fear for my own life. "Sasha!"

"Connie, come on!" Jean yelled. I hardly heard him, watching Sasha race away from me; watching her race toward certain death, with Krista beside her. "Connie!!"

And then I was following them.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I tried not to see the titans; tried to see only Sasha's back; tried to hear only her voice as she cried out my name in surprise.

"I'm not letting you die alone, you idiot," I whispered. "Don't... try to steal all the glory."

My best friend smiled- smiled at me in terror and in gratitude. I glanced at Krista; her face was a mask of determination and tears, and I wondered what had driven her to lead this damned suicidal charge.

The titans were upon us, then. I felt my whole body jarred as I collided head on with one; heard Sasha shriek as one took a swipe at her. I lashed out helplessly, slicing into one's hand as it made to grab me. But I knew that I was dead; I knew that I was already dead. The only thing that kept me fighting was Sasha's voice; I could still hear Sasha.

When her voice ceased, so too would my body.

And then the titan reared up in front of me, jaws stretched wide and right in my path. I heard myself scream, but my whole body had gone numb; I was aware of the creature's hot breath bathing me, but felt no pain. It's teeth glimmered, pearly white and slick with saliva, as my own momentum carried me toward its waiting, undulating tongue. I felt a sob choke me; heard Sasha's voice.

Death.

I had thought I had accepted it.

But this...

... I hadn't accepted this.

The titan's maw snapped shut around me; I shrieked helplessly as its slick tongue wrapped around me, ushering my tiny body toward its waiting chasm of a throat. I clawed, scrambled for anything to grip, but there was nothing as I slid forward, writhing and screaming and fighting and crying. I suddenly felt the most violent desire to live, as the black despair of death made my heart tighten impossibly in my chest. I wanted to go home- I wanted to see my family. I needed to hear Sasha's voice; if I was in this titan's mouth, in this titan's stomach, I couldn't hear her voice. And she couldn't hear mine.

"S-Sasha...!!"

My body was thrown upward suddenly, hitting the roof of the titan's mouth hard enough to flood my vision with stars. I was no longer slipping toward its throat; the titan itself was tipping forward, and I slammed into its rock hard teeth with a yelp. Then light came streaming in from above me, and I looked up to see the dripping pallet tear away as the whole upper half of the titan's head was ripped off by some unseen force. Even my screams had petered out into shocked silence as I struggled to comprehend what was happening.

But then I realized it.

I could hear Sasha's voice again.

I could hear Sasha's voice screaming _my name_.

Another titan loomed up over me, this one with unusually inhuman features- it sported a set of sharp, gnashing fangs and bottomless black eyes, staring down at me with unnerving intensity. It's clawed hands were clenched around what was left of the first titan's head, gripping the thing's lower jaw as it staggered, its head beginning to regenerate even as the second titan and I stared at one another.

I was dead. I was possibly even more dead than I had been moment before.

But I could hear Sasha's voice again.

Getting my shaking legs under me was a task I didn't think was possible, but I managed it. Slipping wildly on the titan’s wet tongue, I groped for my blades, holding one out despite my violent tremors of terror and adrenaline. I tried to summon the courage and strength to charge, but that was beyond me.

I was proud that I would manage to die on my feet, with a blade in my hand and Sasha's voice ringing in my ears.

And then, a new voice.

"Get the fuck on, you little dipshit!"

I felt my jaw to slack. "Excuse me?" The question was out of my mouth before I knew I was speaking- let alone who I was speaking _to_.

"Don't just stand there gawking!" the voice snapped, and I recognized it with a sickening jolt of shock. Then she appeared, leaning out around the side of the strange titan. "Get the hell on if you want to live!"

I wanted to live. I desperately wanted to live.

Sheathing my blades, I jumped as best I could considering my limbs felt as weak as wet paper. But I managed to tangle my trembling fingers in the titan's long hair, pulling myself up until I could stare at the girl that I had seen die.

Ymir huffed crossly, half her body and her lower arms embedded in the strange titan's neck. "Stop your staring and tell me what the _fuck_ is going on!" she snapped. "Why are you committing suicide by titan? And why the fuck are all these titans even _here_?!"

"Th-the... the Female Titan summoned them," I managed to stammer. "That's what Armin said."

"That little shit Armin..." Ymir muttered. "Of course. So _that_ was what made my ears ring like damn church bells. And this Female Titan- she's a Shifter, I assume?"

I nodded helplessly, managing to choke out the name. "... Annie."

"I figured," Ymir muttered. "Where are the others?"

As if on cue, Sasha landed on Ymir's other side. "Ymir?!" she cried, seeming half delighted and half revolted. I wanted to run to her, but I was terrified that I would fall if I loosened my grip on the titan's hair. "Wh-wha-wha-?!"

"Where are the others?!" Ymir demanded again. "Krista! Where's Krista?!"

"Fighting," I said, beginning to get my fear under control. "The three of us chose to fight- to try to protect the civilians. Armin and Jean and Marco climbed the Wall; they have Eren with them."

Ymir cursed colorfully. I noticed, for the first time, the massacre going on all around us. The whole of the military had collided with the stampede of titans, but there were far too many of the monsters. I watched, for a moment, as Corporal Levi zipped like a demonic spirit across my field of vision, taking out half a dozen titans without faltering in his rotation. But ten more sprang up to replace them, and I felt my stomach heave as Humanity's Strongest was knocked from the sky like a pesky fly.

"Hang on!" Ymir snapped at Sasha; the Common Titan under us was beginning to move, lurching as it made a grab for the smaller titan clinging to its head. I watched in awe as my classmate was swallowed up by her titan's flesh, vanishing as the huge creature we were clinging to shook its head slightly.

I couldn't help a soft cry as the titan leaped; her claws dug into the stone of a nearby building, and she scaled it effortlessly. Once at the top, affording us a bird's eye view if the carnage, she once again poked her human head out.

"Help me find Krista!" She sounded more frantic than suited her personality. "My titan relies on scent more than sight- I won't be able to spot her from here!"

 _Scent more than sight..._ That actually made sense, considering her gleaming, ink-black eyes. _Alright... Krista... If she's even still alive..._ I thought, but kept such doubts to myself. Instead I stretched up beside Sasha, gazing out over the battlefield and looking for the tiny blonde girl.

"There!" Sasha cried suddenly, and my head snapped around. It _was_ Krista, by some miracle; Ymir was instantly bounding down the building, leaping over titans' heads and closing in on our teammate with astounding speed. Sasha murmured directions to keep her on the right path, when she strayed too far in one direction or the other. I was vaguely aware that her claws were tearing into any humans she passed as well as titans, but I very deliberately didn't dwell on that.

Then Ymir plowed headlong into the titan that had Krista in its sights; I screamed, and heard Sasha scream, as we were nearly jolted free. Then Ymir was tearing at the titan's neck with razor sharp teeth, spinning then to face our classmate.

"Krista!!" she cried out, upon writhing free of her own titan's nape. "Krista, get on!"

"Ymir?!" The blonde girl's voice was breathy and overjoyed, but also uncertain. I peered around the titan's narrow shoulder.

"Yeah, would'ya believe it?" I called. "Come on, get up here!"

Instantly Krista was scrambling up beside me. I helped her climb the last few feet, after which she pushed past me and rushed to embrace Ymir, despite the hot titan flesh clinging to the girl's frame; Ymir returned the embrace as best she could, with her arms still embedded in the titan.

"I'm so glad you're safe..." I heard the Shifter whisper, before she drew back. "Alright, you said that that little shit Arlert is hiding out on the Wall?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"And Annie?"

I realized, for the first time, that the Female Titan had vanished. "I... I don't know."

Ymir growled with irritation. "Well, I'm willing to bet that she'll come running to Arlert's rescue if we dangle him off the top of Wall Rose," she muttered, and then vanished back into the nape of her titan's neck. I motioned for Krista to hang on; she did, and then we were off again.

Ymir's titan moved with more speed and grace than any I had ever seen. Despite her comparably small size, she was able to dodge around the majority of the titans and soldiers with ease, almost as though she were dancing to a melody that none of us could hear. The Wall loomed up in front of us within moments, and then Ymir had jumped off the nearest titan's head and sunk her talon-like nails into the stone itself.

"Damn..." The word was rasping and distorted, emerging from the titan's mouth. Then she began to climb, hand over hand, her smaller feet frequently slipping as she pulled herself upwards. I wondered why the military hadn't moved to stop what must appear to be an Aberrant climbing Wall Rose, but one glance downward revealed exactly why.

The combined forces of the Forward, Center, and Read Guards had been routed. What soldiers I could see were huddled together, surrounded, trying to keep themselves and their comrades alive for another heartbeat. They had no time to even look up at the Wall, let alone pursue the titan climbing it. The civilians who had been huddled at the Wall were already dead, the cart that had cost them their lives still wedged in the exit, it's owner's dismembered body sprawled across the back end of it.

"We've lost..." Sasha's trembling whisper brought me to attention, and I looked over at her. She was staring at the same scene as I was with glassy eyes, tears spilling down her face. "We've lost Trost..."

"Not yet."

I was surprised to hear the voice, and glanced up to see Armin waiting for us atop the Wall. He wore a small smile.

"Ymir, I presume?" he asked the titan. "I had a feeling there was more to you than met the eye."

I felt the titan beneath us rumble with a growl, and tightened my grip as she bounded up the last few meters, her jaws snapping inches from Armin as he skipped backwards. He appeared to be alone; I couldn't see Jean, Marco _or_ Eren.

Armin Arlert spread his arms. "To be frank, I'm surprised that you went to the trouble of saving them." A nod to us. "I'm not displeased, just surprised. Tell me, did you know about Annie and the others?"

Ymir gave a guttural growl, either unable or unwilling to reply. Swiping out, she made another grab for Armin; he dodged again, although I got the distinct impression that Ymir wasn't really trying.

The blonde boy laughed suddenly; scratched the back of his neck. "Well... this is a bit awkward. I didn't foresee this. I have no idea where you stand, and therefore no idea how I should react! Well... this is a first! I don't have a contingency providing for this. How incredible, that one of the 104th could catch me so off-guard!"

"You aren't all-knowing," I muttered; to my surprise, Armin's gaze switched to me.

"No, I'm not," he said, answering what I thought had been an inaudible murmur. "But I do try. And I'm a bit surprised when I don't succeed."

Ymir leaped forward; Armin didn't try to avoid her this time, letting himself be scooped up in her hand. Then my classmate wriggled out from the titan's neck, twisting so that she could look at Armin.

"Where is Annie?"

"I don't know," he answered. "Do you know what the Coordinate is?"

"Vaguely," she replied. "Is the destruction of the Walls your purpose?"

"Certainly not," he sniffed. "What is the Coordinate?"

"I wouldn't tell you, of all people," she spat, then paused and asked, "Why? Is Eren the Coordinate?"

"According to Annie," Armin replied. "What will you do with Annie, if you find her?"

"Kill her, obviously," the Shifter scoffed. "Would that upset you and your plans?"

"Upset my plans, no; upset me, yes," he admitted. "Do you have any plans of your own?"

"I just want to live in peace," Ymir growled, "for myself and no one else. A trio of hostile Shifters could threaten that, as could an uppity little blonde kid and his plans. The Coordinate, however... that makes things a bit more interesting."

"And you've made things considerably more interesting for me," Armin murmured, with a smirk. "I'm not sure whether I should thank you or not."

With a growl of rage, Ymir ducked back inside her titan. The creature tightened its fist and Armin coughed slightly; I heard a series of cracks as his Maneuver Gear shattered in her grip, and then a drizzle of blood appeared at his lips.

"I think..." the titan rasped, "Annie... will come... for you." I squeaked as she lurched under me, and then held Armin off the edge of Wall Rose as per her threat.

"We aren't allies, Annie and I," Armin replied, his voice strained but calm. "You'd be doing her a favor by getting rid of me, actually. This won't lure her out of wherever she's hiding."

Ymir growled; Krista was pleading softly with her to stop, but I couldn't seem to summon any words. Armin's unruffled demeanor was disturbing, to say the least; I wondered what sort of ace he had up his sleeve, or if he was simply as insane as he appeared.

"Put me down, Ymir." His voice, breathy but steady, was strangely commanding. "If you know about the Ape and its plans, you'll see the importance of putting me down."

_The... Ape...?_

Instantly Ymir was wriggling free of the titan's neck, her eyes wild. "The Ape?!" she demanded, her voice cracking. "What the hell do you know about it?! How did you even find out about it?!"

"I have my sources," Armin answered flippantly, and then gave a yelp of surprise as Ymir flung him like a rag doll. He hit the stone and tumbled several feet before coming to a stop, pushing himself upright with a visible effort.

"What do you know about the Ape?!" Ymir shrieked, and I was shocked to see tears welling in her eyes. "Do you know how to stop it?! Dear _fuck_ , Armin, are you telling me you're going to fight the _Ape Titan_?!"

 _Ape... Titan...?_ Confusion didn't even begin to cover my state of mind. But I knew better than to interrupt with the questions of a mere mortal.

"Yes," Armin answered calmly, standing and brushing himself off; unhooking his wreaked Gear and letting it clatter to the ground. "If you kill me now, no one will be able to stop the advance of the titans. You know I speak the truth."

"You're bluffing..." Ymir growled, and then shrieked it. "You're bluffing!!"

"I've said it and I'll say it again!" Armin's eyes flashed as he took a step forward. "I _wish_ I was bluffing! I do not _want_ this burden! But it is mine to carry! I am _not bluffing_!" He fell silent for a moment; took a deep breath before continuing.  
"No. And since I'm not bluffing... since I chose this burden… I will not shy from the truth. I cannot die yet- you cannot kill me, or the advance of the titans cannot be able to be stopped!"

Ymir's titan faltered beneath us. "You mean to tell me..." the girl said, her voice ravaged as she addressed the boy from Shiganshina, "that you think you can _win_ against the _Ape Titan_?"

"I know I can," he replied, unflinchingly. "The question is whether or not I can count you as an ally."

Ymir growled; the flesh encasing her arms and body rippled, and she squirmed back inside the titan. "Get off," she told us, before she had vanished completely. "Put some distance between us and you. I don't want you three caught up in this."

I was frozen; luckily, Sasha was there to take me by the hand, leading me carefully off the titan's back. Krista hopped down bedside us, although her hand lingered on Ymir's trembling flank. Then all three of us complied with the Shifter's request, putting a dozen or so yards of empty Wall between us.

Once we were far enough away, all three of us turned and looked back. Ymir was out of her titan again; she and Armin were speaking, seemingly civilly, and I wondered how Armin could remain so calm standing an inch from the titan's hot-breathed maw. Sasha hadn’t released my hand. 

Then Ymir's back arched; I heard her voice rise to a shriek, although I couldn't make out the words. Armin looked duly shocked, skipping backwards and grabbing for his Gear, only to discover it missing. I spotted Jean, Marco on his heels, approaching from the other side of the Wall; I felt my own feet move unconsciously forward.

And then Krista was racing past us.

"Ymir, stop!!" she yelled; Sasha, with a cry of objection, grabbed for her and got her shoulder strap. For a moment that stopped her, but within seconds she had unhooked her straps and writhed free of most of her Gear, her blades and gas clattering to the Wall. I didn’t even stop to think, dropping Sasha’s hand and bolting after her as she ran back toward Ymir and Armin.

"Krista, stop!!"

"Ymir, please stop!!"

The titan drew back its clawed hand; Armin faltered, falling back and twisting to the side as she struck out. She missed, but he was down. I heard Jean and Marco wailing something, but they were too far away; I tried again, screaming at Krista to come back, but she ignored me.

And then the small blonde girl, crying out for Ymir to wait, to stop, tripped- sprawled forward, colliding with Armin as he struggled to his feet. The blonde boy yelped, pinwheeling his arms as he staggered closer and closer to the edge of the Wall; fell, with a shriek of surprise and terror, as his feet slipped from the stone. 

But Ymir wasn't giving chase.

The titan's shining black eyes were fixed on the blonde who had fallen in front of her, the blonde whose face was partially covered by the second jacket she wore draped around her shoulders.

_"Help me find Krista! My titan relies on scent more than sight- I won't be able to spot her from here!"_

_That... jacket._

_Krista smells... like Armin...!!_

"Don’t do it, Ymir!! _Ymir!!_ "

The titan's claws came down, scooping the tiny girl's body up and off the Wall, sending it flying. It struck me, bowling me backwards and off my feet; as soon as she hit me, I felt hot blood soak into me. And then I was skidding across the Wall, back past Sasha, coming to rest flat on my back with Krista on top of me.

At least, I realized, what was left of Krista Lenz.

Her midsection had been torn completely open, and I could only feel one of her legs. I sat up hurriedly, half a horrified attempt to get away from the mutilated body and half an attempt to assess the damage.

"Krista?!"

The girl's eyes were clouded; I could tell that she was blind as she looked up at me, and then she began to smile.

"Ymir...!"

I flinched. "N-no, Krista... it's not Ymir, its Connie."

She didn't react; I knew, in that moment, that she was more dead than alive, and instinctively recoiled. "Ymir, I did it...! I... I died... a good person...! And I owe it to you...!

"Ymir, my name... I want you to know! My name is Historia!"

And then, smile still intact on her angelic, bloodied face, she died; her head hit my chest, and her body went limp against mine.

"Connie! Krista!"

I could hardly look at Sasha- Sasha, frantic and beautiful and still alive, if only for just a moment more. Slowly, numbly, I pushed the girl's body off me and stood, aware of the cooling blood soaking the front of my clothes.

"She's dead," I stated, unnecessarily. Sasha's hands flew to her mouth, tears springing to her eyes as I walked slowly past her.

_Sasha... alive... for now… I’m… alive…_

_Krista... is dead…_

"Did you hear that, Ymir?" I called. I couldn't fathom why, but I also couldn't imagine simply staying silent. "You killed her. Krista is dead."

The titan's face looked so incredibly human in its horror and despair. I felt my own heart shudder, with searing pity as well as a pain that was entirely my own.

"Krista is dead."

The titan crumpled, her limbs folding beneath her. I saw human grief twist her face, accented by a horrible rage that I hoped wasn't about to be misdirected at me. Jean and Marco were finally within hearing range, shouting frantic questions; Jean had his blades out.

"Where's Armin?!" Marco demanded; it was the wrong thing to say. Ymir spun with an inhuman shriek, claws up and aimed at our classmate. He pulled up short, barely jerking back in time to avoid them. Then she struck again, with her other hand; Jean intercepted the blow, slicing through her fingers before her claws reached Marco. I was beyond screaming as the hot titan blood splattered me.

"He fell off the edge of the Wall," I said dully. "And then Ymir mistook Krista for him and killed her."

The titan let out a despairing keen, slumping back and burying her face in clawed and bloodied hands. Then she spun, snarling at me; I couldn't bring myself to recoil, even as her hot breath bathed my face.

"Why...?!" she wailed raspingly, and I didn't have an answer for her.

"Do you mean that Krista and Armin are both dead?!" Jean demanded; I could only nod.

"I just saw Krista die. And no one could survive a fall from the top of the Wall. He didn’t have his Gear on."

With a sudden, guttural whimpering, Ymir rose and loped toward the edge of the Wall. I, reasonably certain that Armin was as dead as the girl who had died in my arms, simply stared after her. Marco was trembling visibly; Jean cursed and flung his blade down.

"Without Arlert, we're all thoroughly fucked," he spat. "And now Krista..."

I could only nod numbly. I hadn't the slightest inkling of Arlert's importance, but I knew that his death wouldn't be without its repercussions. And Krista... the most innocent of us all...

_"Ymir, I did it...! I... I died... a good person...!"_

_What... did that... mean...? Krista... she was always a... good person..._

_… Wasn’t she…?_

"Jean," I asked suddenly, perhaps inappropriately, "Marco... what do you think it means to be a 'good person?'"

Jean gave me an irritated look, but Marco's eyebrows arched with surprise. "Why do you ask?"

I shrugged, fidgeting uncomfortably. "It was just... something that Krista said. Before she died." _I should... tell Ymir. Krista's last words... they were for her._

Marco looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "I... think its a very... relative concept. At least... that's what Armin said… and that makes a lot of sense to me."

A tremendous _crack_ rang out, capturing all our attentions before I could think about Marco's strange answer. And then Ymir was flying past us, her claws scraping along the stone as she struggled to get a grip and stop her wild flight. My head snapped around, eyes instantly focusing on the massive, skinless hand gripping the Wall. After several tenuous heartbeats, the Female Titan hauled itself up over the edge, face twisted in something like rage.

"Let's go!"

I jumped at the hiss close to my ear, more than a bit startled when the blonde whisked past me.

"Armin!" Marco exclaimed; the blonde nodded briskly, and I noticed that he was slipping into and frantically adjusting Krista's discarded Gear.

"Come on!" he said urgently, shoving my shoulder. "They'll only be distracted by one another for so long! We have to get out of here!"

"Well come on!" Jean called, tearing off after Armin; I was far more inclined to obey him, and so followed. Marco, too, followed instantly, and then I was aware of Sasha at my shoulder.

Ymir slammed suddenly into the Wall, several feet in front of us; the Female Titan's fist smashed into the stone inches from her head, and Ymir writhed frantically to get her feet back under her. She sprang up, shrieking with rage, and scrambled up the Female Titan's arm; the later jerked back in surprise, ducking to avoid having her eyes clawed out.

"Come on!!" Jean screamed; Armin had darted around, past the battling titans, and my two teammates were following unquestioningly. I grabbed Sasha's wrist instinctually, the thought that we might be separated making my heart pound harder than it was already.

She was crying- silently, unflinchingly.

Ymir let out a horrible shriek as the Female Titan landed a devastating punch to her shoulder; the much smaller titan crashed to the ground, screaming in pain and anger. Then the Female Titan was upon her, and Ymir didn't have the time or the strength to dance out of the way.

I couldn't make a sound when the Female Titans teeth sunk into the nape of Ymir's neck. I also couldn't bring myself to keep running as I heard Ymir's human voice, raised in pain and rage and terror. I skidded to a halt; Sasha, still attached to my hand, did as well.

"Con-?!"

"Ymir!!" I shouted, as loudly as I could with my voice beginning to break. "Krista, she wanted to thank you!! I don't know why, but... as she was dying, she thought I was you! She said 'Thank you, Ymir! I could die a good person because of you! And my name is Historia!!'"

Amid the horrible tangle of bloody flesh and gnashing titan teeth, I saw Ymir's face. It had never been a nice face, I had though; it had been harsh and unpleasant, and favored nasty little smirks over honest smiles.

But in that instant, Ymir was smiling- it was the most gentle, peaceful expression I had ever seen, on anyone's face. And she was saying something; I couldn't be certain at that distance, but it certainly looked like the name "Historia."

"Connie! Sasha! Come on!!"

Jean's voice brought me to attention. I looked away as the Female Titan bit down; I began, once again, to run. Armin had taken to the skies, and I knew that I would end up following him one way or another.

But I was glad I had stopped, if only for a moment, to speak the words that were never meant for me. And as I ran, I tightened my grip on Sasha's hand until I could feel the pulse of her heart through her fragile skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments, as per usual, absolutely make my day! ~~You can send hate, too, aaaah... haha......~~
> 
> ... I'll probably post a commentary of sorts about this chapter on tumblr later. So check that out if you're interested. There's a lot in this one I feel the need to rant about. 3dmgshenanigans is my tumblr, in case you don't know~


	10. The Hated and Merciful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have such a splitting headache that I wouldn't be surprised if I drop dead from a brain hemorrhage tomorrow. 
> 
> But I got this done. _For you._ Be grateful. 
> 
> But in all seriousness, I do hope you enjoy this installment of The Lost and the Caged! It was a lot of fun to write, considering the inordinate amount of time I spent angsting over it. :P

I could feel blood soaking into me from every direction- seeping up from the ground through the soles of my feet, showering down on me from the sky, and trickling in through my eye sockets every time I saw someone torn apart.

Armin was making this necessary. And for that, I hated him.

However, Armin was as powerless to resist his Mission as I was to resist mine. And for that, I pitied him.

"Reiner," I said softly; the military's forces had nearly been routed, each moment bringing humanity closer to complete subjugation at the hands of the titans. "Get ready."

"Get ready for what?!" my friend demanded gruffly, and I winced.

"Reiner, I don't need the Soldier right now. I need the Warrior by my side."

For a moment he was blinking at me in confusion; I felt my heart twist. We were supposed to be in this together- at the very least, we were supposed to bear this burden together. But Reiner had created an escape for himself- a selfish escape that left me to struggle with the weight of the Mission alone. I needed him, the real Reiner, to stand at my side. The sad thing was, though, I couldn't tell which persona _was_ the real Reiner anymore, nor could I begrudge him his coping mechanism.

I could only despair for myself.

Then my childhood friend was facing me, the old Warrior determination glinting in his eyes. "Get ready. Right. I am ready, Bertl."

I felt my heart swell suddenly, my strength returning along with Reiner's conviction. I took momentary shelter atop a tall building, Reiner bounding up beside me, to survey our surroundings. The titans had overrun the military's forces; what was left of the Garrison was beating a hasty retreat, although there were pockets of Survey Corpsmen still fighting. I grimaced; they were so brave, such good men, and they would all die for it.

A sudden commotion from the top of Wall Rose drew my attention, and I felt my eyes widen in shock at what I saw. Annie- it was undoubted Annie, even at this distance -was engaging a strange, almost monkey-like titan atop the Wall. Annie wasn't supposed to be fighting in titan form, not once Jaeger was neutralized.

"What's going on...?" was all I could whisper. "What could possibly be going on?"

As I watched, the smaller titan seemed to dance around Annie, hopping first one way and then the other. Despite its impressive agility and speed, though, it was at a clear disadvantage, and soon Annie had it pinned down. I could just make out a number of smaller figures, humans, fleeing from the scene; they were too far away to identify, although I could see a smudge of gold leading the rest of them.

_... Armin...?_

"Where are you two headed?"

I jumped, startled, at the voice behind us. The Ackerman girl had landed on the roof, as well- she, amid the carnage, didn't have a spot of blood on her skin or uniform.

"W-we're n-not..." I began, and then cursed my own stutter as the girl peered more closely at the both of us. _She knows, she knows, she_ knows _...!_ I whimpered silently, cursing Arlert for the hundredth time. _Oh_ Maria _she_ knows _...!_

Mikasa's eyes narrowed further. "Might I suggest we head toward Wall Rose? That seems to be where the survivors are trying to regroup."

Reiner glanced at me; I remembered a time when we had made decisions _together_ , but nowadays he simply didn't have the presence of mind to give me any rational input. I hated how divided his heart had become; I missed having a real partner.

"Y-yeah..." I said finally. "Let's... let's do that."

Mikasa's gaze didn't waver, but after a moment she nodded. "Alright. Let's go."

Reiner followed me as I took off after the girl; I watched her back, debating whether or not I should try to attack her. Neither Reiner nor I had held back in the final exam, and Mikasa Ackerman had beaten us both; I wondered if either of us could take her on our own, and decided that the chances were low. _If we were fighting a human_ as _a human,_ I added. _I doubt even_ she _could beat the Colossal Titan or the Armored Titan. I'm still exhausted from transforming earlier... but Reiner was planning to Shift anyway, to break down Wall Rose. If she tries to stop him then... as she inevitably will... then we'll have her._

The Wall was rearing up in front of us quickly; I could see Reiner shooting me furtive glances, obviously waiting for me to give the signal. Annie had vanished again- presumably waiting, in relative safety, on the other side of the Wall. That was the plan: neutralize Jaeger, which had obviously already been accomplished, capture or kill Ackerman if possible, overwhelm the military with a stampede of Common Titans, and then Reiner would break down Wall Rose and send what was left of humanity spiraling into chaos and despair. After that, Armin Arlert and the Coordinate would have no choice but to side with us. That was the plan that Annie and I had come up with, and that was the plan that had to work.

But something wasn't right.

Why had Annie transformed to fight that strange, Dancing Titan? Why was Arlert still mobile, and with a group of people- probably the 104th -following him, no less? Why was Ackerman leading us _toward_ the Wall? I was more than a bit nervous about proceeding as planned with so many things seemingly out of place. Yet... what else could I do? For the good of the Mission, I had to put my faith in my comrades, in Annie and in Reiner, and proceed with the plan.

I wanted so desperately to go home. And we needed the Coordinate to go home.

I nodded to Reiner; instantly he had dropped back and to the side, arching casually into Mikasa's blind spot. He raised his hand to his mouth as I closed in on the girl, my blades sliding silently from their sheaths. I didn't want to kill her; it would make the Coordinate considerably less agreeable if we killed his adopted sister, and I hated unnecessary killing besides. However, I certainly didn't want her able to interfere, and it would be easy enough to knock her unconscious from behind. I put on a slight burst of speed, closing on her, bringing up the hilt of one blade...

Mikasa Ackerman spun in the air, a maneuver that would have been impossible for an ordinary human, one blade slicing neatly into my wrist. I heard Reiner give a shout of surprise, and heard my own voice raised in a startled cry of pain as my hand- and blade -went clattering into the alley below. I barely salvaged my landing, skittering to a halt on a passing rooftop.

"Bertholdt!" Reiner roared, as he curved back around; Mikasa had landed in front of me, her feet crossed neatly on the ridge of the roof.

"You didn't think it would be so easy, did you?" she asked coldly, pointing her blade at me. "Really, Colossal Titan- you didn't think it would be so easy, did you?"

I faltered, taking a step backwards. I hated people like her; people who would belittle their opponent as they fought. No one wanted to fight- why couldn't she realize that? It was as though she was mocking my struggle- _our_ struggle to return home.

"I-I never thought that."

Mikasa huffed crossly, leaping out of the way as Reiner smashed into the spot she had been standing a moment before.

"Bertl, are you okay?!" he demanded, and I felt a rush of heat.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine." The bleeding had already stopped; I cradled the stump of my hand for a moment, wondering how long it would take to fully regenerate. _Too long..._ I thought crossly. _At least it was only my left hand..._

"You won't be fine for long." Mikasa Ackerman's eyes glowed like a demon's as she leered at me calmly from her elevated perch. "Make your peace with the world while you can, because I'm going to kill you."

I took another step backwards and glanced at Reiner. He nodded; he was ready. He raised his hand to his mouth, prepared to Shift.

"Bertholdt! Reiner!"

"Mikasa! Mikasa, hold off!"

_Armin...! And Jean, and Marco... and Connie and Sasha...!_ I cursed violently; exchanged a glance with Reiner and hid my wounded hand inside my jacket as best I could.

"Bertholdt! You're okay!" There were tears in Sasha's eyes, and her joyous voice speared my heart. She plowed into me, her arms wrapping tightly around my midsection.

"Reiner, man!" Connie's relief was nearly as potent as he approached my friend. "I'm so glad you're alive! I never shoulda doubted you two, though!" I cursed again in the privacy of my own head, because I could see the Soldier struggling to reemerge.

"Mikasa." Armin's voice was calm; he glanced at me briefly, and I could tell that he wanted me within earshot. _Figure it out._ His eyes were a challenge. _I'm going to take you down. Figure out my plan, if you can._ "Take Connie and Sasha- they'll obey you. Go back with them and fetch Miss Rico; she should be regaining consciousness. I want you to evacuate what's left of the army."

"What?!" Mikasa hissed, but a moment later her eyes softened. "Very well, Armin. I won't question you, as promised."

Armin smiled sadly; pressed his forehead briefly to hers. "Come back alive..." I couldn't hear the words, but I read them on his lips. "Please, Mikasa... come back alive..."

"Where's Eren?" the girl whispered.

"Safe," was all Armin replied. "We'll retrieve him after this is all over."

_Annie must have won..._ I thought, taking a moment to be proud of my dear friend. _The Coordinate is out of the fight. But Armin doesn't seem ruffled..._

"Connie! Sasha!" Armin called suddenly; I wondered why the members of the 104th responded so readily to his commands. "Follow Mikasa- obey her like you would obey me. You're going to meet up with Miss Rico again, and return to the main battle. Your goal is as follows: evacuate all surviving soldiers, from both the Garrison and the Survey Corps. Get them up the Wall, and then stay put. Jean, Marco, you're still with me, at least until I say to follow everyone else up the Wall."

"Come on," Mikasa said, motioning to our classmates. "We've got to get moving if we expect anyone to be alive to rescue."

Sasha reluctantly pulled away from me; Connie split from Reiner, with a murmured order to survive the battle. I saw the Soldier rest one hand on our classmate's shoulder, then the Warrior pushed him gently off to join Sasha and Mikasa. I felt my throat tighten with emotion. Mikasa led the two of them off without further hesitation, and then I faced Armin- Jean was drifting toward me, seeming concerned about the spatters of blood seeping through my jacket. I wondered if we shout try to kill Jean and Marco now; when I glanced at Reiner, I was dismayed to find the Soldier still visible.

"Bertholdt."

I looked nervously up at Armin; his eyes were cold.

"What happened to your hand?"

_Jean... and Marco... he wants to out us to Jean and Marco..._ Maria _, why is this so painful...?!_

"I-it's just a scratch."

Armin took a single step forward; laid one hand on Jean's shoulder and held him gently back.

"Can we see?"

I flinched. _Why are you doing this? Why couldn't you have just sent them off with the others?!_

I already knew why. With Jean and Marco there, Reiner wouldn't be able to switch 100% back into his Warrior persona- darn close, perhaps, but not 100%.

_Be grateful I sent Connie and Sasha away._ His eyes were liquid pain, and once again I was reminded that he loathed this as much as I did- resented what his plans were costing him. But he was willing to do what was necessary, and so to must I be.

So I pulled out my hand.

Jean let out a soft cry and recoiled instantly; Marco's reaction was less potent, and I guessed that the poor boy was in a mild state of shock. The stump of my wrist had already begun to heal, the flesh twisting slightly and beginning to steam as I allowed the healing to resume.

"I'm sorry, Jean; Marco." I had to say it- I _had_ to, lest it choke me. "Run. Please, run away. I have no desire to see you hurt."

Jean's eyes were hardening; I flinched at the expression. "What the fuck is this, man?!" he demanded, taking a step forward. "Armin?! What the fuck does this mean?!"

"Bertholdt is an enemy of humanity, Jean; Marco." Armin's voice was calm, his eyes locked on me. "He and Reiner have been plotting, with Annie, to bring the Walls down."

"That's fucking hard to deny, man!" Jean said, pointing at my incriminating wound. "You can't tell us you're a _good_ titan, right?!"

"What's to say that Armin and Eren aren't the ones who want to bring the Walls down?" I demanded. "Are you really going to trust them over your own-" _teammates?_ Tears sprang to my eyes. _Teammates... teammates...! Why can't I say it?!_

"I don't know who to trust anymore!" Jean admitted, his voice breaking. "I... I don't _know_!! But Armin... he knew all this was going to happen! He knows what _will_ happen if Trost falls!"

"And what will happen if Trost falls, Jean?" Armin's words were whisper-soft; his eyes were dark.

"We'll... we'll be overrun..." the brunette continued softly, his hands clenching into fists. "And the survivors..." his voice suddenly rose to a shriek, "the survivors will be turned into titans!"

I flinched back, my gaze jerking to Armin. _You told them?! You told then about the_ Ape _?!_ That's _how you're controlling them?!_

"That's right, Jean..." Armin murmured. "It's up to us to make sure that doesn't happen. I... won't let that happen. So lend me your strength, just briefly."

"But against _Bertholdt_ and _Reiner_?!" Marco keened suddenly. "You... you haven't given us any proof that they're our enemies, just... just that Bertholdt is a Shifter! Ymir was a Shifter, too, and she wasn't our enemy! She just wanted to live in peace!!"

I felt a violent shock of surprise race up my spine. _Ymir... was a Shifter?!_ An image of the Dancing Titan and Annie flashed into my mind, and it suddenly made sense why she had transformed to fight the mysterious titan. _That also means... that Ymir is dead._ My stomach lurched with sickness, but I tried to keep it off my face; I knew that Armin could tell anyway.

"I need proof!" Marco was still saying, and Jean looked as though he agreed.

"You've chosen a side, Bertholdt," Armin said softly. "None of us can move forward until you admit to it."

I felt my whole body begin tremble- he was pushing and pushing and pushing, when I was already on the verge of collapse. I longed to pushed back, but I couldn't bring myself to; we were too similar, so similar that breaking him would be like breaking myself.

"Say it, Bertholdt. Just say it. It'll hurt less, that way."

"..." My shaking was getting worse. I was afraid that my legs were about to give out, but somehow I managed to stay standing. My heart was pounding- no, pounding was the wrong word; my heart was spasming, palpitating, breaking into a million tiny pieces.

"Bertholdt, let's get out of here," Reiner called gruffly. "Don't pay attention to that little blonde kid."

The Warrior- my Warrior was back. I felt emotion choke me, and suddenly I felt just a bit stronger.

"Reiner, we can't... run from this."

Armin's face split in a sudden grin. "Here we go. Let's end this, for both our sakes."

I drew my blade; Reiner responded instantly, springing for Armin. The blonde ducked; Marco screamed and Jean drew his blades, although he looked less than certain about which side he was backing. Armin rolled in a controlled maneuver down the slope of the roof, then caught himself with one outstretched leg and darted to the side as Reiner crashed into the spot he had been a moment before. Then I was moving to intercept him. Annie hadn't wanted us to kill him, but what was necessary was necessary.

And I knew that he wouldn't begrudge me the act, just as I wouldn't hold my own death against him.

Armin swerved; he was moving quickly, but not as quickly as he had been at the beginning of the battle. I could see a wound seeping dark blood on his shoulder; I could see the exhaustion dimming his otherwise piercing gaze.

We had him.

And then Jean was between us, his blades up and blocking mine just as I swiped for Armin Arlert's throat. The blonde slipped, surprised and obviously weary, and hit the roof on his side.

"Jean?!" he gasped out.

"Jean!!" Marco, somewhere to the side, wailed.

" _Nobody_ kills _anybody_ until we get answers," he growled. "Until we get the _truth_! Annie's a titan, and she tried to kill us- it isn't unthinkable that you're with her. It's actually pretty likely, now that I think about it."

I felt my temper rage up within me. "Pick a side, Jean!" I snapped. "This isn't a battle where you have the _luxury_ of waiting for any sort of certainty to act!"

And then Reiner had materialized behind him, blade drawn back.

"Sorry, Jean," he murmured, with the Soldier's last feeble ounce of control. "You've already condemned us, which leaves me no choice."

Arlert was up before any of us could react, deflecting Reiner's blades just as they were about to slip into Jean's back. Gasping with exertion, he drove at the Warrior; although he was easily blocked, the attack forced Reiner back a footstep. Jean spun away from me to see what was going on; I aimed, not allowing myself to think, for his his neck.

"Armin!!" the brunette called. It was incredibly obvious, to the both of us, that Armin should not be trying to engage Reiner; his blades bounced off the much larger boy's, and he could barely dodge the counterattacks. _But... he engaged Reiner... for Jean's sake..._ The fact confused me. Arlert was supposed to care only about himself and his two friends; Jean wasn't so strategically important to justify taking such risks to keep him alive.

_So... why...?_

Forcing the fog of confusion to dissipate, I raised my blade another fraction of an inch, then brought it down on Jean's exposed neck. There was a flash of movement; a flash of blood.

And a scream.

I blinked in surprise, shocked to find my blade embedded halfway in Marco's shoulder. Both of his were out and, even as I stared, he drove them both into my stomach with a cry that was half defiance and half agony. I felt my face twist with pain and anger; forced my blade down another inch and felt his clavicle snap beneath the pressure.

"Marco!!" Jean wailed, spinning and diving at me; the force of his attack was enough to rip me free of Marco, who stumbled briefly and then slumped, releasing his blades so that they came away with me. I raised my arm to block Jean, blood spattering his agonized face as he sliced open my forearm.

_Why are we losing...?_

_Because... I'm still not fighting._

I wasn't; I didn't want to; I _couldn't_. Not against Jean and Marco. That was why Armin seemed willing to risk himself for their sake- they were his plan for beating us, or at least stalling us.

_Why?!_ I wailed silently. _Why must you toy with lives and emotions... so easily?!_

Leaping up, I dodged Jean's next flailing attack. Spinning sideways, I caught the side of his head with the tip of my blade, shearing off the top of his ear and opening a thin gash along his temple. Gasping in surprise, he clutched at the wound, but fell perfectly still when my blade slipped just an inch into the skin of his back.

_I... have to kill him..._ I flexed my left hand, nearly regenerated, and pulled Marco's blades belatedly from my stomach. Bracing myself, I drove the blade in deeper; heard him begin to scream...

... and then suddenly, the whole world was upside down.

I felt a brief flare of pain, but it wasn't as much as someone might expect. As it was, Armin had missed his mark just slightly; perhaps Reiner had distracted him, or perhaps he hadn't meant to finish me. Regardless, my head _didn't_ come clean off, but did swing awkwardly to the side as my neck was cut halfway through. I felt hot blood spurt up; heard Jean's screaming change pitch. Staggering slightly, blades falling from my hands, I dropped onto my knees and reached up; it took a concentrated effort to control my violently shaking limbs, but I managed to get a good grip on my head, setting it back on my raggedly torn neck so that the healing could begin.

I took a moment, on my knees, to heal and catch my breath. Then I turned, slowly assessing the situation. Reiner was holding a slightly squirming Armin; his eyes were on me, awaiting my order. Jean was crouched over Marco, pressing desperately at the bleeding gash on his shoulder. The freckled boy was conscious, but I doubted he would be able to fight, even once Jean managed to get his wound wrapped up. _If he even survives..._ I added grimly. The blood loss looked tremendous, perhaps more than a human could withstand. When I was fairly certain that my neck wouldn't tear apart the second I moved, I rose; faced Armin.

"What now?" I asked, tiredly. "Was this part of your plan?"

"Jean! Marco!" he called, ignoring my question. "Get up the Wall. I appreciate what you've done up until now, but you'll be killed if you stay. I can handle things from here."

"You can 'handle things?!'" Jean demanded. "What the _fuck_ , man?! You're gonna _die_ if we leave you alone with these two!!"

He should die, left alone with us... but I had learned not to underestimate Armin Arlert. If he said he could handle things... I was inclined to believe that he could, despite appearances.

"Trust me, Jean. Go join Mikasa and the others, like we talked about. I'll need you alive after we win this battle- as we are well on our way to doing."

Jean, with visible reluctance, nodded; he helped Marco up, then, and took off unsteadily. I briefly considered running them down and killing them both, but dismissed it as unnecessary.

"What is your plan, Armin Arlert?"

He didn't even look uncomfortable, restrained by Reiner's muscular arms. "Have Reiner Shift, Bertholdt. I won't interfere."

I felt surprise flair up in me. "Reiner... have him Shift? Are you telling me to go ahead and have him knock down Wall Rose?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Armin said calmly. "Neither of our plans can advance until Reiner Shifts."

_... Is he bluffing...?_ Armin Arlert never bluffed, though. _Why would he even...? He doesn't have a Shifter on his side. As soon as Reiner transforms, he's done for- he can't possibly counter the Armored Titan._

"If... Reiner transforms, Wall Rose will be breached."

"Correct."

"And if Wall Rose is breached, Trost will be lost."

"Correct again."

"And... by your own admission..." I swallowed nervously, although my throat shifted unnaturally as I did so, "... if Trost falls, you'll join us... willingly."

Armin Arlert smiled. "Yes. By my own admission."

I couldn't figure out what he was getting at- it couldn't be that straightforward. But I also couldn't see any possible disadvantage to Reiner transforming. _"Neither of our plans... can advance..."_ Of everything Armin Arlert had said, that seemed to be the truth; we certainly did seem to be at a stalemate at the moment.

"Alright. I'll play along."

Reiner dropped Armin; the small boy hit the ground, gasping slightly, and I suddenly realized how close to his physical limit he really was. But he managed to stand; to face Reiner.

"Go on," I said, and my Warrior nodded briskly. Then he sunk his teeth into his hand, blood spurting out around the wound; electricity crackling down from the sky.

And then Reiner began to scream.

I felt my whole body stiffen at the sound; I heard the brief creaking of titan bones hidden in the steam, and then a tremendous crash. Shielding my face from the heat, I braced myself. Something was wrong- terribly wrong. I wondered what order I had given, if not the order for Reiner to Shift.

And then the smoke cleared. I saw, much to my alarm, a very human Reiner curled amidst several cracked titan bones and fast-dissolving bits of flesh, none of which had successfully attached to his body. With a glance at Armin, seeing he hadn't moved, I ran to my friend's side and dropped down next to him.

"R-Reiner...! Reiner, what happened?!"

"Sorry... Bertl..." he gasped out softly, then grit his teeth. "I... don't know..."

I reached forward and touched his shoulder; it felt feverish, alarmingly hot, even for a Shifter. As I watched he wretched slightly, blood and a greenish bile spattering the ground. Then I spun, blades sliding from their sheaths as I stalked toward Armin Arlert, who still hadn't moved an inch.

"What did you _do_?!" I demanded, crossing my blades at his neck. The small blonde didn't flinch, but raised his head slightly higher, exposing even more of his tender throat.

"It's a poison I developed, back in Shiganshina," he said softly. "I had the benefit of Grisha Jaeger's notes, remember, _and_ a Shifter to experiment on. I know Shifter biology inside and out. This particular compound is triggered by an attempted Shift. It systematically raises the victim's temperature, through massive releases of pyruvate, far above what is survivable... even for a Shifter. Your connective tissues literally start to boil as your muscles dissolve- even Shifter proteins begin to denature in this sort of heat."

"When would you have-?!" I began, but then hit upon it. "The party last night...!"

"Exactly," he whispered. "One of Reiner's personas would certainly have caught me poisoning his drink... but the the other, the one that was dominant during the graduation ceremony and the celebration afterwards... didn't."

I felt tears prick at my eyes, but blinked them away. "You... scum...!" was all I could gasp out, pressing harder with my blades. "I'll kill you... I'll kill you!"

"And if you do, you'll never know how to make the antidote."

That got my attention; snapped me from my rage-induced haze. "What?"

"The antidote," Armin repeated calmly. "I tested this poison on Eren- do you really think I would risk that if I didn't have an antidote? And I'm more than willing to give it to you, if you only do exactly what I say."

"Don't do it, Bertl...!" Reiner's voice cut in before I could reply. "It's not worth the Mission...! Don't cave to him...! I can beat this...!"

I looked over, my eyes aching with tears. Reiner had gotten to his feet, although he looked anything but well. His eyes were gleaming, the old Warrior determination burning as brightly as the fever. I felt my whole body rebel as I watched him struggle, for a moment, to stay on his feet.

"I don't care how strong he is- he has an hour or so left," Armin said calmly. "Make your decision quickly, Bertholdt. I don't want him to die; I want everyone to survive this battle. But more than that, I need to win this battle. Don't make me kill him to do it."

I closed my eyes briefly; bit my lip, feeling my insides twist into knots as I considered it. _Damn..._ damn _...!! Armin Arlert... he has me... damnit, he has me...!!_

"What do you want me to do, Armin?"

His face tried to split in a grin of triumph, but the expression faltered for a moment and soured. I heard Reiner give a soft objection, but ignored him; we could always kill Armin Arlert after we had gotten the antidote. And besides that rationalization, I couldn't bear to lose Reiner, regardless of his mental state or the way the Soldier often pushed me away.

"We're going to rendezvous with Annie," the Shiganshinan boy announced, "and then we'll meet up with Eren. So first we have to make it to Wall Rose."

_"Make it," he says..._ I thought grimly. _He's nearing exhaustion... Reiner is crippled by his poison... and I..._ Looking around, I took in the hoard of Common Titans encircling our rooftop. It would have been easy to forget about them, in the midst of all the drama, but to do so would have cost all our lives. The majority of the surviving soldiers were scaling the Wall, in accordance with Armin's orders; when I strained, I could just make out Erwin Smith at their head, with Jean beside him.

"Erwin knows the importance of obeying my orders," Armin said softly, an odd smile on his face. "Erwin knows." Then he gave himself a shake, motioning to me. "Let's go."

Nodding slightly, I turned back to Reiner; he looked wretched, having slumped back to his knees. But he struggled to his feet when he noticed that I was watching him, his face a mask of bravery.

"Let's go, Bertl. Annie will know what to do."

I felt my heart swell with affection and fear; I couldn't stand to lose him, my brave and powerful Warrior. _I won't lose him..._ I told myself firmly. _He's... the one thing I don't have to give up. He and Annie... we'll face this together, and we'll win. We'll all get back home, together._

_If I have to play along with Armin Arlert to reach that end, then so be it._

Reiner took off unsteadily from the rooftop; I shadowed him closely, terrified that he would falter and fall prey to a Common. Armin followed us, seeming entirely relaxed. I considered, briefly, trying to overpower him; I was certain that I could. But I was also certain that pain and death meant nothing to him; I could kill him in the slowest and most painful of ways known to man, fifty times over, and I was certain that he wouldn't crack.

_”l don't want him to die; I want everyone to survive this battle."_ Despite it all, I believed that; he, like me, had no taste for meaningless death or suffering. Everything he was doing, he saw as necessary to his own victory, which was something that he would sacrifice anything to achieve. And he wanted that victory not only for himself, but more for his two friends.

I couldn't bring myself to hate him, even in that moment. We were too alike.

We reached the Wall, miracle of miracles, without incident. Reiner collapsed against the stone, his whole body trembling as he laid flat against it. His face was flushed, and he let his eyes close for a moment as he tried desperately to catch his breath. I moved to his side; pressed my body gently against his. It was as hot as if he had emerged from the Armored Titan seconds ago.

"Bertholdt." Armin's voice was surprisingly gentle. "Listen closely to me, now. You must have a way to call Annie out of wherever she's hiding, right? I need you to do that for me. Be as upfront with her as you'd like- I'm not foolish enough to think I can get you to lie convincingly to her. Then we'll discuss the terms of your surrender- despite what you might think right now, there are several points I'm willing to negotiate on."

"Don't do it, Bertl...!!" Reiner's voice rasped in his throat, and I could see him weakening minute to minute.

_Less... than an hour..._

"I... won't promise anything," I murmured, "but we'll hear you out."

Armin nodded, although his expression was anything but triumphant- it seemed, for an instant, to be troubled. But that expression vanished so quickly that I couldn't be sure I had seen it.

"Good. Let's go, then."

There were a few stragglers still limping their way up Wall Rose; they acknowledged us, and we them. Then we were at the top, hopping up at the edge of a massive gathering of soldiers. I was mildly surprised by how many had actually survived, although most were limping or bleeding or wailing with trauma. I saw Connie and Sasha, glued to one another; I spotted Jean, speaking to Commander Erwin Smith, near the head of the group, and with Marco resting on the ground just behind him. And there was Mikasa, as well, her eyes fixed on us.

"Well?" Armin queried, looking to me. I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, wondering what I should do. Reiner had sunk to his knees again, doubled over slightly as he wheezed.

"... Alright."

Waiting for Reiner to get to his feet, I took off down Rose at a loping trot. I noticed that, even at such a reasonable pace, Armin was having trouble keeping up- more trouble, even, than Reiner. But his face was grim and determined, and he reminded me, just for a moment, of my Warrior.

"Alright..." I said softly, skidding to a halt some distance from the other soldiers. "The original plan was for Annie to hide until after the battle, so we actually don't have a way of getting in contact with her. But this was the section of the Wall she was going to hide on, so-"

"Annie's too smart for that," Armin scoffed, cutting me off. "You have to have some sort of emergency signal for summoning her. You already Shifted, in order to kick the Wall in; you can't do it again today- according to Grisha's notes, a crippling weakness for all Colossal Class Shifters. As capable as the both of you are, even excluding Reiner's Shifting, you had to have a fail-safe to summon the Female Titan, should you need her."

I flinched. Was it impossible to pull _anything_ , even the simplest of lies, over on Armin Arlert? Apparently the answer was a resounding yes.

"You're only wasting what little time Reiner has left."

"She gave me this," the reminder made me admit in a rush. After a moment of rustling around in my pockets, I produced the signal gun. "I don't know what it'll do, but she said to use it in an emergency, if we needed her."

Armin took the small device from me; examined it. "Just like Annie," he murmured, and then fired the gun without further warning. I flinched at the sound, then watched as a shimmering white trail of smoke ascended into the sky. Armin too watched, his eyes clouded slightly. I glanced furtively over at the soldiers; some had noticed the strange signal, but most were too preoccupied. Then, within moments, the signal had blended into the wispy clouds, as if it had never been there.

"Now we wait..."

It wasn't quite the truth that I didn't know what the signal would do. Annie had told me to use it if we were in mortal danger; that she would come for us. I didn't think I was wrong when I assumed that she would be coming for us in her titan form. I hoped that she wouldn't jump to any conclusions and just speak to us calmly. I doubted that she would give up Reiner voluntarily, but if he _told_ her to sacrifice him... I wasn't sure how she would react.

_We've_ got _to play along with Armin... just until we get the antidote...! When Reiner can Shift again... we can regroup at any time. As long as all of us survive, we can try again... and Armin Arlert can only stop us so many times._ I glanced over at the boy; he was shaking almost as hard as Reiner was, his shoulder wound still oozing black blood. But his eyes were bright; I couldn't understand how he was still functioning so well. _But the important thing is that he has limits... If this battle stretches on for much longer... he'll drop dead from sheer exhaustion._

The lightning bolt was right on cue; Armin didn't seem surprised. But then a chorus of wails arose from the huddled soldiers, and that made the small blonde stiffen and stand.

"Shit... if they panic... _shit_...!"

Then he was running; I jumped to my feet, and Reiner faltered as he tried to do the same. "Stay here!" I called to him, as I pursued our small enemy; it would do no good for him to waste his flagging strength.

Armin's panicked voice rang in my ears as I caught up to him, and it occurred to me suddenly that he was slipping. Of course the surviving soldiers would panic when the Female Titan appeared; the fact that Armin had overlooked something so basic was a clear indication that his mind was as weary as his body.

"Everyone... everyone get farther down the Wall!" he was shouting, as he approached the crowd. Jean and Mikasa were side-by-side as they raced from the crowd to meet him, although Jean recoiled visibly at the sight of me. Armin skidded to a halt, but his legs buckled suddenly and he fell, shredding his slacks and skinning both his knees on the stone of Wall Rose.

"Armin!" Mikasa cried out, but he waved her off as she began to kneel beside him; he got back to his feet on his own.

"G-Gather the soldiers...!" he gasped out. "Tell... Jean, tell Erwin to get his men as far away from here as possible, as quickly as possible! The Female Titan is coming back!"

"What?!" Jean yelped, but Mikasa grabbed his shoulder and shoved him back toward the soldiers.

"Go," she ordered. "Go!" Not stopping to see if he had obeyed- which he did -she turned back to Armin. "Armin, I need to know- where is Eren?"

"Now is not the time!" he snapped, but to my surprise Mikasa didn't flinch.

"You say he's safe; if he's safe, why isn't he here? Why isn't he fighting?"

"Mikasa, please!" Armin half-wailed. "You can flay me alive when this is over, but now is _not_ the time!"

"Why would I want to flay you?" Mikasa asked, her eyes suddenly sparking with fear and her voice rising. "Armin, where is Eren?! What's happened?! Please, Armin, you've got to tell me! Eren's alright, isn't he?!"

Armin cursed suddenly, shoving her in the chest; as he did so, however, his whole body spasmed and he collapsed like a stringless puppet. I recoiled in surprise and horror as he tried to get up... and this time, he failed. Mikasa was instantly beside him, her hands hovering frantically.

"Oh Walls, Armin, what have you done to yourself...?!"

Then Annie's skinless hand appeared over the edge of the Wall. Somehow Armin managed to bolt to his feet, his speed defying the weakness that was now laid bare to Mikasa and I. The whole of the army erupted in a chorus of wails and cries.

"Annie..." Armin murmured, and for a moment I caught a glimmer of affection in his gaze. "Bertholdt, remember what's at stake, now... don't misstep."

"Armin... you seem really chummy with these guys..." Mikasa whispered, and Armin shot her a baleful look.

"Reiner is in a little fix that he needs my help to get out of, so Bertholdt here is temporarily under my control." He glanced over to the spot where Annie was pulling herself farther up onto the Wall.

"Annie!!" I called suddenly, and Armin bristled beside me. "This way!" I didn't want her finding Reiner before I had spoken to her- he would tell her to let him die, and she would be inclined to comply... for the sake of the Mission.

"Get everyone farther down the Wall," Armin told Mikasa. "Keep them from panicking- the Female Titan won't attack them."

Mikasa hesitated, but nodded shortly and took off back toward the army. She stopped, however, crying out an objection as three soldiers broke away and approached us. One of them was limping badly.

"Levi, stop!" Commander Erwin Smith roared; Levi paid him no mind, picking up the pace despite his obviously wounded leg. There was blood soaking every inch of him, making it impossible to tell how much belonged to him and how much belonged to others. He had one eye closed, although that might have been due to the nasty cut pouring out blood just above it. The girl beside him was in similar shape, although she sported no limp and had only a spotty coating of blood.

"What the fuck is this, Arlert?!" Corporal Levi roared, reaching forward and grabbing Armin by the collar, hoisting him up off the ground. He staggered slightly; the girl, wordlessly, supported him. "I have half a mind to throw you off Wall Rose, you fucking little brat!"

"Levi!" Erwin said again, grabbing his subordinate's shoulder. I glanced back to see that Annie had gotten herself fully onto the Wall, and was watching us intently.

"My men are _dead_ because of you!!" Levi continued, apparently oblivious to all else. "Do you know how many of my men are dead because of you, you little shit?!"

Armin grasped Levi's wrist surprisingly calmly, lifting his body so that he could breathe just slightly. "Sacrifices... are necessary... Corporal Levi..." he gasped out, and Levi flung him violently to the ground. Armin Arlert's body bounced slightly, his head cracking against the stone and his eyes flying wide for an instant. Then they slipped shut, and he was still.

I choked slightly; the girl beside Levi whimpered, and Erwin's voice rose in a chastisement. But most startling of all was the reaction of the Female Titan- Annie. 

She shrieked.

I felt the Wall tremble with her footsteps as she raced toward us; Corporal Levi stiffened, a strange smile coming to his face.

"That's right, you skinless bitch..." he murmured. "Come on. I'll kill you. I'll cut out your weak spot... I'll flay you."

_Weak spot...?_ Then Levi didn't even know that Annie was a Shifter. Erwin's eyes were wild with panic.

"Levi, you're injured! I order to you to return to-!"

"You 'order me?!'" Levi snarled, rounding on him. "Don't make me laugh, Old Man! This is as much your fault as it is Arlert's!!" Erwin flinched as though struck, and Levi pushed off the girl beside him. "Come on, Petra. For the others, let's take that giant bitch down."

"Yes, Corporal." Her voice was frail but determined; there were tears cutting tracks through the blood on her cheeks, and I could only watch as they raced to intercept Annie.

"Levi!! Petra!!" Erwin roared again, but then drew back and cursed violently. He looked briefly at me, seemed to decide that I was unimportant, and then crouched beside Armin Arlert. I felt my heart thump erratically; if Armin was dead, the Mission could proceed... but Reiner would die.

"Alive..." Erwin murmured, after a moment, and I felt relief crash over me. "Thank fate... Levi... you can be so impulsive..."

"When will he regain consciousness?" I asked breathily, and Erwin shot me a strange glance. _Reiner... has less than an hour..._

"That depends entirely on how motivated he is to regain consciousness," the Commander of the Survey Corps said, and then laughed softly. "So it'll probably be a matter of minutes, knowing him."

A sudden shriek from Annie made me look up; I had thought that she would be able to deal with Levi and his companion quickly, seeing as Humanity's Strongest looked half-dead already. But I was surprised to see her reeling backwards, hands moving to her face as her eyes were both gouged out by two twirling bullets. Levi landed on her left, Petra on her right, and they sprang again. The top of the Wall was narrow, I realized with a start; Annie had very little room to maneuver. Even as I watched, one of her feet slipped off the side and she staggered, the falter allowing Levi to dart in and slice deep into her leg.

Annie was losing.

"Annie!!" I wailed, turning and sprinting toward the fight; I half expected Erwin to give chase, but he stayed with Armin Arlert. I was cut off, however, by another tall, muscular Survey Corpsman; wondered, fleetingly, how he could even see through his messy shock of dirty blonde hair. He was as bloodied and battered as the rest of the soldiers, with a ragged bite mark out of his fluttering cape.

"Levi's just lost the better part of his squad," he informed me calmly. "I won't let the likes of you bother him right now."

Another shriek from Annie set my heart pounding and my muscles singing with adrenaline. "I'll just have to go through you, then."

The man smirked; I tried to identify him, wondering if he was someone I should be worried about fighting. But there didn't seem to be a choice, regardless, and so I drew my blades.

The first exchange was brief- we had very limited use of our Gear, considering the flat top of the Wall that was our battlefield. But in the space of a heartbeat, I had realized that this shaggy soldier was not one to be taken lightly. I felt my neck begin to steam as it healed, and thanked Rose that it had been such a clean cut. Then I spun, surprised to see the man flying at me, his face hard with determination. I ducked, but he twisted and grabbed my shoulder, flinging me down flat on my back. I scrambled out of the way as he kicked for me, and rolling and bouncing back onto my feet.

Instantly the Survey Corpsman charged; I dug my feet into the Wall beneath me, feeling a desperate flood of adrenaline as Annie screamed again. I ducked beneath the man's blades, lashing out with one foot and sweeping his feet out from beneath him. He hit the ground and rolled, tucking one shoulder in and not even faltering before bouncing onto his feet and coming at me again. This time I met his blades head on, with a deafening clang of metal. I realized too late that he was far stronger than me, in terms of sheer muscle, and I was forced to roll into a backwards summersault to avoid being sliced clean in half.

Then he was upon me, before I could get my feet under me again. I lashed out desperately, vaguely aware of my blade sinking into something soft as he pinned me to the Wall. I heard him scream and falter for a moment, and used the opening to scramble out from underneath him. But then he was coming at me yet again, seemingly without regard for the fact that he now only had one eye. 

I dodged his first strike, a screech from Annie making me attempt to slip around him; it cost me, as I wasn't able to block his blade before it sank deep into my stomach. The Survey Corpsman grabbed my shoulder, his huge hand tightening and snapping the joint with such little effort that my amazement almost overrode the pain completely. One of my blades clattered to the ground as my hand went slack, useless at my side.

"I thought I told you- I won't let you interfere with Levi right now."

I could see, behind him, that Levi was carving a hateful path through Annie's very flesh. She had hardened her neck, yes, but she couldn't keep up with the speed of his attacks to harden her limbs. As her muscles were shredded, she began to falter- I saw her slip; heard her scream.

I tried to wrench myself free, but the Survey Corpsman held me tightly; I let out a choked cry as he wrenched my broken body slightly, and my other blade clattered from my hand. Levi and Petra swarmed up around the Female Titan, slicing deep into her sides and chest and shoulders as she staggered. 

And then Annie was falling.

She grabbed desperately for the Wall's edge, but Levi slashed her fingers off at the second knuckle. Then I could only watch her titan face, twisted in a strangely human expression of shock and fear, as she fell, plummeting off Wall Rose and toward the waiting, rabid hoard of Common Titans below.

I saw her mouth stretch wide in a scream; I cried out her name.

But one sound drowned out both of us.

"Annie!!"

Armin Arlert's shriek rang in my ears, so loudly that I couldn't even hear my own voice raised in unison. He surged past me, although Commander Erwin Smith caught hold of his 3D Gear harness before he could fling himself off the edge of Rose after the Female Titan, as he seemed fully prepared to do. His face was a horrible mess of terror and pain, like I knew mine was, as he watched her fall.

And then the Female Titan hit the ground. For an instant, the Commons parted, and then fell upon her in a ravenous frenzy of cannibalism. Within moments, her sheiks had faded to nothing, and there was silence except for the tearing of flesh and gnashing of teeth.

And then Armin Arlert let out a broken sob- just one, in the silence, as he drew back from the edge of the Wall, shrugging his shoulders to brush Erwin away.

"Mike, I need this one alive for a bit longer," he told the Survey Corpsman I had been fighting. His voice was calm, and when he looked up his face was a mask of unruffled confidence. "Bertholdt, there is still the matter of Reiner. I’d like to address it now."

I found myself nodding shakily; how could I do anything else? My opponent drove his blade in deeper for a moment, and I gagged.

"Erwin?"

The Commander of the Survey Corps waved his hand. "Let him go, Mike."

Mike didn't look happy about it, but he pulled his blade from my abdomen with an unnatural squelch; it was emotional fatigue and shock as much as anything that sent me crashing to the ground. As I pushed myself up with my good hand, I spotted Corporal Levi, collapsed some ways down the wall with that girl, Petra, crouched at his side. I wondered briefly if he was dead, but then dismissed the notion. _That demon... can't be killed..._

"Come on, Bertholdt." Armin's voice was surprisingly gentle. "I have one more task for you before I tell you the antidote."

I struggled to my feet, and was surprised to realize that my wounds _weren't_ healing, although they obviously weren't killing me, either. _Heh... I've reached... my limit..._

_Like Reiner... and Annie..._

_... Like... Armin..._

I followed Armin Arlert across the Wall; Mikasa called out to him, but he waved her off. Jean jogged up beside us for a moment, but Armin only gave him short instructions regarding keeping everyone as calm as he could; we had soon left him behind. I could hear Armin's ragged breathing.

And then Reiner came into sight.

He had curled up in a slightly damaged portion of the Wall, huddled like a child in the shadow of the bricks. I ran to him; could feel the heat rolling off him in waves, before I was five feet from him.

"Bertholdt." I could tell he couldn't see me; his hands sought me, and I clutched them tightly despite the way they burned me. His clouded eyes were streaming, although I couldn't tell if they were true tears or just a watering caused by the slow burning of his body.

I spun, my eyes desperately wide. "Armin, please!" I gasped out. "I'll do anything, just... quickly, please!"

I was surprised to see that Armin was keeping his distance; there was a small smile on his face, but his eyes were dark and swimming.

"I... don't need anything else from you Bertholdt."

I didn't comprehend his words. "What?! Then tell me the antidote, quickly! Please!"

There had been a suspicion in the back of my mind; I hadn't wanted to consider it, even for a moment.

"There is no antidote, Bertholdt."

I choked softly on what I knew was the truth. "But... but you tested it on Eren!" I objected frantically. "You wouldn't have risked that without an antidote!!"

"I never tested it," he said, his voice thin and strained. "This was all a gamble, Bertholdt, from the very beginning- the gamble that would win or lose the Battle of Trost. If I couldn't neutralize the Armored Titan, we stood no chance. The rest... was all improvisation."

I felt rage-flavored bile rise in my throat. "You... how could you do this?!" I shrieked at last, and felt Reiner wince. "Not only did you... killing is one thing- forgivable, in this cruel world -but to... to play with us like that?! To lead us on- to give us hope, just to rip it away?!"

Armin looked, for a moment, genuinely pained. "The battle was not yet won. I needed to have you at my disposal, should I need you. I also couldn't risk the both of you turning against me while Reiner was still well enough to fight."

I tried to scream at him, but I found that my anger was draining unexpectedly from me, sucked away by my despair. And then I could only begin to sob- dryly, unable to summon tears. Reiner's body was beginning to steam, and I hugged him despite the physical and emotional pain it caused me.

"Bertholdt... can we still go home...?" His voice was a croaking whisper, and I held him tighter to my chest. In that moment, I wanted him at my side so badly that my own insides felt like they were boiling. I didn't even care if he was the Soldier or my Warrior.

I just needed Reiner to stand with me.

"Yes..." I forced myself to murmur, pressing my lips close to his feverish ear. "You're just going to get there a bit before me."

He died there in my arms; I felt him take his last shuddering breath under his killer's watchful gaze. And even then his body only grew hotter and hotter, until I was eventually forced to recoil as it dissolved into nothing like a titan's corpse.

And then I stood to face Armin Arlert.

In that moment, I hated him. I hated him with a deep loathing that I hadn’t thought myself capable of. 

"I'll kill you someday."

He smiled slightly. "But not today."

I felt my lips curl up. "No. Not today."

"Go," he told me, and then looked away. "Annie and I... promised... that the winner of this battle would look after the loser. Letting you live will be my atonement... for not being able to keep that promise to her."

"If you let me go now, I will come back. I'll dismantle your plans and dreams until you're weeping, and then I'll kill you." I felt the need to warn him.

His smile widened. "I deserve no less."

And then, with that understanding, the understanding that I would return for his happiness and his head, I accepted Armin Arlert's mercy and ran. I left behind the world of humans that I had become so fond of, along with my friends' remains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make my day! Please leave one if you enjoyed~


	11. The Pain and the Painless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for the wait!! This was a hard chapter for me to write because I had next to no plans or ideas for it when I went into it. But I'm really quite satisfied with how it turned out. 
> 
> I received some absolutely delightful reviews on the last chapter, and I will be typing up replies to them later today while I'm writing this chapter's commentary. Until then, thank you guys so much for your lovely words of compliment, critique and encouragement! You have my eternal gratitude, and I hope you enjoy this chapter and those to come. <3

I think we were all at a bit of a loss when the Battle of Trost was finally over.

I sat on the Wall at Jean's feet; he hadn't drifted far from my side since we had returned to the main body of soldiers, and for that I was grateful. I was alive because of him, although my head was light and I couldn't feel my whole right arm.

Armin returned to us with a heavy limp and deadened eyes; I had never seen him look so drained. But he straightened and blinked away his fatigue as if by magic, and then started issuing orders in a voice that was as strong as his had ever been.

"Jean, please fetch me Erwin."

"Mikasa, come here; I'll tell you where Eren is hidden. Bring him here."

"Miss Rico, kindly gather the remainder of the Garrison."

"Mike, how's Corporal Levi? Alive? Good. Please get the Survey Corps under some semblance of control. I’ll need them ready in a moment."

"Marco, how are your wounds? I'm glad."

"Ah! Commander. The titans needn't be dealt with yet, no. We'll wait until Eren has recovered, don't you think?"

"Mikasa! Good. Bring him here, would you? Ah, he should regain consciousness within the hour; fantastic. Please don't look at me like that, Mikasa."

"Jean, you and Connie start getting the wounded down Rose to the hospital. I need the able soldiers to remain here for just a bit longer."

"Sasha! Excellent timing. Please spread this message around the troupes for me, quote, 'After Eren Jaeger is conscious, we'll be able to block up the gap in the Wall. I'll be depending upon you to protect Jaeger as he seals the hole, and then assist him in eliminating the remaining titans.' Say the message is from Commander Erwin."

"With permission to use your name, Commander? Excellent. Thank you, Sir."

"Sasha? Go on, spread that message."

"Marco, can you walk? Good. Mikasa, come here for a moment! Marco, you too."

I could walk, if the truth was to be told, but unsteadily and painfully. I made the effort, though, for Armin Arlert.

When there was some distance between us and the rest of the soldiers, Armin stopped; I let myself slump unsteadily to the ground. The blonde glanced at me briefly, and gave me a slight nod. Mikasa was hovering close to him, her face a strange mixture of mistrust, dislike and caring concern.

"How are you holding up?" she asked him, and Armin gave a soft huff.

"I'll be able to keep my body upright." Then he turned to me. "Do you trust me, Marco?"

"No," I answered honestly, "but I'll follow your orders."

He smiled- it seemed uncharacteristically honest. "I thank you for that, Marco. Bear with me for just a bit longer."

"But what good am I, with these injuries?" It was an honest question; I could hardly stand.

"A lot, actually," he replied. "But first, Mikasa- Eren will be regaining consciousness in a matter of minutes, now. I'm putting you and him in charge of sealing the hole in the Trost Wall. There are several large boulders lying around that should do the trick."

Mikasa nodded, pressed her forehead briefly against his, and then kissed the top of his head. "Don't die on me," she murmured. "I need to yell at you later."

Then she was off, trotting down the Wall and vanishing into the throng of soldiers to collect Eren. After she was gone Armin turned to me, slumping down so that he was sitting beside me.

"Marco, I'm close to my limit. I can feel my body starting to shut down on me."

I jumped; of all the things I had expected him to tell me, that was certainly not it. "Y-you can...?"

"I can," he said with a sigh. "I might not make it to the end of this battle, as I had originally planned to."

"B-But... but you don't look like you're that close to... to..." To what? Was Armin Arlert telling me he was going to _die_?

The blonde smiled, a bit patronizingly. "It's simply a case of mind over matter. But my mind, I'm afraid, is beginning to fade as well. I just saw the girl I lo... a girl I care deeply about die. I'm not made of stone."

I felt a flare of surprise. _The girl... he loves...?_ What was Armin admitting to me? Who was the girl he loved? Ymir? Krista?

 _It couldn't... be Annie, could it...?_

"So here's my task for you, Marco," he said softly. "I can't turn to Mikasa or Eren, in this case; they would overreact. I need you to stay close to me; run interference for me. I can't move very well, despite appearances, and your wounds offer a convenient excuse for that. Additionally, people are less likely to approach abrasively- in a way I can't deal with right now -if you're present."

I blinked, trying to process what Armin Arlert was asking of me. I could see, in his clear blue eyes, that he was desperate for me to agree; desperate for anyone to depend on, if just for a moment.

He was so fragile- so much more so than I ever would have imagined.

"Sure, Armin. I'll do whatever you need me to."

Relief bled thickly through the cracks in his mask, and he got to his feet; offered me his hand. "Thank you, Marco. Truly, I thank you."

I nodded shakily, taking his hand and heaving myself up. "No problem."

Armin let me set the pace as we made our way back to the main body of the army. Erwin immediately peeled away from the rest, coming up to us. Armin, with a wry grin, saluted.

"Commander. How goes it?"

"Jaeger is conscious; he says he should be able to manage a Shift in just a few minutes."

"Excellent. Is the Garrison on board?"

"They're confused, of course, but Commander Pixis says that he'll back us, at least for now."

"Good." Armin looked around briefly, then continued, "I want a patrol of at least six soldiers protecting Eren- Miss Rico and Mike are a must, along with Mikasa. I would like to include Levi and well, but he's... how is Corporal Levi?"

"He'll live," Erwin grunted. "Petra's with him now. He refuses to get medical care until the battle is completely over."

"Just like the Corporal," Armin murmured. "Very well, then. Miss Rico, Mike, Mikasa, and Jean Kirstein... you choose the other two soldiers. The operation should run smoothly, but I'd still like to have some capable soldiers on hand should something go wrong. We can't risk losing Eren- I can't, for personal reasons, and humanity can't, for strategic reasons."

"I agree," Erwin murmured, much to my surprise. I wondered what he knew that we didn't; why the Commander of the Survey Corps seemed so willing to conform to Armin Arlert's plan. "I'll dispatch them now, then."

"Thank you, Commander. You'll lead the patrol to deal with the remaining titans, I assume?"

"I was planning on it, yes."

"Good. I'll take part in it as well."

Erwin's eyebrows rose. "Are you sure? You don't strike me as the type to put yourself on the front lines for the sake of a mere cleanup operation."

I felt Armin stiffen; saw his eyes flash. "If the Commander of the Survey Corps can lead a 'mere cleanup operation,' I can certainly serve on the front lines of it."

Erwin paused, for a moment, seeming to consider the blonde. Then he shrugged, saluted briefly, and strode away. I followed Armin as he walked, even slower than I might have set the pace, over to where Connie and Sasha were sitting. Before we reached them, I leaned over slightly; touched his shoulder.

"What are you doing? I thought you were close to... to your limit."

He looked briefly over at me; his expression, for once, was blank, devoid of anything except exhaustion. "I'll tell you, Marco, because you've been so accepting of this weakness of mine. Firstly, I don't wish to send my friends into battle without being beside them. Secondly," his eyes flashed suddenly, something strange glowing in their depths- something between grief and hope, "I have to verify something."

Sasha and Connie looked up at our approach; they greeted me warmly, and Armin more warily. We sat beside them; Sasha leaned over, touching Armin's injured shoulder gently.

"You should get that looked at."

Armin smiled, a bit sadly. "I'll worry about medical care after this battle is over. I'm a part of the patrol that will eliminate the remaining titans, once Eren has sealed the hole in Wall Rose, as are you two."

Sasha nodded, although Connie looked less than convinced. Armin tucked his legs up to his chest, letting his head drop onto his knees and looking up at me with limpid eyes.

"Marco, I need to rest. Please wake me if anything of concern happens."

I jumped, startled by how much he seemed to trust me. Sasha and Connie, as well, were staring at me in surprise, even as Armin's eyes slipped shut and his breath evened out. I shifted uneasily as I realized that he was really and truly asleep; vulnerable.

"There they go!" Connie's voice was a whisper; it wouldn't have felt right to awaken Armin Arlert. I stretched up my neck to see Eren leap from the Wall, a bolt of lightning crashing down around him as he transformed into a fearsome 15 meter titan. There were several smaller forms following him- I could see Mikasa's red scarf, and had spent enough time with Jean to recognize the way he moved in the air.

"Do you think Jaeger can really seal the hole in the Wall?" Connie asked shakily, and I felt myself nod.

"Yeah. If Armin says he can, I'm inclined to think he can." I wasn't sure when I had started trusting the Shiganshinan boy so much, but perhaps it had something to do with how many times he had saved Jean and I, even up to that point. And now they were still fighting for humanity, the three kids from Shiganshina. They were incredibly self-serving, I still thought, but for the moment humanity's survival seemed to be to their advantage.

 _And..._ our _survival...?_ I glanced over at Armin's sleeping face, so much more relaxed than when he was awake. He had risked his life to protect Jean and I against Bertholdt and Reiner, our own classmates. _Why would someone focused so totally on himself... and his two friends... risk his own life to save_ us _...?_

I stood, straining to see what was going on; it was hard to keep Eren in sight, let alone my friend who was accompanying him. I glanced up when Commander Erwin approached, and saluted as best I could with my left hand. I was surprised when he addressed me directly.

"What's your name, Recruit?"

"M-Marco Bodt, Sir!" I answered, and was confused when he held out a pair of binoculars.

"I brought these over for Arlert, but you're serving as his eyes for now, correct?"

"I-I... I suppose so, Sir." Was that what he had meant- _"Wake me if anything of concern happens?"_ Did that mean, _"Be my eyes while I rest?"_

"I thought so." The Commander of the Survey Corps pressed the device into my hands. "In that case, keep a close eye on the battle, Bodt." And then he was walking away, Connie and Sasha both staring in wonder after him. I was more focused on the binoculars I had been handed, and after a moment raised them to my face with my trembling left hand.

I immediately honed in on Jean; he seemed to be moving well, keeping pace with Eren Jaeger. The Rogue Titan was doing a fairly good job of dispatching any Commons that reared up in their path, although the humans were helping. I watched as Armin Arlert's plan unfolded seamlessly, with Eren Jaeger hefting up an immense boulder and simply strolling over to the breach as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Then he had jammed the stone into the gap with a tremendous roar, blocking the flow of titans. Rico sent up the yellow smoke signal- Mission Completed.

"I have half a mind to tell you not to wake him."

I looked up to see that Erwin had materialized at my side, his eyes locked on Armin Arlert's sleeping form.

"Sir...?"

The Commander sighed. "Humanity can't afford to lose him, yet... I don't understand why he's risking so much for a simple clean-up operation." Then, with a shake of his head, he turned and stalked away, leaving me to nudge Armin awake. I was reluctant too, wondering if Armin would even be able to manage his Gear in the state he was in. But he had told me to wake him, and so I moved to do just that.

But he didn't respond.

I nudged him harder, but there was still no reaction. Connie and Sasha were watching me with huge eyes, and I could feel panic starting to tighten in my chest.

"Armin? Armin?" I shook him, a little less gently than I would have liked. "Armin?!"

Erwin had stiffened and turned back around; was watching us with piercing eyes. But he was of less concern to me than he should have been; I was focused, completely and totally, on Armin Arlert.

"Armin!!"

Then Erwin was beside us. "Bodt, you should have been with the injured from the beginning," he said. "You two- get your classmate and Arlert to the hospital." When Sasha and Connie only stared uncomprehendingly up at him, he barked, "Go!!" which made them jump to their feet. Sasha lent me her shoulder while Connie picked up Armin, limp and unresponsive. I couldn't take my eyes from him.

_"I can feel my body starting to shut down on me."_

_Was he really telling me... that he was dying...?_ The idea of Armin Arlert dying was... impossible. He was invincible... wasn't he?

 _No... he'd... like us to think that..._ he’d _like to think that..._

_... but he's just as human, flesh and blood, as any of us._

... ... ...

When the medics told me that amputation was the only thing for it, I couldn't even cry. They also told me I was in shock, but I didn't understand what that meant. Wasn't shock supposed to addle your brain? I was thinking more clearly than I had been the whole battle. The only thing that seemed to be hampered were my emotions, because even as Jean began to scream and sob about the unfairness of it all, I still couldn't summon so much as a scrap of emotion regarding the loss of my right arm.

Armin Arlert was in the bed beside me. Eren and Mikasa wouldn't let anyone- including the medics -close to him, save for a select few of the 104th. Anyone else who tried to approached risked getting their entrails torn out by Eren or their throat slit by Mikasa. Sasha and Connie ended up serving as intermediate medics, speaking to the _real_ medics at a distance and then administering various tests themselves.

I refused to be taken away for surgery until his fate was determined.

It was eventually declared, by the exasperated medics in the doorway, that he was in a completely comatose state. Considering the shape he was in, they said, it would be a miracle if he ever came out of it. As it was, they showed Sasha and Connie how to treat his wounds, then told Mikasa and Eren that he would die regardless, within a few days, without fluids. Eren surprised us all by adopting an amicable, almost educational tone, informing the doctors that there was a simple way around that problem. He proceeded to construct, utilizing odds and ends he dug up from around the hospital, what he called a “drip of fluid,” apparently a prototypical invention of his late father’s used to provide water and nutrients to those too ill to ingest it themselves. The medics desperately wanted him to explain how he had done it. 

I asked if they could give Armin some of whatever they had given me. My pain was gone, replaced by a warm sense of well-being that radiated out from my spine. Remembering the exhausted agony I had seen in Armin Arlert's eyes, I wanted the same feeling for him. He needed it.

Jean assured me that Armin wasn't in pain; I knew he was lying, but he was still so distressed over my arm that I didn't contradict him. And then I told the medics that I was ready, and Jean began to cry again. I reached out and touched his face with my good hand as he bent over my bed, and then the medics had whisked me away. I let my eyes close, sinking willingly into a blissful, drug-induced unconsciousness.

... ... ...

The pain was back when I woke up that night. And that was when the reality of the situation sunk in.

I looked down numbly at the stump that was all that remained of my right arm, wrapped tightly with soiled bandages. Then I looked down at Jean, where he had fallen asleep with his head resting on arms crossed atop the edge of my bed. I wanted to reach over and run my fingers through his hair, but my left hand- my _only_ hand -was on the wrong side.

I looked over, past Jean, and took in the bed beside mine. Armin Arlert's golden hair was spread like a halo around his head, but that was all that was visible of him in the dark. Mikasa had wriggled under the blankets beside him on my side of his bed, her whole body pressed against his; she had wrapped her scarf around both of their necks. I could see a lump beneath the covers on the other side of him, as well, presumably where Eren had curled up beside him. As I watched, Mikasa's eyes flashed open, catching the dim light.

 _She's keeping watch,_ I realized, and smiled at her. Seeming satisfied, she let her eyes close again.

Jean stirred, and I closed my own eyes as well. I didn't want to talk to him yet; I might break down, when I knew that I needed to be strong for him. But if I was made to address my arm now... and what came after this... I knew that I would begin to sob and scream. It simply wasn't fair- why was I stranded in this bed, with a dull throbbing in my shoulder and the phantom feel of my right hand to haunt me? Why was Armin Arlert lying beside me, probably never to wake again? I felt my throat tighten and tears sting my eyes, but I forced the emotion down.

And then, slowly and unpleasantly, I slipped into sleep, wishing for some small dose of whatever drug they had given me earlier to take away the pain.

... ... ...

When I woke again, it was morning.

"Hey! 'Morning, man!"

Jean's cheer was clearly forced, but I chose to overlook that. "Oh! Good morning, Jean!"

"I brought you some breakfast," he said, coming into my field of view with a tray in hand. My stomach flopped uneasily at the thought of eating anything, but I put on a brave face.

"Thanks!"

Jean's smile became a bit more natural, and he set the tray down on my lap. The food looked better than the average set of rations, and I knew I should be hungry. But all I could feel was roiling nausea deep in my gut, and my tongue tasted like bile.

"Good morning, Marco! How are you feeling?"

I was grateful for Eren's greeting, allowing me to stall for another moment. "I'm feeling well!" I said, although privately trying to plan how I was going to manage a fork with my left hand. "I'm still a little woozy from the meds, but I'm feeling well! How's Armin?"

"Fine." Mikasa's voice was defensive. "He just needs some time."

I felt her words like a punch to the gut. "Oh? That's really good to hear."

"Yep, he's a tough one," Eren said cheerfully, and Jean's eyes narrowed.

"I don't care how tough he is, man," my friend said, and I winced. "The medics said he'd be lucky to live, remember."

"His heart stopped beating four times back in Shiganshina," Mikasa said calmly, her tone chilling me to the bone. "He's gone over a month without food. He’s spent a week alone in the company of the Female Titan. He'll live through this."

I felt myself stiffen. _A week... in the company... of Annie...?_

_"I just watched the girl I love die."_

_And yet... he was fighting her...?_

Jean shuddered visibly. "He's not human, then."

"He's better!" Eren quipped defensively, lifting his chin.

"He's stronger than most," Mikasa murmured. "The strongest. He won't die until he sees his plans and dreams realized."

I felt my eyebrows arch. Armin had never struck me as one to dream- plan, yes, and plot, but not dream. The more I thought about it, though, the more it seemed to fit.

Jean snorted. "Whatever..."

"Jean," I said, a bit scoldingly. "If it wasn't for Armin, neither of us would be alive. You know that."

"Yeah, I know that..." Jean muttered. Then looked at me with mournful eyes that said, _'I know that. ... But I don't want to get too emotional about it.'_ I felt my heart shudder, and reminded myself that Jean wasn't really such a jerk- he just acted that way to protect himself.

In an attempt to distract him, I forced myself to pay attention to the food resting on my lap. "Th-This looks really good," I said, and he brightened slightly. It took me a moment, with my left hand, but I managed to scoop up some of the omelet and get it into my mouth. It tasted like ash; I wondered briefly if it was more because of my mood or because of the drugs. But Jean was watching me.

"Mmm! Delicious!" I murmured, although I gagged slightly when I tried to swallow. "Say, do you supposed they'd have some coffee lying around? It might help chase off the wooziness from the drugs."

"I'll go find some!" Jean said immediately, springing up and looking happy to have something to do. As soon as he was gone, I held out the tray toward the bed next to me.

"One of you, please eat this," I begged. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Eren?" Mikasa asked, and the boy hopped off Armin's bed.

"Thanks, Marco! I've been starving all morning!"

"Tell Jean I ate it though, won't you?" I asked, and Mikasa nodded.

"Of course. He really means the best, you know," she said.

"I know, I know..." I replied. "I can't bear to say no to him. He feels bad enough already."

"He didn't have to say that about Armin, though," Eren growled, through a mouthful of omelet. I winced.

"Yeah, I have to apologize on his behalf, for that." I really, really did. "We're both so grateful to Armin... he saved both our lives. Jean is just... trying to protect himself."

"I know," Mikasa said gently. "Armin trusts you both, and that means that we do, as well."

I looked up at footsteps in the hallway, motioning frantically at Eren. He crammed the rest of the food into his mouth and then dropped the plate back on my lap, leaping like a cat over Armin's bed to land, out of sight, on the the other side. A few moments later Jean reentered the room, a tray of coffee cups in his hands.

"They just made some fresh stuff!" he announced happily, and I held up the empty plate for him to take back.

"That was delicious," I said, with a smile that was half fake. "Thanks, Jean."

His expression softened, and I winced slightly at the stab in my heart. _I have to stay strong... for him... I can't let this bother me…_

I accepted the coffee he handed me; it was slightly easier on my stomach, and it went well with the already bitter taste in the back of my throat. Eren popped back up over the edge of Armin's bed, and Jean offered he and Mikasa a cup, as well.

"I'm surprised the scent of coffee isn't waking him," Eren murmured, nudging Armin's temple with his forehead. "He loves coffee."

I saw Jean's expression twist, mirroring my own heart. But it was Mikasa who pushed Eren gently away.

"Let him sleep, Eren. Let him sleep for as long as he needs to. He'll wake up in his own good time."

"Hey! You guys are up!"

I glanced over at Connie's cheerful shout; the sight of he and Sasha actually lifted my spirits instantly. They were bright-eyed and smiling despite everything. Sasha had a bouquet of flowers.

"To brighten the room!" she explained, pulling out the table that sat between my bed and Armin's, placing the vase there. I took a moment to notice Mikasa's confused expression.

"How are you feeling, man?" Connie asked, although I noticed that his eyes were flitting everywhere except for my bandaged stump of an arm.

"I miss the pain meds," I said honestly, and both Sasha and Connie laughed as though it was the funniest joke. "But I'm doing okay, really. I'm grateful to be alive."

"And Armin?" Sasha asked, turning to Mikasa. The girl looked rather dumbfounded, her eyes blank and her mouth slightly open.

"He just needs a little time," Eren said cheerfully, seeming far more at ease than Mikasa. "He'll wake up when he's ready."

"That's good to hear," Connie huffed. "He's put the lot of us through way too much to back out now."

The two of them stayed for several hours, chatting cheerfully with Jean and Eren and I, then acting once again as intermediaries for the medics to tend to Armin. But by midday they excused themselves, saying something about the cleanup operation and already having been granted a leave to come visit us. Jean, seeming to remember belatedly that he WAS a soldier, begged my forgiveness and followed them to report for duty. I waved off his apologies, secretly grateful for a bit of peace.

However, as soon as he closed the door behind him, it became clear that I _wouldn’t_ be getting any.

"Why do they act like that?!"

Mikasa's voice was high-pitched and frantic; it nearly made me jump out of my skin, and Eren hit the wall as he jerked back in surprise. The girl rounded on me, as if I might offer some sort of explanation.

"You- you're their friend!" It sounded almost like an accusation. "It would make sense for them to come visit you! But... but why would they ask about Armin?! Why would they... why would they put the flowers between us, like they were meant for you _and_ him? Why would they care?! We aren't their friends! We aren't even their classmates!!"

"Mikasa-" Eren began, but the girl rounded on him.

"No, Eren, no!" she snapped. "You think we're a part of the 104th- we are _not_! You'd just as soon _eat_ them as share a barrack with them!"

Eren winced as though struck, shrinking down slightly. "Mikasa..."

"This is all _Armin’s_ fault!" the girl hissed, and she kicked the end of his bed suddenly. "I hope he never wakes up!!"

"Mikasa!" Now Eren was wailing it, though he seemed incapable of saying anything but her name. "Mikasa!"

"If he had just been happy to stay in Shiganshina- we were a family there!" There were tears in her eyes; I could see them. I felt as if I shouldn't be witness to her breakdown, but at the same time I felt it was half directed at me and what I represented- the 104th Training Division as a whole. "Damn... damn...!! Life wasn't complicated there... we looked after one another, and that was that. We were a _family_ , and that's all I've ever wanted...! Why did he have to want _more_? Why couldn't he have just been satisfied with _us_?!"

"Mikasa, he brought us here for all our sakes!" Eren objected, although his posture was still that of a kicked dog. "You couldn't have been happy just trapped in Shiganshina forever?"

"But we were _together_!" Mikasa screamed at him. "We were a family- we could depend on one another! I don't want to mistrust him, but I do! It's because we're _here_ that I don't trust him anymore! It's _his_ fault that you got hurt, a-and it's his own _stupid_ fault that he's in a damn comma! None of this would have _happened_ if we had just _stayed in Shiganshina_!!"

"Mikasa!!" Eren tried again, but the girl was sprinting from the room, her scarf trailing out behind her. He didn't follow her, but instead stared after her, his eyes wide. "Mikasa..."

I wasn't exactly sure what I should say. I thought that I should say _something_ , especially when Eren's legs buckled and he slumped to the ground.

"She's only worried about you," I offered finally, a bit lamely. "She only lashed out because she's worried and scared."

"I know..." Eren moaned, burying his face in his hands. "But does she think I don't already know all that?"

I cocked my head, wondering if he would clarify; I wasn't disappointed.

"I would have been fine if we had never come here," he admitted heavily. "We could have explored the world and then returned home to Shiganshina without ever setting foot in these horrible, human-infested Walls. But Armin said that this was the best path, and so we both trusted him. I did want to be a soldier, you know, but that was years and years ago." Then he looked up, tears streaking his face.

"Being with you guys rekindled that old childhood dream. But I can't forgive humanity- I never will. And Mikasa, she'll never fit in... so how could you ever consider us comrades?" He smiled up at me sadly. "I _would_ just as soon eat you as fight beside you. It's just how I am- an angry, insane little kid grasping at a dead dream. And we're both going through all this because Armin brought us here. It's hard not to hate him some days."

I stared at him blankly, trying to process what he had just said. His attitude, at the very least, seemed quite different from Armin; had I been speaking to Armin Arlert, my next worlds would have come a lot easier. As it was, I choked on them, but managed to get them out anyway... if only for Armin Arlert's sake.

"We _do_ think of you and Mikasa as comrades. Anyone who lives through a battle like that together can't do anything _but_ think of one another as comrades."

Eren's eyes widened sharply, his tears flowing suddenly faster and a sob hiccuping in his throat. I tried to remember fighting beside him, and recapture those feelings of compradore- he had been a titan at the time, but still Eren Jaeger, I reminded myself. _He... defended us... from the Female Titan. Annie, who we thought was our teammate, was trying to kill us. And Eren, from Shiganshina, defended us._ I remembered that he had been bitten in half- voluntarily, to save Armin. A sudden wave of jealousy crashed, unbidden, into my heart. _He knew that he would recover... he can regrow whole limbs._ My right shoulder twitched. _Any sacrifices he makes..._ But then I shook my head, trying not to let my thoughts drift in that direction.

"Do you really mean that?" Eren was watching me with careful, tearful eyes. "Or are you just afraid of me?"

I forced myself to smile; hoped that he couldn't smell my fear like an animal. "I'm not afraid of you, Eren."

The boy relaxed visibly. "Thanks, Marco." He hopped up onto Armin's bed; curled up beside his friend, although his eyes were still on me. "And I... I really wouldn't eat you guys." He yawned, and his voice was slurred as he added, "I only eat... the bad kind of humans..."

And then his eyes were closed. Like a child, it seemed, he had managed to exhaust himself with his outburst. I watched him for a moment, but decided that _thinking_ about him would be far, far too much effort.

 _I just told a_ titan _that I think of him as a comrade…_

The thought made me grimace, but I lay down on my left side and shut my eyes, hoping that sleep would come as easily for me as it had for Eren. As it was, though, I lay awake for what felt like hours, the fingers of my phantom right hand twitching wildly.

... ... ...

The sound of the door opening woke me. I groaned softly, letting my eyes open just a crack.

"Be careful of the step here..."

It was dark. I could just make out two shapes, one leaning on the other. The voice was Jean's, certainly, and that vibrant red...

 _Mikasa...?_

There was a sudden clatter of footsteps and both figures lurched; the girl went down, and Jean went after her with a curse. Then there was a clatter from my other side, and I sat up just in time for Eren, in the process of leaping _over_ my bed, to collide with me head-on.

"Ouch!!"

"Oof!!"

His momentum carried us both to the ground, and I let out a little sheik of pain. Eren kicked out in an attempt to get up, but he only managed to jam his knee up into my stomach.

"Ouch...!!" I wheezed. "Eren, Eren please stop...! Be genta-aaah!!" My words died as he elbowed me- inadvertently, I was fairly sure -in the throat.

"Get away from Mikasa!!" Eren roared, finally managing to push away from me and lunge at Jean. My friend squawked with alarm, and then cursed violently.

"For the love of _fuck_ , Jaeger! Did you just bite me?! If you have a problem, punch me in the face like a normal person!"

Eren was scrambling backwards, dragging Mikasa with him; the girl was struggling slightly, belatedly, against him, but her protests were still vague. He wasn't, obviously, paying attention to where he was going, because he ran straight into me, growling in surprise and rounding on me.

"Calm down!" I squeaked, genuinely terrified when he drew back his lip and snarled at me. "I'm sure there's a very rational explanation for this!"

"Eren! Eren, let go of me, please," Mikasa huffed, and pushed herself halfway upright when the Titan Shifter obeyed. "Don't overreact like that! I can take care of myself, remember!"

"Are you okay, Marco?!" Jean was instantly at my side, and I let him help me back up onto my bed; the nurses, by that time, were rushing in to see what all the commotion was about, and I let one examine me briefly. Another tried to approach Mikasa, who was still looking dazed and swaying a bit unsteadily, only to backpedal wildly when Eren growled at her like an animal.

"What happened?" I asked Jean, and he shrugged.

"We were talking," he muttered, cursing softly as he rubbed a nasty looking bite mark on his shoulder. "Aah, damn it!"

"'Talking?'" I echoed, confused.

"Yes, talking." Mikasa brushed Eren angrily away and crawled into Armin's bed, turning her back to all of us. "I'm tired, that's all. Jean was good enough to walk back with me."

Eren glared over at my friend, obviously unconvinced. "Stay away from my sister, Horseface," he growled furiously, baring his teeth; Jean grimaced.

"Look, all I did was talk to her when you were too chicken shit to even chase after her to see what was wrong," he said, and Eren's eyes lit with rage.

"How dare you?!" he demanded, and for a moment I thought he would fling himself at my friend again. As it was, his whole body was trembling with restraint.

Jean seemed to realize that certain buttons were better left unpushed, and held up his hands. "I didn't do anything skeezy, man, I promise," he said, and then shook his head. "Okay? Really, she looked like she needed someone to talk to, so I talked to her. Okay?"

Eren looked down at his sister, unmoving on Armin's bed, and then back up at Jean. He seemed to calm slightly, although his lips stayed drawn back.

"Just don't do it again," he snarled, taking one threatening step forward. "Next time I hear about you... _talking_ to Mikasa, I'll rip your throat out so that you'll never _talk_ to anyone again!"

Jean made an exasperated sound in the back of his throat, but threw up his hands. "Fine! I won't talk to you precious sister ever again! But if I promise you that," he pointed at Eren suddenly, "you better as hell be there for her the next time she needs you, or you'll have me to answer to!"

Eren flinched, surprisingly, and then slunk around to the bottom of Armin's bed. "Fine," he muttered. "I can live with that."

He curled up, then, and soon all three of them appeared to be asleep, although I knew they probably weren’t. Only then did Jean let out a pent up breath and flop down into the chair beside my bed, burying his face in his hands.

"I shouldn't get involved, Marco..." he moaned. "I should know better than to get involved with these crazies..."

I felt myself smile, and I reached over to put my hand on his head. "You and I both know that you could never resist a pretty face, Jean."

... ... ...

Eren became my constant companion, as Mikasa and Jean left each day to help with the cleanup of Trost. They still spent half the day and all night in the tiny hospital room with us, and Sasha and Connie came for frequent visits, and Erwin came in occasionally to check on Armin, but I spent most of my time asleep or chatting about inconsequential things with Eren Jaeger. He didn’t attack me once. Nearly a week passed like that. I was beginning to get the hang of using my left hand; I still missed the pain medication, though.

And then, one day, I learned that I was to be released.

I stared down at myself for a long, long time. _What now...?_ was the only question running through my mind, over and over again. I glanced at what was left of my right shoulder. _What now...?_ The military was no longer an option, so what did that leave me with? I would be separated from Jean, as well as anyone else who meant anything to me. I had no family to return to; I had no one who would even offer me a roof. My parents had volunteered as a part of the operation to reclaim Wall Maria, hopeless though it was. So was I to become a refuge all over again, just like after the Fall...? What sort of future could I possibly have, now? I might be alive, but what sort of meaning could my life have?

"I'm sure my mom would put you up at our house, if you wanted." Jean knew. He knew that I had no home of my own, and I was grateful that he would open his own to me. But was that really all that was left to me- to be a burden to my best friend's mother?

"Thanks, Jean." I had nowhere else to go. I had to force myself to smile, for his sake- perhaps he wouldn't notice the way I was trembling.

"But that's not what you want, Marco."

I looked over sharply, as did Jean, to see Armin pushing himself halfway upright in his bed. He looked even thinner and frailer than I remembered, and Eren yelped softly as he helped to push his friend upright. When Armin had settled himself in a sitting position, he pointed calmly at me.

"You don't want to sit out this battle, do you, Marco?"

"Do you have any idea what kind of condition he's in?!" Jean demanded, taking a step toward. "Not everyone's as invincible as you are, you know!"

Armin's eyes softened, and he moved slightly to accommodate the way Eren was snuggling against him. "I am not invincible- no one is. But I stand by my original statement. Am I wrong, Marco?"

"No," I said softly, and the blonde smiled. It was a gentler expression that most I had seen on his face, and it somehow warmed me.

"I still have a very vital role for you, if you choose to accept it."

"Anything," I answered instantly, ignoring Jean's squawk of objection. I wanted to be useful, and Armin had long since convinced me that his plans would be mankind's demise or salvation. If I could still be a part of them, then I would gladly die to fulfill the role he granted me; there was nothing else left for me.

"Thank you, Marco. You as well, Jean, if you're willing." His eyes were limpid, seeming sunk deep into his head.

My friend gave a disconcerted growl, but eventually nodded. "I'm already in too deep with you psychos to back out now..." he muttered, and then looked at me, his expression one of pained worry.

With a grunt of effort, Armin rose; detached the fluid drip from his wrist and gave himself a slight shake. Eren moved automatically to lend his shoulder.

"I'm not so sure you should be up yet," I said, concerned, but he only smiled at me.

"I've rested for long enough. Would you two come with me? Mikasa, please go find Erwin and set up an appointment with him for me."

Mikasa nodded readily, looking relieved to have something to do, then trotted off down the hallway. I got up and followed Armin willingly, with Jean at my side; it did feel good, I thought, to be up and moving and doing something useful. As we walked, Armin's steps grew stronger and more regular until he was fairly striding down the corridor- without Eren's assistance. He motioned for Jean and I to walk beside him.

"You two will join the Military Police, as planned," he said, and I stiffened. When I began to ask the logical question, however, he held up a hand. "No, no, don't worry about the details. You're still technically qualified to join the MP. There's an obscure protocol that allows for this type of thing called the 'Veterans' Admission.' It hasn't been used in a while- its been a while, you see, since new recruits have been involved in such a battle -but it is still valid. You'll be admitted as a full member of the MP, and then allowed to enter immediate retirement within Wall Sina.” 

“And young Marco Bodt has agreed to this?” 

I jumped as Erwin stepped out of the shadows and fell into step beside Armin; the small blonde glanced up at him. 

“Of course, Commander. I do not bully people into taking part in my plans.” 

Erwin gimmacd. "You and I both know that’s a lie, Arlert.” He glanced at me. “But very well. Would you like a briefing on how the cleanup of Trost went?"

"I would simply adore one, Commander."

"Nearly 60% fatality in the Survey Corps," Erwin said, and I flinched, "and upwards of 80% in the Garrison. There were no casualties in the Military Polite."

"Of course," Armin snorted, then added, "My condolences regarding your subordinates."

Erwin didn't respond, but instead continued. "We did find one extremely interesting item while we were inspecting the base of Wall Rose, however. I'd like your opinion on it, if you have the time."

Armin's eyes were _blazing_. "I always have the time for things you find interesting, Commander."

"Hm." Erwin nodded shortly, then changed direction suddenly and led us out of the hospital. Jean and I fell in side by side as we walked briskly toward the Survey Corps headquarters.

"Are you really okay with this?" my friend asked worriedly, in a hushed tone. "No one would think any less of you if you just took it easy from now on. My mom would be good to you, I promise."

I shook my head firmly, but smiled at him. "I want to make this world a better place, Jean. I have to see this thing through to the very end."

My friend looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway. I noticed that he was walking a bit closer to me when we entered the Survey Corps headquarters, and appreciated the subtle, awkward show of support.

Armin, walking ahead of us with Erwin and Eren, appeared to know what was waiting for him as we descended what seemed like miles of stairs. He kept skipping a few steps ahead, then waiting impatiently for Erwin to catch up. I wondered briefly if he could possibly be the same boy who had been lying comatose beside me earlier that day, or even the poor, broken child I had glimpsed during the Battle of Trost.

"The second door on the left," Erwin murmured, tossing him a key. Armin's eyes glimmered when he caught it, and he raced the rest of the way down the hall with Eren playfully keeping pace. Then he reached the door, skittering to a halt and unlocking it with a steady hand; he held Eren gently back with his other.

A rush of cold air hit Jean and I as we caught up; Armin's hair was blown back by it, and a torrent of the brittle gold strands came free. The small stone room was lit by two torches. Although they did little to dispel the chill, they illuminated the strange object set against the far wall, and I felt my stomach flip with nausea. The crystalline structure was glimmering so brightly and brokenly that I couldn't be certain, at first, but Armin's soft gasp confirmed it.

"Annie...! Annie Leonheart...!"

_"The woman I love..."_

His eyes were _shining_.

"I had suspected..." he murmured, and then closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, the affection and joy and relief were all gone, replaced by a muted, analytical interest. "Fascinating." His tone was matter-of-fact. "To think that she didn't die... well, that is a bit of a bother. What sorts of tests have you run on the crystal?"

"Next to none," Erwin admitted. "It's too hard to us to even scrape off a sample."

Armin's brow furrowed slightly; Eren was straining to see into the room around him. With a hand that didn't quite escape trembling, Armin closed the door once again.

"Well... a bit of a bother, but a curiosity, certainly." He held up the key; looked at Erwin. "May I keep it?"

"I don't think you'll be offended when I say I don't trust you _that_ much," the commander of the Survey Corps said, holding out his hand. Armin chuckled, placing the key reluctantly in his palm.

"Very well. Thank you for showing me. It was interesting, although not very useful at the moment."

There wasn't so much as a trace of emotion in his expression or his tone.

But I had spent enough time with him to know that it was there, just below the surface. And I felt strangely honored that I knew Armin Arlert that well. I could tell that Eren also seemed to have noticed, and wondered if he had purposefully sent Mikasa off, remembering the tension between them. I suspected that Erwin knew exactly what this knowledge meant to Armin Arlert; it had been no mistake that he had brought him here the moment he was back on his feet.

"Well then, Jean; Marco," he said briskly, turning from Erwin and addressing us again. "I believe we have some paperwork to fill out, yes?"

He didn't wait for our response- typical Armin -simply turning and trotting back up the steps with Eren and Erwin on his heals. And I felt myself smile, resigned and contented to see his plans through to the very end. Jean, beside me, grimaced slightly, and then we were following Armin, as I was sure we would continue to until he led us to the war's end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed, and I look forward to seeing you all in the next chapter!


	12. The Weight of Revolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IN MY DEFENSE Erwin is like, the hardest character for me to write. 
> 
> ... There's no excuse for how late this is. 
> 
> However, I am fairly happy with how it turned out. Bare with the somewhat annoying wordiness of this chapter, please? It'll all be important later on, I promise. 
> 
> Thank yous and cookies go out to every single one of my readers! Your support means the world to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and those yet to come!

_“Allow me to thank you, Commander Smith, for allowing this to proceed. There are a million reasons why you should never allow the three of us to step foot inside the Walls.”_

_“Give me just one good reason why I should allow you to execute your plans; why I should trust my own instincts over Levi’s.”_

_“Because, Commander, if you allow my plans to take their course… I can help you lead humanity to absolute victory against the titans.”_

He had told me that not a mile outside of the Shiganshinan Walls, and thus assured a tenuous allegiance with myself and the Survey Corps as a whole. He could have been bluffing, but I knew he wasn’t; I bluffed often enough myself to recognize the pain of truth in someone’s eyes. 

I knew, however, that there was a lot more to the situation than met the eye. The truth had been festering in the back of my mind for some time, although I had no proof until after the Battle of Trost. Levi had some idea of it, I suspected, but chose to ignore the situation as a whole; he never tried to figure out my plans, and I appreciated his unconditional trust. 

I had known that this day would come, from the moment I allowed him inside the Walls. 

“Armin… Arlert.” 

The blonde boy smiled placidly. “Commander Erwin. What can I do for you?” 

I sighed. “Cut the shit, Arlert. That’s not the matter that needs to be addressed.” 

The boy blinked innocent blue eyes, his smile rather unsettling considering the circumstances. Groaning softly, I stood behind my desk, still quite a bit taller than the boy… if not significantly cleverer. 

“The matter that needs to be addressed, Arlert, is what _I_ can do for _you_. You know it and I fucking know it. Now take a seat and let’s discuss this rationally.” 

Armin's smile widened slightly. “Corporal Levi’s vocabulary is rubbing off on you, Commander,” he commented, and then sat in the chair I provided to my guests. He crossed his legs; folded his hands on his lap. “But I appreciate your candor.” 

“Four the 104th Training Division are dead at your hands,” I couldn’t stop myself from growling. “I suspect the Wagner boy’s disappearance is your doing, as well. The whole Battle of Trost was your fault, and the blood of everyone who died is on _your_ damn hands. I'm breaking every regulation there is simply by letting you run free.” 

“Wagner wasn’t me.” Armin seemed a bit unsettled by the boy’s name; grimaced. “Eren acted without my consent, and was scolded accordingly. Haven’t you ever had Levi get off the leash every once in a while?” 

That made me smile reluctantly. “Yes, although it’s more trouble whenever Hanji manages to get off the leash,” I said, and he laughed. 

“I suppose it would be.”

Slowly I sat down; crossed my arms as I sighed. “So, Arlert… was this all within your calculations?” 

“Well within predictions,” he confirmed. “The only unexpected thing was Annie’s capture; I had planned for her death.” 

“You seemed quite distressed when you thought she _had_ died,” I pointed out. “You nearly leaped off Wall Rose after her.” 

The blonde boy’s expression soured, and I could tell that I had hit a nerve. “A brief moment of weakness,” he muttered, and my eyebrows rose a fraction. “A _mistake_ that I must thank you for saving me from.” 

“You don’t mean to tell me that Armin Arlert makes mistakes, do you?” I wanted to see how stable he was; I expected him to come further undone, perhaps to snap. 

To my surprise, the child blinked away his disconcert, eyes clear as he refocused on me. “Despite it all, Commander, I am still human- I am entitled to a mistake every decade or so, as are you.” 

I smirked. “I suppose that’s reasonable. Now, if we may get to the purpose of this little meeting?” 

“Ah yes… you and I are busy men, hm?” Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on the edge of my desk; meshed his fingers. “Remind me of the question again?” 

I felt a strange, distasteful respect for the boy bubbling up inside me; he didn’t want me forgetting who held the power here, or who had sought who out. “What can I do for you, Armin Arlert?” 

“So glad you asked, Commander,” he said, with a bright smile. “For starters, you can agree that what passes between us stays between us. I'm afraid this conversation won’t be going anywhere if I can’t extract that one promise.” 

“Very well- what passes between us stays right here, at this desk.” A vow of silence was little price to pay for hearing Armin Arlert’s plans. Even if I was to die tomorrow, I would die with the satisfaction of knowing that I had gotten deeper into his mind than anyone else alive. Additionally, vows of silence were not impossible to work around, as I was sure the blonde boy sitting before me knew. 

“Excellent,” he said, blinking appreciatively. “And with that, we can begin our actual business: the overthrowing of this government of ours.” 

I felt myself begin to smile; my suspicions had been correct. “My favorite topic of discussion, other than the killing of titans.” 

We both laughed- I wondered if he had grown as embittered as I had, yet. He would, if he kept down the path he was on; it was as if I was looking at a younger, slightly more demented version of myself. 

“The Survey Corps has been on the brink of open rebellion for some time now,” he said, and I nodded. “There is no great love between you and the Monarchy. I knew I had chosen well when I selected the branch that was to be Ground Zero for my takeover of the Walls. And I knew that I had chosen well when I selected you as my ally- the one ally I must place absolute trust in, no matter how much that unnerves me.” 

I noticed his painfully precise language- lots of “my plans” and “my takeover,” yet that bit about “complete trust” and admission of nervousness at the end. It was designed to get me used to treating him as my leader, the one who was “taking over,” yet keep me feeling privileged and honored that he had “chosen” me. 

“You're a very skilled little sweet talker, aren’t you?” 

“No one’s every called me out on it before. I'm flattered.” 

Despite being mildly amused- and admittedly impressed –I was running short of patience. “I thought I told you to cut the shit at the beginning of this conversation, Soldier.” 

Arlert laughed; leaned back and propped his feet up on my desk, his cheerfulness intact but his politeness evaporating. “Fine then, I’ll be as blunt as I can manage. Although after years of speaking in such roundabout, disarming ways, forgive me if I slip into old habits.” 

“Go on.” 

“I want to take over the space inside these Walls- I want to rule it, like I ruled Shiganshina.” That much I had guessed- it had been fairly obvious, to me, from the moment he agreed to leave Shiganshina and join the Military. “The Shifters offered me many tempting things, but I value only the future- and there was no future with them.” 

Was that sadness I saw in his eyes? Yes, it most certainly was. I decided, on a whim, to call him out on that as well. “But you wanted there to be? You wanted to have a future with the Shifters?” 

He cocked his head; looked at me in mild irritation. “It holds no weight in the current situation, but in the interest of being as frank with you as possible, yes. I wanted there to be a future with the Shifters; I wanted to side with them. But it was illogical; self-defeating, even, and counterproductive. Therefore, I obviously chose the other path available to me.” 

“I beg to differ- that carries quite some weight in the current situation, at least in terms of how I view you.” 

Armin smiled tiredly. “Please, Erwin,” he said, and I noted that he had even dropped my title. “It’s no different from you choosing a life of titan-slaying over a pretty young girl named Marie.” Shock made me sit up straighter; it must have been noticeable, from the way Armin shook his head ruefully. “You didn’t expect any less, did you? I did my research.” 

“Obviously,” I said, more than a bit irritated that Marie had been dragged into the conversation. Armin laughed lightly. 

“Oh come now!” he exclaimed. “You brought up _my_ love life- the least I can do is return the favor!” He removed his boots from my desk; leaned forward again. “But, as you and I both know, there are far more important things than women- in this case, the coup I’m looking to pull off; the coup you and the Survey Corps are going to help me pull off.” 

I was unsure how I wanted to play my cards; unsure if Arlert was purposefully trying to irritate me or not. “I’ve played fairly submissive up to this point, but what makes you think I’ll let _you_ rule once we dispose of the Monarchy?” 

That was as good as a commitment on my part, and as good as Armin Arlert was going to get. He had better take it and run with it; convince me to give him more. 

“Because you Sir, with all due respect, are not a politician.” 

I laughed softly. “And you are, Arlert?” 

He smirked, then admitted, “No, but I understand the way that politics work. And I relish being in control. The… _government_ I have in mind won’t have all that much to do with politics, trust me- it would simply involve the world being run by me and those I trust for some amount time. If you want, I could install you somewhere very prominent; I don’t think that’s what you’d be in for it, though.” 

“That would certainly not be my reason for aiding in this effort,” I said, a bit put out by the suggestion. “Your thinking, though farsighted, is limited- limited to you and those you care about. My thinking, however, is geared towards the good of humanity as a whole- I would sacrifice even Levi to reach that end. If I help you take over the Walls, then it’s because I think you’re better for humanity than the current Monarchy.” 

“And I am,” he assured me, seeming quite honest. “So is Eren.” 

“Ah, Eren,” I said; I had been annoyed that Armin was avoiding the subject of the Shifter. 

“Yes, Eren,” Armin Arlert purred. “And Mikasa, as well. I want you to realize one important thing before we take this little talk any farther- that is, I have chosen the Survey Corps to serve as my army. If you try to deny me that, I will simply take over the Corps before I take over the Walls. I’ll dispose of you; I’ll dispose of Levi. It’s less than ideal, and I think Eren would be quite angry with me, but it is my primary contingency, if these negotiations go south.” 

I grimaced. “That does sound unpleasant, for all parties involved.” I had no choice but to acknowledge that I had no way to prevent such a thing from happening- Levi was the only one who stood a chance of being able to subdue Eren Jaeger in his titan form, or even the human girl Mikasa Ackerman, for that matter, and Arlert had made sure he was at least temporarily out of action. We would put up one hell of a fight, but it would be a losing battle against a Shifter. “There shouldn’t be a need to resort to such contingencies.” 

“Good,” the little blonde boy said, beaming at me. “Six of the 104th that made the top ten will infiltrate the Military Police, when the time comes for them to choose a branch: that’ll be Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, Jean Kirstein, Marco Bodt, Sasha Blouse and Connie Springer. I alone will join the Survey Corps, along with whatever expendables come along this year.” 

“Wait,” I said, the latest bit not clicking into place. “Are you telling me that you have that many of the 104th in on this?” 

“’In on it?’” he echoed, and then chuckled. “No, no, not ‘in on it,’ per say. But they have a vague idea about who’s in charge of this world, and they’ll do as I say. I choose who lives and who dies, remember?” 

“Even Bodt? I assume you plan to utilize the old Veteran’s Admission protocol to get him into the MP at all.” 

“Yes, even Bodt. He still has many uses to me, and it would be cruel to deny him his role in the reshaping of this world.” 

I sighed; this was coming together all too seamlessly. “Alright… so after your six infiltrate the MP?” 

“Mikasa will be in charge of internal affairs- keeping the senior MPs in the dark. Marco and Jean will be recruiting- getting some of the other MPs and even nobles to join us, be it through genuine dislike of the Monarchy, bribery or perhaps ambition, I don’t really care; they’ll simply be extra bodies in the grand scheme of things.” 

“The more people know a secret, the more likely it is to get out,” I pointed out, although I didn’t honestly think that Armin Arlert would make such an amateurish mistake; he proved me right, his smile turning a bit patronizing. 

“I'm well aware, Erwin. I have complete control over the flow of information, as well as contingencies in place for any possible leaks.” He didn’t choose to elaborate, and I decided not to press him until I knew more. 

“Continue.” 

“Sasha and Connie will serve mostly as recon,” he said, folding his legs beneath him in a childlike way. “They’ll be my eyes and ears, as well as messengers; they’re the ones that I don’t want spotted, at all costs.” 

“And Eren?” The Shifter, the most important one in the equation, was the only one Arlert had yet to mention; I felt apprehension coiling in the pit of my stomach as his smile widened. 

“Eren will be in charge of assassinations, of course.” 

I felt a shiver run up my spine, but didn’t put my unease on display. “Have you formed any lists yet?” 

“I’ve begun to. But that’s not something you need to be privy to, Commander.” 

“I will eventually.” 

“You’ll learn of each assassination as it happens-that is final.” 

I bristled at his nerve. “I have agreed to nothing, let alone your absolute authority,” I growled, placing one hand firmly on my desk and leaning forward. “You will allow me access to these death lists.” 

“I will not,” Armin repeated, unfazed. “You have no say in this, Erwin. I will allow you some input on how the Survey Corps are utilized, but my classmates are exclusively mine to control. Therefore, the infiltration of the MP is entirely in my hands. Telling you these things at all is a courtesy on my part; a show of good faith.” 

I grit my teeth, but I knew he had a point. He could carry off his Military Police plans with or without my cooperation; I had no leverage in that particular arena. So I sighed and sat back, reluctant to submit in any way but unable to press my request any further. 

“Very well. Continue.” 

Armin’s grin was trying to split his face in two, I was certain. “That’s where the Survey Corps comes in,” he said. “Commander Pixis of the Garrison will also assist us, I believe, in a full-scale uprising against the Military Police, if you speak to him about it. All MP soldiers deployed away from the Capitol will be either killed or detained, at an appointed time; all Garrison members who resist will, as well. 

“That’s when I’ll have Eren move on the king. By that time, the royal family and their inner circle will have been gutted by my more covert operations, and it will be a simple matter to seize control. For the civilian population, it will be a bloodless passing of the torch.” 

“You expect they’ll simply accept this?” I asked, genuinely curious. “Taking over a district’s worth of starving, desperate people is one thing; taking over Sina and Rose is another entirely.” 

“I’m aware,” he said, “and admittedly don’t quite know what to expect. But the people inside the Walls are just as desperate as the people of Shiganshina, even if it isn’t as outwardly obvious. And people, regardless, are like cattle; they automatically follow whatever authority figure presents itself, unless they’re pushed to rebellion.” His eyes flashed, and he added, “Except, of course, for a few outliers such as you and I, Commander. 

“And If all else fails, I’ll have access to the same resources the Monarchy had. I’ll be able to figure out and employ _their_ … techniques for controlling the masses. “

“… How long ago did you think up this plan?” I asked, somewhat amazed that a child of his age was able and prepared to pull something like this off- which he undoubtedly was. 

“I began thinking about it the day I learned of the Fall of Maria,” he admitted. “When faced with the question of how I could obtain certain safety for those I hold dear, it was the obvious answer. I've never lost sight of that goal.” 

I opened my mouth, but couldn’t gather a reply. His eyes were so clear and calm; his smile had drifted back to its benign friendliness. When at last I managed words, they weren’t what I had intended to say. 

“Your mind must be in tatters.” 

“Incorrect,” he replied simply, his eyes narrowing slightly but his smile widening. “My mind is as intact and able as it ever was- more so, even. It is my humanity that I've voluntarily sacrificed; cut into a thousand pieces and watched as each shred withered away. 

“Surely, Commander, you can sympathize.” 

… … … 

I had a front row seat and backstage pass as Armin's plan unfolded flawlessly. 

One official after another mysteriously vanished; it became a bit of a game, between Levi and I, to see if we could guess who Armin would have Eren take out next, since I still hadn’t gotten a peak at those death lists of his. I didn’t even have the honor of being privy to the date and time when the rebellion would come to light; I didn’t particularly mind, seeing as most of it was out of my hands anyway. 

It _had_ entered my mind that double-crossing Armin Arlert was an option- he had left me a very clear opening. While it was true that, had I refused outright, it would have been a simple matter for him to take over the Survey Corps before he tackled the Military Police and the monarchy, that particular contingency of his was no longer viable. With his plan already set so far in motion, it would be quite a bother if I pulled my support and refused to mobilize my forces when the order came. 

If I did, he would be left with only two options. The first would be to put everything on hold, which would give the monarchy and Military Police more than enough time and opportunity to get their act together; perhaps they would even be able to gather evidence against him. The second would be to proceed without the Military Police yet neutralized _and_ without the backing of the Survey Corps, which would lead to a drawn-out and bloody revolution that he would likely be unable to win. My support was the only thing standing between him and that very unsavory choice. 

I had doubted it at first, but he really was placing complete trust in me and my word, no matter how nervous that notion must have made him.  
But, if I had ever really considered it, there was one thing that stopped me every time it entered my mind: the carrot he had offered me, far more convincing than anything else he could have said. 

_“I know how to lead humanity to victory, Commander. I know what the titans are and how to defeat them, once and for all. I have precious little interest in this war myself; I will leave it entirely to you. However, you must remember this: if I die before my takeover is complete, the information stored in my head and my head alone dies with me. If you want to defeat the titans, you’ll keep me alive and feeling friendly towards you until the revolution is completed._

_“When that day comes, all the information I have is yours to do with what you will. You and the Survey Corps will have the unconditional backing and funding of the new King in any future endeavors you may assume.”_

I had only told Hanji, Levi, and Mike the details of our agreement and Arlert’s offer; they were the only three I trusted with the information, and the only three who needed to know it (although I was fairly sure Moblit had heard most of it as well, from Hanji, and perhaps Petra had gotten some idea from Levi). Armin worked closely with Hanji on many things I wasn’t privy to; whenever I asked her, she answered me with riddles. Levi, much to his dark irritation, was tasked with protecting the little blonde mastermind after he had recovered. And Mike, although possibly more reluctant than Levi himself, was in charge of mobilizing the Survey Corps’ forces at the drop of a hat- whenever Armin decided to drop it. 

I had also spoken to Pixis shortly after my conversation with Armin. My old friend had, as I had known he would, agreed that an overthrow of the government would not be a bad thing for humanity, but he hadn’t agreed to lend the Garrison’s strength to the endeavor. He had said at last, with a sigh, that he would avoid taking sides if at all possible, and I had agreed that no Garrison soldiers would be harmed if it could be helped. 

Then one day, just over a month after the Battle of Trost, a small Military Police girl showed up at my door; she instantly reminded me of Armin, with her cheerful eyes and shifty smile. She introduced herself as Hitch, and asked to be let into my office. 

“Why are you here?” I queried, although I already had a fairly good idea. 

“I need to speak to _Lord_ Armin, and your office is the safest place for me to wait.” 

Sighing, I stepped aside and let her in; she curled up on my couch like a cat, and then stretched slightly. 

“Well? Go fetch him for me!” 

I sighed again; now I was being ordered around by little Military Police whores. But I didn’t question it, simply locked the door behind me and made my way down to Hanji's lab, where the two of them were engaged in their latest secret experiments. About to knock, I nearly collided headlong with Moblit as he came tearing out of the room, a very familiar expression on his face: one of panic. 

“C-Commander!!” he yelped; I expected him to mutter a hurried apology and slip past me, going about whatever business or errand he had been about to embark on, but instead he grabbed my shirt with enough force to make me spill my coffee. “Th-thank goodness you’re here…! I-it’s the Arlert boy! He just collapsed!” 

Blood turning to ice, I barged past the poor soldier and into Hanji's lab, coughing slightly at the chemical fumes that assaulted my lungs. The scientist herself was crouched on the ground, beside the unmoving body of Armin Arlert. 

“What’s going on here?!” I demanded, coming up beside them. “Hanji, what the hell happened here?!” 

“I don’t know!” she hissed, having turned Armin over onto his back. “We were discussing a theory, and he just collapsed! There wasn’t any warning!” 

“Is he…?” I dared to ask, and she shook his head. 

“He's alive, but I’ll be damned if I can wake him.” 

I knelt and examined the small boy; the fluttering of his narrow chest as he breathed. There were no outward signs of injury that I could see; upon taking his pulse, it felt faint but steady. 

“Help me out, Hanji; give me theories, if that’s all you have.” 

“He’s always been bodily weak,” the scientist replied. “I-It could be anything! It could be his heart, god forbid, or it could just be a fainting spell. The fumes could have gotten to him, but they never have before. Or it could just be sleep deprivation; he hasn’t slept in over three days now.” 

“Three days?!” I demanded. “And when the hell was the last time he ate anything?!” The hand I was holding felt as light as air. 

“I don’t know!” Hanji shrieked at me. “I’m not his mother!” 

“Damn…!” I muttered. “A kid with a weak heart who doesn’t sleep or eat on a regular schedule and breathes in your poisonous fumes for hours on end; I'm shocked we haven’t lost him yet!” 

“So am I!” Hanji squawked. “But it’s not as if he’ll listen to me, or to you for that matter!” 

“Damn…” I moaned again; it wasn’t as if I had enough to worry about. When I lifted Armin Arlert’s body, it felt like a doll- limp, chilled, and as light as if it had been made of wood. “I don’t care if he’s the mastermind of this whole goddamn coup, I'm taking him back to my room and by god he isn’t allowed to so much as step foot outside for a week. He’s still just a child, damnit. Hanji, inform Levi and Mike of the situation. Moblit, there’s a goddamn MP _slut_ waiting in my office; tell her Armin’s unavailable and kick her out.” 

“Sir!” 

“S-Sir!” 

With a heavy sigh, I traipsed back to my room with Armin in tow; wondered, idly, if he really had such little regard for his own invaluable life. Once I had laid him out on my bed, I went about my business while I waited for him to awaken; the paperwork never stopped, not even in the wake of Armin Arlert’s plans, and there didn’t seem to be anything I could do _barring_ simply waiting. 

The boy came to quicker than I had expected; he sat up, looked around, and met my gaze. 

“I fainted.” 

“You did.” 

“Damn.” 

“And you know why you fainted.” 

He smiled slightly. “Of course I do.” 

“Hanji says you haven’t slept in three days.” 

“And I don’t think I've eaten in five or six.” 

I slammed my fist down on my desk, unable to speak calmly to him anymore. “Damnit, Arlert, what the hell is the matter with you?!” 

He shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry, Commander. I don’t do such things on purpose, I promise you.” 

“How do you _accidentally_ deny yourself food and rest?!” I demanded. It wasn’t as if I claimed understanding of the creature called Armin Arlert, but that simply didn’t make any sense. 

His smile grew sad- I was fairly certain it was the first time I had seen him express true sadness and it caught me by surprise. “I'm sorry, Commander, for alarming you,” he whispered. “I… _forget_ … that I need things like food and sleep.” 

“How the hell do you forget things like that?!” I yelled, past furious at his blatant disregard for his own life… and also very unsettled by it. 

“My body has stopped trying to keep me alive,” he said simply. “I can inhale water without choking; I can hold my breath without my lungs burning. I simply don’t feel hunger anymore, and exhaustion is easy to ignore. My body and my soul are both dead- my mind is the only thing still alive inside me.” 

I felt my blood go cold. “You’re… not kidding.” 

“I’m not kidding.” There was that sadness again, sharp and poignant. “I apologize. I'm not suicidal; I have no desire to die. It’s simply that I lack the physical instinct to stay alive.” There were tears in his eyes, then; I didn’t know how to react, seeing him come apart right in front of me. “I'm sorry… I-I’ll… try…” A sudden sob choked him, and he knotted his hands in my blanket. “I’ll try… to… to…!” 

And then he was crying too hard to speak, his voice petering out into a soft keen as he doubled over, his whole body wracked with sobs. I stared blankly at him, unable to process this side of Armin Arlert; unsure of what to do. But I couldn’t just ignore it; he seemed to be breaking apart into a thousand pieces, crumbling before me- me, his uncertain ally, the one person he should not be displaying weakness to. 

But he was still just a child- a child who was dying inside and didn’t know how to save himself. 

So I sat gingerly beside him. I expected him to shove me away or wail with protest the moment I moved to touch him. But he did neither; instead, he half-flung himself at me, burying his face in my chest and pulling at my clothes, his sobs coming harder and faster. 

“I can’t do this…!!” he wailed tremulously, when he could again form words; clawed desperately at my chest and shoulders, as if trying to somehow merge our bodies. “I-I just can’t…! Why can’t I do even this… after so long…?! When I’m so close… so close…! Why now…?! Why am I breaking _now_ …?!” 

I wrapped my arms tighter around him; remained silent. He didn’t want answers from me, but from himself, and he would have to find them on his own. But what I could do was hold him while he searched for them; what I could do was hold him together so that he wouldn’t shatter like the porcelain doll he had made himself into. 

“Let me help you,” I murmured into his ear, when he had quieted slightly. “Don’t just use me; let me help you.” 

“I-I was going to kill you, you know…” he choked into my chest, and I stiffened. “I was going to have you and Levi and Mike killed… a-and Hanji… she was going to be the only one I let live…! S-she doesn’t know anything,” he continued to ramble. “She thinks… she thinks that half the stuff I propose is your idea, but you don’t have any idea, you don’t have any damn idea…” He gave a soft, tearful laugh; dug his nails deeper into me. "But... but you do... know what it's like... to sacrifice that which is precious to you. Y-You do... have blood on your hands." 

And then, his voice somehow as clear as it had ever been, Armin Arlert began to speak. 

“The titans are humans,” he said, drawing back from me and wiping crossly at his eyes and dripping nose. “I found notes, in Grisha Jaeger’s lab, about a creature he dubbed the ‘Ape Titan,’ along with a formula for a serum which induces the transformation of a normal human into a titan. If they’ve been subjected to a regimen of treatments, the subject becomes a Shifter, able to change forms at will. Eren was such an experiment- his father had been prepping him nearly since birth. 

“If a person isn’t prepared for the injection, like Eren, they turn into a Common Titan or, occasionally, an Aberrant.” He paused, wiping again at his nose, which had continued to drip. “S-Sorry. Th-the injection does chemically what the Ape Titan can do biologically; I don’t know exactly how that works, as I've never seen it done or had the opportunity to sufficiently test a so-called ‘Ape-made’ titan, only Shifters. That’s where Hanji’s been helping me a lot, with her extensive research on Common, Ape-made titans.” 

“But… if it can be chemically induced…” I began, trying to absorb and analyze all the information he was telling me. Armin nodded. 

“Exactly- there’s nothing to say that it can’t be chemically _undone_. Again, that’s what I'm working with Hanji on, although she doesn’t know the true purpose of our experiments. She just thinks that I'm trying to develop a fail-safe to get Eren’s transformation to undo if he ever loses control, or to help us should any other hostile Shifters appear. But what we’re actually developing is a _cure_ for the Common Titans- a way for them to regain their human forms and, subsequently, rid the world of titans.” 

I felt my shoulders sag under the weight of the information. “That’s… and you’ve known this… how long…?” 

He smiled ruefully. “About four years, Commander.” 

“You’ve been living with this knowledge… all this time…?” I didn’t know whether I was more appalled that he had withheld such vital information or amazed that he had managed to maintain his sanity for so long. “What else do you know?” 

Armin Alert smiled sadly. “Much more, not the least significant being what the Ape is preparing to do at this very moment. But if I told you now, you'd only begin to panic and curse your ignorant life. And I don’t want to do that to you, Commander. I’ll tell you more in time- for your own good, this time, not mine.”  
I nearly objected, but managed to hold my tongue; this tiny child had been suffering for so long, and he was genuinely trying to save me from the same torment. I was confident, then, that he would tell me what he thought I should know when the time was right. 

“Very well. Will you… allow me to tell this to Levi?” 

“As you once told me, the more people who know a secret, the more likely it is to get out,” he said, a note of disapproval in his voice. “I haven’t even told this to Mikasa or Eren.” 

“…” Unsettled, I nodded. “Very well, I’ll keep it from Levi, and Mike also. However, I think that Hanji should know.” 

“Hanji has the largest mouth I've ever come across,” the boy said dryly. “She is the absolute last one I want to know any of this.” 

Sighing softly, I resigned myself to living with the secret. “Very well… I suppose I agree.” 

Arlert let himself drop onto his side; I felt a momentary stab of alarm as his eyes closed, his body going absolutely still. But then he spoke, his lips barely moving. “Could you fetch me something to eat? I don’t know for certain, but I think I might faint again.” 

Nodding, remembering what had started the whole meltdown, I rose. “Of course. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

He gave a murmur of acknowledgment, then lapsed into silent stillness once again- he looked like a corpse, pale and tearstained and unmoving on my bed. But I shook the image from my head. Armin Arlert was far too strong to die, at least yet; not while there was still work to be done. So I slipped out of the room and nearly ran bodily into Levi, who was watching me with narrowed eyes. 

“What was that about?” he asked, in a deceptively innocent tone. I shrugged. 

“Nothing; the Arlert boy fainted from exhaustion, and Hanji was panicking. So I brought him back to my room. We can’t afford to let him die yet, you know.” 

“That’s a load of bullshit,” Levi spat, and my heart sunk. 

“You were listening.” 

“I heard screaming, you stupid fuck. I was concerned, so I came to check on you.” 

“You still shouldn’t have been eavesdropping.” I knew it was useless- Levi was not the type of person who could be shamed into admitting anything. 

My subordinate drew back his lip. “You stupid fuck,” he repeated, hands balling into fists. “You really weren’t going to tell me anything, were you? After all that, after everything Arlert just told you, you really weren’t going to tell me!” 

I shook my head slowly, massaging my forehead with one hand. “Levi, I am in a very delicate position right now. Armin Arlert is absolutely vital to the survival of the human race, one way or another, and he’s in a very unstable state right now. I can’t afford to break the trust he was so reluctant to give.” 

Levi scowled. “That’s bullshit.” 

“Why else would I keep something like that from you, Levi?” I asked cajolingly, hoping to calm him down; hoping he wouldn’t call me on the truth. 

He did call me on it. “Because you couldn’t predict how I would react. You're like Arlert- obsessed with controlling the variables. And if you can’t reasonably predict how something will pan out, you don’t go through with it. This whole ‘titans are humans’ revelations? You couldn’t peg my reaction to that.” 

I groaned; he knew me too well. “Levi…” 

“I know you too well for you to be able to pull something like that over on me, fool,” he huffed. 

Shaking my head slightly, I began to walk; understanding, he followed me. “So what _is_ your reaction? I still can’t get a handle it.” 

Levi gave a soft growl; shook his head. “Fuck, Erwin…” he sighed softly. “Honestly? I don’t know what to think. I'm disturbed- I'm disturbed as all hell. If I've been killing _humans_ this whole time…” he gazed briefly down at one hand, as if it had suddenly obtained a slick red coating, “… I don’t know how I’ll be able to live with that.” 

“Everything we’ve done has been necessary, Levi,” I put in, trying to soothe my subordinate’s apparent distress. He glanced up at me. 

“You think I don’t know that? That doesn’t matter, one way or the other; I wouldn’t take a single swing of my blade back. The question is whether or not I’ll be able to live with it, after this war is over with.” 

I felt myself soften with affection; ran my fingers the wrong way through Levi’s hair, although I knew such things annoyed him. “I often have the same thoughts- I had them even before this revelation.” 

“That’s because you send men to their deaths on a regular basis,” he grumbled. “I'm not used to thinking about human life that I've taken with my own hands.” 

“It never stops eating at you.” 

“Thanks for the comforting thought, old man.” 

“Any time.” 

… … … 

The three kids from Shiganshina shared a deep connection, one I doubted I would ever be able to fathom. 

For, even though he had kept them in the dark for years, Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman showed up on my doorstep two days later, asking after one Armin Arlert. 

“Aren’t you two supposed to be carrying out his plans in Sina?” I asked curiously, and Eren’s subsequent glare practically burned through my eye sockets and into my skull. 

“Something’s wrong with Armin. Let us past before I decide to go straight through you.” 

I stepped obediently back, seeing no reason to stop the two of them. Although Eren stormed straight past me, Mikasa paused; waited for me to close the door. 

“Where is he?” 

I was taken aback. “What?” 

“Eren may be prepared to tear the whole castle apart, but I am not. You will show us to where Armin is.” 

I nearly laughed, but managed not to. Instead I simply sighed, beckoned, and did as I was commanded. I also thanked the heavens that they would have no way of knowing that the room I led them to was actually mine, as that would lead to many an awkward question (and possibly having to defend myself, possibly from a very protective titan). 

I knocked before entering; it had annoyed me to begin with, how I now needed to knock before entering my own room, but I had gotten used to it quickly enough. The answer was prompt and cheerful. 

“Erwin? You brought visitors?” 

I smirked, wondering if they really were connected through some strange psychic power or if he had simply heard the extra sets of footsteps. “Your two friends claim that there’s something wrong with you.” 

“By all means, come in.” 

Mikasa and Eren fairly barged past me, then; nearly tore my door off its hinges in their rush to see their friend. Armin was curled on my bed, as had been his favorite spot since his collapse, mostly hidden in a bundle of blankets and with a book in his hands. He smiled up at his friends. 

“Eren, Mikasa. It’s good to see you two. Is something wrong?” 

“That’s what we’re supposed to ask,” Mikasa huffed, stopping a few inches short of the bed. Eren didn’t stop, but instead crawled up beside his friend. He burrowed under the covers and popped up next to Armin, pressing his forehead against that of the other boy. He whispered something I couldn’t hear, and Armin laughed. 

“It’s not that, it’s not that. No, I just got a little over-tired and collapsed. Erwin's been taking good care of me since.” 

“I don’t trust him,” Mikasa said bluntly, with a hostile glance at me. I held up my hands in an attempt to display my harmlessness, and Armin laughed again. 

“Mikasa, Mikasa, its fine. We can trust him.” 

A low growling came from the Shifter boy, and I felt unease race up my spine despite myself. But he didn’t speak, just pressed himself closer to his blonde friend and nipped at his ear in a possessive manner. Armin squeaked, seeming unnerved, and shoved him away. 

“Don’t do that, Eren! You know how it freaks me out!” 

“Consider yourself lucky,” Mikasa murmured ruefully. “He bit my neck while I was sleeping the other night; scared me out of my wits.” 

I tried to decide whether I found it more touching or freakish. It was probably, I thought, an even mixture of both. 

“You two came all the way from Sina?” Armin asked, and Mikasa nodded. 

“As quickly as we could. Something… felt wrong. We had to check it out.” 

“I’d been having dreams,” Eren murmured, pressing his nose into Armin’s cheek. “I heard you screaming.” 

The blonde boy smiled; wrapped thin arms around his friend’s shoulders and held him close. “I’m fine, Eren. I promise. I’ll always be here when you need me.” 

“And we’ll always be here for you,” Mikasa said, sitting down at last on the edge of the bed. She reached forward; tangled her fingers in a bit of Armin’s golden hair. “You forget that too often, Armin- we’re here for you, too.” 

I didn’t feel comfortable watching any more of their interactions; I had seen what I needed to, and so I quietly slipped out into the hallway and closed the door behind me. After a moment of hesitation, I decided that I should go and fetch some food for the trio; I had been in the process of fixing lunch for Armin, regardless. I wondered, as I collected three trays of food, why Armin had been suffering in silence for so long when he had a pair of such fine, devoted friends. I decided I would ask him later, and see if he would tell me. 

By the time I returned, the trio had fallen silent behind my bedroom door; I knocked, and received a soft word of permission from Armin. The three kids, much to my surprise, were all curled up in my bed now; Armin was on Mikasa’s lap, with Eren curled protectively around the both of them. The blonde boy had his eyes closed. 

“I brought the three of you lunch,” I said helpfully. “You two must be hungry after your journey.” 

Instantly Eren’s head was up, and Mikasa gave a soft squeak of protest as leaned forward over her, disrupting their little huddle. I smiled slightly, surprised and somewhat pleased to see the terrifying Shifter acting like nothing more than an overly eager child. After a moment, the three of them had managed to untangle themselves, although they stayed within inches of one another as I set the trays down in front of them. 

“Is it poisoned, Armin?” Eren asked curiously, and the blonde boy chuckled. 

“No, Eren, it isn’t poisoned. I promise.” 

The boy’s face lit up at the assurance and he began to eat hungrily; Mikasa tucked in more slowly, then paused and glanced over at Armin. 

“You need to eat, too,” she reminded him. He began to reply but, before he could, she had shoved a piece of bread into his mouth. “Eat.” 

I couldn’t help but smile at the sheer innocence of the scene- three childhood friends sharing a meal. For the moment, all was as it should be. _This… is what Armin has suffered to preserve…_ I realized slowly. _To him… this is worth all the mental anguish and physical toll. I can’t say I blame him._ Eren laughed lightly; butted his head against Armin's shoulder, and the blonde knotted his fingers affectionately in the other’s ratty hair. 

Again, I felt strangely uncomfortable watching such interactions, so I backed out of the room and closed the door quietly behind me. But I ended up leaning against the doorpost, unable to move as I contemplated the three strange creatures who currently shared my bed- Armin Arlert, powerful and broken; Mikasa Ackerman, gifted and crippled; Eren Jaeger, childlike and mad. 

_Humanity’s… unlikely saviors…?_

“Erwin!!” 

I glanced over at Hanji’s sheik, sighing tiredly and pushing myself away from the wall as the scientist approached with flailing arms and raised voice. 

“Erwin, Erwin, Erwin! I need to see Armin! I need to see Armin right now!!” she wailed excitedly, skidding to a halt in front of me. 

Trying to suppress my curiosity, I shook my head. “He’s busy right now,” I said, just as the door to my bedroom opened. 

“Nonsense,” the blonde boy said softly, glancing first at me and then at Hanji. “I’m always available for Miss Hanji.” He turned back, and I noted that Eren and Mikasa hadn’t moved from the bed; I had expected them to follow him automatically. “You two stay here; I’ll be right back.” Then he looked at me; I saw the despair in his blue eyes, the unshed tears. 

_Even after this long… it tears him apart that he can’t lean on his friends for support._

“I’ll come, too.” 

Relief made him smile slightly, and I felt a brief flare of satisfaction that I had managed to give him what he wanted the most- one person, in the entire world, who knew of the weight he bore on too-thin shoulders. “If you wish, Erwin.” 

Hanji was practically skipping as she led us back to her lab; Armin’s steps were slow and deliberate, and I could tell he didn’t feel completely steady. But he didn’t show it, and we arrived soon enough in the chemical-scented basement room where Hanji conducted most of her experiments. 

“So what’s the news, Hanji?” the blonde boy asked; the scientist made an excited yipping noise. 

“I think I might’ve cracked that formula you set me working on!” 

Armin’s eyes widened sharply. “Really? Let’s see it, then!” 

I couldn’t follow what they were talking about, after that; I didn’t even try. But what I could follow were their excited tones; Armin’s shining eyes. 

“Does this mean what I think it means?” I asked, eventually, and Armin turned to me. 

“Yes! Yes, it absolutely does!” 

I felt my stomach flip. _A way… to obliterate the titans…? A way to… turn them…_ human _again?_

“We beat it…” Armin whispered, and I wondered briefly what he could possibly mean- who or what we had beaten. _Probably… that Ape he was talking about…_ I thought, remembering that he had also admitted to knowing what the so-called Ape Titan was planning. “It hasn’t begun yet… Erwin!” he raised his voice suddenly, and I nodded. “I need test subjects- as soon as possible!” 

“You mean Shifters?” Hanji queried, and Armin shook his head. 

“No… no, not Shifters, per say.” But he didn’t elaborate; he didn’t want her knowing, not yet. “Erwin?” 

“I’ll organize an expedition,” I said, nodding slightly. I could see the gears turning in Hanji’s mind; it was only a matter of time before she figured it out. “Any preference as to who we take?” 

“Not particularly; that’s your area of expertise,” Armin said. “But I do have one request.” 

I cocked my head. “Oh? And what might that be?” 

“Leave Levi here.” I stiffened; that had been the last thing I had been expecting. “You’ll lead the expedition, of course; I’ll lend you Mikasa and Eren, as well. But I will be staying here; my other plans are too close to fruition for me to leave. I’ll need Levi nearby if something goes wrong.” 

Taking his arm, I led him from the room; away from Hanji, much to the scientist’s apparent confusion. “You’ll need to explain this to me in more detail,” I said bluntly. “If you’re asking me to leave my strongest soldier- and someone very dear to me –behind, I’ll need specifics.” 

Armin grimaced. “Is it not enough that you know more about my plans than anyone else? Is it not enough that I confide in you and not my friends?” I felt bad asking for more, but on this I wouldn’t waver; I shook my head. Sighing, Armin massaged his forehead briefly. “Very well, Erwin… very well. 

“I didn’t anticipate Hanji’s success until after the coup was complete; I felt comfortable with that, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to act on the problem of the titans until that time. In fact, it would be very convenient if I could put off dealing with the titans until after the overthrow of the Monarchy. However, I can’t afford to take any chances, not with the Ape out there- Hanji’s genius has given me the opportunity to strike sooner than anticipated, and I can’t in good conscience turn that down. 

“That means that I’ll need to ignite the coup while you and your expedition are out Beyond the Walls; at that time, Eren won’t be by my side, and I’ll need someone to keep me safe.” 

“And you’re choosing _Levi_?” I asked disbelievingly. “Levi doesn’t like you, Armin.” 

He laughed softly. “I know. But he won’t disobey you. Plus, he has enough information about the bigger picture so that he won’t act against me- moreover, he’ll want to keep me alive until the titans are defeated.” 

“But why lend me Mikasa and ask for Levi to remain behind?” I pressed. “Both are equally skilled; wouldn’t you feel more comfortable with Mikasa at your side, as I would with Levi at mine?” 

Armin sighed; I could tell that he was tired of explaining his plans, and I appreciated the effort he made as he continued. “It might be more comfortable for the both of us, but… this configuration grants us the best chance… should the Ape make its move.” 

“What the hell is this business that the Ape Titan is planning?” I asked at last. “I know you don’t want to tell me, but it seems to be at the core of most of your plans and contingencies. You’ve told me that the survival and well-being of your friends is your highest priority, but that doesn’t seem to be the case; on the contrary, this Ape Titan and its plans seem to be your highest priority.” 

Armin smiled sadly. “Erwin… you’re right, I don’t want to tell you,” he murmured, “… but perhaps it is best that you know. 

“The interior of the Walls will become a living hell when the Ape makes its move- when it begins turning people within the Walls into titans. I want Levi here because he’ll have the motivation to fight the decent into that hell; Mikasa would just as soon let everyone inside these Walls die, and I doubt even I could convince her to act otherwise.” 

“…” I paused; what he had said regarding Levi did make sense, but I was still left with more questions than answers. “... The Ape is going to being turning people within the Walls into titans? Alright, but why? What is the it’s motive? And why now?” 

To my surprise, Armin shook his head. “I don’t know the answer to those questions. Everything I know I learned from Grisha Jaeger’s notes, and they held precious little on the Ape. I've only seen it once, from a distance; one starlit night from atop the Walls of Shiganshina. I’ve never had contact with it; I don’t know where it came from or what it wants.” 

“And you still don’t know _how_ the Ape turns people into titans?” I verified; he shook his head. 

“Not a clue. Well, a clue or two, perhaps, but nothing definitive.” 

“Just that it’s planning to turn the people inside the Walls into titans- and sometime soon?” 

“That’s about the size of it.” 

I nearly laughed aloud. “The great Armin Arlert, working with that little information? I can hardly believe it.” 

The blonde’s eyebrows arched. “Really now?” he asked dryly. “You can’t believe it?” 

“Everyone thinks you’re omnipotent,” I said, with a soft laugh. “But you’re really flying by the seat of your pants, aren’t you?” 

Armin’s face cracked into a smile. “And you, Erwin Smith, can take a flying _leap_ into a titan’s mouth.” 

I laughed again, louder this time; I had to laugh, otherwise I might break down and scream, or perhaps begin to cry. “And where does that leave those of us who’ve put our trust in you?” 

“Just obey me, and make sure those you care about do, as well.” 

“I don’t think I have a choice at this point.” 

“No, you don’t.” 

Chuckling softly, I turned. “Fine… fine. I’ll follow you- but not blindly, mind you. I’ll be watching, and if I see something I'm not sure about, be damn sure I’ll question it.” 

“I’d expect no less,” he said, with a tired smile. “And I more or less appreciate that, Erwin.” 

We parted ways, then; I to my expedition and he to his coups d'état. But then, at the last minute, I turned; asked him one more question. 

“Why are you doing this?” 

He paused; turned. “What?” 

“Including me in your plans- trying to make sure that I, and those I care about, survive this whole thing?” 

His smile widened slightly, eyes shimmering with sadness and warmth. “Because you’re a part of this, now; you’re one of us. 

“And we look after our own.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed~ They absolutely make my day! Also, if you'd like, I've uploaded several bonus scenes to my tumblr (3dmgshenanigans), so feel free to check those out! 
> 
> I hope to see you all very soon in the next chapter~


	13. The Mortality of Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Gentle-but-important reminder that I told you guys from the beginning that I had tweaked Levi's timeline....~~) 
> 
> I am... so exhausted. This chapter... was a monster to edit. 
> 
> I do apologize for the wait (as per usual), and hope that the 18K words of awesome that are this chapter make up for it! 
> 
> And, in related news, this fic has officially hit 100K words!! I don't even know what to make of that. So a shout-out and a huge thanks to everyone who's sent kudos, reviewed, or is even just silently reading and hopefully enjoying it! Seriously, I love you all. <3 
> 
> And also a massive shout-out to the original prompter who started this whole thing, Feneris. I am forever in your debt for the wild ride your prompt has taken me on.

It had been a long time since I had seen Erwin head off to his game of war without me at his side.

"I'm entrusting the fate of humanity to you, Levi," he said. "Protect Armin Arlert, with your very life if you must."

I stared at him for a moment, then scowled and spat out, "I hate the kid, Erwin. He's gotten a countless number of my men killed for the sake of his shitty little plans."

"Levi..." I hated that tone; I couldn't argue with that tone. I looked down.

"Fine..." I muttered at last. "You know best, Erwin. I trust you."

I did trust him, but I didn't trust the little blonde _rat_ he was telling me to look after. The bastard was saying goodby to his co-conspirators at that very moment, hugging the insane little titan kid tightly and then exchanging a few words with the girl, Mikasa; he let her kiss his forehead. I bid a disgruntled farewell to Mike, Petra and Hanji, as well, and then watched as they rode away from the headquarters. Then I turned, fixing Armin Arlert with a steely glare. He smiled a bit sheepishly and shrugged.

"I'm sorry you're stuck here with me. But I need a dedicated body guard during the coup, and you were the only reasonable choice." 

I snorted. "I won't stick my neck out for your sake, Mushroom Head."

"I hope I won't have to ask you to," he replied, and then motioned for me to follow him. With little alternative, I submitted to padding along at his side.

"So you _do_ plan to go ahead with the coup while Erwin and the others are gone?" I asked, after a moment. Armin nodded.

"I'm afraid that I can't afford to wait. There are questions that I can't obtain the answers to until the takeover is complete, and I can't move ahead with the war on the titans until I have those answers."

"Would you mind giving me something a little more concrete to go on?" I asked sorely, and glared more fiercely when he looked over at me.

"I would mind, actually."

"Fuck you."

He sighed. "Such vulgarity doesn’t suit a man of your status- it’s unbecoming, and unpleasant."

I narrowed. "Uppity little shit. I have half a mind to toss you to the MP dogs."

"Erwin would be quite displeased," he pointed out; although his tone was reasonable, his eyes glinted with something inappropriately playful.

I didn't have time to spit out some retort before a girl skipped out of a nearby room and fell in on Armin's other side. I vaguely recognized her, but decided that she was no one of any real concern.

"Is the plan proceeding as anticipated, _Lord_ Armin?" she purred, her mouth curving into an unnatural smile.

"Yes," the boy replied. "Please fetch me Jean and Marco, would you? I need to speak to them briefly before things are set in motion."

"Of course," the girl replied, bowing low. Then she winked at me, much to my irritation, and scurried off.

"What the hell was that about?"

He granted me a somewhat reasonable answer. "Hitch is one of my Military Police informants; she has almost unlimited access to nigh unimaginable wreaths of information." His eyes were beginning to shine, similar to Hanji's when she spoke about her freakish science experiments. "I was incredibly lucky to find someone so similar to me who has such connections."

"She's a goddamn whore," I pointed out bluntly, and he laughed.

"That's true. But she knows how to get what she wants, and how to get it with minimal effort. Our tactics are entirely different, but out basic mindset is the same."

I suddenly found myself liking Armin Arlert even less than a moment ago, and again wondered why Erwin had to let the little whelp into the Walls at all. He had been perfectly harmless just stranded out in Shiganshina. None of this coup business would be going on, and we were perfectly capable of winning the war against the titans without the interference of some snot-nosed, fucked up, mushroom-headed twerp who willingly compared himself to slime like that wretched little Military Police hussy.

I was mildly surprised when he led me down to the dungeons beneath the Survey Corps headquarters. We kept the Leonheart girl down there, and I noticed him spare a glance for her door as we passed it.

"I'll be sleeping down here from now on," he announced, and I screwed up my face. "As will you."

"I will not be sleeping in this filthy dungeon," I said flatly. "It's not only more dusty than the rest of this place, it's mildewed through and rat-infested."

"And its also the best protected part of Headquarters," Armin said simply. When he began to walk again, I had little choice but to follow. "I've not only set up several sleeping quarters down here- ten total, should the need arise -but I've cached supplies enough to last a party of ten for approximately two months."

"You made yourself a little bunker..." I realized slowly, and he nodded.

"Should something unforeseen happen, this is my final contingency: retreat below ground, down here, and collapse Headquarters above us. I've rigged several of the main support beams in the castle with explosives, and it will be nigh impossible to detect this hiding place beneath all the rubble. Then we'll have the time and space to regroup, and launch a new offensive when we're good and ready."

I was loathe to admit it, but I was a bit impressed. He didn't have blind faith in his own plans; he had worst-case scenario contingencies.

"Well, I'm still not sleeping down here..." I muttered, and he laughed again.

"Someday soon, Corporal, you may not have a choice."

... ... ...

Jean Kirstien and Marco Bodt arrived just in time for supper. Hitch returned, as well, and Armin invited her to stay for dinner, much to my chagrin.

"Welcome, friends." With the vast majority of the Survey Corps gone, Armin had fixed us up a virtual feast with what he had found in the kitchen stores. "I'll inform you of the next stage in my plans while you eat."

I tucked reluctantly into my meal, noticing that Armin didn't have a plate in front of him; he wasn't even making an attempt at normalcy. I knew that if Erwin was there, he would probably scold the child and force him to eat something; I knew he would want me to do the same in his absence. However, not only did I lack all manner of caring, I refused to mother the demented little kid on principle. So I ate my own food, satisfying my body's needs like a normal person, and listened in silence.

"I'm acting a lot sooner than I would like to." Armin began by admitting it. "But I now see that there is no choice." 

"How are we gonna fight the Military Police and the loyal Garrison members without the Survey Corps?" Jean asked, through a mouthful of food. "We just won't have enough bodies."

"Ah, but see here," Armin said, leaning forward. "We _will_ wait to deal with the Garrison and Military Police until after the Survey Corps returns. The vast majority of Sina's inner workings have already been gutted, with no one the wiser. We can maintain a puppet government for a few days. Erwin has strict orders to return within the week; we can conceal the king's death for just that long, don't you think?"

"'The king's death?!'" Marco demanded, and Armin nodded eagerly.

"That's the next step- the death of the king." He looked far too pleased with himself... and _I_ was still bristling from the casual way he had said, "Erwin has strict orders." "I need access to information that only the innermost members of the Monarchy have. If we can't take down the king, and soon, humanity's enemies will get the jump on us, and it'll be a small nightmare to make up that ground."

"Always you and your information," Hitch purred, teasing and a bit exasperated, as she reached over me obtrusively to grab the bottle of wine on the table. "You're such a whore for the stuff."

"There are far worse addictions to have," Armin replied, straight-faced. "Regardless, we move on the king tomorrow. Jean, inform Sasha and Connie of the plan; I don't want any of our extended allies knowing. Hitch, let Marlo know, but that's all."

"Ay-ay, Capin'," the girl purred, standing up. "If I may request my leave of this banquet, now?"

"Go on," Armin said, with a wave if his hand. "Just remember this- you and Marlo will be picking us up tomorrow, and responsible for letting Corporal Levi into the castle via the MP side entrance. Don't oversleep."

"Of course not, my Lord," Hitch replied, bowing so low that she was almost bent double. Then she spun and stalked from the room, all of us watching her leave with varying expressions on our faces.

"I don't like that bitch..." Jean muttered, taking a swig of his coffee.

"She's the loyalist Military Police informant we have, along with Marlo," Armin said, a bit appealingly. "Bear with her for a little longer."

"So we're going to kill the king and not tell anybody?" Marco asked, a bit lamely, and I scoffed around my tea cup.

"That's the general idea," Armin replied. "You and I, Marco, will be the ones to do the actual deed, by the way."

The freckled kid choked on his food. "What?!" he demanded, between hacks, as his concerned friend smacked him awkwardly on the back.

"In the same vein as what you did for me during the Battle of Trost," Armin began, with a somewhat heavy sigh, "no one will suspect or question an injured veteran. I'll pose as your cousin. My dear cousin Marco agreed to give me a tour of the Royal Palace, supervised by the Military Policeman Marlo. I already have blueprints of the palace; I already know where the king's quarters are supposed to be, as well as where they actually are. Are you willing to do this for me, Marco?"

Marco stalled, and I felt an unpleasant stab of pity for the poor kid. "If... that's what you need me to do, Armin...."

"Thank you, Marco." The blonde dipped his head. "Jean, you'll be with us, along with Marlo. Hitch will be Corporal Levi's guide. And Sasha and Connie will be in charge of keeping everyone else busy. Jean, tell them to do it however they'd like; they can set fire to the kitchen if they want. I just need a window of time to make sure that the king and his inner circle are dead and out of the way."

Jean looked visibly distressed, but he nodded. I expected him to say something, but he held his tongue. I could read the reservations in his eyes as clear as day, and wondered if Armin had noticed as well.

"After that, we'll focus entirely on concealing the King's death until Erwin returns," Armin concluded. "Levi, you'll assist me in a search for the information that I need, but other than that the plan will _not_ move forward until the main body of the Survey Corps returns. Then we'll seize real power, and take it from there."

He folded his hands neatly. "Any questions?"

"I've got one," I growled. "How the hell did a kid your age get so fucked up?"

"Sheer necessity, Corporal," he replied, straight-faced. "Marco? Jean?" Both boys shook their heads, and so Armin stood. "Excellent. I'm going to retire early tonight, but stay as long as you wish. Corporal Levi?"

I rose reluctantly, following the blonde from the room. No sooner had we put a door between us and the dining hall, however, than he let himself slump against a wall. I was momentarily alarmed as he covered his eyes with one forearm.

"... Hey, Armin?"

He shook his head; laughed breathily. "Why am I so tired...? I can't... do this again... not now..." He let his knees buckle, seemingly voluntarily, slumping into a sitting position. After a moment of awkward shuffling and hesitation, I crouched beside him.

"It might help if you actually ate something," I muttered gruffly.

He shook his head slightly. "Did I... forget to do that again...?" he asked distantly, and I groaned.

"Fuck..." So much for not mothering the kid; if I didn't, he'd probably up and _die_ on my watch. With a gruff, "Wait here," I left him there and stalked back into the dining room, granting the two young soldiers no explanation as I gathered up a plate of food and then left again. Armin was right where I'd left him, his head shaking slowly and rhythmically.

"Hey... hey." I shoved the food at him, refusing to be gentle on principle. "Eat, damn it."

The kid peaked out from under his arm at me, then grimaced and accepted the plate. He ate reluctantly, seeming to force himself to chew and swallow each bite. He set down the plate when he had finished.

"Thank you, Corporal," he said. "That... will probably help."

I sighed heavily. "You have problems, brat. It's my job to protect you, but I won't be held responsible if you kill _yourself_."

He smiled slightly. "Of course not, Corporal." He stood, seeming steady on his feet, and then trudged down toward the dungeon. I was surprised; had expected his talk of sleeping in the dungeon to be preemptive, if anything. But he made his way to one of the prepared rooms.

There were two beds. He didn't speak, but I knew that I was supposed to sleep beside him. I knew that that was what he was expecting of me, and I hated to conform to his expectations and plans. But, at the same time, I knew I couldn't leave him alone, not in good conscience.

So I crawled into the bed he had prepared for me, trying not to listen too attentively to his breathing.

... ... ...

Armin woke before I did the next morning.

"Get ready quickly," he called briskly, and I twitched with irritation. "The sooner we get to Sina, the better."

"Why the rush?" I muttered. "It isn't as if the king is going-" Then I stalled, my eyes widening as he came around the corner and into my view. "What… the _fuck_?"

"Convincing?" he asked, spinning in a circle. While I picked my jaw up off the filthy ground, he gathered up his skirts and curtsied.

"And this is necessary _why_?" I demanded, and he chuckled.

"Because, Corporal, a young girl is that much less likely to be an assassin. And now picture me in the company if a crippled veteran and a young Military Police escort, hmm? Fairly disarming, yes?"

"Painfully so," I murmured. "What have you got under those skirts- a dagger?"

"Three, actually, plus my Maneuver Gear straps. I've also got a pistol and a couple of vials of poison."

I opened my mouth to reply, but decided that I was better off just keeping quiet. So I shrugged into my clothes and went about my morning routine, refusing to hurry for Armin's sake. As per his instruction, I wore my full 3D Maneuver Gear, cumbersome though it was. 

There was a carriage waiting to take us to Sina, with two Military Policemen in the back. One was that Hitch woman; the other was a young man with a long, serious face and a neat, bowl-shaped undercut to his black hair.

"Aaah, you look so cute!" Hitch shrieked, as Armin gathered up his skirts and stepped up into the carriage. He sat across from her, giving her a somewhat amused grimace but not replying. I climbed in beside him, across from the other Policeman.

"Corporal, you've already met Hitch; this is Marlo, a young idealist within the MP. We were lucky to find him. Marlo, Corporal Levi."

"An honor," the young man said seriously, bowing slightly. I grunted in acknowledgment, surprised. Hitch nudged him in the side.

"Lighten up!" she urged. "Why bother with formalities? We're all anarchists here!"

Armin's grimace became more pronounced.

"I-I'm not an anarchist..." Marlo objected, quietly. "I just want change, and I've realized that I'll never be able to bring it about on my own..."

I felt an unexpected stab of sympathy for the young man, with his earnest voice and broken eyes. But I pushed it away; I didn't want to feel anything but dislike for Armin Arlert, his plans, and his allies. I felt as much as saw Armin himself soften beside me, and glanced over in surprise. He had bent his head, but I was close enough to see that his grimace had melted into a smile.

There was very little conversation amongst us during the trip into Sina, only the occasional banter between Hitch and Armin ignited by the girl when she got too bored. I often caught Marlo staring at me, but he looked away every time I met his gaze.

"... We're all clear on the plan, right?" Armin asked eventually, when the palace came into view. Hitch nodded easily; Marlo more tersely. And, eventually, I grunted an acknowledgment.

The carriage ground to a halt; Hitch and Marlo got out first, the later offering his hand to Armin. The blonde boy accepted it graciously, looking nothing short of feminine as he stepped down onto the cobblestones. I got out a bit more grudgingly, following Hitch in the opposite direction. I saw Armin meet up with the one-armed kid- Marco, I thought -in front of the palace before my escort led me around the corner to the side entrance. Then the little MP slut stopped abruptly, placing herself obtrusively in front of the door.

"This world belongs to Lord Armin, or at least it will very soon."

I was surprised by her serious tone, and raised my eyebrows. "What?"

Her gaze was shockingly fierce as she held me there, blocking the way. "You aren't completely on board with this plan," she pointed out, her tone inviting no argument. "But I'm devoted to him and to his future world. Once I ally myself with someone, I'll do everything I can to make sure they get to the top."

"I'm not afraid of a catty little slut," I said bluntly, underwhelmed by the threat. I was, however, admittedly unsettled when her expression twisted into a sadistic smile, so like Armin's and yet far more nasty.

"It isn't just me you have to worry about."

Then she turned; opened the door and motioned me inside. Huffing angrily, I obliged, looking around the small hallway.

"This way," the girl called softly, and I followed her down an even narrower passageway. I was shocked by how many Military Policemen we passed; how many simply nodded, or closed the doors of the rooms they were lurking in.

"Armin's Kingship has something to offer for very nearly everyone," Hitch told me, skipping slightly as she walked. "Most MPs, especially we youngsters, have precious little capacity for loyalty beyond what suits us. He offered me an easy life, which is really all I've ever wanted. He's offered others money, and still others power. Would you like to know what he offered dear Marlo?"

"Not really," I muttered.

She told me anyway. "He promised to have Nile Dawk put on trial for his crimes against humanity, and then instal Marlo as the new head of the Military Police."

I stopped walking. "He promised _what_?"

And she replied, "He promised Marlo what he couldn't possibly resist, as he's done for all of us. People will do anything, give up anything, and fight to the death to obtain their hearts' desires. That's what Armin understands terrifyingly well, and that's why you should be afraid if you try to resist him."

I felt my blood chill a bit despite myself, her words ringing true in my ears. But I shook off my unease, simply following Hitch wherever the hell she was leading me. I tried to keep track of the twists and turns, but eventually I couldn't and gave in, placing at least temporary trust in my guide.

"... him!"

It was faint, but I thought it was Armin's voice. Pushing past Hitch, I began to run toward the end of the hallway.

"... I can't!" That was the Kirstein boy, and I suddenly remembered the reservations I had seen in his eyes the night before. "I can't do it, I just can't!"

"Jean!" Armin's voice was more insistent; commanding. I came to the door in time to see him, behind the king and with a knife to the older man's throat. There were two dead Military Policemen on the ground, and the Marco boy was pushing himself up with a pained groan. Kirstein, on the other end of the room, was engaged in a tussle with another Military Policemen. Jean had a knife; I couldn't fathom why he wasn't using it. "Kill him! Do it now!"

"I-I... I can't!" Jean cried, and was pushed suddenly backwards by his assailant. He fell with a squawk, the knife skittering across the floor, and then the Military Policemen was on top of him.

Eyes flashing to me, Armin suddenly shoved the king in my direction. "Levi! Hold him!"

Although startled and a bit irritated, I had no choice but to obey, catching the man's thin wrists and holding them tightly. But my eyes were on Armin as he pulled a pistol from beneath his skirts. Almost faster than I could follow, he had taken aim and fired, his expression an unfaltering grimace. The Military Policeman's head exploded in a shower of blood and bone and brain, bathing the Kirstein boy with gore.

Marco screamed, but Jean couldn't seem to make a sound.

Armin simply stashed the gun under his skirt again, then turned to me. I looked down, for the first time, at the frail old man I was holding by the wrists. His face was bone white, teeth grit in panic, tears in his pale, watery eyes.

"You want this guy back?" I asked Armin, and he nodded. I had never had any amount of respect for the king, so I enjoyed throwing him down to the ground much more than I should have. Then Armin crouched before him, placing the tip of his knife beneath the shivering man's chin. I half expected him to say something- something smug or victorious -but his eyes were strangely hollow as the first drops of blood trickled down the knife's blade.

"W-Wait...!" The king finally managed frail words. "Wait, y-you're trying to assassinate the king, aren't you?!"

"You've already told me that you know nothing useful," Armin said softly, although he did stop the advance of his blade. "I don't know what you're trying to-"

"I'm not the real king!!"

Armin's eyes snapped wide open as the old man shrieked- shrieked it with snot and tears gathering in the crevices of his skin. The blonde took hold of his hair, pulling his filthy face upward.

"What was that?"

"I'm not the real king!" the monarch blubbered, holding up his hands frantically. "My family poses as the royal bloodline, but we aren't! One of the noble families, the _Reisses_ , they're the real royal family! It's been this way for generations, long before I was born! P-Please believe me, I'm a innocent victim caught up in all of this!"

"Innocent, hardly," Armin growled, pushing again slightly on the knife. "Who else knows about this?"

"J-Just the Military Police 1st Squad and the highest ranking Wall Cultists, plus my family and the Reisses," the fake king sobbed, his liquid eyes flowing down his pallid cheeks. "I'm just a figurehead, honest! P-Please don't kill me!"

To my eternal surprise, I actually saw Armin hesitate. His eyes flashed with something strange, and he shifted his grip on the knife. But then, before I could even think about it, he drove the knife up, killing the pathetic old man. He didn't bother to remove his blade, but let the body drop.

"Hitch, are you alright?" His voice was steady, but hollow.

I looked behind me for the first time; the girl was ashen, and trembling violently. But she nodded anyway.

"Y-Yes..."

Marlo was instantly shoving past me to reach her; wrapped one arm hesitantly around her shoulders, only to be shrugged off.

"Do you two know where the Reiss family lives?" It was Armin who asked it.

Marlo nodded. "Yes; they aren't far from here at all."

Armin nodded. "Good..." Then he turned and strode back to where Marco and Jean were huddled together; he crouched beside the two of them, and I followed him a bit so that I could hear their interaction.

"I'm sorry, Jean. I knew you had reservations about taking life, and it almost got you killed. I'm sorry." He reached out suddenly, took one of Jean's hands- the other was being held by Marco -and pressed it against his own chest. "I don't like it either. Feel how my heart rate is up? It doesn't even react to exertion anymore, but skyrockets every time I kill. Every life is precious, and should not be treated lightly. However, certain sacrifices are necessary for the survival of humanity; please try to understand."

Jean stared up at him for a moment, then slowly closed his eyes and clenched his hand into a fist in Armin's shirt. He bent his head, face twisting in a traumatized sob for just an instant, and then he straightened.

"Thanks, Armin."

"Never thank me, Jean. I'll never be able repay your loyalty."

I didn't quite know what to make of the scene, but suddenly my respect for both young soldiers increased exponentially, until I was almost looking at Armin Arlert with new eyes. The two of them rose, with Jean helping Marco up beside him. And then Armin gathered all of us with a sweep of his hand.

"If this wasn't the real king, we have to track down this Reiss man, and quickly. We're caught in a fairly desperate time crunch, now, and stuck with two assassinations to cover up. Hitch, kindly fetch Sasha and Connie; I didn't want them dragged into this, but I desperately need the extra hands. Jean, you, Marco and Marlo handle the cleanup here as best you can. Levi, you’re still with me, and Hitch, catch up with us as soon as you have Connie and Sasha with you. Objections; input?"

I looked around; all of the children wore determined expressions, some nodding slightly. So I swallowed my own objections and gave Armin a terse nod; he shot me a grateful look.

"Excellent." He put out his hand briefly, gripping first Jean's shoulder, then Marco’s, and then Marlo's. He lingered at Hitch, who was still trembling slightly. "I'll see you soon." 

She nodded, steeling herself with a visible effort. "Alright."

Then we all parted ways, with Marco, Marlo and Jean moving to take care of the bodies; Hitch paused to give Armin directions to the Reiss' estate, then raced off again down the service hallway. And I fell in beside the boy. I remembered the frailty I had seen in him the night before, and tried to find any trace of it in his movement. I failed.

"The Reiss estate is just a quarter-mile to the east," Armin told me, and I nodded briefly. "We've got to hurry. If I'm right, the Reiss family will have some way to keep in touch with the puppet monarch, and I didn't have a single Reiss on my assassination list. I completely overlooked them as a family of any importance... _damn_! They got me!"

After a few moments of running, we emerged from the palace and swerved onto a narrow garden path. We were passing a cluster of hydrangeas when the two kids, Connie and Sasha, emerged from the bushes and joined us.

"Hitch stayed behind to help Marlo with the cover up," the boy said, his face pale. Armin nodded.

"I thought she might. Did she inform you of the current situation?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to drag you two into this."

He was apologizing an awful lot that day.

"Wherever you need us, Armin," Sasha replied, and Connie murmured agreement. The blonde looked away. 

And then the Reiss' house reared up in front of us, almost as grand as the palace itself- which stood to reason, with what we now knew. Armin skidded to a halt, motioning for us to do the same.

"Levi, wait in the shadow of that column and, when you get an opening, take out whoever answers the door.” His voice was steady. “Sasha, Connie, back him up if need be. Otherwise, wait until its safe to come after us."

Everyone, myself included, nodded. I wanted to question him, but I didn't dare at this point. There was no turning back; loyalty to Armin Arlert was the only way any of us traitors would make it out of this coup alive.

And, in that moment, I cursed Erwin Smith to the hottest fires of the hell that must await us all.

Armin smoothed his wig and skirts, and then walked toward the door. Everything about his posture gave the impression of a frightened little girl, and for an instant I struggled to reconcile the illusion with the reality as he raised a hand to knock. 

There was a long, tense moment before the door was opened, and even then it just a crack. I tightened my grip on my blade, wondering how I would manage to kill someone so cautious without making a complete mess of things. I watched as Armin said something in a frail voice- it sounded as if he might be asking for directions. The servant stepped a few more inches out onto the stoop, and I figured that I should take the chance.

Shooting out one cable and lodging it in the door frame above the servant's head, I zipped toward the scene and slid in just as he tried to close the door, whisking past away from Armin. And then my blade was in the servant’s throat, before he could so much as utter a warning to his comrades.

"Flawless, Corporal, as expected," Armin commented, as I let the body fall from my blade. I grimaced.

"You've convinced me that this is necessary, Arlert, but for fuck's sake don't _compliment_ me on it."

His gaze saddened slightly, but he blinked it away. "Very well." He stepped over the body and inside, motioning for Connie and Sasha to join us. "I would think that Lord Reiss' chamber is on an upper floor, wouldn't you?"

He didn't actually wait for a response, just headed for the stairs; all of us followed, although I pulled up beside him as we went. He looked almost painfully alert, and I wondered if he anticipated being attacked.

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind than a bullet ricocheted off the banister; Armin dropped down instantly, and we followed suit a heartbeat later. The blonde had his pistol out again, and leaned up backwards over the railing to shoot. I heard a body hit the floor, and a chorus of murmurs erupted. Armin leaned up and fired again, dropping down just as a hail of bullets shot for him and missed. He switched position so that he was facing properly forward and fired a third time; I heard a Military Policeman cry out in pain. Armin grimaced as he reloaded.

"If I had foreseen this, I would have brought more guns," he muttered, and then took another shot. This time an enemy bullet nicked his shoulder, but he didn't so much as flinch.

"That’s enough," I growled, grabbing for my Gear. Armin gave me a brief, reluctant nod, and I shot out my cables toward the ceiling. The guards cried out in momentary surprise, then focused their fire on me; a mistake, as Armin took our three of them in rapid succession. I took a split second to admire his marksmanship, then swooped down and beheaded two more of them as they redirected their attention to him. Within minutes, between the two of us, the hallways were clear, save for one poor, unarmed servant who found my blades crossed at his throat.

"Where is Lord Reiss' room?" Armin asked the question.

"Th-Third floor, s-second room on the right!!"

I nodded briskly, then moved to dispatch the young man. I was startled when Armin caught hold of my hand, pulling it back.

"There's been enough killing. We don't need to add civilians to the pile of bodies."

I stared at him for a moment- at his wan face; his hollow eyes; the blood soaking through his torn shoulder. And then I sheathed my blades.

"Fine. I was only acting on your orders, anyhow," I muttered, letting the servant dissolve into a weeping puddle of misery in the hallway. I picked up a gun from one of the corpses; much as I disliked the things, I had a feeling that one would come in handy. Connie and Sasha exchanged a nervous glance before following my example. Then I fell in behind Armin as he led the way to the third floor; to the second door on the right.

"Sasha; Connie," the blonde called softly, and they both stepped forward. "You two enter with news of the attack. Say that the intruders were neutralized by an Military Police ambush on the stairs, but that there may still be more. All I need is an opening, and I'll do the actual deed. Corporal, wait for my signal."

Connie Springer took up the charade within a heartbeat or two, without further prompting, pounding on the door. "Sir!" he shouted. "Lord Reiss! Lord Reiss!"

I ducked into the shadow of a potted plant as the door opened; Armin pressed against me. I was surprised by the feel of him; how he confirmed to my body, thin and fragile, but also wiry and strong. I had to concentrate hard before I could detect the expansion of his narrow chest as he breathed, but I could feel his heart pounding as clear as if it had been hammering directly against my skin. I refocused on the door as a small man, dressed in fine nobles' clothes, poked his head out and looked in surprise at the pair outside his door.

"What is it, young soldier?" he asked in bewilderment; Sasha ran right over his words.

"Your palace is under siege, Lord Reiss! The intruders were intercepted and held by an ambush on the stairway, but there may be more of them!"

Lord Reiss' eyes grew round, and he opened the door wider. "Do come in, and hurry!" he told Sasha and Connie, and then turned his back to shout something indistinct into his chamber.

That was all the opening Armin wanted or needed.

Whipping out a knife from beneath his skirts, the blonde skidded into the hallway and then darted into Lord Reiss' chamber, blowing clean past Sasha and Connie. By the time I had caught up, he had his knife to the nobleman's throat from behind, his other hand gripping the back of his shirt. I looked around curiously; the rest of the room was deserted... for the moment. 

The knife twitched as Armin's hand flexed around its hilt. "Levi, kindly do a sweep of the room."

I nodded reluctantly, closing the door behind me and allowing Connie and Sasha to place themselves in front of it. I stared into Lord Reiss' eyes as I did so, seeing every flash of fear; every unshed tear. Armin shifted his grip on his knife again.

"If you want to live, Lord Reiss, you'll answer my questions promptly and truthfully." Armin's voice was an octave or two higher than it should have been; I wondered if it was nerves, fatigue, or perhaps an attempt to conceal his identity.

"I'll tell you anything you want," the noble replied, surprisingly calm.

"You were shouting for someone- who was that?"

"The Military Police 1st Squad," the lord said. "They should be here shortly."

Armin glanced at me, and I nodded. I would cover him as best I could while he asked the questions.

"What do you know about the origin of the titans?"

"I know that they're man-made," the true king replied. "The first royal family- my great grandfather's family -released them as a weapon to subjugate their enemies."

"I know that already," Armin said. "And they herded what was left if humanity into these Walls and seized control. But what about the tampering with of the people’s memories?"

Lord Reiss looked genuinely surprised, but he answered anyway. "The... Monarchy created several special titans- one of whom was called the Coordinate. The Coordinate has the ability to control humans and titans alike, as well as the ability to seal certain memories. The war was sealed out of the people's minds, and all interest in the Outside was declared taboo."

"... Why are you telling me all this?" There were far more important questions that Armin could have asked, but that was the next one he voiced. Lord Reiss sighed.

"I do value my own life," the lord admitted, "and I don't believe that you're bluffing. I'm also... finished. I'm finished suffering for the sake of these secrets. My wife would see me hung for saying that, but... but not my beautiful lover."

Armin looked genuinely taken aback, but he recovered himself quickly. "Tell me about the Ape."

Lord Reiss sighed heavily, his eyes slipping closed. "Ah, the Ape... the Ape Titan... that horrible creature... that poor, poor child..."

I saw Armin's eyes widen; felt my own eyebrows arch. But before Reiss or Arlert could continue, a door in the back of the room burst open. The hail of bullets was sudden and indiscriminate; Sasha and Connie both screamed, lunging for the door we had entered, and Armin hit the floor with the king beneath him. I grabbed for the gun at my waist and returned fire, scrambling for a nearby chair and ducking behind it.

There were only two of them, though; Armin, from where he was still sprawled out on the floor, shot one in the throat. I took out the other one seconds later, coming to the instant conclusion that the two of them had entered the room prepared to die. They had come in for a purpose- a purpose they were willing to face certain death to accomplish. I looked over at Armin; he was struggling to pull Lord Reiss over onto his back.

"Lord Reiss! Lord Reiss!!"

I stared numbly at the noble; at the red flower blossoming on his chest, and the larger rose opening across his waist.

"Shit..." I muttered. Armin was shaking violently.

"Lord Reiss!!"

The old man's eyes were clouded, and his hand trembled as he reached up toward Armin. "Hi... stor... i... a..."

"No, no don't fade on me now!" Armin hissed. "Don't you dare!"

"His... toria..." The king coughed. "I'm... sorry."

I didn't know what I was hearing; neither did Armin, judging from his frantic, confused expression. But apparently the Springer kid did. He shoved past me, roughly enough to make me stumble, and then dropped down beside the dying king.

"'Historia?!'" he demanded. "Did you say 'Historia?!'"

"Historia..." The king's hazy eyes remained locked on Armin; he touched the boy's face in a way that could only be interpreted as tender. "My beautiful... daughter..."

"He's lost it," I murmured, but Connie ran right over my words.

"Armin, he thinks you're Krista!!"

Armin didn't move, lest he dislodge the king's hand. "'Krista?'" he echoed, and Connie nodded frantically.

"Some of Krista's dying words were, 'My name is Historia!' I heard them!"

"I... deserve... death..." Lord Reiss murmured, his liquid eyes flowing down his wrinkled cheeks. "I deserve to die... like your mother... I let them..."

"Father!" Armin's voice had risen again, several octaves. "Father, please! Stay with me just a few moments longer! I have so many questions that I need you to answer! I need you, Father!"

"I will... try... Historia..."

"The Ape Titan- what is it, what is it really?!" Armin demanded, his voice quaking with urgency.

"A... child..." the king breathed, his eyes beginning to fade. "Just... like you... A lost... abandoned... child..."

I could see the frustration as clear as day on Armin's face, and he switched topics. "Did you know Grisha Jaeger?!"

"He... yes. I trusted... Grisha Jaeger... He... stole something precious."

"The Coordinate?!"

The king nodded.

"Who are the Wall Cultists- who are they really?"

"Scientists..." Lord Reiss breathed, and then shook his head slightly. "Cre… ators… 

“His... tor... ia... your mother..."

His hand began to slip from Armin's face. The boy grabbed it; held it there firmly.

"Father, no! Please focus!" he begged.

"Your... mother... I never should have... I shouldn't have let Kenny..."

My whole body went cold, but the name meant nothing to Armin.

"That doesn't matter, Father, not right now!" he said. "You need to tell me about the Wallists!"

"... ... ..." The king took a long moment to speak again, his eyelids fluttering with the effort of staying open. "... I never... should have..."

Armin cursed quietly, and then took a deep breath. I expected him to try again; to try to drag one last answer, one last scrap of information from the dying man's lips.

But he didn't.

"Thank you, Father. Thank you. I forgive you. I forgive you, Father. It’s okay. You can go, now."

Lord Reiss' expression eased, then, and his eyes closed. Armin let his hand drop as his chest fell still, blood continuing to seep from the wounds that had killed him, and then stood. When the blonde turned around, I noticed that he had a wound of his own- a shallow bullet hole directly over his hipbone. He noticed my stare and glanced down at it.

"The bullet that tore through his stomach got me, too," he said shortly, motioning to the dead king. "It's not deep enough to worry about, though. I'll remove the bullet momentarily." Then he turned to Connie. "Now... what is this business about Krista... _Reiss’_ last words?"

Connie was shaking like a leaf, the poor kid. "She... she thought that I was Ymir," he began lamely. "She said... 'Thank you... for letting me die a good person... and my real name is Historia.'"

"Historia Reiss..." Armin murmured thoughtfully, and then strode toward the exit. "Well, we won't be able to keep this as quiet as I had hoped. There's no guarantee there are no witnesses; I have nothing set up to conceal Lord Reiss' death; I have no way to deal with the Military Police 1st Squadron.

"The coup is in full swing, it seems, whether I want it to be or not. Please prepare yourselves for the worst."

"Armin!" I had to tell him. If he wanted us to prepare for the worst, I had to tell him. "Reiss said something about a 'Kenny-' you heard that too, right?"

The blonde turned, his eyes sparking with interest. "Yes, I heard it. Does that name... mean something to you, Corporal?"

I shifted, reluctant to confess. "... Yeah, I know a Kenny." __A _Kenny…_ I thought angrily. _Why did you say anything? You don't even know for certain that its_ your _Kenny._ The name had me spooked, though, and Armin could tell.

"Tell me, Levi." It was the same firm, gentle tone that Erwin used with me, and I relented.

"He's an Underground criminal- Kenny the Ripper, he was called. He's not someone to meddle with."

Armin's eyes narrowed a fraction, and he nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Corporal."

I had half a mind to think he wasn't taking me seriously, but I had long ago realized that Armin Arlert took everything deathly seriously. He led the lot of us- Springer, Braus and I -back out into the courtyard and toward the royal palace. The Kirstein boy, Marco Bodt and the two MPs were waiting for us at the back entrance.

"Has the news broken yet?" Armin asked grimly, and Marlo nodded.

"The whole Military Police is in an uproar. Some of our extended network have begun to act, too. I've come across three dead superiors within the last hour."

Armin cursed. "The last thing I need are my own allies causing trouble..." he muttered, and then turned to Sasha and Connie. "There's no going back now- get the word out. The coup has officially begun."

White as twin ghosts, the two young cadets nodded and hurried off; Armin called after them.

"Get back to the Survey Corps Headquarters in Rose if things start to get bad! We may need to abort and regroup!"

I felt every one of my muscles tense to snapping. _Abort and regroup…_ If Armin was considering that, things were about to get messy.

"Hitch! Get me an update on the nobles' reactions to this! Marlo, get to Nile Dawk's office and delay him from taking action in any way you can! If possible, get as much information out of him about the Military Police 1st Squadron as you can, and report back to me. Kill him if you need to!"

They both nodded and saluted, Hitch a bit more unsteadily than Marlo. Then they were off, and Armin had grabbed my wrist. I jerked back reflexively, but he didn't release me.

"Stay close to me, Corporal."

He was scared. The little shit was terrified.

I pulled my hand away.

"You got yourself into this fucking mess. Don't look at me to protect you."

He didn't fall apart like I had expected him to; he didn't plead for help. But he did look at me with the strangest gaze- a mixture of confusion and dilute hurt.

"Corporal, Erwin told you-"

"Your plans are going to shit, Arlert." I wasn't sure that I should be rebelling now; I wasn't sure if I _was_ rebelling, or just venting my frustration.

"I know that," he answered me sorely, and then grabbed my wrist again. I tried to jerk away, but this time his nails dug deep into my skin. "We need to act quickly if we're to salvage the situation at all. Now _come_."

He still sounded calm, unexpectedly so, and I relented. I doubted that I would be able to distance myself from him, after all; I would be labeled just as much of a traitor as he, if the Monarchy recovered. I had nothing to lose, I told myself, by helping Armin Arlert; I didn't think he would turn on the Survey Corps, for all the trouble he had caused us. So I let him lead me into the network of hallways that the Military Police used, not resisting the insistent pull on my arm.

"If we secure the castle, we can buy ourselves some time..." I wasn't sure if he was just thinking out loud or speaking for my benefit. "We'll have to deal with the MP 1st Squad, but we can still delay all else until the Survey Corps returns… I can send someone to fetch them, if need be…"

We emerged from the dark tunnels into the blinding light of the throne room; it was largely deserted, with the exception of a cluster of frightened-looking Military Policemen huddled at one side. Armin dropped my hand and called out to them.

"Is the main door secure?"

One of them jumped violently, but the whole lot nodded jerkily in unison. I assumed they were part of Armin's ragtag rebellion force within the MP itself. The blonde gave a sigh of relief.

"That's good, at least." He glanced back at the door we had entered by. "Corporal, could you stay near that door? I'd like it to remain accessible for our allies, but its also a potential entry point for enemies."

I nodded, a bit disconcerted but already decided to see this wretched thing through. Armin walked over and spoke quickly to the Military Police youngsters, and then returned to me.

"The whole castle is in chaos," he told me sorely. "Word of Reiss' death got out in real time, followed shortly by news of the fake king's death. Some of the people I had in place took that as the signal to begin the coup and attacked their superiors; the situation has deteriorated from there."

"Your stupid slip-up is going to get everyone killed," I snapped, and to my surprise he actually winced.

"This is not how I wanted things to go," he admitted, "but this is how things have turned out, and we must salvage what we can about the situation. Trying to stop the coup now and regroup would be suicide; we have to plow on ahead, and hope for as little collateral damage as possible."

I shifted, uneasy, but I knew that he was right. We had no real alternative at that point- _I_ had no alternative. So I stood guard by the entrance of the room, watching as Armin sat gingerly on the throne and looked down at the wound on his abdomen.

"Damn..." he murmured, pulling up his blouse and peeling the hem of his skirt away from his hip. I felt my insides twist slightly when I saw the angry wound, inflamed and seeping sticky blood.

"You need to stay off your feet," the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, and it was the best I could do to punctuate them with a disgruntled, "brat."

Armin shook his head, poking experimentally at his torn flesh, probing gently with one finger to search for the bullet. "No... I'll just... get this treated a bit... and then wrap it. It doesn't even... really... hurt." He slipped a second finger inside his hip, and then pulled the bullet out with a sick sucking sound. Despite his words, he was panting slightly. "It was... too shallow to do any real damage..."

Before I could stop myself, I was crouching down by his side, dropping the gun I held and pulling his hands away roughly. He didn't fight me as I looked the wound over.

"You!" I barked, and the MPs clustered in the corner jumped. "One of you find some goddamn alcohol- the stronger the better. Another one find some clean bandages or some type of fabric." When they didn't move, I narrowed my eyes and shouted, " _Now_! Do you little shits want to make it out of this alive?! If this kid dies, all of us die! Move!"

They all scattered like roaches, and Armin laughed softly as he leaned farther back on the throne. I felt a brief flare of concern as he went practically limp. While I waited for the MP brats to return, I directed my attention to where the bullet had grazed his shoulder. The shirt he was wearing over his Gear harness was long-sleeved and gauzy; I tore it apart with no hesitation, revealing the ripped skin beneath.

"Shit..." I cursed; the edges of the skin and the bloody discharge were almost black. "What the fuck?" It was a lot deeper than he would have let us believe.

"Sorry..."

His apology was so soft that I almost didn't hear it. Unsure of how to respond, I only grunted.

"Where the fuck is that brat with the alcohol?"

"Sir!"

I glanced up in relief; one of the Military Police kids was back, a bottle of liquor clutched to his chest. I took it, glanced at the label- a quality brew; it would do nicely -and twisted the top off.

"Even for someone who doesn't feel pain, this'll probably sting," I warned, and Armin nodded briefly. He didn't make a sound, but his head did tip back as I poured the alcohol across first his shoulder wound, then used his torn shirt and more of the vodka to wash out the hole in his hip. The second MP had returned, by then, with clean bandages, and I wrapped Armin's wounds as tightly as I could without cutting off the circulation.

"There..." I murmured, somewhat satisfied with myself. "Now try not to get yourself shot again."

"Thank you, Corporal." He sounded sincere, and I noticed that his eyes were closed. "I-"

"Armin!"

The door to the Military Police hallways burst open, revealing a flustered Jean Kirstein. Armin bounded instantly up, just as Marco Bodt appeared behind the other young MP.

"What?" Armin demanded, and Jean shook his head, wheezing slightly as he tried to speak.

"The... the Walls...! Armin, the Walls!"

"What about the Walls?!" the blonde demanded.

Marco was the one who answered him, his voice a tremulous wail. "Wall Rose is gone! It's gone, Armin, its just _gone_!!"

Armin's jaw dropped, and I felt my flesh crawl with flames. "The Wall is... _gone_?" the blonde repeated numbly, and they both nodded. Before either of them could gather themselves to speak again, a white-haired woman in a Garrison jacket pushed her way forward.

"I hear that you're the one in charge now, Cadet Arlert?" she asked sorely, and I took a moment to be glad that I wasn't Armin's only grudging ally.

Armin nodded. "What is all this about the Wall, Miss Rico?"

"We were patrolling the top of Rose, as per usual," the woman began, "when the stones started to tremble. We hardly had time to do anything at all before they began to... they began to..." the color was draining steadily from her face, "... dissolve. It... the molten stone began swallowing soldiers... whole chasms of it opened within... within seconds."

She gave herself a shake, seemingly to steady herself. "Commander Pixis knew about your coup, so he sent myself and the rest of the 1st Squadron to you for help; maybe he hoped that you would know _why_ the Walls are dissolving. He stayed behind to try to get as many of the less-skilled soldiers off the Wall as he could."

"I don't know why," Armin murmured, "but I do know exactly what's been set in motion. Please tell me, Miss Rico: did you see the Wall Titans?"

"'Wall Titans?' What the fuck?" I asked in confusion, but Rico blinked.

"You... knew that there were titans inside the Walls?"

"They're more than _in_ the Walls," Armin told her, "they _are_ the Walls. Wall Rose isn't just dissolving; its _waking up_."

I wanted to ask him what the _fuck_ he meant, but he turned to me before I could. "Corporal, I'll answer any questions you have shortly. For now, we have a crisis of unprecedented proportions on our hands. Wall Rose has fallen, and there's absolutely nothing we can do in regards to it. Miss Rico, please tell the following to Commander Pixis: 'The Capitol is under my control; get as many civilians as you can inside Sina, and then initiate a full evacuation of Garrison forces. Wall Rose has fallen, and-"

"Commander Pixis is dead." Rico choked it out, cutting Armin off. "I saw the Wall swallow him."

Armin instantly bowed his head. "I'm so sorry. Commander Pixis was a good man and a truly courageous soldier. His loss is a great blow to humanity."

I wondered if he was sincere, or if he was just playing at the woman’s feelings. Rico herself simply nodded, seeming to share my skepticism.

"I appreciate those words, Armin Arlert, empty though they may be." She paused, looking uncomfortable, but then sighed and spoke again. "Commander Pixis told me... to throw the Garrison's chips in with you. He said that you... were to be obeyed, should anything happen to him."

Armin stiffened with apparent surprise, but recovered himself quickly. "In that case, please... um..." He looked around; he looked genuinely distressed for a moment, but then pointed at the Kirstein boy. "Jean! I'm putting you in charge of the Garrison!"

Running right over the boy's spluttered objection, he continued. "Get as many civilians as you can inside Wall Sina. Don't worry about the long-term; we'll deal with that soon enough. Miss Rico and the Garrison will lend you as much manpower as they can, isn't that correct, Miss Rico?" 

The woman nodded shortly, shooting Jean an uncertain glance before saluting for Armin. Armin turned to Bodt.

"Marco, if you'd like to go with Jean, so be it."

"Thank you," the freckled boy murmured, although his eyes were glazed with panic. He saluted with his left hand. 

“Just get as many people to safety as you can,” Armin instructed. “Go about it however you'd like, but do what you can _quickly_ ; when it seems a lost cause, get yourselves to safety, too. The dungeon of the Survey Corps’ Headquarters is still probably the most secure place, despite the fact that it’s within Wall Rose.” Then he took a deep breath; saluted. “Stay safe.” 

The three of them all nodded, and then took off down the Military Police hallway. Then Armin turned to me.

"Corporal, you and I are going to find the rest of the Survey Corps."

I felt a shudder of relief. "Fucking finally..." I murmured, and then ducked after Amin back into the network of service hallways. "But what about the coup that means oh-so much to you?"

"That's secondary," Armin said shortly. "The collapse of Wall Rose has to be the Ape's doing, although I have no idea why it acted now. There's nothing to say that the same thing won't happen to Wall Sina."

My blood went cold. "You're _shitting_ me."

Armin shot me a baleful glance. "I am not, as you so crudely put it, 'shitting you.' I suspect that Wall Sina will soon fall- more accurately, dissolve -as Wall Rose just did." 

We emerged into the garden behind the castle; there were Military Policemen racing in every direction as if looking for their misplaced heads. Marlo skidded up to us a moment later, his face flushed and his eyes wide.

"Armin, Wall Rose-!"

"I've heard," the blonde said curtly. "I've placed Jean in charge of civilian evac.- find Hitch and rendezvous with him and the Garrison."

"N-Nile Dawk is gone!" Marlo blurted out. "He was gone before I reached his office!"

Armin narrowed his eyes, then nodded. "Alright, duly noted. It's of no concern right now, though. Find Hitch, and then Jean- I'm going to track down the Survey Corps. Keep yourselves safe until I return- that's an order."

"Y-Yes, Sir!" Marlo stammered, looking just as surprised as I felt. Then he saluted; Armin returned the gesture, and then we parted ways.

"... Why did you give that last order?" I had to ask it. Armin looked over at me, unsurprised.

"Because I don't honestly think they'll be alive when I get back- I don't think that _anyone_ will be alive, _if_ I ever get back. So... if I can take this last opportunity to tell them to survive, I have to take it."

I stopped dead. "You don't think they'll be alive when you get back?" I echoed, feeling my stomach grow heavy with icy dread. "You think everyone will be dead?"

"I think that it's only a matter of time before Wall Sina goes the way of Rose," he replied. "After that, the death toll will be immeasurable. I haven't lost hope for humanity as a whole, but the chances of any one person living through this are slim."

Dozens of faces flashed through my mind- the people that I cared about; those that I held dear; the ones I had given up so much to protect. We were setting off in search of most of them- those of the Survey Corps. But one face lingered.

"There's someone I need to find, then."

"Levi!!" Armin shouted after me as I took off, headless of the fact that he had no 3D Gear with which to follow me. "Corporal! Get back here! Levi... Levi you short-sighted, self-important...!” 

I heard his fading words, and they might have been true; I couldn't afford to wait for him, though. I would reunite with the Survey Corps on my own, so I would probably run into him again; I knew he would find a way to reach them. There was someone I desperately needed collect, before all hell broke loose. Armin was secondary; for all his worth to humanity as a whole, I held my own comrades far more dear. 

The entrance to the Underground was swarming when I got there, both with people seeking refuge beneath the streets or those flooding Aboveground to attempt to take advantage of the chaos in some way. I slipped down easily; unnoticed. I had forgotten the way home, during my years away, but my body remembered it perfectly. I let the undercurrent of memory guide me as I flitted through the streets, coming at last to a halt in front of our old haunt. I hoped that he would still be there.

"Farlan!! Farlan, its me! Get your ass out here!"

I felt a momentary stab of panic when he didn't answer; what if he had moved, what if he was dead? But then the door opened, just a crack.

"What do you want?"

"We have to get moving!" I said urgently, trying to shove the door open wider; it didn't budge. "Farlan, listen to me! We-!"

"After all these years, you have the _audacity_ to show up and give me orders?!" my old friend snarled, and I flinched. I tried to block out the pain with anger.

"Shit, Farlan, we don't have time for this! Now get-!"

"Just shut up, Levi!" the thug screamed, slamming the door shut once again. "You left me down here once- chased me out of the Survey Corps and left me! Just leave me here forever! This isn't your world anymore, but its still mine!"

"Farlan, the Walls are coming down!!" I screamed, and there was a sudden silence behind the door. "I came to get you for the same reason I left you down here those years ago- because I fucking _care_!!"

The door swung wide; his hair was filthy, matted, and his eyes had dark circles beneath them. "The Walls?" he asked breathily, and I nodded.

"Wall Rose is gone, and its only a matter of time before Sina-"

"What the hell did you _do_ , Levi?!" he screamed at me, and I flinched back.

"'Me?'" I growled. "What did _I_ do? Nothing!"

"That's right, nothing!!" Farlan screamed. "You tell me the Walls are coming down?! Almost ten years ago you swore to me that you'd keep the Walls safe- that you'd make the whole world safe for us! Damn right you've done nothing, you _bastard_! The only thing _you’ve_ done is broken your promise to _her_!!"

I felt my heart itself crack, and winced back. I had broken my promise to her- I had broken my last promise to her. The very last words Isabel Magnolia had ever heard, bleeding out from the titan bite that had shattered her ribcage, had been _lies_.

"Farlan, I..." I began, but grit my teeth and looked down. There was nothing I could possibly say. I hadn’t been in time to save her, and I hadn’t even been able to keep my promise. He waited, though, for me to say something anyway. "... A lot of people are going to die because I couldn't keep that promise, Farlan. I only want to make sure, now, that you aren't one of them."

I expected him to spit more justified venom at me, or perhaps strike me for having the gall to reappear in his life at such a moment, and so I looked down. But the next thing I felt was neither the sting of words or the sting of a punch.

I felt his arms around me.

"But you kept your promise to me," Farlan Church grunted, squeezing me tight enough to make my bones ache with the pressure. "You came back for me, at least."

And I nearly began to cry. I didn't, though, simply returned his embrace and choked on my apology.

He had a stash of gas, and we each took several extra canisters. Then we fled through the streets of the Underground just like in the old days, with him at my right shoulder. He didn't ask for an explanation, simply followed me. I was pleased that his skills with Maneuver Gear had only improved.

"Outside the Walls is now safer than Inside," I said softly; just because he hadn't asked for information didn't mean I wouldn't give it voluntarily. "The titans will be attracted to the concentration of humans within the rubble; after Sina falls, there will be nowhere left to hide. The Survey Corps and a boy named Armin Arlert hold the best chances at survival; we'll try to track them down."

Farlan nodded. "Alright." We landed briefly on a roof, taking stock of the main entrance to the Underground. It was swamped with people, most of them rushing in to seek refuge from the titans and the chaos of Above. "We'd be better off using the Sewer Rout."

I wrinkled my nose, but nodded. "You're right. Let's go."

We backtracked to the narrow, reeking hole that some used for more covert trips Aboveground. It was impossible to traverse without Maneuver Gear, and so my old gang had had fairly exclusive use of it for some time. I grimaced as I thought of the filth that was about to get smeared across my skin and clothes.

"Levi!"

My whole body went rigid as I heard my name; Farlan spun, but I didn't bother to. If I had turned, he would have seen the panic in my face; I didn't want that.

"What the fuck do _you_ want, Kenny?"

I heard his approaching footsteps. "The same as everyone, Levi- I want to live."

"I don't think I'll be much help there," I growled, and he chuckled. "Was it really you that Reiss was talking about, or is this just a coincidence?"

"I did join the Military Police for a while," Kenny replied, "after you left me for _dead_. But..." he laughed again, "shall we just let bygones be bygones, Levi? We both have something significant to gain from an alliance, now."

"What the _fuck_ would I have to gain from an alliance with the likes of _you_?" I asked, still not turning.

"Your little blonde friend seemed awfully desperate for the answers to certain questions."

"First off, I asked how it could benefit _me_ , not some little brat I don't even like," I retorted. "Secondly, I would rather drown in my own _shit_ than put up with your _stench_ for so much as five minutes."

"Levi..." Kenny's voice was unpleasantly appealing. "You're a hotheaded little shit, but surely even you aren't stupid enough to turn down my offer of information and help? People like us, we have to stick together in a world like this."

"Levi, what's going on?" Farlan asked, but I waved him off.

"Get lost, Kenny."

And then, the click of a gun being cocked.

"I'm so sorry you feel like that, Levi. But I'm not going to be stuck inside these crumbling Walls.

"You're taking me with you, or _no one_ is going _anywhere_."

I felt my throat tighten and cursed softly; felt Farlan's eyes boring into my skull. Slowly, painfully, I lowered my head.

"Fine. Just don't slow us down."

I took off immediately; Farlan, used to reading my movements, did the same. I was hoping that Kenny might falter, but he kept pace with us easily despite having a gun in his hand. When I spared a glance back at him, I noticed that he was still holding one- no, two guns. That would bear a closer look, I decided, when we slowed.

The three of us emerged Aboveground into a literal shitstorm. There were people everywhere, nobles and refugees alike, swarming like ants in an overturned nest. I dodged between them easily; Farlan was a bit rusty, but he stayed at my side. And Kenny, of course, kept pace.

"Corporal Levi!!"

I groaned softly; as if I didn't have enough headaches. With any luck, I thought, as Armin Arlert pulled up beside me, he and Kenny would keep one another busy and out of _my_ hair.

"Hello again, Mushroom Head."

He huffed. "It was rude of you to leave me behind like that." He had somehow gotten his hands on a set of Gear; he had discarded his gauzy blouse and torn his skirt at the knee, leaving him in a durable sleeveless shirt and stury leggings. 

"I had faith you'd be able to catch up."

I had to snort when he scowled at me. "Fine time you pick to develop some faith in me."

"I don't believe we've been properly introduced," Kenny purred slimily, pulling up between Armin and I. "I'm Kenny Ackerman."

 _Ackerman…_ Armin almost ran into a tree; I wondered if Kenny noticed. _So that’s your last name… like that girl… Mikasa…_ The blonde's expression, however, remained even despite his shock. I was suddenly tremendously glad that I had had the forethought to confide in Armin when I had first heard Kenny's name, back in Lord Reiss' chamber; at least the kid had some sort of idea what he was dealing with.

"I'm Armin Arlert," he introduced himself. He kept glancing at the same thing I was staring at, now that Kenny had given us the chance- a modified set of Maneuver Gear that sported guns instead of blades.

"So pleased to make your acquaintance," Kenny said, dipping his head. He gave Armin a once-over, taking in his crudely ripped skirt. "You handle your Gear well, for a brothel girl."

Armin did _not_ look amused, and I snorted again. "Your attempts at humor are _not_ appreciated," he said flatly. "This is not the time."

Kenny dipped his head. "My apologies, Miss," he said, and I felt a flare of amusement despite myself. Armin only looked more irritated.

"Levi, who is this?" Farlan asked; he knew very well who Kenny was, so I assumed he was referring to Armin.

"Armin Arlert, the mushroom-headed little brat responsible for bringing down the Walls."

Armin gave me a baleful look. "I don't even know what caused that," he pointed out, and I grunted.

"Doesn't change the fact that its your fault."

He didn't contradict me.

"Would you like to know why that happened?"

Armin glanced at Kenny with interest. "What?"

"I know lots of things you'd like to- including what caused the Walls to fall," the man said calmly, and I felt a growl rise in my throat. My visceral disgust and offense only grew worse when I noticed Armin's expression- his eyes were glinting feverishly, and he was practically drooling.

"Tell me."

"I will once we're clear of Wall Rose," Kenny said simply. "And once we rendezvous safely with the Survey Corps, I'll tell you what the Ape actually is."

Armin was definitely salivating; it was terribly unbecoming. "Such a useful acquaintance you have, Corporal Levi."

"He could be lying through his teeth," I pointed out, and Armin cast me a derisive look.

"You don't think I'm aware of that, Corporal? I don't trust him; I'm simply following a promising lead."

I grunted; no matter what he said, the situation still unnerved me. We reached Wall Sina within the next few moments of silent flight, and Armin led us up its side. We were moving against the current; people were flooding into Sina, but very few were headed toward Rose... or where Rose used to be. Looking outward, I could see only the massive forms of titans, many Colossal Class, and the distant form of Wall Maria beyond that.

Armin paused at the top of Sina, looking first one way and then the other; his gaze lingered on the Kirstein boy, some distance to our right, shouting orders and gesticulating wildly.

"Armin!"

All four of us looked over as Rico and a young Garrison man ran toward us. Armin saluted.

"Miss Rico? Ian? What is it?"

"A strange titan has been sighted inside Wall Rose!" the man- Ian? -said. "It appears to be some sort of... Beast!"

The blood drained from Armin's face. "No..."

He staggered suddenly, and I lurched reflexively to support him. But he caught himself before I could, coughing slightly as he drew the breath to speak.

"No one is to go near it; no one is to engage it. Is that understood?"

Ian and Rico both hesitated; I could tell they were thinking, as I was, about all the civilians who were bound to die because of the order.

But Armin wasn't going to waver, apparently, and barked with surprising ferocity, "Is that understood?!"

Rico jumped; Ian took a startled step back. But then the girl nodded; saluted.

"Very well."

Nodding briskly, Armin took off down the Wall, seemingly without regard for whether or not we followed. Farlan was staring in shock after him; I touched his shoulder gently, and he followed as I descended. Kenny deliberately caught up with Armin, and I saw him say something to the blonde. Armin, to my muted delight, shook his head brushed Kenny off.

It went against everything inside me to run; the air around us was filled to bursting with screams and blood, and everywhere I looked it was a nightmarish scene of war and death. But there was very little I could do, even if I did stop and engage. The hell only intensified as we made our way farther into what had been Wall Rose, and I saw Farlan begin to shake violently. He kept moving, though; kept pace.

Armin paused suddenly, halting on a roof and turning to look to our right. I stopped beside him, hesitating to follow his gaze but undeniably curious. He obviously wanted me to see it, too, because he pointed.

"There it is- humanity's worst enemy."

I saw, in the distance, a creature unlike any titan I had ever faced. It stood at approximately 17 meters, years of training told me, and it was covered in a grey coat of hair. As we watched, it reached out one unnaturally long arm and snatched up a woman. It held her, as if for examination, watching as she struggled.

"What... is that...?" Farlan breathed. Armin's eyes were wide and hollow as he answered, his voice steady but oddly frail.

"The Ape Titan."

And then the creature's gaze was on us. I felt my hair stand on end and my heart jump into my throat- panic and fear like I hadn't felt in years. Without warning, it flung the woman at us, her body smashing into the roof just below us. Armin didn't move, and so neither did I.

"Just try it!!" he screamed suddenly, making my heart skip. Farlan actually stumbled back, and Kenny gave him a thoughtful look. Taking a step forward, he continued. "We'll never submit to the likes of you!! Just try to destroy what I've fought so hard for- I won't let you!!"

He was panting by the time he finished; his shoulders were trembling. The Ape held his gaze, it seemed, and I wondered suddenly how intelligent the beast was.

And then, it screamed.

I clapped my hands over my ears; Farlan crumpled into a crouch, cradling his head between his knees. Even Kenny winced back and covered his ears.

Armin didn't move, not one muscle.

There was a tremendous rumbling in the wake of the Scream, and then the Ape was simply staring at us again, waiting. It motioned with one long arm toward Sina, and I felt my stomach tighten with dread.

"Come on," Armin whispered, pulling gently at the wrist of my sleeve. He wasn't looking, deliberately, but I couldn't take my eyes off of it- off of Sina, bubbling and beginning to dissolve, revealing the titans within. Farlan choked on a sob.

 _It's over... we have nowhere left to hide…_

"There's no time for mourning, Corporal." Armin voice wasn't cold, but instead strangely emotional. "If we want to save anyone, we have to get moving."

He seemed like a child- the child that he was -pulling gently but insistently at my sleeve. And so I turned, placing my free hand briefly on Farlan's shoulder, and followed Armin Arlert as he took off once again.

We slowly left the screams and carnage behind. Armin led us to a pile of rubble from Wall Rose, landing at the top of it and motioning to Kenny.

"I am very interested in what you have to tell me, but it can wait." I was surprised by his patience; a few moments ago he had been drooling at the thought of Kenny's information. "Right now, all of us need to stay alert; we have to find the Survey Corps, and quickly."

"Whatever," Kenny replied with a shrug. "I'll just tell you this, then: when the king died, the Ape sensed it. His grief is what brought the Walls down."

Armin looked momentarily interested, but then shook his head and looked away. "I don't have the time to think about that, right now..." he murmured. "I have to keep my mind on the present."

 _His... grief...?_ Kenny did know how to drop a damn tantalizing tidbit. Not only had he assigned the Ape a gender, but human emotions. I glanced at Armin, knowing that he must realize the significance of Kenny's cryptic words.

_But if the Ape really is a human, like the other titans..._

_... who the hell is..._ he _?_

Armin led us down the wreaked Wall and out into Maria; I took comfort in the feeling of Farlan at my side, after being separated for so long. But my heart was sore and yearning for those of the Survey Corps, those we were going in search of, the pain in my chest so intense that I almost needed to scream to vent it.

_Erwin... Hanji... Mike..._

_... Petra._

_I'm coming. Please, don't be dead. Keep yourselves alive until I get there. Please._

... ... ...

Sundown was always a welcome thing on expeditions, but I had never been so desperate for it to come as I was that day. The titans gave us no rest- it was first one attack and then another, with seemingly heartbeats between them. I was shaking with exhaustion, and I could tell that Farlan was worse-off than I. Although Armin Arlert, true to form, didn't show any physical signs of fatigue, his eyes were so dull they were almost gray, and he hadn't uttered a single word in hours.

"Let's find somewhere to stop for the night," I finally said, gruffly. "We need to rest, and find something to eat."

Farlan nodded, his face a mask of relief, and neither Kenny nor Armin contradicted us. So I took the lead away from Armin, guiding our little group toward a copse of trees. It didn't take long to find a quick-flowing stream to settle by, and we all paused to drink. I cupped my hands, as did Farlan and Kenny; Armin, however, dipped his head and drank directly from the water. He ducked completely under its surface for a moment, emerging with a shake of his head.

"Do any of you brats know how to fish?" Kenny asked, motioning to the fat silver fish swimming by. I knew how to fish with a net, as did Farlan, but we didn't exactly have one at our fingertips.

Before the two of us could say as much, there was a soft _splash_ from a bit farther downstream. I looked over just in time to see the water settle where something large had entered it, and I realized that Armin had vanished, though his Gear was still on the bank.

There was dead silence as we all waited for him to surface; I didn’t know for certain that the kid could even swim. I wondered if slipping into the water might have been an accident; if he was drowning. Or perhaps he had just underestimated his own limits, and been surprised to find that he lacked the strength to get back above water. After what seemed like an eternity I stood, fully prepared to dive in after the stupid little brat.

And then he broke the surface, considerably farther downstream... with a silvery fish hanging by its tail from his mouth. He paddled- dog-paddled, clumsily -back toward the shore, and before I knew what I was doing I was racing to meet him. As I drew nearer I noticed how much of a strain it was for him to fight the current; for every inch he gained toward the bank, it dragged him two inches farther downstream. So, again before I could fight the urge, I splashed into the shallows of the stream and reached out, grabbing for him and managing to snag the Gear strap on his shoulder.

The eyes he looked up at me with were nothing short of heartbreaking- hazy with exhaustion, grateful to the point of pitiful, filled with river water or tears, pleading for rest. My feet slipped on the stones beneath me, but I refused to fall as I helped him back to the bank, dragging him along as he floundered in the water.

Farlan and Kenny had reached us by the time I hauled both our sodden corpses onto the shore. I sat back heavily, with a clanking of Gear, panting and shaking my head furiously to rid it of water. Armin had already been on his hands and knees when we had made it onto the bank, and he didn't rise for a long moment. But when he did, he took the fish from his mouth and held it out- wordless, as he had been all evening.

"Damn, where did you learn to do that?" Farlan asked in amazement, and Armin shook his head. I watched in confusion as he held up one hand, as if to ward off Farlan's question, and then thrust the fish at me. I took it, and then watched as he used his now-free hand to hit himself in the chest several times. Only then did he begin to cough and hack, spitting up mossy water. And only after he had done that did he attempt to speak.

"... I-I'm sorry..." His voice was a hoarse whisper. "My... body won't try to rid itself of water… if I don't... Excuse me for a moment..." He limped off behind the tree line, then, and I inched casually to the side so that I could keep him within sight. It was half a morbid curiosity, I'll admit, but I was also mildly concerned that he would simply collapse and die on us if I let him out of my sight.

He slumped to his knees; jammed two fingers into the back of his throat. I watched as he tried twice more before he finally got the desired result, vomiting up mouthfuls of water. Then I backed up, exchanging a glance with a very confused Farlan, and waited patiently for him to return.

When Armin emerged from behind the trees again, he looked to be in a bit better shape. He trudged over to us, and then answered Farlan's question.

"There was a canal near our home in Shiganshina," he explained as he reattached his Gear, his voice still raspy. "During the height of the famine after the Wall fell, fish were one of the only resources left. But many people had fallen to cannibalism, by that time, and a lot of them stalked the canal, meaning that if you fished from the bank, _you_ became the prey. So a lot of us- well, the few of us that were left -learned to fish underwater."

Farlan looked duly impressed; I had to swallow a mouthful of bile at the thought. Armin Arlert was not so twisted and damaged for no reason; he had gone through hell, an even worse hell than I had during my childhood. We had been hungry; we had never resorted to cannibalism.

"You're an impressive little brat," Kenny put in, slamming one of his hands into the back of Armin's head; knotting his fingers in the boy's blonde hair in an aggressively affectionate motion. Armin's eyes spun with dizziness at the impact, and I felt a growl rise in my throat.

"Hands off the mushroom-head, Kenny." The words were more aggressive than I had meant, and I took a step forward so that my posture matched them. Armin's gaze flashed to me, surprise and gratitude dancing in his bleary eyes.

Kenny, for his part, looked up at me in amusement. "Growing a little protective streak, are we, Levi?"

I felt my eyebrows twitch, my lip curling in the beginnings of a snarl. "Don't... touch him, Kenny," I growled. I put one hand on the hilt of my blade, drawing it slightly.

The bastard laughed at me- shook Armin, making the boy's eyes spin again and my shoulders twitch with the urge to draw my blade.

"I didn't raise you to be such a soft-hearted fool."

"That kid is our only hope for survival," I snarled, "and he's on his last legs. You kill him, and you've killed us all." It was partially the truth. However, when I looked at Armin Arlert... I no longer saw _just_ humanity's last hope, entrusted to me by Erwin. I saw a child- a child who was suffering pain worse than death with every breath he took; every word he spoke. 

Suddenly, I _needed_ to protect him- for more than the sake of following orders.

"Get your hands off him, Kenny. I'll slice them both off at the wrists if you don't."

Casually, almost mockingly, Kenny pulled out one of his guns and pointed it straight at me. I felt my blood go cold; he still hadn't released Armin.

"And I'll shoot you before you can get anywhere near me, _brat_."

I looked at Armin; the kid looked a single breath away from passing out. Then I looked at the gun; Kenny's finger on the trigger. And, in that instant, I didn't know what to do. I felt myself begin to waver; felt the hand that held my blade begin to twitch- with weakness, exhaustion, adrenaline and panic.

And then Farlan appeared.

With a soft cry, he drove a dagger into Kenny Ackerman's right shoulder, the hand that held his gun. The man didn't cry out, but the look on his face was one of utter pain and shock. He dropped the gun but not Armin, hissing angrily and lashing out with his free hand. His fist connected with Farlan's head, but my friend dug his feet into the muddy bank and didn't go down, twisting the knife and at last dragging a coarse shout from Kenny Ackerman. He released Armin's hair- the blonde hit the ground like a deadweight.

With both his hands free, Kenny whipped around and grabbed for Farlan; that at last got _me_ moving, and I lurched forward, slamming headlong into the bastard and taking a swing at his ugly face. It felt far better than I would have liked to admit, feeling my fist slam into his nose with a satisfying _crack_. Farlan drew his knife out and stabbed again, this time aiming for Kenny's chest; the man dodged, but just barely, grabbing for his Maneuver Gear as he back-peddled.

Then he had both his guns pointed at us, and I suddenly realized that we might not have the upper hand after all. His face a mask of anger, Kenny leveled both barrels directly at me; I knew that I had little chance of dodging.

The single gunshot was deafening; I ducked instinctively, and Farlan rolled to the side. But it was Kenny who cried out, dropping what was left of one of his guns. The barrel, it seemed, had been blown clean off. I spun to see Armin, up and in a crouch, pistol in hand and pointed at Kenny.

No one exchanged any words. Kenny's fury was palpable as he glared first at the blonde, then at Farlan, and finally at me. But he knew that, even if he managed to kill one of us, he would be dead before he could fire _three_ bullets from his one remaining gun. And so he simply backed up; groped for his Gear controls, and took off through the trees. I was considering following when Farlan shouted my name; I turned, and saw him crouched beside Armin. The boy had collapsed, his eyes closed as he lay still on the muddy bank.

"Shit..." I muttered. I sheathed my blade and ran back to where they were, crouching down. "Shit! Armin! Damnit, brat!" I shook him by the shoulder. "Armin!"

His eyelids fluttered, and then he locked a watery gaze on me. Glancing briefly at Farlan, he struggled up into a sitting position, one hand to his head.

"I'm... sorry..." he murmured. "I... I probably should have killed him, but..."

"Shut up," I said, gruffly but not unkindly. Glancing up at the sun- just setting -I shook my head. "We have to find cover. Farlan, grab that fish; we still need to eat."

Farlan nodded, moving to retrieve the silver fish from where I had dropped it. Armin began to struggle to his feet, but I scooped him up before he could.

"Don't even try," I grunted, hefting him slightly and adjusting my grip on his frail body. "You don't have the strength and you fucking know it."

He didn't argue with me as I had expected him to. Instead, he let out a soft sigh and rested his head against my chest, closing his bleary eyes. That alone was enough to lend strength to the fear slowly tightening around my chest.

We found a sheltered spot a ways from the stream; I took Armin up a tree, settling him securely in a hollow in the trunk. I began to remove his Gear, thinking he might rest more comfortably, but he stopped me, and I wordlessly obeyed. Then I returned to the ground to help Farlan cook the fish. We didn't speak at first, although I could feel his questions thick in the air. I appreciated his consideration, and eventually decided that some answers were the least he deserved.

"Who is Armin Arlert?" was the first question he asked, after I had given him permission.

I sighed. "Armin... is a fucked up little brat," I began, "but he's also the only shot we have at survival, even though he's the one who caused this whole shitstorm."

"... And why is that?" Farlan prompted.

"Because he fucking knows," I snapped, "how to defeat the titans!" My irritation evaporated quickly as my own words sunk in. "... But we have to make sure he gets back to the Survey Corps alive."

Farlan glanced up at the tree. "He... seems halfway dead already," he said softly, and I grimaced.

"Kid doesn't know how to fucking take care of himself." I kept my gaze locked on the flames. "... Spends too much time taking care of everyone else."

When the fish was cooked through, we made our way back up into the tree; Armin was right where I had left him, his eyes closed. But he looked up as we drew near, his gaze a bit clearer and more focused than it had been. 

"Titans?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"Not yet." I sat down on the branch in front of him, and Farlan on the next one over. I cut strips from the fish, and handed them to Armin. "Eat."

The blonde shook his head. "I'm just tired, Corporal."

"You've gotta fucking eat something," I growled, worry making my heart begin to race. I held out the strips more insistently. "Don't make me cram the damn fish down your throat."

A ghost of a smile came to Armin's face, and he accepted the food. "Thank you, Corporal," he said wearily, and ate slowly. I passed a large chunk of the fish over to Farlan, who tucked in eagerly. My own stomach was demanding food, churning with hunger, but I forced myself to shave off more tiny pieces for Armin, first. The kid ate slowly, but I was glad to see each movement of his throat as he swallowed.

_If I can just keep him alive until we reach the Survey Corps... then all this won't have been for nothing. All the people dying because the Walls have come down... their deaths won't be for nothing if I can just get this kid to the Survey Corps. Because then... if I can just keep him alive..._

_... humanity will win._

I kept cutting easily-managed strips from the fish until Armin turned his head away and refused to take more, even when I offered them repeatedly. Only then did I sink my teeth into what was left of the scaly creature, grimacing at how unsanitary it must be but too desperately hungry to stop. Once I had eaten my fill, I handed the rest to Farlan; we passed it back and forth until every scrap of meat was gone, both of us knowing that food was not to be wasted, regardless of the setting.

"We should keep moving," Armin said softly. "Especially since the titans are lying dormant for the night."

"Think you can manage, brat?" I asked, and he nodded. He got to his feet, then, cracking his neck and adjusting his belt.

"I gotta take a piss before we go anywhere," Farlan muttered, and I grunted agreement. Armin, after a moment, nodded; Farlan and I weren't shy, but the brat slipped down the trunk of the tree and vanished around the other side of it. When he returned, I noticed that he had taken the opportunity to rid himself of the last of his disguise, the torn skirt that his belt had been holding in place. There was a patch of fresh blood over the bullet wound on his hip, and I motioned to it.

"You tore it open."

Armin shrugged. "Such things are unavoidable. It won't kill me."

"One day, something will," I said, before I could think it through. "And you won't even see it coming."

The boy was silent for a moment, and slowly closed his eyes. "... I'll see it coming, Corporal," he said, after a moment, and then shook his head slowly. "Let's go. Time is a commodity none of us can afford to waste."

I followed him without hesitation, and Farlan I. Armin led us steadily south, although the stars and the moon were obscured by patchy clouds. He would occasionally drift off his southward path when the sky went completely dark, and then correct himself when the stars became visible again. But it was hard to guess at where the Survey Corps had gone, and there seemed to be danger hidden in every shadow. I knew that Armin wasn't assuming every titan in existence was dormant, and I hoped that he hadn't forgotten about the wild card Kenny Ackerman.

A tree loomed suddenly out of the darkness, and I barely managed to avoid slamming into it headfirst. I realized, attempting to calm my heartbeat, just how blind we were. And suddenly every shadow didn't just have the potential to hide a titan- suddenly every shadow _was_ a titan, or perhaps Kenny aiming his gun straight at my head.

Armin slowed ahead of me, and I landed accordingly. The boy's eyes were almost alarmingly dilated, his brow furrowed. I shifted uneasily, wondering why we had stopped.

"Why have we stopped?!" Farlan voiced my question, but Armin shushed him with one hand. He tapped his ear, and I strained to hear whatever had captured his attention. I couldn't make out anything at all, so I watched Armin closely for the first sign of trouble. Farlan, seeing that I had fallen still and silent, did the same.

Armin's pupils contracted suddenly, and he sprang backwards. The cloud cover shifted just slightly, then, plunging us into total darkness, and an instant later I heard it- the gunshot, and the whistle of a tiny object flying through the air.

_Kenny...!!_

I had known that he wouldn’t stay hidden for long. I hit the ground with enough force to jar my bones, and heard Farlan give a pained _oof_ as he did the same. For a dizzying moment I couldn't find him _or_ Armin in the darkness, but a soft scuffling of feet told me that the blonde had taken off back the way we had come. I followed, and heard Farlan fall in beside me. Part of me longed to take to the trees, but I knew that it would be suicidal; if the lack of visibility didn't lead to a fatal error, the noise of it would give Kenny all he needed to aim. As it was, the clanking of our Gear was damning enough. 

Again there was a bang; I dove to the ground, somersaulting forward and feeling my Gear detach automatically and clatter out behind me. The sound echoed strangely to my right, and I realized that one of my comrades must have also lost their Gear in a similar dodge. I sprang back to my feet, clipping my shoulder on a tree trunk and cursing under my breath as I stumbled.

And then the moon reappeared, bathing the forest in silvery light. I ducked instantly behind a tree, hearing a bullet ricochet off the wood an inch from my head. I heard the sound of Maneuver Gear, and saw Farlan take to the trees several feet to my right. _So Armin was the one who lost his Gear, too…_ I couldn't see Kenny.

Armin caught my eye, behind the tree next to me, signaling to fall farther back. I motioned to Farlan, still up in his tree, and Armin shook his head. I felt unease spike my blood; was Armin telling me to leave him? I couldn't do that; wouldn't do that. Armin, apparently seeing the thought in my eyes, shook his head again and made a negative motion with his hands.

 _Then what?!_ I mouthed angrily. Armin shook his head again, growing more and more agitated.

"Come out, little mousies. You can't hide forever."

Kenny's voice chilled me to the bone, and Armin swore visibly. I saw that he had his gun out, but it was shaking almost uncontrollably, despite how he tried to hold it steady with his other hand. I saw him close his eyes briefly, and then drop the weapon. Horror made my chest tighten as I guessed what he would do next.

Armin Arlert stepped out into the open, his hands in the air.

"What is it you want, Kenny?"

"The same as anyone," he replied. "I want to survive. I think that heading for the Shifter Village will grant the best chances, but unfortunately I don't know the way."

"I'll take you there," Armin said easily. "Let Corporal Levi and his companion pursue the Survey Corps, as we have been, and I will take you to the Shifter Village. I agree that they're probably your best bet, and I'm still very interested in the information you have to offer me in return."

I didn't want to risk poking my nose out of my hiding place, but I did anyway. I could just make out Kenny, a shadow standing beside the trunk of a tree. I looked up; Farlan was in the same tree I was hiding behind. Armin's Gear and mine were lying in heaps a bit farther back toward Kenny.

 _Are you... serious, Armin...? Are you telling us to make a break for it? You_ can’t _be serious…_

I heard Farlan shift above me, inching out along his branch. Kenny saw it too, apparently, and fired a warning shot into the boughs above his head.

"Neither of you move," he said softly. He took casual aim at me, and I ducked back. "I thought I taught you, Levi: poke your nose out and you risk losing it."

 _We_ never _should have brought this fucker along...!_ I screamed silently, risking another peek at Armin. _Even if he is trying to tell us to leave him, he has to know that that isn't an option. He'll die, one way or another, if he goes with Kenny._ The kid was shaking like a leaf, and I knew it wasn't from fear, but exhaustion.

"It isn't a bad proposition, Kenny."

My gaze fell on Armin's abandoned gun as he spoke again; it rested on the ground several yards to my right, out of Kenny's sight. But if I moved to grab it, not only did I expose myself, but I risked getting Armin and Farlan shot. Still, I couldn't just sit back and watch the situation unfold.

 _No... Armin is smarter than that. He has something in mind, and he's hoping I'll figure it out._

The thought made me pause, and I glanced between Armin and the gun again. I cursed; complex strategy wasn't supposed to be my job. Erwin always chose the best path, or Armin, and before the two of them...

My head snapped up, finding Farlan among the branches of my tree. He had his eyes closed; he was thinking. I felt relief flood me, accompanied by a familiar trust. Farlan was just as intelligent as Armin; I knew it from experience. He would be able to figure out what the blonde wanted us to do.

No sooner than had I thought so, with conviction, then he made his move. He shot out his cables into the tree right beside Kenny and took off; Armin instantaneously hit the ground, and I provided a third target by lunging for the gun. Kenny gave Farlan his attention first, shooting above his own head once; twice. He missed, and took aim at me instead. But it was too late. I skidded behind Armin's tree, snatching up the gun he had dropped and emerging around the other side, aiming straight at Kenny's head. He had his gun pointed at me, too, and for a moment we were locked in a standoff. 

Then Farlan's blades clanged harshly against wood, sheering off a myriad of branches above Kenny's head. The man gave a shout of surprise and alarm as they clattered down on him, and automatically moved to shield his face. And then, as Farlan's blades snapped and he came to a faltering halt, I took the shot. 

Kenny went flying backwards when the bullet struck his chest. There was no blood, though, and I cursed under my breath as he twisted slightly in the air. He took aim with his gun; I felt my heart stop as he fired.

There was a muted explosion as the motor on one of the discarded sets of Maneuver Gear blew. Metal bits punctured the gas, too, and it spun momentarily; skittered across the ground as the gas escaped, then ran out of fuel and spluttered to a stop. Kenny landed on his feet, springing off into the trees and vanishing almost instantly.

Farlan began to give chase, but I shouted for him to stop; pursuing Kenny would do no good at that point, and we would be separated besides. I walked over to where Armin was picking himself up, and offered my hand; his face was a mask of panic, and he surprised me by actually accepting my help as he pushed himself to his feet. The blonde looked over at the wrecked Gear, then at Farlan, and then back at me.

"I'll go without, of course," he said, before either of us could speak. He held up one hand; it was shaking violently. "I doubt I could effectively operate it, anyway."

I nodded, unable to summon words, and walked calmly over to the intact set of Maneuver Gear. Farlan bounded down beside us as I fixed it into place, and we both swapped out our broken blades for those that were still good in the wrecked set of Gear. Then I held out my arms. Armin nodded, coming forward and letting me pick him up. I shifted the child’s unnaturally light body.

"Let's get into the trees and rest. I doubt Kenny will show his face again tonight. We'll decide how to proceed in the morning."

Farlan nodded, and Armin was no longer awake to argue with me, his head against my chest and his breath alarmingly slow. So that was we did- delay the inevitable, and choose sleep over life.

... ... ...

I was woken by the roar of a titan.

I bolted upright, and Armin beside me. Farlan was already on his feet, the pale dawn light making the scene seem washed out and blurred.

"Two Aberrants, Levi!" he reported, and I got to my feet.

They were monsters- huge and lumbering toward us with unusual speed. I shoved Armin backwards into a hollow in the tree seconds before one of them smashed into the trunk, making every bough shiver. It howled with frustration when we didn't fall, and I shifted my stance to better my balance.

"Do you think we can lose then?" Farlan asked, and I shook my head reluctantly.

"With only two sets of Gear?" I asked incredulously. "We're running low on gas, besides. If we try to outrun a pair of Aberrants, we'll-!" I was cut off as the titan smashed into the tree again, and I was forced to attach my cables to the branch to avoid being knocked off. I growled softly, and then turned back to Farlan. "We have to take them down."

Farlan grunted agreement, and I glanced back at Armin. His eyes were glinting from the shadow of the hollow, and he nodded briefly. Almost as an afterthought, I turned back; fished a broken blade out of the sheath at my hip and stabbed it into the branch a few feet in front of him.

"We'll be right back for you."

"I'll hold you to that, Corporal."

And then Farlan and I were off, both of us targeting the titan closest to the base of the tree. It dodged my strike, but in doing so it allowed Farlan to nick its shoulder. It spun off-balance with a furious roar, and I ricocheted off a tree to finish it.

Then the second titan shrieked; made a grab for Farlan. I twisted in the air, changing direction and swooping back towards my friend. The titan's hand closed around him, and I felt my heart leap into my throat as he gave a strangled cry.

" _Faran!!_ "

I felt my blades score through the titan's wrist, one of them snapping off in its flesh. It didn't drop Farlan, but its grip went lax with the severed muscles severed. I spun back around as it roared, letting myself slip into the familiar, high-speed rotation as I approached the titan again.

And then, another roar; the thud of a massive body against wood...

... and Armin's yelp of surprise.

I couldn't stop my attack if I had wanted to, but I saw it happen out of the corner of my eye: saw Armin jarred free of the tree's hollow as a twenty-meter titan smashed into it. I forced myself to focus, and my aim was true as I gouged out the nape of the titan that held Farlan. But then I landed against a tree trunk, my eyes snapping back to the scene of Armin, shaken from his feet, clinging desperately to the blade that I had left embedded in the branch.

"Armin!"

A third titan appeared, and struck the tree just as I took off to intercede. The blade came loose from the wood and plummeted, along with Armin, straight toward a waiting titan's maw. I heard the sounds of a fourth titan approaching from behind me, and Farlan's cry of alarm, but didn't let myself take my eyes from Armin as he fell. I put on another burst of speed; reached out desperately for his delicate hand, which was stretched up in some last attempt to cling to the world.

His fingers slipped past mine; his descent and my flight both remained uninterrupted. And he fell straight into the titan's mouth; I saw and heard the creature's jaws snap shut. 

His eyes never left me, not until there was a wall of teeth between us. 

Years of experience made sure that I landed solidly, and then I was taking stock of the situation: five titans, now, and Farlan was still on the ground. Armin Arlert became, in that instant, just another comrade whose death I had no time to mourn; not if I wanted to save the living. It was a familiar ache that appeared in my chest, and it was both terrible and easy, as always, to shove down. 

"Farlan!" I called out, motioning to him and trying not to look at the titan that had swallowed the boy. Then I took off, hearing him follow me; I dodged grasping hand after grasping hand, but the titans didn't give chase as we pulled away from them. I still didn't look back; I couldn't look back, for fear of seeing those blue eyes- those crystal clear, horrified blue eyes as he fell. 

"Levi?! Levi, where's Armin?!" 

"Are you injured?" He was alive; he was, therefore, the priority. That was how it always was. The moment you were gone, you were gone. Nothing would be changed by dwelling on it. 

Farlan stopped, and I came to a reluctant halt. "He's still back there, isn't he?!" he demanded, motioning to the battlefield. "Levi, we have to go back!" 

"He's dead," I hissed softly. "I saw him get eaten." 

"We... we have to try, Levi!" Farlan said, beginning to turn, but I grabbed his wrist. 

"Even if he wasn't killed instantly, people can't survive more than a minute or so in a titan's stomach." I knew. I had tried before to cut soldiers out, and gotten only acid burns for my efforts. It had been at least 40-45 seconds since the boy had been swallowed. It wasn't worth dwelling on.

"You're kidding!" Farlan jerked at my hand. "We have to try! Levi, we have to try!"

"He's _dead_!" I snapped finally. "He's just another soldier who didn't make it home! I have to concentrate on getting the _living_ home now, and that means _you_! I can't fucking dwell on the dead if I expect to protect the living, and that means we are _not_ going back just to dig his skeleton out of a titan's god damn stomach!" 

Farlan's face paled, and I suddenly realized that I had just vomited the emotional truth all over him. I looked away, ashamed of my words and of the tears stinging my eyes, desperate not to think about the brat we were leaving behind. 

"But... he isn't just another soldier," Farlan whispered eventually, as if I didn't already know. "You told me that he was the only hope humanity had left."

"He was," I said simply. "And now he's dead. So from now on, we'll just have to make our own hope."

Farlan followed silently when I took off again, but his words rang again and again in my ears. I had failed; even if I made it back to the Survey Corps, I had lost the brat- the one who might have saved us all.

But we couldn't give up. Even if we had lost our last glimmer of hope, we were capable of lighting another spark all our own. _He was working with Hanji... Hanji should have the scientific pieces of his plan. He was working with Erwin... Erwin should have the tactical pieces of his plan. We can salvage it... even if he's dead, we can salvage his plan. Hope_ did not _die with him, just as humanity does not die with the loss of a single soldier._

And it was that, that and the sound of Farlan's breath beside me, that kept my body moving and my eyes dry. For hope could not be allowed to die along with any one soldier, not even if that soldier was Armin Arlert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated if you enjoyed the chapter!! I've put so much work (albeit joyout work) into this fic so far, and it's far from over! So please let me know if you're reading and enjoying- it's a big part of what keeps me going.
> 
> I hope to see you all soon in the next chapter! 
> 
> (I'll post a commentary on this chapter on my tumblr sometime later today, so if you enjoy those, do keep an eye out. ;))


	14. The Importance of Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame Mikasa for the lateness of this chapter. She was a very disagreeable narrator.

_Gazing out at Trost, I found it hard to believe that we needed to be there._

_I blinked back my tears forcefully, pulling my scarf up so that it covered half my face. The whole district smelled like death- smelled like Shiganshina, in the worst days before Armin had dragged the district out of its downward spiral. We had done that, Armin, Eren and I- my family; my precious family. That had been our district, our home._

_And Armin had ripped us away from it to bring us_ here _._

_"Damn... damn him...!" I choked out the curse, pressing my face into my scarf to smother my sobs. "Damn you... Armin...!" He was putting me through this torment; he had gotten Eren bitten in half..._

_... and he was destroying himself._

_"Why...?! If you would just tell me_ why _, then maybe I could understand...!!"_

_"I don't think he wants to burden you."_

_Instantly I was on my feet, my blade out and pressed to Jean Kirstein's throat. He held up his hands, his eyes wide with alarm._

_"Sorry, sorry! I-I didn't mean to startle you!"_

_I snorted, but sheathed my blade. "You shouldn't listen in on people's private murmurings," I said softly, pulling my scarf up over my lower face. "I've killed people for less, you know. I've killed people for_ looking _at me or my boys in the wrong way. I'm a bit surprised that I didn't take your head off just now."_

_To my increased surprise, the boy smiled at me. "I'm... I'm glad you didn't," he said weakly, and I almost laughed._

_"Leave then, before I decide to after all." I sat back down._

_Jean didn't listen to me. Instead he shuffled awkwardly for a moment, then sat beside me. There was a fair distance between us, I decided, so I let him be._

_"... I know what I'm talking about, you know," he said, after a moment. "Armin is just trying to protect you. I know, because Marco is trying to do the same for me."_

_I looked over at him in surprise; his face was upturned, worn and yearning as he stared at the sky. After a moment he glanced over at me, a sad smile on his face._

_"The pain in his eyes... he thinks he's doing such a good job of hiding it, but he's not. And Armin... Armin's a bit better at it, but he's doing the same thing with you and Eren. He just... he thinks that he can bear all the pain and responsibility on his own, just like... just like that idiot Marco...!"_

_There were tears in his eyes that mirrored my own. My confusion peaked when I felt a genuine warmth blossom in my chest, but he looked away before I could say or do anything impulsive._

_"I mean... we care about them... and they care about us. It's just... people... get hurt, you know...? Whatever you do in this world, people get hurt. We just have to make the best decisions we can, you know? And... and that's what they're trying to do, I think."_

_I sighed. "Armin isn't making the right decisions," I murmured. "If we had never left home, none of this would have happened."_

_"But you don't know that for sure," Jean said, shaking his head. "You never... shit, you never know that for sure. Trost is my home district. Did I ever, in a million years, think that... that...?" He choked on a laugh, one hand flying to his mouth and the other reaching out to point across the street. "See that... that house, right there? The one with the missing roof? Yeah, that's_ my _home. Did I ever think that I'd be looking at it... like this...? No, I didn't. I thought it'd always, always be there, with my mom just waiting to smother me the second I stepped through that door._

_"So... the safest place... in the whole world... even that isn't for sure, not with a war going on. Maybe Armin knows that; maybe that's why he left with you guys to come and fight this war. Because... because I know why I'm fighting this war, now. I know... it's to stop other people from seeing their homes like this... to save them from the agony of- of seeing their best friend put on a brave face for them, even after losing his arm; to save them from the terror of not knowing if their mom is even dead or- or alive."_

_His voice faltered at last, and he buried his face in his knees. I could only stare at him, wondering why he would chose to talk to me, of all people; wondering what I should do._

_"Why are you doing this?" I asked, in honest confusion; he didn't respond. "Why are you trying to soothe me? Why are you confiding in me like this?"_

_"Because you're a pretty girl?" he asked, sarcastically, and then shook his head. "I don't- I don't know, man... I just needed... I needed to talk to someone, and you- you looked like you might, too. I don't know..."_

_I reached out tentatively; touched his shoulder, and then squeezed it gently. "Thank you, Jean. Thank you for what you're trying to do." And I meant it._

_We stayed like that for a moment, my hand on his shoulder, gazing out at the wrecked city. I wondered when I had become willing to reach out to anyone in such a way; if this was another indication of the end of our little threesome. When the thought entered my head I jerked away from the boy sitting next to me, and he glanced over in surprise._

_"What?"_

_I curled in on myself, burying my face deeper into my scarf. "I... I don't want to- I shouldn't be confiding in anyone but them. This isn't how it's supposed to be. They're... they're my family, and... and I'm sitting here talking to a stranger...!" There I went again- confiding in him, against my better judgment. "But Eren... he didn't even come after me...! He'd rather... he'd rather sit by Armin's bedside then come and comfort his sister...!" I felt betrayed; alone; exposed. That was why I was reaching out to Jean, because, despite being a virtual stranger, he was_ there _._

_This time it was_ his _hand that touched_ my _shoulder; it was tentative and gentle, and I could feel that he was afraid of me. But I didn't want him to fear me, in that moment. I just wanted someone, anyone to care enough to reach out and touch me... and he did. I leaned into his touch, and it became steadier; more confident as he felt me respond._

_"You don't have to do this alone," he said gently. "Hey... I know... you don't want to have to look outside of your... family... but we're comrades, okay? Okay?"_

_I closed my eyes, relishing the warm feeling of his hand on my shoulder, his grip shifting nervously. And I decided suddenly that I would stay, and allow him to remain, for as long as he would let me._

__

\-- -- -- 

Watching Eren mingle with the Survey Corpsmen made me think of Jean, and remember him fondly. And that made me a bit more forgiving when Eren strayed from my side. We had sat on that roof, Jean and I, for the whole day, exchanging the occasional word but otherwise silent. And then we had returned to the hospital together to tend to our poor, brave friends.

 _What sort of hypocrite am I... scolding my boys for straying from our family... when I'm hiding such tender memories...?_

I shook my head, immediately trying to soothe myself. _They strayed first, and forced me to look elsewhere for comfort when I needed them. And it's not as if I consider Jean anything but a convenience. I wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with him, and I wouldn't shed a tear if he died._

As the Formation began to move again, I swung up onto my horse, thought no more of Jean, and fell in beside Eren. He was smiling.

"Eren."

He glanced over at me, and his wide, honest eyes almost made me forgo my question. But I had to ask.

"Do you really think this will work, Eren?"

He blinked at me, and then replied promptly, "Of course! It's Armin's plan, isn't it? Of course it'll work!"

I felt myself scowl. "Of course you would say that..." I muttered, and then spurred my horse so that I was riding just ahead of him.

"Aberrant spotted ahead!" Erwin called back to us, as if we couldn't clearly see the black smoke signal. Instantly Eren was standing in his stirrups.

"I'll deal with it, Sir!"

"You'll do no such thing, Cadet Jaeger!" the Commander of the Survey Corps called back. "You will stay put on that horse's back unless I give the order!"

I saw Eren start to bristle; he might respect Commander Smith, but he still didn't like being ordered around by humans. I felt an involuntary smile come to my lips.

"You're supposed to be commanding us in Armin's stead, Commander Smith," I said. "Don't you think that Armin would allow Eren to deal with this problem?"

Erwin shot me a stern glare, but Eren was nodding.

"Yeah... he would! Armin would let me take care of it!" Then he was leaping from his saddle, despite Erwin's bellowed protesting, and the familiar lightning bolt crashed down as he transformed. I felt myself smile as his titan's footsteps disrupted Erwin's horse's gallop; the Commander was a skilled rider, and almost recovered... but he didn't, crashing to the ground beside his mount. I resisted the urge to run over him and smash his skull in with my own stallion's hooves.

Eren's titan let out a bone-shattering roar, and I spurred my horse until I was keeping pace with him. Then he was engaging the Aberrant, an ugly beast with a flat face. Eren smashed its nose in even further with a brutal punch, and then tore its whole torso away from its lower body with a massive heave. The Aberrant was still flailing, but it fell still soon enough as Eren sunk his teeth into the nape of its neck.

Commander Smith had caught up with us, by that time, and the scientist Hanji and her assistant- the rest of the Survey Corps were hanging nervously back, understandably. I turned my house and had him prance up to Erwin, narrowing my eyes slightly and enjoying the irate look on his face.

"If you two insist on ignoring my orders, you'll get yourselves and everyone else in this company _killed_ ," he said, his eyes and tone hard.

"We will not die so easily, Commander," I replied, as Eren trotted up to join us. He was grinning, but the look in his eyes made the hair on my neck stand up. Perhaps irritating Commander Smith wasn't worth tempting the fates.

"What do I get to kill next, Mikasa?" he asked, his voice breathy with excitement. Hanji leaned forward in her saddle.

"How fascinating!" she exclaimed, although her assistant was trying to drag her horse backwards by its tail. "Eren, how do you feel right now?!"

My brother blinked, his eyes still swirling. "Alive," he replied. "Excited! And... just a bit hungry."

I saw Commander Smith's shoulders stiffen, although Hanji only made an excited noise, and decided that it was probably time to step in. I placed my hand on Eren's shoulder, and immediately his gaze snapped over to me.

"Now is not the time, Eren," I said softly, and saw the light begin to fade from his eyes. "Come on; here's your horse; get on."

He obeyed, and I felt a brief flare of relief. As much as I disliked them, the Survey Corps was still valuable to Armin as a means to an end. And as resentful as I had grown of his plans, his orders were still what would keep us all alive; I still had faith in that.

... At least, I told myself forcibly that I still had faith in that, because I still loved Armin dearly.

Commander Smith shot me a sideways glance and nodded; I huffed and turned away. I didn't want his approval; on the contrary, I would much rather make an enemy of him. But again, Armin still needed him... and he had done well to take care of our dear friend while we were occupied in Sina, so perhaps I would go a bit easy on him. I fell in behind him as he gathered the Formation with a wave of his hand, and then we were riding again.

"We have a capture area set up in the 1000 year old forest, just up ahead," he explained to me, and I nodded. "Armin said that he wanted at least three subjects, which might be difficult, but we'll do our best to deliver them."

I nodded. "If that's what he says he needs, we'd do well to heed it. He can do incredible things when he has what he needs."

"Don't I know _that_ ," Erwin Smith murmured, and I gained just a bit of respect for him. He knew that he was simply a tool that Armin would use as he saw fit; a pawn, not to be trusted with sensitive intel or even Armin's grater plans. _You're in the same uninformed boat as I am,_ I thought with some small satisfaction, although I obviously viewed myself as closer to Armin and therefore more entitled to the information than Erwin Smith. But as long as he didn't know _more_ than me... it was a tolerable situation.

... ... …

The Expedition blurred into its second day without much ado. The Survey Corps suffered comparably low casualties, even though Eren obeyed me when I told him not to Shift again. The giant trees came into view early on the second day, and Commander Smith brought us all to a halt.

"There will be one advance squad," he announced, "that will be primarily responsible for luring the titans into the forest and toward the trap. Cadet Ackerman, you'll lead that squad; take with you Mike, Nanaba, Henning, Gelgar, and Lynne."

"And Eren?" I asked.

"Eren will stay with me," Erwin said, and I bristled slightly. "I need him on hand to disable the captured titans, as well as a tool to regain control of the situation, should things go wrong."

I began to object, but then I saw Eren's expression. He looked eager; thrilled, in fact. And I couldn't bring myself to speak up against Erwin Smith, not when Eren was staring at the Commander of the Survey Corps with such unabashed adoration.

"Very well. And after the titans are captured?"

"Once they're immobilized, we'll have Eren disable them by breaking or tearing off their limbs, and get them into the transport wagons. After that, we'll simply head back to the Walls and deliver Armin's test subjects to him." Erwin looked up at me expectantly, and I nodded.

"Fine." I liked obeying him even less than I liked obeying Armin, but for the time being it was a means to an end. ... And Eren did seem awfully pleased to be an acting member of the Survey Corps.

"Let me lead the squad, Erwin," the man called Mike spoke suddenly, and I turned to him. I was momentarily surprised by his sheer size beside me, but I didn't let the intimidation sink in.

Erwin shook his head. "As much as I'd like to, my friend, no. Mikasa Ackerman will lead the squad, and you'll serve as second in command."

Mike snorted, the jerk of his head making his eyes visible beneath his shock of blonde bangs. I noticed that he was missing an eye, and suddenly a memory clicked.

_He's the one... who took down Bertholdt Fubar._ He would be one to keep an eye on, then.

"If that's what you think is wise, Erwin."

I stood, then, and took the opportunity to assert my authority. "Mike, go gather the others that Commander Smith mentioned. I'm unfamiliar with your ranks, so introduce them to me when you return."

I saw the man's shoulders stiffen, but he nodded. "Very well, Miss Ackerman." He stood, then, and jogged off toward the main body of the Corps. I turned to Erwin.

"Why are you putting me in charge?" I was curious; not torturously so, but still.

And Erwin smiled slightly; ruefully. "Because you're one of Armin's most-trusted. You won't let this mission fail, because you know what's at stake." Then he added, almost wryly, "And if you're kept busy with an important enough task, I needn't worry about your insubordination."

"You do think like Armin," I said softly, then smirked and rose. "Very well, Commander Smith. It would be my pleasure to take charge of this mission."

... ... ...

The Survey Corpsmen, if nothing else, were good at what they did- and good at following orders. The capture mission went flawlessly. 

The three titans, disabled though they were, were kept heavily restrained on three massive, heavy-duty wagons. We had caught a four meter class, a seven meter class, and an eleven meter class; Armin would be pleased. 

The sun was high in the sky by the time we set off back towards the Walls. Eren was in a joyous mood; I, though less so, was fairly cheerful myself. We would be seeing Armin again soon, after all. _Now that we’ve done this for him… perhaps he’ll finally tell us_ why _he wants titan test subjects… and what his endgame really is._

The smoke signals went up moments before the rumbling began- a dozen or so black ribbons shot up into the blue sky from the rear of the Formation. _An… Aberrant...?_ The rumbling, as it came closer and more into focus, morphed into a series of rhythmic thuds- footsteps, albeit faster than any titan footsteps I had ever heard. 

“... Hold your position…” Erwin said softly; he had brought the Formation to a halt, but was waiting; watching. I felt myself come to standing in my stirrups. Eren’s head too, was raised, a strange look in his deep turquoise eyes. I read the words on his lips as he mouthed them. 

_”He’s here.”_

Seconds later, before I could even think of questioning my brother, the strangest titan I’d ever seen blew past us, racing along on all fours like a disfigured beast. It left a trail of dust and fur in it’s wake, and I coughed for a moment to clear my lungs. But it hadn’t attacked us; strange, I thought, to say the least, and glanced over at Eren, wondering if he had any insight. 

My brother was vibrating, from head to toe, straining up in his saddle and after the strange titan. His eyes were so wide that they seemed in danger of popping from his head, his pupils dilated hugely. And, on top of it all, he was grinning. 

“That was it; that was the Ape,” he whispered. “Oh, something pissed him off good… someone’s going to suffer…” 

“Eren, what are you talking about?” I asked, unable to entirely hide my uneasiness. He seemed to snap out of his trance almost immediately. 

“What? Did I say something?” he asked helplessly, and I decided not to press the issue. Shaking my head, I left Eren and urged my horse up beside Erwin’s. 

“What was that thing?” I asked him, and he just shook his head. 

“The Ape Titan- and it was headed towards the Walls.” With a motion to the Formation, Erwin spurred his horse to a gallop; I followed him, this time, without hesitation. 

_The Ape… Titan…?_

_Armin… please stay safe._

And then there was the roar- the scream. It shook the earth just as Wall Rose came into view over the crest of a hill. I came up beside Erwin as he pulled his horse into a sharp rear, motioning wildly for the rest of the Survey Corps. 

“Turn back!!” he bellowed, his eyes as wild as his panicking horse’s. “Get back, all of you!!” 

But I couldn’t obey. I couldn’t do anything but stare at the crumbling Walls as they came crashing down; as titans flooded toward them. Straining up in my stirrups, I could just make out the silhouette of a Beast, standing tall atop one of the Wall’s intact fragments. 

Then Erwin had grabbed my horse’s reins, dragging the animal and me back down the hill. Eren let out a little sound of alarm as we passed him, turning his own mount quickly to follow us. 

“Mikasa, Commander, what’s going on?!” 

“Mike!” Erwin released me as he barked the name. “Gather the Corps and find us a farm to take shelter in! We need to regroup!” 

Mike, who hadn’t reached the top of the hill, looked uncertain for just a moment. Then he nodded sharply, turning his horse and riding into the midst of the Survey Corps. Eren had turned; was beginning to climb the hill. But I reached out; grabbed the back of his saddle. 

“Eren, don’t.” 

“What’s up there, Mikasa?” my brother asked- not demanding, but curious. “What’s happening? What did the Ape do? I know he did something, I can _feel_ it, but _what_?” 

Trying not to be unnerved by the way his eyes were glowing, I shook my head. “Not now. Now isn’t the time, Eren.” With how things were going, I wasn’t sure I could protect him if he went off alone. “We need to stay with the Survey Corps until I get a better handle on the situation.” I wasn’t used to having to make snap decisions- Armin always did that for us. But Armin wasn’t there. 

_I’ve resented him… for so long… but i’ve forgotten how dependant on each other we really are._

Eren seemed clueless where my uncertainties were concerned. “... Alright,” he said, sounding a bit disappointed. “Okay, Mikasa.” 

As loathe as I was to admit it, I was grateful for the body of the Survey Corps when it closed around us as we began to move again. If the Walls were done for, these humans offered at least some protection. It felt almost as though Armin was looking out for us, in his wisdom to surround us with capable soldiers. However, no matter how comforting that thought might have been, I was sure that that had not been my blonde friend’s intention. I looked over at Eren, still casting glances over his shoulder. 

_You’re so valuable to so many people, Brother… including our precious friend… but I’m the only one who will protect you for the sake of protecting_ you _, Coordinate powers be damned. And I will never let you become a pawn in this wretched war, I promise… not even now._

... ... …

"Ackerman, come here for a moment."

Mike had found a suitable farm, and the Survey Corps had set up a perimeter and settled down. Sunset was quickly approaching, and still we hadn’t spoken about the Fall of Wall Rose; from the disconcerted chatter of most, I doubted that many soldiers even knew at all. I felt my eyebrows arch, but I followed the Commander of the Survey Corps anyway, motioning for Eren to stay where he was. Erwin Smith's expression was troubled but calm.

"Ackerman, you and Jaeger are our only hope of staying alive out here for any length of time."

"I know," I replied simply, and I did. "Don't worry, Commander. While it would certainly be easier to abandon the lot of you, you're too vital to Armin for us to do that." Besides that, I didn’t feel confident in striking out alone… not quite. I still had too much faith in Armin, after all, to take matters into my own hands. But I didn’t voice that, of course. 

His expression eased a bit. "I thank you for that assurance."

"Is that all you wanted from me?" I asked; I wanted to get back to Eren.

"One more thing." He cleared his throat slightly, seeming more uncomfortable than suited a man of his stature and power. But he seemed to give himself a mental shake, and addressed me in an amazingly matter-of-factual tone. "Rations are very limited, and a hungry, predatory Eren Jaeger is the last thing we need to deal with right now. I don't particularly want the troupes to know, but you two have my permission to feed on the dead, if you wish."

I felt my eyebrows raise in surprise. "Sir?"

"I'm practical above sentimental," he said simply. "I can't have Jaeger attacking my soldiers when he gets hungry- or you, for that matter. And I don't have the resources to keep anyone in the Formation properly fed at this point. While I think most of _my_ men would sooner starve, the bodies of the dead will keep you two fed, at least."

I wasn't sure if I lost or gained respect for Erwin Smith, in that moment. He certainly reminded me, with his morbid determination and practicality, of my dear Armin.

"Thank you, Sir. We will certainly take advantage of your generous allowance."

... ... ...

Eren was pleased when I told him the news about our rations.

He had been, much to my surprise, holding back. I had expected him to snap and start eating our supposed "comrades" sooner, but he hadn't. I wondered what that indicated about his mental state as a whole. But he certainly wasn't conflicted about the offered meal, once I told him that we had Erwin's permission. 

Respecting the fact that the Commander wanted to keep our supplemental rations a secret from the other Survey Corpsmen, I waited for an opportunity and then dragged off a nigh unidentifiable body- its head had been bitten off by the titan that killed it -into the brush. Eren bounded after me eagerly when I returned to fetch him.

"Erwin's a good guy!" he chirped, as he tore into the young man's abdominal cavity. "He reminds me of Armin, you know? Looking out for us."

"It benefits him to look after us," I said calmly, amputating an arm neatly at the elbow with my blades.

"That's partially why Armin does it, too," Eren pointed out.

"Yes, but its also partially because he cares about us. Erwin does not care about us."

Eren was silent for a moment, his face halfway buried in the soldier's intestines; he emerged with a mouthful of the shiny pink entrails, and spoke through it. "I think he cares about Armin, though. He's been taking good care of him, when we couldn't."

I was a good deal tidier than Eren, sheering off strips of the arm and taking them in manageable bites. I didn't particularly savor the idea of what I was eating, as he probably did. "Perhaps. But remember, Eren- the three of us will always be one family. I'll never extend an outsider that right- the right to be considered one of us."

"What if Annie wakes up at some point?" Eren asked, and I narrowed my eyes.

"What if she does?"

"Well, Armin loves her," he pointed out, and I twitched.

"Armin does not 'love' anyone but us." I knew it was probably a lie, but I needed to believe it.

Eren relented, waving a handful of fate-only-knew what organ in my general direction. "Fine, fine. But he cares about her, even if you don't want to say 'love.' If she wakes up at some point," he took a bite of whatever he was holding, "you'll _have_ to accept her into the the family."

"I will do no such thing," I growled, cutting deep into the arm I was holding and feeling my blade strike bone. "Annie Leonheart is not one of us." I'd kill her before I accepted her as a part of my precious family- and that went for anyone. She would only continue to hurt Armin if I tolerated her, and that certainly wouldn't do.

Eren cocked his head. "You sound angrier than I usually do."

_He_ sounded mildly amused, and it irritated me. I took another bite of the meat, then stood and tossed the remains of the arm down beside him. "Eat your fill and dispose of the rest," I growled. "I'll be with the others."

"Since when do you choose to associate with 'outsiders' instead of me?" He sounded a bit hurt, now, and I felt a flare of guilt.

"Since you've decided to behave like an annoying little _child_." His words- and the conversation as a whole -were disturbing me. It _wasn’t_ just the three of us, not since we had left Shiganshina. As much as I was loathe to admit it, I had grown to consider some of the 104th comrades. But our family was sacred- I wouldn't let _anyone_ enter it, _or_ leave it.

If the day came when Armin chose Annie Leonheart over us, I would have no choice but to turn my blades on him and make him see reason.

... ... ...

Not long after that, when the sun was nearing the horizon, Erwin Smith gathered a handful of us together: myself, Mike, Hanji, Moblit and Nanaba. Eren was absent, but that was alright with me; he would have only served as a distraction.

"We have three options," Erwin began, motioning to a map spread out before him. "We are here; it would take a day and a half's travel to reach Karanese, here. However, even if we were to return to Wall Rose, there wouldn't be much we could do outside of facilitate civilian evac. into Sina.

"Alternatively, a small group of us could head back to the Walls and attempt to contact Armin Arlert." I already liked the sound of option number two. I hoped that Armin would regret not trusting any of us with his precious plans, as it would cost us time and manpower now. "Our next step would be his own decision- we do still have the titans he asked us to capture, but we won’t be able to maintain that for long.

"Or third, we could continue on with the mission so far as I understand it."

I stiffened, my thoughts grinding to a halt and my stomach tightening.

"Hanji- the serum that Armin was working on. Do you have the formula?" Erwin asked, and the scientist nodded.

"He had two working prototypes. But Erwin, what good-?"

"A lot, actually," Erwin cut her off, and I felt my eyes widen. The Commander glanced at me, and I knew that my rising emotions were not hidden from him. "Do you think you could make them?"

"’Make them?!’" Hanji echoed, surprised. "Erwin, I'll ask again: what good would they do? They're prototypes for a serum to force Shifters to-"

"No." This time Erwin's voice was firm; his gaze didn't flit past me, but instead lingered. "That's not what they're for. They aren't for use in Shifters at all, but Common Titans. That's why we're out here trying to catch him a couple of test subjects.

"If those serums work, we'll be able to eradicate the titans."

I couldn't listen any more, and stood abruptly. Mike looked up questioningly, and I had to resist the urge to kick him in the nose. Erwin's eyes were wretchedly soft with sympathy.

"I'm sorry he told me and not you." He knew. He knew exactly what the issue was. "Please be grateful that he told _someone_ , so that we can-"

"Shut up." I couldn't listen to him for another moment; I would kill them _both_. I would cut off Erwin Smith's ears and gouge out his eyes- blind and deafen him for knowing what he should not know. I would slice out Armin's tongue- mute him forever for confiding in someone else rather than me.

But, for all the anger in me, the sadness and betrayal were far more potent. I could suffer the indignity of being kept in the dark by Armin because everyone else was, as well; I could bear it because I loved him, and I trusted that he wished me no ill by concealing the information. But to find out that he had trusted someone else with his plans- that he had spoken intimately with _Erwin Smith_ of all people -made that suffering intolerable.

"Cadet Ackerman..." the Commander began appealingly, but I could barely hear him. "Armin was tormented by the fact that he didn't feel he could divulge his plans to you and young Eren Jaeger. Please do not judge him harshly for-"

"I said shut up." My dagger was out before I could think about it, pointed at Erwin Smith. Instantly Mike had his blade at my throat, but I didn't flinch; neither did Erwin. "I don't want to hear it." I almost wished he would push it; I was seething, itching for something to take out my hurt and frustration on.

But he didn't, raising his hands instead. "Very well. If you don't even want to hear option three, which of the first two do you prefer?"

I huffed, disappointed and relieved as I put my knife away. "The second."

"I thought you might." Erwin stood; his height and size did little to intimidate me, but they were still worth noting as I shifted just slightly into a defensive position. "Then you'll execute option two. Take with you Nifa, Henning, and Lynne. Return to the Walls, find Armin, and figure out what he wants us to do."

"I'm not taking your men with me; I'm taking Eren, and only Eren." It was a statement, not a question.

Erwin hesitated, but eventually nodded. "Very well. Meanwhile, the rest of us will pursue option three while we await Armin's orders."

I felt myself stiffen and bristle, but I nodded tersely. I had my own plans now, after all, and it mattered little what Erwin Smith did. "Suit yourself."

The Commander's eyes narrowed in a way that made it clear he knew I was up to something; I didn't particularly mind, at least not until he said, "You'll take Eren _and_ Mike, or I won't allow you to leave."

I looked over at Mike distastefully; he seemed calm enough, but he was grimacing. Erwin glanced at him, too, and he nodded at the Commander.

_Could Erwin Smith really stop us from leaving...?_ I wondered, and then decided the it wasn't worth the hassle. Losing one pesky tail would be simple, whereas escaping from the whole of the Survey Corps might be a bit trickier.

"Fine." I made sure my tone dripped displeasure, but Erwin only nodded stoically.

"Excellent."

... ... …

We set out just after sunset. I patted my horse's neck as I collected it from the small herd of Survey Corps' mounts. The black stallion had stuck with me through everything, and I certainly couldn't imagine trusting another animal with my life; with Eren's.

"Come on," I murmured softly, and the horse nickered in response. "I know. I've got treats waiting for you back home, once we get there."

Eren was excited that we had a special mission; his grin seemed to be capable of tearing his face in half. "Armin will be so happy to see us!" he commented, swinging up onto his own horse. "Thanks for coming with us, Mike!"

The Survey Corpsman grunted, his good eye on me. He knew full well, as Erwin did, that I had no intention of returning to the Walls- or what was left of them.

"I'm sure he will be, Eren," I replied softly. "Let's go."

Mike let me take the lead, torch in my hand, as we set off across the planes. The shaggy-haired man had a smoke signal gun hanging at his hip; I needed to get him as far out of visual range of the Corps as I could, first. I glanced briefly at Eren; I knew that he would disapprove of what I was doing, but would he stop to ask questions in the heat of the moment? I should have been able to count on his unconditional support, but he admired all the senior Corpsmen; he might not be so keen on attacking one.

_... But if I deal with Eren first, it'll tip off Mike._

So I contented myself with playing along for the time being, heading back toward the Walls at a steady gallop. Titan attacks were few and far between, and then stopped completely as the night wore on. We passed many of the catatonic creatures, rendered unconscious by the darkness. By the time dawn was approaching, the rubble of Wall Rose had appeared on the horizon. Eren’s eyes widened upon seeing it.

“So that was what the Ape did… that was what he did. It serves humanity right. No more places… for roaches to hide.”

Mike looked visibly disturbed, and I felt a flare of satisfaction. I pulled my horse to a stop, figuring that I wouldn't get a better chance.

"Let's rest a bit, and eat. We'll aim to enter Karanese at dawn."

Mike began to protest, but Eren's face lit up. "Great idea, Mikasa! I'm starving!"

I smiled slightly; he was still on my side, even if this exact instance might be unintentional. So I swung down from my horse; the faithful creature didn't need to be tethered, simply began to graze quietly. Eren slipped down too, and Mike followed suit reluctantly as I put out the torch; the sky was already lightening with the approaching dawn. 

Erwin had packed us rations; I noticed that Eren's had some fresh meat included, and was momentarily surprised. But then my surprise melted into a muted appreciation for the Commander's thoroughness.

"Eat it all," I encouraged. "We can find more once we get to the Walls. Have mine, too."

Mike watched me with unabashed suspicion, but Eren didn't bat an eye. He simply ate what I presented to him, unquestioning. _Good boy... my loyal, precious boy…_

But I couldn't take the risk. I didn't think he would turn on me, but he could still make for a fatal distraction if things went wrong. I slid the vial Armin had given me out of my sleeve and into my palm, scooting casually closer to him. I smiled slightly; affectionately, benignly.

"You've got a little..." I began, and chuckled when his eyes widened, tongue darting out to lick his lips. I reached forward. "Let me..."

I stabbed the needle into his jugular.

Instantly Mike was upon me, even as Eren's confusion faded into unconsciousness. I blocked the Corpsman's strike with my dagger, rolling to the side and letting Eren hit the ground. Then I was on my feet, legs braced as I faced the man who had defeated Bertholdt Fubar.

"I knew it was only a matter of time," he said. "So did Erwin; that's why he sent me with you."

"Then he's just ensured your death," I replied softly. "Can't have you running back to the Survey Corps."

"And we can't have you running off with Eren Jaeger," Mike rumbled, and I felt my shoulders stiffen.

"Eren is _my_ family- I'll do what I need to in order to protect him!!"

I launched myself forward, and was met head-on by his blades. He was superior in terms of brute strength; I was far from weak, but lacked the sheer bulk that he had. I ducked, sheathing my blades and letting my hands take my weight as I twisted, wrapping both my feet around one of his ankles and unbalancing him. I spun back onto my feet, but he recovered almost as quickly, lashing out with one of his blades. I bent backwards, feeling the metal slip past my face.

Letting my momentum carry me, I flew into a backflip, kicking one of his wrists with enough force to make him drop the blade he was holding. Landing on my feet, I charged at him; he still had one blade, as he scrambled to retrieve the other, but I dodged it and managed to get in a neat slice to his side with my dagger as I darted by him. Then I spun, aiming for his exposed back, but he turned with surprising speed to meet me and blocked the strike.

"Stand down," the man growled, his good eye glinting with intensity. "I don't want to kill you."

I almost laughed. "You? Kill _me_? Worry about your _own_ skin, human!"

We both sprang back simultaneously, and I felt the ground shift under my feet as I dug them in. Then I bounced back toward him, looking to slip under his guard again. But he turned with surprising grace and slashed for me; I hit the ground and rolled forward to avoid being sliced in two. He kicked out before I had recovered, his huge foot cracking into my side and sending me sprawling. I sprang up in time to avoid his stabbing blade, but I was on the defensive.

_He's not only huge... he's fast, too…_ I grimaced. _If I can take advantage of his blind side, then maybe…_

I blocked first one, then another of his strikes. I felt the breath blown from my body each time his blades, glinting with the coming dawn, hit mine, and I knew that a drawn out battle would be the end of me.

A titan's roar was, perhaps, the last thing either of us wanted to hear; several roars, however, were worse.

My eyes flashed to Eren, unconscious and helpless on the ground. Mike seemed to be thinking the same thing, and we both lunged for him. But as I closed in, the wind whipped up suddenly, blowing my scarf into my face and making me pitch off balance. The titans were upon us, then, as I stumbled, and Mike scooped Eren up off the ground.

_He... gave me this scarf._

_Eren... would not approve of what I'm doing...!_

I already knew that, though; it didn't matter. If it was a case of keeping him safe, Eren's opinions and loyalties didn't matter.

_All of this is for you, Brother._

I pursued Mike, as he dodged around the trio of titans that had appeared. The Corpsman didn't turn to look at me, but kept his gaze straight ahead; back toward the Survey Corps. I put on a burst of speed as we reached the trees and switched to our Maneuver Gear, leaving the sleepy titans behind easily. The man swooped down low and I followed; he dodged to the side, and I stayed with him. No one, not even that scrappy little Corporal Levi, could outmatch me with 3D Maneuver Gear.

"Don't think you can get away from me!" I shrieked, slashing out and feeling my blade snap through one of his harness' straps. Mike didn't fall, but recovered and landed firmly on his feet on the forest floor. It mattered little, though; without his Gear, I could pick him off at any time. I aimed for his neck, as though he were a titan, and began to spin slowly as I swooped down towards him.

Then, the real titan- it got between us at the last moment, obviously as intent on snaring Mike as I was, and my blades sliced uselessly through its fingers. Once I got a clear view again, through the titan flesh and shower of blood, Mike had vanished. I took a moment to marvel at his skill; to be without Maneuver Gear was quite a handicap that he seemed to have gotten over quickly.

_He still has Eren..._

He had no chance of making it back to the Survey Corps before I found him, I told myself repeatedly, but I had seen that he was not a man to be underestimated. Additionally, if he got himself caught by a titan that would mean Eren would be eaten, as well. The panic in my chest was building steadily as I scanned the woods, desperate for a glimpse of them.

I glanced over at the soft nickering just below my tree, and felt surprise and gratitude flood me. My beautiful black stallion had followed us, ready should I need him. Leaping down, I swung up onto horseback, then urged him through the trees slowly.

_That oaf couldn't have gotten far…_

The dawn light strengthened as I rode, time ticking steadily by. Eventually I made out the thud of massive footsteps ahead and put on a bit of speed; as agreeable to me as it would be to see Mike be eaten, he had Eren with him… and Eren was currently helpless, thanks to me. I felt a momentary stab of guilt for placing him in such danger, but shoved it down. _Calculated risks have to be taken… to protect him from the even greater danger of whatever Armin is planning._ I knew I would have been of a different state of mind if I _knew_ what Armin was planning… but that had been his mistake, shutting me out. 

There was a clearing ahead, filled with yellow wildflowers. Four- no, five titans were milling about, seeming centered around one tree in particular. _The only reason for them to gather like that would be a human…_ I thought, narrowing my eyes. _Did Mike manage to get up the tree…?_

Hopping up onto the balls of my feet in my saddle, I decided that it would probably be best to deal with the titans first and Mike second. Selecting my route carefully, I took off; dispatched first one titan, a second, and then a third. The fourth one was an awkward kill at best, but I managed it, and then there was only one left. I sprang off the central tree’s trunk, but the titan turned at the last moment to meet me. I twisted, shooting my cables into and then landing on the front of it’s shoulder to avoid being grabbed. 

_What…?_

The titan, I now saw, had a ragged, smoking hole in the center of the front of it’s neck. _A freshly… dealt… wound…?_ It looked awfully clumsy for the work of a Survey Corpsman, and I didn’t even know how Mike would have gotten up onto the creature’s throat, but… _... Who else could have wounded it like that…?_

Shaking my head, telling myself forcefully that it didn’t matter for now, I finished the creature and then landed lightly among the blooms. Craning my head, I looked up into the canopy above me. 

_... Come out, come out…little Survey Corpsman…_ I tightened my grip on my blades. 

And then- movement. I darted forward, crashing into Mike and sending us both clattering to the ground. My Gear detached with the force of the impact, and Eren hit the ground and went tumbling. The much larger man tried to grab me, but I slithered away and scrambled backwards. I didn’t have time to waste with him, not anymore. Killing him might be ideal, but I had to be realistic. 

Mike, however, seemed to be in no rush to retreat. He charged at me, blades drawn, and I was forced to counter. I ducked down, going for his legs, but all that earned me was a brutal kick to the collarbone. I threw myself backwards to lessen the impact, rolling over and over in a series of backwards somersaults. By the time I skidded onto my feet again he was upon me, blades raised above his head. I lunged to the side, scrambling to retrieve my Gear and reattach it. I felt my feet slip on the flower petals as I spun to face him again, and my back slammed into the rough trunk of the clearing’s central tree. I barely managed to duck as he slammed one blade into the wood just behind my head. 

_This isn’t a battle I can win…!!_ I knew it with sudden and complete conviction. But I still had the upper hand when it came to maneuverability- I would have even if he had still had a fully functional set of Gear. So I slipped below his guard and raced for Eren, readying myself to take to the trees. Mike knew what I intended to do, and gave chase… but was just a hair too slow as I snatched Eren up. 

My takeoff was clumsy at best, but as soon as I landed on a nearby tree branch I knew I was safe. Mike flung himself up the tree, but couldn’t possibly climb fast enough to catch me before I had situated Eren more securely on my back and taken off again, whistling for my horse to follow. And then, trying not to be sore about the loose ends I was leaving untied, I left Mike behind in the clearing.

… … … 

Eren felt heavy on my back as I traveled. My destination seemed so very far away, and I felt so alone. I wished that Armin was with us; I wished that we three could just be together, like we were meant to be. But, as it was, I was alone- Armin was too wrapped up in his plans to pay me any attention, and Eren was unconscious, by necessity, at my own hand.

_Once… we return to Shiganshina… things will get better…_

_Eren… Eren will wake up. He’ll understand._

_And Armin… Armin will find his way back to us._

I pictured it, as I flew: Armin returning home. He would be dusty and worn out, battered from the war he had been torturing himself with. But we would be there, Eren and I, to embrace him and hold him to us tightly. We would draw him into Shiganshina and close the gates behind him- we would seal the gates. And we would welcome him- even though he had betrayed us, he was family. We would forgive him without a word, and he would forgive us, and we would be a family again. 

A sound to my left distracted me from the happy thought, and I quickly shoved such fantasies from my head. I had to _make it_ to Shiganshina, first, if I wanted any of that to come to pass. Listening closely, I made out the sounds of another set of 3D Maneuver Gear, and stiffened. 

_Did Mike managed to repair his? Did the Survey Corps send someone else after us?_

But the person who appeared around the next tree was clearly not a Survey Corpsman. For one, he wasn’t dressed like one; for another, he was scruffy, wiry and menacing in appearance. And the final detail was the fact that his Maneuver Gear was like none I’d ever seen- equipped with _guns_ rather than blades. 

… One gun. The other appeared to be broken. 

“Good day, M’Lady.” 

“Good day,” I replied warily, careful to keep a good amount of distance between us. I could tell from the way he was moving that he was no beginner at Maneuver Gear, and that gun of his made me nervous about trying to outrun him. 

“And where might you be headed?” he asked, with a smile that tried to be benign. 

“Who wants to know?” I asked levelly. 

“How rude of me,” the man said, removing his hat and tossing it to the breeze. “Kenny Ackerman, at your service, Miss…?” 

I felt a shiver run through me from head to toe. _... Ackerman…?_ “Mikasa,” I replied. “My name is Mikasa.” 

“Mikasa,” the strange man acknowledged, and I felt a flood of apprehension just hearing him say my name. “A pretty name for a pretty young girl. And who’s your companion?” 

“Eren.” I saw no logical reason to hide it, but at the same time simply telling him the name of my precious brother made me feel like a traitor. I didn’t like him. I didn’t trust him. 

“Eren,” Kenny Ackerman repeated. “And where are you and Eren headed, Mikasa?” 

“Nowhere where we’ll want for company,” I said, and the man smiled an unnervingly crooked smile. 

“I understand that. But won’t you take pity on a wretched, lonely traveler? As I’m sure you know, the Walls are gone. Loners out in this wilderness are easy prey for titans.” 

“That’s your own problem,” I said simply. But his last name was still bothering me. _If he really is blood-related… biological_ family _... then would it be right to leave him to such a fate…?_

“I could be of some help to you, as well,” Kenny said appealingly. “I know quite a bit about the titans and what’s causing all this.” 

“I’m less than curious about things like that,” I said curtly; I, unlike Armin, had no endless hunger for information. Kenny’s brow furrowed a bit. 

“Well… then perhaps just human sympathy?” he asked, and I hesitated. 

_Ackerman…_ I didn’t think I knew him, and I hadn’t told him my last name. It was unlikely that the name he had given was a ploy to gain my sympathy. He didn’t appear to be the type who would try that kind of trick, anyway. So I decided to take a chance- not wise, perhaps, given the situation, but unavoidable. 

“... You wouldn’t be related to a Tobias Ackerman, would you?” 

Kenny looked genuinely surprised. “Yeah. He was…” He trailed off suddenly, and then a grin split his face. “No. The eyes- I see it in the pretty gray eyes. You’re that kid of Tobias and Miyu’s! I saw you once when you were just a whelp.” 

I felt my throat close up unexpectedly, and struggled to keep it out of my voice. “What a strange place to meet again.” 

We didn’t reach a verbal agreement, then; he simply drew a bit closer, and I allowed him to fly through the trees beside me.

… … … 

_Kenny Ackerman…_

It was unexpected, to say the least, finding a remnant of my blood-family wandering around the titan-infested wilderness. But I couldn't think, no matter how hard I tried, of a way that it could be a trick- he had given his name almost immediately after seeing me, and he had known my mother's name without prompting.

However, I had to wonder why a dear Uncle Kenny had never been mentioned around the diner table.

Eren began to stir as the day wore on. Wordlessly, I landed; Kenny followed my lead without question. I was pleased to see that my horse had kept up with us, and greeted it with a pat on the neck.

"Getting tired?" my companion asked, and I shot him a sideways glare.

"Not particularly." Eren moaned softly, and suddenly my movements were urgent as I unslung him from my back.

"Ugh... Mi... kasa...?"

"Hush," I whispered, as I wrestled momentarily with the cap on another dose of sedative. I was aware of Kenny watching us intently.

"Mikasa... Ar... min..." Eren choked out our friend's name. "Where's...?"

"Hush," I repeated, taking a moment to run my fingers soothingly through his hair. "Armin will catch up soon enough, I promise."

"But--!" Eren tried to object, gaining strength quickly. It stung my heart, but I knew that I couldn't wait another second. I gently slipped the needle into his neck, vividly aware of the fact that Kenny was watching it all play out. As Eren fell back onto the hard-packed earth, I looked up at him; he held up his hands casually.

"I won't even ask."

I narrowed my eyes, but then nodded. "A wise decision."

There was a long pause, and I began to pick Eren up off the ground. But suddenly Kenny spoke again, his words making me freeze.

"Little blonde boy, about 5'4", blue eyes?"

I rounded on him. "What?"

"This Armin that your friend mentioned- and he hails from Shiganshina?"

I felt apprehension and excitement twist my stomach. "Yes. You know him?"

"He's dead."

My heart dropped like a stone; my mouth went dry. "What?" I repeated, although in a less stable tone than before.

"I traveled with him, for a time," Kenny said. "He and Levi and one of Levi's old friends. They were out here looking for the Survey Corps. But we ran into some titans, back in that clearing with the yellow flowers. Armin didn't make it, and Levi and his cohort ran me off shortly after."

I felt my head spin; if I hadn't already been seated, my legs likely would have given out. As it was, I looked down at Eren, sleeping so peacefully. I had just promised him that our missing piece would catch up; I had been so certain that he would.

"A... titan...? He was killed... by a titan?"

Kenny murmured an affirmation. "I'm so sorry. And what a way to find out. You probably... had no doubts that he would return to you. Such a strong boy, that one... mentally, if not physically."

I felt a sob claw it's way up my throat. _No... no, this can't be true... Armin... how could you... let yourself be killed...? By a titan no less... It can't... be true... it can't…_

"I don't believe you." I had to say it, for the sake of my own sanity. "You must be mistaken. Armin wouldn't let himself be killed like that."

Kenny shrugged. "It's up to you what you believe. I just wanted to spare you the pain of waiting for someone who'll never be coming back."

"Shut up," I said, and he obliged. But the doubt was there, now; in the back of my head. "Eaten by a titan... Armin wouldn't die in such a... _mundane_ way. I'm sure of it."

I tried not to think about Armin's alleged death as we kept moving southward. _He wouldn't die…_ I kept telling myself, _least of all without... saying goodbye._

_He wouldn't leave us._

Loathe as I was to admit it, Kenny's presence was soothing. It was more than a questionable matter of blood relation; it was simply that he was a living presence beside me. He wasn't chatty, and of that I was appreciative, but he was _there_.

Eren was there too, but the guilt I felt about drugging him made his body feel a hundred times heavier than it really was on my back.

_What will I do... if Armin never comes home to Shiganshina...? What... will I tell Eren...?_

The thought was so disturbing that I forced it down. Far more immediate a concern was getting _us_ to Shiganshina; I could worry about Armin once Eren was safe.

_I'll... go back for him. Once Eren is safe in Shiganshina, I'll go back for Armin. I'll_ drag _him to safety, whether he wants to come or not._ I was no longer content just to wait for him- just to wait for my precious boy to appear... or not appear. _I'll come for you, Armin... just wait for me._

"Mikasa."

I looked over at Kenny; it looked like he had been trying to get my attention for several minutes, and I shook my head apologetically.

"What is it?"

"We’ll reach Shiganshina before sundown with time to spare. Let’s rest for a while- and talk.” 

I felt annoyance and impatience lance through me, but nodded anyway. I could feel my limbs beginning to shake with fatigue. 

"Very well." It was only a matter of time before the second dose of Eren's sedative wore off, anyway. I landed, with Kenny beside me, and greeted my horse as he trotted up to meet us. The brief rest would give me a bit of time to consider what to do about Kenny, besides; I still wasn't sure that I wanted him in Shiganshina, although I didn't know what else there was to do with him.

_If he really is... family... I don't suppose I can leave him at the mercy of the titans._ I intended to make Shiganshina a fortress- a last refuge, while the rest of the world died around us. It would be a peaceful paradise- home, where we would live out the rest of our lives together. We could travel, because I knew that that would make my boys happy, but only after the rest of humanity was obliterated. _Getting involved with others leads only to trouble. I knew it from the beginning. We can only be truly safe if we never come in contact with another of those wretched--_

_"... we're comrades, okay?"_

The memory slammed unbidden into my mind, followed almost immediately by the thought, _Do they all deserve to die?_ I felt my breath hitch slightly; unexpectedly. _The 104th Training Division... our comrades, if only for a fleeting moment._

_... An example of what can go_ right _with humanity._

I shook my head firmly. _But fighting to preserve humanity is a_ losing battle _,_ I told myself firmly. _This is all I can do, to protect my boys; my family._ I glanced awkwardly over at Kenny, hoping he couldn't read my thoughts by some black magic. _... Family...? If I was given the choice... to save this man who supposedly shares my blood... or to save Jean Kirstein... unrelated by all accounts..._

_… Precious... family...?_

But I already had a family, and I had a feeling that it would take all I had to keep them safe. I had no more space in my heart to extend, nor time or energy to think about it. Kenny was right in front of me; I might have the luxury of being able to save him, if I decided that I wanted to. But the others were far out of my reach. I let myself sit down heavily, pulling Eren into my lap; Kenny sat across from me. 

"So you're going back to Shiganshina?" His voice chased away the last of my introspection, thank fate. 

I nodded sullenly, but didn't speak. I didn't trust him... but I wanted to. I ran my fingers absently through Eren's hair.

"Do you really think that you'll be able to stay out of this war that way?" Kenny asked, not unkindly.

I lowered my head. "Yes. Shiganshina was abandoned by the Walls. We should all be dead. No one has any reason to bother us."

"Nobody _needs_ a reason to bother anyone in this world, girl," Kenny said. 

"... They'll be too busy with their war to worry about us," I said softly. "And eventually they'll all kill each other. We'll be the only ones left, then, and we'll be able to live in peace."

"And what if the Ape brings your own small Walls down, too?" he asked, and I felt a flare of annoyance.

"Eren won't let the Ape anywhere near us." Armin had told me once that Eren was special- that he could defeat the Ape. So we truly had nothing to fear, if we only relied on one another. Kenny's line of questioning didn't frighten me.

The man's eyebrows arched. "Oh? _Eren_ can stand against the Ape Titan? There's only one person in the world who can do that."

I felt a sudden nervousness shoot up my spine, making the hair rise on the back of my neck. Kenny sounded just a bit too interested; his eyes were just a bit too bright. "So I've been told."

"Pardon the forward question," Kenny said, "but your brother is the _Coordinate_?"

I hesitated, but it was obvious that he was only asking to verify what information I had already unwittingly given him. So I nodded. "According to Armin, yes."

Kenny was silent, but I didn't take my eyes from him. I couldn't shake the feeling that he now had information he never should have possessed. He seemed, somehow, more dangerous now. I glanced subconsciously in the direction of Shiganshina; of home; of safety.

"If that's true..." Kenny Ackerman said at last, "then you can't run from this war- not so long as he's with you. I’ve seen a Coordinate try, and it didn’t end well.” 

I felt a lump of cold fear settle in my stomach; he had voiced the thing I had been too terrified to consider. But I still couldn't accept it.

"We're going to Shiganshina." I stood, pulling Eren up onto my back and turning away from my companion. "Come with us or stay. But don't speak to me about things like that."

Kenny stood; brushed himself off. "For an Ackerman... no, no. You're an excellent example of an Ackerman, taking away humanity's only hope because it suits you."

I felt my skin crawl at the sound of his voice. "Humanity has never done anything for me or my family. I have to protect those who are precious to me."

"So do I, little miss."

I heard the click of his gun- froze.

"And who is precious to you, Kenny Ackerman?" My voice was steady; I was glad.

"Only one person in this whole wide world, girl. And it's clear that your mind won't be changed to suit me. Now drop the Coordinate, or I shoot you both."

"You're a poor example of an Ackerman... My father must have been ashamed." I let Eren slip from my back; raised my hands.

"There's a good girl." His voice was closer, and I heard the scuff of his footsteps. "Now detach your Gear and walk forward."

I did as he said. My Gear would only get in the way, anyway.

"Good girl," Kenny repeated. I heard him stop. I pictured him, gun pointed at my back; measured the paces between us. "Now stay still."

I heard his gun click.

The shot rang out just as I moved; he fired a second time, but missed again. Exactly five steps, plus one for the backwards pace he took; the knife from my boot; the exhaustion of a weary, desperate traveler making one final play at self-preservation.

My desire to protect Eren was more powerful than his desire to protect himself. My love for my brother would always be stronger than such things.

I jammed the knife up into his chest hard, feeling something crack. It took one more thrust to sink into flesh, releasing a torrent of blood from behind whatever sort of armor had protected him. He coughed; tried to bring up his gun, and failed. It hit the ground. I pushed harder into my weapon, until I felt and heard his ribs _crunch_. And then I pulled my blade out with a crisp ringing on bone and a sticky sucking of flesh, watching as Kenny Ackerman fell backwards.

_Ackerman..._

I dropped down onto my knees, my hands coming to rest on his chest. His blood- my blood -was thick as it flowed out around my fingers, and for an instant I pressed down hard on the wound. But then I realized two things- first, it was useless; he was dying. And second, I had killed him; I had no regrets, and wouldn’t do it differently, given the chance. 

I let my hands drop to my sides, and listened to the dying man’s words. 

“You’ve grown… to be a fine Ackerman…” he said, his eyes dull and sightless; his mouth curved into a vaguely mocking smile, “... taking out your own kin. So… I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you… two things. 

“You’re little friend… Armin… he’s alive. 

“And… I know where he is.” 

Those were the two things that Kenny Ackerman told me, as he lay bleeding out in the grass. And then he closed his eyes and died, taking the rest of his secrets to the grave- including, I noted ruefully, Armin’s whereabouts. 

_The bastard..._

All of it, even his final words, could have been a lie manufactured to cause me pain. I never lost sight of that. But I had nothing to lose by believing them; they wouldn’t change my current course of action. With Kenny Ackerman dead, I could bare even less delay than before, and walked quickly over to where Eren was lying. I took a moment to appreciate the flush of life in his cheeks; the rise and fall of his chest, contrasting with the stillness of the dead man behind me. 

_Kenny may well have been my blood… but Eren is my family. And he’s still with me; still needs me._

_… Armin, too… he needs me._

I hoisted the unconscious Shifter up onto the front of my horse’s saddle, patting the stallion’s neck before mounting him myself. 

“Let’s go- straight on to Shiganshina.” 

The animal obeyed unquestioningly, and we were soon galloping through painfully familiar trees. I felt a cool sensation of relief flood my whole body; safety, I knew, lay just beyond the ridge. I could see part of Wall Maria poking up above the treeline. 

“We’re almost home, Eren,” I whispered. “We’re almost home, and then--” 

The words died in my throat as we emerged from the trees, and I pulled my horse to a stop instinctually. But there was no conscious thought in my head- not as I stared, mouth agape, at Shiganshina. 

Or rather, what was left of it. 

_”... The safest place... in the whole world... even that isn't for sure, not with a war going on.”_

Wall Maria, a quick glance confirmed, was still mostly intact. But the Shiganshinan Walls- the Walls that had cared for us as children; that had taught us how to use 3D Maneuver Gear; the Walls that had seemed unshakable? They were gone- nothing more than a pile of rubble around a wrecked collection of houses. I felt tears sting my eyes, and for once I didn’t fight them; I didn’t have the strength to. 

_My… home… no… not again…_

“Who… would…?” I wasn’t talking to Eren; maybe I was just thinking out loud. “We didn’t… even… want this war…” And yet there it was- my beautiful home, just as devastated as the main Walls. “... Armin… was the only one… who even…” 

_Armin._

_Armin… made himself enemies._

My heart sunk, and as it did it fell completely to the bitter mistrust that had been building and building inside me. “Armin… even this… is your doing…” 

I can honestly say that my love for him never wavered, but that only made the bitter thorns of hatred more painful. I bit my lip until I felt blood trickle down my chin, and then tightened my grip on Eren. 

“Armin… you’ve backed me into a corner, I hope you realize. I hope… you’ve accounted for this action of mine, in your infallible plans.” I turned around in my saddle; gazed back the way I had come. 

“I know… you’re alive. And I know you’ll come for us. But Armin, this war is not my war- you’ve made it yours, but it will never be mine. 

“And if I must, I will fight you to keep you from destroying yourself- and destroying us. So come home, my darling boy. 

“Come find us in Shiganshina.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed~ I'll be posting a commentary (I think I'll do an audio commentary again...) on my tumblr later, for those who like those. I'll see you guys in the next chapter~ 
> 
> (See if you guys can guess what happened to Shiganshina~)


	15. The Loyalties of Shifters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After far too long a wait (/casually begs for forgiveness), chapter 15! 
> 
> I'll be uploading the usual commentary to my tumblr, 3dmgshenanigans, sometime later today. So be sure to drop by! 
> 
> Also, I've officially started a writing blog if any of you would like to check that out.... it's pens-and-pawprints dot tumblr. :3 
> 
> But first and foremost, I do hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Many Titan Shifters experienced visions- of the past, of the present, and of the future. This type of Sight was one of the most common titan powers, and yet one of the hardest to control; most went through their entire lives without mastering it.

I was no different, and I saw many things- dreams, visions, premonitions -during my crystalline coma.

_Adrenaline that wasn’t mine flooded my whole body, and I saw Levi flying toward me- toward us; toward Armin. I knew that the Corporal wouldn’t make it in time; I knew that I was going into the titan’s mouth, one way or another._

_That didn’t stop me- didn’t stop Armin -from reaching out toward the Corporal, a desperate shriek of his name on our lips._

_I saw Levi’s ravaged face as our fingers slipped through one another’s. For an instant, I felt his pain- the pain of failure, of seeing hope vanish right before his eyes, and I felt my heart ache for him. Then I remembered that I was the one who was about to die, that Armin was the one about to die, and my vision went black as the titan’s jaws closed around him._

_But the horrible dream didn’t end there._

_I felt Armin’s body strike the wet surface of the titan’s tongue as if it were my own; felt myself scream with his lungs. And, despite the complete hopelessness of the situation, I scrabbled at the moist, undulating organ with him, desperate to get a grip. I felt the sensation of slipping farther and farther back, until suddenly we were slipping not_ back _but instead_ down _._

__No... no... no!! Not yet, not yet...!!! _That was Armin’s voice, ringing in my head and all around me. I felt his agony as he thought of all the sacrifices that would be for nothing if he died; all that was left of his plan that might never come to fruition._

__So much… there’s still so much that I have to do... so many people that are counting on me…!! __

_He saw us all- he saw Eren, and Mikasa… and I saw even myself through his blinded eyes, because in that moment he was thinking of me. Then Levi- he remembered even those like Corporal Levi that didn’t want to admit how much they needed him._

__Levi… tried so hard to save me… _again I heard his voice, as if an invisible audience to his thoughts,_ because he knew that- he knew that I was humanity’s best hope at survival, that I was the only one who could lead the advance on the titans….!

I’m the only one who can make the world a safe place for those I care about…!

I cannot die, not yet! __

_Our fingers dug into the titan’s flesh; it should have been painful, I knew. Armin was remembering, vaguely, the pain of digging Eren out of his titan years ago; of his skin burning and blackening. But now there was only a muted sense of heat rushing out around his fingers- around mine -and he managed to halt his fall. I felt the titan’s throat convulse around him as it tried to swallow, and instead choked on his body._

_“Not... yet...!” Now his voice was stronger- screamed aloud, not just a thought, and roughened by the burning air he was breathing. I felt him begin to slip again; dug my fingers in harder, and felt his nails begin to tear away from their beds. I felt his feet scrambling desperately, but the titan’s throat was too slick, undulating as if trying to choke the life out of him- of me. Saliva soaked him through to the bone, seeping into me even across the time and space that separated us; his face twisted with desperation, and mine mirrored it._

__I’m not... I’m not going to make it...! __

_A sob built in my throat as the thought exploded in his mind, echoing through mine. Tears were spilling down my cheeks, although they evaporated almost instantly in the heat surrounding him._ I’m not going to make it I’m going to die I’m going to die I’mgoingtodie...!! I’m going to die and I’ve let everyone down and oh god no no _no_! There’s... so much... I... still... have... to... do...!! __

_And then, in the middle of his breakdown, we both felt the cold metal strike his face._

_Reflexively he grabbed for it, releasing one hand’s grip on the titan’s flesh. Instantly he began to slide downwards again, but suddenly it didn’t matter, because he had a blade_ I have a blade I have a blade...!! __

_Stabbing frantically downwards, he sunk the weapon into the titan’s throat. I felt the creature’s roar rumble around him, but he wasn’t slipping anymore; we had stopped. I felt his body lurch upward, awkward and weak, and he grabbed wildly with his free hand, pulling us up just a few inches before driving the blade in deeper._

__”That’s the way…” _I held no hope that he could hear me, but I said it anyway._ … That’s the way…

Armin! __

_The titan roared again, and I felt him force the weapon in harder and harder still until his arm was buried in the titan’s flesh up to his elbow. It was choking, now, frantically, and swallowing repeatedly, but Armin wasn’t about to let go. I willed his body to match his conviction; tried, desperately, across the space that separated us, to lend him strength._

_And then I felt the blade slide forward easily, a rush of cool air flooding in around his arm. I felt him- and perhaps myself as well -give a sob of relief, and then he was working his other hand into the wound. I felt the skin on his hands begin to curl and blacken with the sizzling heat, but he ignored it as he widened the hole. The titan began gagging, and suddenly it was actually helping him, clawing at its own throat in an attempt to get us out. Coughing, gasping for the fresh air that he hadn’t realized he needed so desperately, Armin writhed madly toward the outside world, still slashing clumsily with the blade._

_It was the titan itself that pulled us out of its throat, spasming and twitching wildly as it gagged. Armin slashed desperately at its fingers, cutting away enough of its flesh to force it to drop him. Then I felt him scrambling through the grass, both of us nearly blind as he crawled into the shadow of a tree and tried to bury himself amid its roots._

I'm certain that it was the Ape Titan that woke me.

But I’d like to think it was, instead, _him_ , and his need; the pain that I had felt in the vision.

I opened my eyes; felt my limbs flex within my crystal prison. It didn’t magically melt around me; in fact I was terrified, for a moment, that I would suffocate before I had a chance to free myself. But I managed to claw my way out before that happened and collapsed forward onto my hands and knees, gasping for breath and trying to quell my trembling. My whole body was screaming- for oxygen, for water, for food, for warmth. But I knew I wouldn’t die; not yet.

Living just, for the moment, hurt like _hell_.

_What… was that…? The past? The present? The future?_

_… Armin…_

Getting shakily to my feet, I looked around; definitely underground, most likely in some Survey Corps base. I half-stumbled, half-crawled to the door, and found it locked. Backing up slightly, I kicked the doorknob; it didn't budge. I tried again, but when I raised my leg to kick, my other knee gave out and I hit the ground with a painful _thud_. Hissing softly in pain, I curled slightly in on myself, one hand on my bruised backside.

_But… Armin... I've got... to get out of here...!_

I was halfway upright to try again when the door opened suddenly, making me jump back in as best a defensive crouch as I could manage. Then all I could do was stare at my old classmates dumbly, trying to process what was going on.

"Annie!" Marco exclaimed, although Jean had instantly fixed himself between us.

"Are you the one causing this?!" he demanded, and after a stunned moment I narrowed my eyes.

"Do I look like I could be causing _anything_ right now?" I asked irritably. "I just woke up, and I can barely stand. Now what, exactly, are you even talking about?"

"As if we would tell _you_!" Jean spat, but then another person was shoving past him.

"Annie!"

"Mina...!" My old friend was alive- had survived the Battle of Trost. I felt a flood of relief before anything, and stood to greet her.

"Stay back!" Jean barked, with enough authority to make me thump back down onto the ground. He took a threatening step forward, and I noticed for the first time that he was trembling. "What do you know about what's going on?!"

"I don't know a damned thing!" I hissed, growing quickly frustrated. "I heard a scream and it woke me up, but beyond that I know _nothing_!"

Jean looked uncertain for a moment, his eyes flashing with something like panic. "You've tried to kill us before," he said at last, and I nodded.

"A simple apology would be woefully insufficient," I said dryly, "so I won't bother. But perhaps you can understand this: whatever woke me up isn't something to simply disregard." I paused, wondering if I should reveal it or not; eventually, I decided that it would be my best bet of gaining Jean's trust, albeit partially and temporarily. "If it woke me, it'll probably wake up the titans within the Walls."

Jean surprised me by giving a nervous laugh. "No shit..." he muttered, reaching up and gripping the back of his neck. I forced myself to my feet, and this time he didn't tell me to stay down.

"What do you mean? You know about the Wall Titans?!"

"You'd have to be blind not to," Jean muttered. "They _are_ waking up."

"What’s going on?!" I demanded, although I had a horrid feeling that I already knew most of it. “Tell me!”

"..." Jean shook his head, but suddenly Marco had pushed his way slightly forward. I saw, with a sickening lurch of my stomach, that he was missing his right arm.

"We have no reason to hide it," he said simply. "Armin never said it in as many words, but it was probably the Ape Titan he's always talking about. He's gone to find the Survey Corps, because they were out on an Expedition when it happened. Wall Rose fell- dissolved, really -about an hour ago; Sina began to do the same a few minutes ago."

I tried not to be surprised, but my shaky legs gave out again anyway. Jean, his expression softening with distress and pity, began to speak again.

"Armin set up this bunker for us to take shelter..." He laughed softly. "I guess he saw something like this coming. He left me in charge, with orders to salvage what I could, save who I could, and then retreat down here with the rest of the 104th and our loyalist allies."

I narrowed my eyes. "But he's out there, looking for the Ape."

Jean nodded, then gave a dark chuckle. "Although I guess he isn't 'out there;' there is no in or out anymore."

I nodded. "And you're going to take shelter down... here? Wherever here is?"

To my surprise, the boy shook his head. "No. I'm going back up there to try to facilitate evacuations. We're going to get as many people Underground in Sina as we can."

I was momentarily surprised by his convictions; the Jean that I had known was not so... mature; so brave. But in this case, no matter how mature or brave, he may as well be writing his own death sentence.

"Even Underground will only be a temporary refuge," I said; Jean surprised me yet again by nodding.

"I know that. But... if we can just hold out long enough for Armin to find the Survey Corps and take out the Ape Titan, I know we have a chance."

He was pale; he was trembling. But he was determined.

"Lend me a set of Gear," I said bluntly, getting to my feet once again with an effort. "I'm going after Armin, and I'll make sure he succeeds."

Jean blinked, but then his expression hardened. "You were trying to kill him- and us! -at Trost. Why the hell would you switch sides now?"

"There are no 'sides,' anymore, Jean!" I snapped. "You're either a human or you're a titan- you're either for the survival of humanity or against it. There is no longer a third option, that self-absorbed dimension where Armin and I fought at Trost."

"And you're telling me that you want to fight for humanity now, is that it?" Jean demanded. "You're as much titan as you are human!"

"I am _not_!" I hissed, taking as aggressive a step forward as I could manage. "You have no idea what you're talking about- _or_ what you're dealing with! One unfavorable plot twist and you could end up more of a titan than you fancy me!"

Jean recoiled as though I had stung him, but then he looked over suddenly at Marco.

_"Would you rather..."_ He didn't say it out loud, but I saw the words on his lips.

"Would you rather... what?" I asked softly, and Jean looked over at me thoughtfully- still mistrustful, but now open and vulnerable.

"It was a question... that Armin asked me... a long time ago."

"I'll find him," I said. "Jean... asking for your trust would be far too much. However... you must know that Armin and Eren together are the only hope that _any_ of us have left."

Jean looked away from me; gazed at Marco again for a long moment.

"You know what the right thing to do is, Jean," the freckled boy said quietly. "Armin trusted you with these decisions, and so do I."

At last Jean looked back at me, his eyes limpid with distress and fear. But his nod was firm.

"Come with us. We'll find you some Gear and supplies."

I nodded, bracing myself as I followed him. My body felt shaky and weak, but that was slowly fading; I wondered if the Shifters who had been imprisoned so long ago in the Walls were experiencing a similar sickness. _Many of them have probably gone mad…_

"Here."

Mina Carolina had materialized at my shoulder; she was holding out a small loaf of bread.

"Armin stockpiled enough to last us a long time," she explained, when I was reluctant. "Please- for strength."

Greatful, I accepted the food and tore into it. It helped almost immediately, banishing at least the hollow feeling in my stomach.

"Thank you."

My old friend smiled at me- uncertainly, but openly. And I found myself smiling back, if only to show my appreciation.

“Here.”

Jean was holding out a set of 3D Maneuver Gear, and I took it. As I was fixing it into place, I glanced over at Mina.

“Do you have a hair tie I could use?” The question was so preciously mundane; it was the most soothing thing I could have said.

And my friend undid one of her own pigtails, holding out the stretchy little band.

“Thanks.” I swept my hair up into a bun with shaky fingers. Jean was holding out something else now, a small backpack. “Don’t waste your supplies on me.”

“We won’t need them if Armin’s plans fail,” my old comrade said bluntly. “You might not be worthy of forgiveness or trust, but you might do _something_ to help him, if you can find him. So if we can do anything to up your chances of doing that... “ He trailed off, and for a moment I caught a glimpse of the same irritable, awkward Jean Kirstein that I had known during training. “Just take the damn supplies, okay?”

And so I nodded, taking the small backpack and slinging it over my shoulder. “I’ll find him.”

“You better.” His voice cracked on the last word, and Marco placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. Jean looked away, then, and stormed off, motioning for his comrades to follow. “We’re going to help with the evacuations. You better be on your way by the time we get back.”

The rest of the 104th, along with a handful of Military Policemen, trailed after him- after Jean Kirstein, a fine leader despite appearances. Mina lingered for a moment, but then Millus pulled her away; she shot me one last smile, a smile that tried to be reassuring and succeeded only in being uncertain, and then the lot of them were gone. I let out a soft breath, wondering if I would ever see them again.

_Not if I can’t find Armin…_

_… and not if he’s dead by the time I find him…_

I shoved the last thought roughly from my mind, trying to prevent the terrible vision from flooding in all over again. But he had been alive at the vision’s end, so even if that horrible thing had already happened… perhaps…

_... Please… dying on me now would be too cruel… Armin._

… … …

I traveled all that day, making my way through the crumbling and dying Walls; flew through the night, leaving them behind. I slept for a few hours before dawn, for strength; ate some of the rations that Jean had somehow seen fit to give me. And then I was searching again, for the field of golden flowers that I had seen, not allowing myself to think about what I might find.

Dawn was beginning to fade into mid-morning when I heard what I thought was the whir of 3D Maneuver Gear. Feeling anxiety and excitement tighten in my stomach, I pursued the sound, all the while wondering what, exactly I was chasing; perhaps just a dream or an echo. But then the clearing reared up in front of me, and I stumbled to the ground as the air fled my lungs.

He lay at the foot of a tree amid a patch of golden wildflowers, the kind that only grew Outside, his tiny body curled slightly in on itself. The gently glowing petals and bright green leaves cradling him contrasted sharply with the rich red hue of the blood pooling like a halo around his head; the sickening maroon of his hands, the tattered flesh of them seeping a strange black liquid; the vivid scarlet of an open wound on his hip.

"Oh gods, Armin... what have you done to yourself now...?" For a moment the only movement I could see was that of the plants, stirred by the breeze; I couldn't see his breath. I dropped down beside him, my heart quickening to a nearly frantic pace as my hands hovered uselessly over him, uncertain; terrified to disturb him lest he crumble to dust.

Then, there was the flutter of his chest; the barest breath stirring the petals closest to his slightly open mouth. Feeling relief crash over me, I bent forward and placed one hand gently on his thin shoulder; felt the bones, sharp beneath his skin, although not as prominent as I remembered. There was a soft curve to his face that hadn't been there before, and a strength to his limbs; he looked far more beautiful than he ever had, as he lay dying among those flowers.

The boy stirred. I was vividly reminded of the very first time he had stirred beneath my hands, as I had bandaged his wounds high above a titan-infested forest. I brushed the hair from his face, just as I had that first day; I drew him onto my lap, slipping my jacket off and tearing it into strips. With the careful tenderness that I had thought was long lost to me, I wrapped his bleeding head; tended to his horrifically burned hands and then to his hip- a bullet wound, perhaps. And then I simply held him, wondering if he would ever wake again or if I was sitting vigil for the dead.

Armin Arlert woke slowly, but not disorientedly. As soon as his eyes opened, he knew where he was; he saw and knew me.

"Hey, Annie."

I let myself smile. "You don't look surprised to see me."

He shook his head slightly. "I'm not."

"All within your calculations?"

"I had suspected, yes."

I almost smacked him. "Of course."

"Of course. ... Though it was more of a hope than a suspicion, really."

I narrowed my eyes, and he gave a soft, huffing chuckle. "Well, what now, then? Surely you have a plan."

"Mm..." he murmured, closing his eyes with a sigh. "And this time... I get to count you as an ally."

I softened further- with sadness and with affection. "Just this once, Armin Arlert. I'll be your pawn just this once."

Although he didn't open his eyes, he shook his head slightly; held up his hand. Unsure of what he wanted, I took it, and was just as startled as I had been the first time when he brought my hand to his lips; kissed its back.

"You, Annie Leonheart, are not merely a pawn- you are my queen."

... ... ...

Finding what was left of the Survey Corps came first- more importantly, finding the Coordinate. I thought that the nostalgia of that fact alone would be enough to kill me; if that didn't do it, though, there was the added feel of Armin on my back. He was larger than he had been those two years ago, but he still felt as light as air, and he stayed perfectly still as I glided through the trees.

"Humanity is in chaos," I informed him, in case he didn't already know. "The Wall Titans are waking, one by one, and they're mad with hunger and stasis sickness."

"I had suspected as much," he murmured. "But sacrifice is necessary, now more so than ever. More than that, _risk_ is necessary."

"As much as it pains me to admit," I said, "I don't grasp what your plan is. What could you possibly stand to gain from waking the Wall Titans?"

"This is no plan of mine," Armin replied, sounding sore. "This is the Ape's doing- and it wasn't calculated on my part. I _had_ plans- and then the Ape..." he trailed off thoughtfully. "Perhaps you can shed some light on this- I had someone tell me that the 'Ape's grief' brought the Walls down. This person also deliberately referred to the Ape with male pronouns."

"... You killed the king, right?" I verified; I had had a suspicion about that part of his plan for a while, and one of my visions within the crystal had all but confirmed it. He made an affirmative sound. "... Well, some Shifters have premonitions... and others have real-time visions. I wouldn't be surprised if the Ape had full mastery of both of these abilities, so perhaps that's what your vague informant was referring to?"

"Mm... but even if the Monarchy created the titans... why would the Ape 'mourn' for the king?"

"You've got me there," I said with a sigh. "I was never working with all that much information to begin with, at least where our origins or the Monarchy were concerned. I've long thought that Bertholdt was given more details, but I've never been able to find proof of that, let alone get them out of him."

“You knew that the King was the orchestrator of the whole thing?” 

“Yes,” I admitted, “in a way. I knew that the Monarchy created titans and Shifters.”

“Do you know why?”

I paused, then shook my head. “No, not exactly. As an army, I think- in the Shifters’ case, at least.”

"More or less. Would you like to know?”

“Very much.”

I felt him take a deep breath before diving into his tale, my heart hammering with the reawakening of a lifelong curiosity. “Before humanity entered the Walls, we were engaged in what was, in the old times, called a 'World War,' with the Reiss family trying to gain control over all of humanity. The titans were a biological weapon that they unleashed, to that end.

“They ended up having a harder time of it than they thought they would, and eventually settled for herding what was left of humanity into the Walls and ruling over that. They didn't care how many died, as long as they ended up the supreme rulers of all that was left of humanity."

It made a strange sort of sense. "So... the Shifters... my village...?"

"The last holdout of a rebellion force- the last that I know of, at least; there could be more. Grisha Jaeger grew up in your village, and came to live inside the Walls on a Mission similar to yours- obtain the Coordinate."

That part of the story I knew. "But then he cut communication..." I murmured. "And so the Village sent us..."

"Exactly."

"How did you learn all of this?" I asked, my voice breathy as I struggled for understanding. Armin seemed awfully calm; disturbingly so. Although, in retrospect, that didn't surprise me at all.

"Most of it came from one of my loyalist MP informants, a girl named Hitch," he said. "She and I think in similar, warped ways. She's been lying with a certain nobleman- one of Grisha’s old comrades, still in hiding after all these years and still waiting for instructions from the Village. She always thought that his ramblings were nothing more than madman’s gibberish, but I knew differently."

I grimaced. "One of your 'loyalist informants' is an MP slut?" I asked distastefully, and Armin laughed slightly.

"Yes. She and I think similarly," he repeated, which for some reason irritated me. "Also, she has no compelling reason to lie or twist the intel she acquires for me, unlike most people."

"Granted," I said reluctantly. "But can you really trust that sort of vital information from someone like that?"

“People will do anything if the right carrot is dangled in front of them- I don’t, in fact, trust her not to betray me, but I do trust her not to betray her own heart’s desire, which happens to be the very thing I’ve offered her.”

I nearly laughed. "You are a nasty piece of work, Armin Arlert."

"I honestly wish I could say the same about you," he replied. "But I can't, not honestly; so I won't."

I shook my head with a sigh. "You never change..." I was about to ask another question- for he seemed to be in one of those rare moods when he saw fit to actually answer –but never got the chance. He strained up on my back; saw it, too, then.

"Smoke signals! Red smoke signals!"

"And a hell of a lot of them," I murmured. "Who's in the expedition?"

"Almost everyone- Hanji, and Erwin, of course, and Eren and Mikasa. Levi may or may not have met up with them by now."'

I frowned; what would we do if Eren _wasn’t_ with the Formation for whatever reason? _Does Armin... have a contingency for_ that _...?_ For some reason, I didn't want to ask him.

I burst from the trees and was immediately forced to drop down, narrowly avoiding a flying... _horse_?! The titan that had flung the unfortunate creature rounded on us, groaning in that disguising way that Commons had, and charged.

I cursed; dodged lower still and hit the ground, darting immediately to the side. Ducking into the shelter of a tree trunk, I set Armin down. "I'm going to Shift! Stay here!"

"I'm coming with you!" he said immediately, and I knew that he could not be dissuaded, lack of Maneuver Gear notwithstanding. Sighing, I took a step backwards, slicing my finger and letting the transformation take me. It was shaky at best, considering my weakness and the length of time it had been since I had last Shifted, but my body- _both_ my bodies -knew what to do.

As soon as I blinked open my titan's eyes, I crouched and scooped up Armin from the ground. He clung willingly to me, then hopped up onto my shoulder and climbed into my hair. I felt him tie a strand around his waist and then settle in the space behind my ear- a strange feeling for me, but I knew that it was how he usually rode with Eren. So I braced myself, took a shallow breath, and turned to fight.

The titan that had attacked us a moment ago had stumbled backwards with the force of my transformation, but now it was lunging at us again. I braced my legs, meeting it squarely and knocking its head off its shoulders with a well-timed punch. Then I charged into the midst of the formation itself, democratically careful to not trample on any Survey Corpsmen as I plowed through titan after titan. Several Corpsmen tried at attack me, and though I did kill one I managed to elude the others without taking action against them.

Then, suddenly, there were no more Commons- just the humans and I. I took a step back, eyes sweeping the tattered ranks of Corpsmen, trying to predict any attacks that could be coming. Eren had not been fighting; he was likely not among them, as I had feared. Besides that, there were approximately fifty raggedy soldiers, and I felt a brief flare of admiration that so many had managed to survive. Now they stood, uncertain, watching me as I watched them.

"Annie Leonheart."

It was Erwin Smith- I was unsurprised. He emerged from the crowd, sitting straight and proud on his horse, his head held high as he gazed up at me.

"Let me down." Now that was Armin, in my ear. I rumbled an affirmation, holding up my hands in the universal "I mean you no harm" sign and lowering myself to my knees. Then I reached up and swept back my hair; felt Armin wriggle as he leaned up- and probably waved, knowing him.

"Commander Erwin! I'm glad to see you're well! Annie," he added quietly, "I need help down. I don't have my Gear."

I knew full well that he needed my help to get down; the fact of the matter was, I didn't _want_ him to get down. The second he got down, he would be vulnerable; I never wanted him out of my sight- no, I never wanted him out of my _hands_ again. But I also knew that I would never be able to protect Armin Arlert, not so totally, and that trying would only chase him away from me. So I reached up and offered him my palm, lowering him and letting him jump down onto the ground. 

"Ar _miiiiiiin_!!"

That was the scientist, Hanji, rushing forward with her second-in-command on her tail. He managed to catch her and hold her back before she reached Armin, allowing Commander Erwin Smith and the Corpsman Mike to step more calmly forward.

"No need to bristle like that. Annie is on our side, Commander." I wondered if I was imagining the honest joy in Armin's voice when he informed them of my new allegiance. "We're both here to help. Are Eren, Mikasa and Levi with you?"

"No," Erwin said, his voice tense. "I haven't seen Levi since we left the Walls, and Ackerman ran off with Jaeger nearly a day ago."

Armin cursed. "Mikasa... I knew she would be trouble... Do you have any idea where they could be headed?"

"They were heading South," Mike said. “I was at least able to see that.” 

"Shiganshina, then..." Armin murmured. "She wants to return to Shiganshina and ride out this war in the safety of those tiny Walls..."

"I'm surprised that she would leave you behind," Erwin said, and Armin shook his head.

"She knows I'll come after them. She trusts me to keep myself alive, at least."

There was a pause, and I felt myself fidget with impatience. Armin turned as if sensing it and met my gaze.

"Annie, come on out of that form."

I turned to Erwin. "I have... your word... that I will not be attacked?" I wasn't about to let my guard down, regardless of his answer.

Erwin looked less than pleased, but he nodded anyway. "You have my word."

So I shed my titan skin, leaving the bones to dissolve and coming up to stand beside Armin; half because I wanted to and half for the benefit of the Commander, I took his hand. Erwin raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it further.

"Come on, then. We'll get you some Gear, Armin, and both of you a horse. I assume we're riding for Shiganshina?"

"You're partially correct," Armin said, with a slight smile, and I felt his fingers tighten around mine. "But for now, operate under that assumption."

I felt a brief flare of warmth as Erwin nodded; Armin really did have the whole of humanity dancing for him, even the famed Commander Erwin Smith. I watched as the broad-shouldered man strode away, shouting orders and gathering the Survey Corps to him. I was surprised when Armin untangled our fingers in order to lay his hand on my shoulder.

"I don't know what to expect when we get to Shiganshina," he admitted. "If the Ape has beaten us there... or if Mikasa has set some cockamamie plan of her own in motion... Regardless, stay close to me."

I nodded. "I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise."

He smiled, and I felt tragic affection swamp me. Yes, he had everything under control; the only ones to survive this would be the ones who stood at his side. Erwin understood that; I understood that, albeit belatedly.

Mikasa however, for some reason, didn't seem to grasp it. I pitied her, and I pitied Armin, because he cared so deeply about her.

I mounted the palomino mare that Erwin presented me with while Armin fixed his new Gear into place. Then we were off, the two of us riding close to Erwin at the head of the formation, although I noticed that Mike was also positioned close beside me. Armin kept his gaze fixed straight ahead.

"... Levi. Tell me about Levi."

I heard the pain in Erwin's war-roughened voice, and Armin took pity on him.

"He was alive and well when we parted ways. He was in the company of an Underground thug and ex-Corpsmen by the name of Farlan. They had no trouble escaping the titans that came inches from killing me."

Erwin's expression eased slightly. "He's in good hands, then. He'll find his way back to us."

Armin smiled. "Yes, he will."

"You both have to prepare yourselves," I had to put in; I couldn't let Erwin be blindsided, and I was sure that Armin wouldn't tell him on his own. "He may come back, but as one of the enemy. Remember, the Ape Titan is roaming around doing heaven only knows what right now. If Levi comes into contact with it, even he might be helpless to resist."

"Don't underestimate Levi, girl." That was Mike, come up from beside us. "Never underestimate Levi." I turned slightly in my saddle.

"I was beaten once because I underestimated Levi," I murmured hotly. "I will not do it again."

Mike glowered at me, and I noticed, when the wind caught his shaggy bangs, that he was missing an eye. _It probably happened at Trost..._ I thought. _But titans don't take out people's eyes... so he was the one who was fighting Bertl, hmm...?_ I remembered; that was why he hadn't come to my aid.

_... Bertl... and Reiner..._

The memory made me shiver, and I glanced over at Armin. He would know, of course, if my old comrades had survived; he would certainly know. But I was afraid to ask him- I was terrified. So I settled for glaring at Mike instead.

"How did you manage to get free of your crystal?!" That was the scientist, Hanji, riding up beside us. "Could you have done it at any time? Or was there a trigger?"

I glanced at Armin; he looked mildly curious as well, so I obliged. "No, I couldn't have done it at any time. The trigger was the Ape's scream- reminiscent of the powers of the Coordinate. Rather, the Coordinate's powers are reminiscent of the Ape's, as the Ape obviously came first. It was the very first titan, you know.”

"So it's calling you all to it?" Hanji demanded, and I shook my head.

"Not necessarily. When it screamed, the sound of it resonated with my crystal and broke it. I believe it was specifically trying to wake the Wall Titans, not me."

"'Wall... Titans?'" Hanji echoed, dumbfounded; Erwin had twisted in his saddle, too, and I felt myself flush as I realized I had very little idea who exactly knew what exactly. I turned to Armin, momentarily concerned that I had upset some plan of his by mentioning the Wall Titans, but he was smirking amusedly and motioned for me to continue. I felt myself soften.

"Don't use me to fill your lackeys in on things you're too lazy to tell them about."

His smirk widened into an honest smile. "Figured that out, did you? Forgive me."

I snorted. "Naturally. But you pick up the story from there."

"The Walls, to put it simply, are made of titans," he said, diving headfirst into the explanation. "The ability that allows Annie and those like her to harden their skin and crystallize is the same ability that allowed for the creation of the Walls.

“The Monarchy created the Walls a hundred years ago to keep what remained of humanity under their control. It was they who created the Ape and the first titans; they created the first Titan Shifters to protect themselves from their own weapons, namely the Commons, and to help control humanity when the time came. However, the titans got out of control, and they were forced to abandon most of the world, retreat inside the Walls, and settle for ruling over all that was left of humanity. They used the Coordinate and one of its powers, called the Mesmer, to tamper with the populous’ memory.

"But some of the Shifters rebelled; they resisted the Monarchy and its plans, and refused to take part in the formation of the Walls or the subjugation of humanity. They gathered what small number of humans they could save, as well, and formed the Shifter Village Outside the Walls, where Annie hails from. Over the years most of this information has been lost to all, save for a handful of elders from the Shifter Village and a few of the Reiss bloodline- the true royal family."

"So how did _you_ find out all of this?" Erwin asked, although I got the distinct impression that he knew part of the answer already.

"I learned about the titans and Shifters from Grisha Jaeger's notes," Armin replied, "and most of the information about the Monarchy from my Military Police informants. Everyone, it seems, held a piece of the story; all I did, in the end, was gather them up and put them together into something cohesive."

"You're awfully talkative today, aren't you?" There was a distinct note of fondness in Erwin's voice. "Are you finally tired of bearing all this knowledge alone?"

Armin smiled wryly at him. "There is no longer a reason to keep it from any of you. In fact, it now benefits me to have you- the three of you, at least, Erwin, Hanji and Mike -well informed. The final battle will not be won simply by me and mine, but by you and the Survey Corps." His eyes met mine suddenly, and I felt my heart stop. "By Annie Leonheart, as well, and possibly more of her Shifter comrades. You all must trust her, is that understood?" 

Erwin nodded. "You know what must be done. When we stop for the night, I'll inform the Corps of what we plan to do. I'll tell them that you are to be obeyed unquestioningly."

"Thank you, Erwin." It was honest gratitude in Armin's voice, and I wondered what had passed between him and the Commander of the Survey Corps while I had been asleep.

"I'm not prepared to trust the very Titan Shifter that was responsible for so many deaths at Trost," the man called Mike said, and I looked at him over my shoulder.

"What _was_ your motivation for the attack on Trost?" Erwin asked, drawing my attention back to him before I could snap at Mike. I glanced at Armin, and he nodded.

"The Battle of Trost was an attempt to convince Armin and company to join us," I admitted, and then added, "so half the fault for that whole mess is his, you see."

"Thank you for reminding me," the boy said, although his eyes were glittering with humor. I noticed that our exchange seemed to be disturbing Erwin, and took a moment to be satisfied- Armin and I were on an entirely different level, regardless of what had passed between him and the Commander of the Survey Corps while I had been away.

"Our motivation for breaking into the Walls in the first place, however, was to find what is known as the Coordinate," I continued, knowing that that was what Erwin had really been getting at. "All we knew was that the Coordinate had, at some point, come into contact with one Grisha Jaeger, a scientist of the Shifter Village; it turned out to be his son. You know him as Eren Jaeger.

"We didn't know where Grisha had taken up residence after abandoning the Mission given to him by our Village," I continued, "but we did know he was somewhere in the Walls. So the Village sent us to find him and the Coordinate. We guessed wrong, however, when we broke into the Northern District of Maria. Grisha himself knew that his son's chances of survival in the abandoned district of Shiganshina were slim, so he sought us out and revealed the Coordinate's location voluntarily."

"Then he returned to Shiganshina," Armin picked up the story, "and triggered Eren's Shifter powers. I don't know if he intended to bring him back to the Shifter Trio or if he intended to make another break for it, but either way he never got the chance; Eren killed him the first time he transformed."

"When Grisha didn't return, we decided that I should go to Shiganshina myself," I jumped in. "I was suppose to kidnap the Coordinate so that we could take him back to the Village, but Armin here foiled those plans. I was sent back to Wall Rose thoroughly defeated; thoroughly enough that we didn't try again, but waited instead for the Coordinate to come to us in the main Walls, as Armin had promised they would."

"But what is the Coordinate?" Hanji, beside us, demanded. "What powers does he have? Why is he so important?!"

I glanced at Armin, and he inclined his head; my move. I appreciated his discretion, but I had nothing more to hide.

"The Coordinate is the only one who can stand against the Ape Titan," I said, "and therefore the only one who can truly defeat the titans. The Shifter Village has survived for a hundred years, waiting for an opportunity to seize the Coordinate. Without a Coordinate, we couldn't fight the Monarchy. But there's only one alive at any given time, and the Monarchy was very careful to keep transferring the power to one of their own."

"Transferring the power?!" Hanji cut in excitedly, and I chose to humor her.

"Every titan power, from simple Shifting to crystallization to the Mesmer, is transferred through cannibalism. That's what drives the Commons' urge to devour humans- they're unconsciously looking for Shifters so that they can regain their own human form."

The human scientist made a strange noise that sounded like a dying animal, her face contorted in some unnatural expression of excitement. I grimaced.

"So the Monarchy had the original Coordinate..." Erwin began, and I nodded.

"Yes. And so they've been able to choose the new Coordinate every time a need arises."

"So h-h-h-how did Eren m-manage to get the p-p-p-powers?!" Hanji asked, practically drooling.

"Several members of the Shifter Village managed to infiltrate Sina through the years, not the least significant of which being the physician Grisha Jaeger." Armin took up the narrative again, and I was surprised that he had a firm grasp of things I had only the barest concept of. "I made contact with one of the spies who still resides in Sina through his Military Policewoman consort, Hitch. He’s been undercover for nearly thirty years, a comrade of Dr. Jaeger, their original mission being to steal the Coordinate.

"And they finally managed to do it, just about seventeen years ago. The problem was that, as soon as they did, Grisha Jaeger absconded with her body and took it back with him to Shiganshina. It was there that he raised his son to be the new Coordinate, feeding him the flesh of the previous Coordinate and all the while dreading the day that those of the Shifter Village would track him down."

"Why would he do that...?" Erwin asked softly. "Why would he defect, only to draw the war to his very doorstep by instilling Eren with the powers?"

"War is a matter of survival, Commander," Armin said softly. "You of all people should know this. He knew that whichever side possessed the Coordinate world be the one to survive, and he wanted safety for himself."

"Why not give himself the powers, then?" Hanji asked. "I don't know if I'd be able to resist, given the chance."

"He had no idea how it would turn out," Armin said, with a wry smirk. "Not only had he never attempted to turn a regular human into a Shifter, but he was working with two year old preserved flesh. He didn't want to risk his own health with such untested science."

"So he tested it on his son instead..." Erwin murmured, and Armin nodded.

"He wasn't completely cold, though," the blonde said softly. "He wrote, in his notes, that he had grown unexpectedly attached to Eren, and to his wife. Originally he had planned to kill Carla and awaken Eren's powers when he was ten years old, but...

“... He couldn't do it, when the time came."

All of us fell silent, then, even the scientist Hanji, and we remained that way until we stopped for the night. No one wanted to add even more weight to what had passed between us- least of all, it seemed to me, Armin.

... ... ...

"You should get some rest."

Armin looked up at me; smiled. "I took my rest earlier, before you found me. For now, I'll keep watch."

"You were unconscious," I said dryly. "That doesn't count as rest."

He didn't move, so I sighed and sat down beside him. He scooted closer until he could press himself against me, and I against him.

"I'm so glad that you're here with me, Annie," he breathed. "The world is falling apart around us, but I haven't felt this safe since the week I spent with you."

I reached up to tangle my fingers in his rough, golden hair. "How you can feel safe at all in this world is beyond me."

"I know you'll look after me, Annie. You'll look after me as if I really was blind."

I blinked, surprised that he would bring up his deception at a time like this. "How did you play the part so convincingly?" I asked. "I've never been able to figure it out. More of your mind over matter?"

"Partially." His eyes were closed, and he pressed his head into my hand until I began to massage his scalp gently with my fingers. "I was blind for a short time, though, back in Shiganshina, so I knew exactly how to act from experience."

I felt my heart sting. "Starvation?"

"Not quite. I accidentally got some chemicals from Grisha's lab in my eyes."

I snorted at the unexpectedly amusing thought. "You little klutz."

We fell silent, for a moment, and I felt him relax further into me. It was, according to the moon, an hour or two later when at last he fell asleep, pressed against me, and I kept watch for the rest of the night.

… … …

Armin woke before the sun was up. I had been dozing lightly, aware of my own possibly damning physical fatigue, but I woke instantly when he moved.

"... You let me fall asleep."

"You needed the rest."

He glowered, and I smacked him lightly in the forehead. "Don't you furrow your brow at me."

He shook his head as if disoriented by my smack. "Don't let me fall asleep when there's a watch to be kept, then."

"I'll _sedate_ you when there's a watch you don't have to keep, if you won't be reasonable."

He scowled at me, but Erwin approached us before the squabble could continue. Armin rose and brushed himself off; I followed suit.

"Commander."

"We need to know what you plan to do, when we reach Shiganshina," Erwin said, after a brief greeting to the both of us. "We'll be there before noon at the pace we’ve been going."

"Well, noon might be jumping the proverbial gun," Armin said. "I'd like to arrive approximately an hour or two from sundown."

Erwin's eyebrows arched, but all he did was nod. "I see."

"There are three possibilities, so far as I see them," Armin continued. "First, Mikasa is there and has set some sort of trap or otherwise put a plan of her own into action. Second, some other enemy is awaiting us, possibly with Mikasa and Eren hostage or otherwise under their control. Or third, the Ape has destroyed Shiganshina completely and no one is waiting there."

"And you have plans for all three?" Erwin rumbled; Armin nodded.

"All of them begin the same, through- I will enter Shiganshina alone, and signal back as to what I find." 

I shook my head instantly. "No. No, you aren't doing that."

Armin gave me a baleful look. "Whether Mikasa or some other enemy is waiting for us, I'll be too important to them to kill outright. If I need help, I'll signal for it. I can handle myself at least that well."

"I don't like it," Erwin rumbled, "but I agree that it's the wisest approach, with how uncertain the situation is."

Armin nodded. "Good. Excellent. I'm going to have a word with Hanji, now. As I said, we won't be leaving until much later in the day." And then he was walking away. I made to follow him, but Erwin's broad hand on my shoulder stopped me. I bristled at the contact, but his expression wasn't hostile or even critical.

"I want to speak with you for a moment. It's about this Shiganshina plan."

And so I found myself seated with Commander Erwin Smith, speaking peacefully over a breakfast of hardtack and fruit preserves.

"I think Armin knows more than he's telling us."

I scoffed. "He always does. I thought you'd be used to that by now."

Erwin grimaced. "I am, but I'm speaking more specifically than that. I think he knows exactly what's waiting for us in Shiganshina, and I wanted to know if you had any insight."

I shook my head. "No, although I did get that feeling, too. My best guess is that he's expecting Mikasa, and he thinks he has a good handle on what her plan is."

Erwin nodded. "I suppose that's reasonable... but if that's the case, why not just tell us as much?"

"Perhaps he thinks he's protecting Mikasa," I offered. "He still cares deeply about her."

"I've taken that into account," Erwin murmured. "But he's seen that we're willing to work with _you_ , a once-hostile Shifter, at his word. Why would he feel the need to conceal Mikasa's sins?"

"He's much more protective of her than he is of me," I replied, trying not to feel bitter about but instead proud of the fact. "He knows I'm capable of handling myself, but he feels protective and possessive of Mikasa."

The Commander nodded slightly, and then sighed. "For all the time I've spent with him, there's still so much I don't understand about him."

I couldn't help a small smirk. "I feel your pain."

And we left it just at that, each finishing our breakfast in silence and watching the trio of Hanji, Moblit, and our dear Armin dart excitedly back and forth across the camp, engaged in fate only knew what strange, mad science.

… … …

We set out several hours after noon.

I was feeling a bit abandoned, to be entirely honest; Armin had been speaking to Hanji the entire morning, and even now that we were riding they had their heads together and their horses galloping dangerously close to one another. He had briefly gone over his smoke signal cues for the Shiganshina plan with us, but otherwise I had barely seen him. That left me to ride beside Erwin Smith, since I didn’t trust the rest of the Survey Corps to do anything more welcoming than casually stab me in the back of the neck.

As we approached Shiganshina, though, he returned to my side. And as we rode, I became increasingly aware of the concern making his eyes shine eerily; of the way his hands were trembling just slightly around the reins.

“Are you alright?”

He shook his head; looked down at one of his bandaged hands. I had been privy to Hanji examining them and changing the bandages earlier that morning. “She said that most of the nerve endings had been fried.”

I blinked. “Meaning?”

“Meaning I shouldn’t really be able to grasp things,” he explained, “let alone ride… let alone handle 3D Maneuver Gear.”

My mouth fell open. “Are you seriously telling me that you _can’t use 3D Maneuver Gear_?” I asked in disbelief. “And you’re still planning on going into Shiganshina alone?”

“There’s no proof one way or another,” he said, a bit huffily. “I haven’t tried to use it at any point as of yet. Please don’t tell Commander Smith,” he added. “I don’t want to have him fretting over me, of all things.”

“This is… this is absurd!” I snapped at last. “You’re in no condition to be up and moving around, let alone going into such a dangerous--!”

“When did you become such a mother hen?” he cut me off, surprisingly harsh. “I can take care of myself; you know that!”

“And yet you yourself admitted that I’d always take care of you- as if you were blind!” I retorted, and saw him flinch. “Armin, I care about you! I can’t just sit back and watch as you continue to slowly destroy yourself and… and gamble with your _life_ when the cards are stacked so overwhelmingly against you!”

“Which is why I’ve done everything I can to stack the cards in my favor,” he said softly, and then looked away. Frustrated, I grit my teeth to keep from snapping at him again.

“You should be a bit gentler with your body,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. “Don’t you care about what happens to you a year or two down the road?”

And Armin Arlert answered simply, “No, I don’t.”

I felt, in that moment, like crying. I didn’t, of course, but perhaps I might have had we been having such a conversation in private. As it was, I spurred my horse on ahead of him, pulling up beside Erwin Smith to avoid having to look at the poor child I cared so deeply about- the child who was prepared to give up his future to win this wretched war.

_Doesn’t he care about_ my _future, if not his own? Hasn’t he thought about what it would be like for me- for Eren; for Mikasa –to lose him after all of this?_

“What’s the matter?”

Erwin Smith’s rumbling voice caught me by surprise; I glanced over at him, and then back at Armin. The boy was riding with his head down.

“Armin is being stupid.”

“Why is it so easy for me to believe that?” The Commander of the Survey Corps sighed; didn’t take his eyes from our forward path. “But for some reason we still follow him, no matter how stupid he is.”

“I wonder why…” I murmured, but I knew; I did know.

It was because Armin, with all the pain he caused himself and others, would win the war for humanity.

We crested the hill then, and Shiganshina came into view. All at once the entirety of the Survey Corps ground to a halt, horses crashing into one another as startled riders yanked too hard on the reins. Armin pulled up casually beside me, seeming almost unsurprised but not quite.

“Oh.” Was all he said. “So that’s how it is.”

The Shiganshina Walls were in pieces. At first glance, it appeared that they had fallen victim to the same fate as Walls Rose and Sina, but the rest of Maria looked to be intact.

_So… someone was just targeting Shiganshina…?_

“What do you think it means?” Erwin asked Armin, who was staring at the wreckage thoughtfully.

“I think…” he replied slowly, “… that it means ‘Enter with Caution.’” And then, with little more ceremony, he urged his horse forward at a walk. “Wait for my signal here.”

I reached forward; caught the back of his saddle and hung on, bringing his horse to a halt. “What makes you think I’ll let you go through with this?” I asked, unable to keep my voice entirely steady. He didn’t turn to face me.

“Because you’re as smart as I, and you know this is the best course of action available to us.”

For a moment, logic warred with emotion in me. Then, trying to keep the tears from my eyes, I let go of him.

“If your signal is too late, I’m coming in after you.”

He turned, then; smiled, just slightly. “I’m glad, Annie.”

And then he rode off toward his old home, leaving me to wait for his signal and wonder, in the meantime, what would become of any of us; what would become of Armin Arlert, especially, within the next twenty four hours as well as years and years down the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are my reason for existing. ;w; I love every single one of you, and you have my eternal gratitude for reading this fanfic of mine! <3 
> 
> In related news, chapter 16 is one of my favorites out of the entire work! It's already been written and mostly edited, so I'll have that up........ within the week! To make up for the wretchedly slow updates that have been happening for a while. ;^; 
> 
> So I'll see you guys very soon~!


	16. The Mirror of my Inhumanity and What I Desire; I am Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who thought I was dead? *raises own hand* 
> 
> Well surprise, peeps! I'm not and I'm back. I've put way too much of my soul into this fic to abandon it now, and I owe you guys way too much to let you down by abandoning it. So please forgive the insane wait, and please enjoy the new chapter! 'Tis my favorite chapter thus far, by the way, so I dare say you're in for a treat.
> 
> (Also, I have fallen behind with the canon......... shamefully. But I had already reached the decision that I would stick to my original outline no matter what, so any canon-contradictions at this point can be considered intentional.)

I had been waiting for this moment for a long, long time.

Months had passed since the Battle of Trost, and I had spent nearly every moment in the district called Shiganshina. The people there, they _worshiped_ Armin Arlert. They did well for themselves, well enough to keep a place prepared for him and his Rogue Titan, should they ever return. They were friendly people, but slightly unhinged; most had seen the worst kind of hell, and many had eaten the flesh of family and friends to survive it. But those days were behind them- behind them thanks to the self-serving little bastard named Armin Arlert.

When I had introduced myself as a messenger sent by him, I received a hero's welcome- more food than I could possibly eat, the most comfortable accommodations in existence outside of Sina, new clothes made by the women, and so on and so forth. They didn't question how I had traversed the interior of the Wall; they knew the kind of company their legendary leader kept. They didn't question why he had sent me; they were far too eager to believe he cared enough to send a messenger of any kind to them. He didn't, of course; I, for one, knew that.

They wanted to hear about their savior, so I told them. I recounted the tale of how he had saved Trost- no, of how he had prevented Wall Rose from going the way of Maria, practically single-handedly. I told them, grand as anything, how he had beaten the Armored Titan into submission; how he had tricked the Colossal Titan and made him dance like a puppet held up by its heartstrings. They ate it up.

That was how I lived, for nearly a month, and the people of Shiganshina were beyond thrilled to have me. I let them worship _me_ , like they longed to worship _him_. I let the irony soothe my aching soul for a while; let the corporal luxuries distract me from the bitter bile that was alway bubbling in the back of my throat.

But that couldn't last. I had come to Shiganshina with a purpose, after all.

I asked the Shiganshinans to show me Armin's home and place of study; they showed me two holes in the ground. The first hole was obviously his house, where he had lived with Eren and Mikasa; I noted the piece of plaster near the entrance, proclaiming "Days Since the End of the World." His worshipers had kept the tally going in his absence.

His house would likely be of no use to me. So instead I tried the second hole, in the middle of a completely wrecked house- presumably Grisha Jaeger's house. I decapitated myself twice getting through the booby traps he had left in place, but luckily it would have taken far more to kill me. By the time I got my entrails loose from the last trap, I knew I had found what I was looking for. There were papers and notebooks stacked to the ceiling, along with a long table covered with various equipment and bottled chemicals. I also noticed the restrains installed on one wall, along with the impressive collection of knives.

Before I got through two notebooks' worth of Grisha Jaeger's scribbles, I had realized that our defeat had been inevitable. Armin Arlert had in those notes- and in his head -everything there was to know about Shifters, and quite a lot about Common Titans and the Ape. There was a lot of background information missing, but not even we of the Shifter Village- not even me; not even Grisha -knew all that much about where the Ape had come from, so I wasn't terribly surprised. Most of the information about skin hardening, too, was incorrect- Grisha seemed to think that it was impossible to partially harden one's skin, or for any purpose other than building a Wall for that matter, and it suddenly made more sense that Eren had lost to Annie.

There was plenty, of course, about the Coordinate and the ramifications of its existence. I shivered when I reached the page detailing _how_ Eren had been made the Coordinate, although of course I had already known it; I wondered idly how Armin had reacted when he learned that his best friend, from time time he was eating solids, had been fed the flesh of the previous Coordinate and other Shifters by his human father.

"If a Common Titan eats the flesh of a Shifter," I read aloud, remembering Marcel with a pang, "he or she will gain that Shifter's power.

"However, with most humans, consumption of flesh alone is not enough. The chemistry that manifests a titan is absent in a normal human body. A trigger is needed, in this case an injection (see notebook 17, page 32 for injection formula). In theory, the Ape's Touch would also do, however that is quite impractical for human-made Shifters."

The "Ape's Touch" was how Grisha described the Ape's act of turning people to titans- a rough, makeshift description, but short and adequate. He hadn't figured out, of course, how exactly the Ape turned people into titans, but somehow he had managed to artificially duplicate the process.

Notebooks 17 through 19 detailed experiments using the people of Shiganshina. I felt my stomach twist as I read about how he had turned several dozen people into titans just Outside the Walls; all of them he documented meticulously. The artificial creation of a Shifter was possible, he theorized, if the human to be transformed into a titan had, previously, been eating Shifter flesh; Eren's existence was proof that he had been correct.

The most interesting part, though, was notebook 36- a hodgepodge collection of facts and rumors about the Wall Titans. Grisha didn't know much about them, but apparently enough for Armin to go off of. Midway through notebook 36, the handwriting changed abruptly, and I was made privy to Armin's struggles to create a serum that would awaken the Wall Titans from their dormant state. The rest of the notebooks, dozens more, were all _his_.

I even found, leafing through them, the formula for Reiner's poison. He described it, with his inimitable wit, "To boil a Shifter in its own blood- to the point it's flesh falls off its bones like a chicken's in a pot of broth; to reduce it to the state which a dead Common assumes- a mere, fleeting vapor."

There was everything I had hoped to find, and far more.

Armed with the same knowledge that Armin Arlert himself possessed, I returned to the surface; I let the people of Shiganshina soothe my frazzled nerves with their adoration. But things had been set in motion, and now they would not be stopped.

There was a woman, that fateful morning, in labor. It was a tremendous affair, as all births were and had been since the Fall. The Shiganshinans wanted me to be present, but I declined and went, instead, to the Wall. Walking along the top, it wasn't hard to imagine the creatures suspended, in tenuous stasis, just beneath my feet.

The titans began to wake nearly as soon as I had started to drizzle the serum on their sleeping heads; I watched the hardened titan skin that formed the bricks sizzle and melt away, the reaction radiating out from where it had begun. It was several minutes, however, before anyone in Shiganshina noticed that their unshakable Walls were dissolving around them, leaving ravenous and half-mad titans in their place.

It was pandemonium.

People began to scream and wail; they had lived through hell once, and the thought of such a nightmare coming twice in their lifetime was unthinkable. I saw them flock to my lodgings, only to find me long gone; I was no savior as the great Armin Arlert had been. I watched as they were devoured, one by one, and felt nothing.

I didn't need to feel pity or remorse for the sake of Armin Arlert's people.

... ... ...

"They're coming, Lord Bertholdt. Bastian estimates half an hour until their arrival."

I nodded, waving one hand dismissively; the Shifter that had brought me the news, a man named Eian, bowed hurriedly and then leaped off the roof. I narrowed my eyes, leaning back slightly as I gazed out at the ruins of Shiganshina.

"We'll be meeting again soon, Armin Arlert."

I knew, from several recon patrols I had sent out, that the main Walls were in chaos; Armin had nowhere left to hide. Of course he was bringing the Survey Corps to Shiganshina; he needed any sort of cover he could find, and he knew that the people of Shiganshina would welcome him and his ragtag army with open arms- as they had welcomed me. Unfortunately for him, all but the original residents of Shiganshina were long dead.

"Seth, I can hear you breathing. Come out if you want to talk to me about something."

Seth was a young Shifter, the youngest of the twelve I had recruited from among the Wall Titans of Shiganshina. The others had either been Common Titans, useless to me, or too utterly mad to save. He seemed the most eager to question my authority, too, and I wondered frequently if I should simply dispose of him.

"Lord Bertholdt, we were not put into the Walls to kill humans."

I sighed; Seth, the embodiment of my thrice-damned conscience. "I'm aware of that, Seth. What's your point?"

The eleven year old Shifter fidgeted. "This... I don't think you're right to do this...!"

I closed my eyes briefly. "I already know that it isn't _right_ , Seth," I said, my voice sounding tired even to myself, "but it is _necessary_. You'd do well to follow the examples set by your elders. They follow me because they know that war isn't always about doing what's right; its about doing what's necessary."

Seth's face reddened slightly. "I do understand that! That's why I agreed to be sealed in Wall Maria indefinitely! But wars are fought to protect what's right- that's also why I agreed to it!"

"I have watched too many comrades die," I snapped, "to buy into such idealism! Wars are fought so that one side might live while the other dies! That is all! Wars are less about choosing to stand up for what's right, and more about picking the winning side!"

He was practically- no, he _was_ -a child, and he flinched at my words. I felt guilt lance through me, hot and unpleasant, but I turned away in time to convince myself that I had imagined the tears in his eyes.

_Reiner, we used to... cry... when we contemplated our Mission... Annie, you tried to hide it, but I know you, too..._

"Go... prepare yourself," I murmured, and heard Seth sniff loudly. "Choose a side before the battle begins. If you'd rather side with an evil you know nothing about, then run to Armin Arlert. I won't stop you."

He left without another word; I decided, bitterly, that it would almost be a relief if he chose to side with Armin. After a moment I stood, gave myself a shake, and took off through the streets of Shiganshina. Much of the district was in shambles, torn apart by rampaging Shifters and then, after they had calmed down a bit, the following wave of Common Titans. Those Shifters that had been too mad to rescue had been devoured along with the rest of the Shiganshinans, and then the Commons had departed. I was left with an army of twelve- four of whom were Colossal Class like me. There was one that had armor similar, though not identical, to Reiner's, and of course they were all capable of hardening their skin.

They should be more than capable of keeping the Survey Corps occupied while I dealt with Armin.

"They trust you, you know. And you're only using them."

I laughed softly. "I know, my dear."

"Aren't you alarmed that you don't even feel bad?"

"Feeling bad and having second thoughts are quite different things. Even though I'm determined to see this through, that doesn't mean I don't feel _any_ remorse."

"Be careful."

I felt myself smile. "Don't worry, Reiner. I will. This is all for you; all for you."

"I don't want this."

I closed my eyes tightly, shutting him out. He always said that; I didn't want to hear it; I knew it couldn't be true.

"Reiner..."

He never spoke to me after I refused to listen, not until the next time.

I heard a soft rumbling from the edge of Shiganshina; Bastian was standing. I rose as well, taking a visual survey of my district. There were Tiana and Effress, a husband and wife, two roofs to my left; Rachel was in the square in front of me; I could just make out Harran some distance to the right.

"Lord Bertholdt."

I turned at the soft, small voice. "Yes?"

"I'll... fight beside you, Lord Bertholdt." It was, of course, Seth- the young armored titan. The boy looked nothing like Reiner, but the association created by his titan's armor-plated skin was enough to send a lance through my heart every time I saw him. "I'm sorry about earlier."

I felt myself soften; tried to stop it, but felt it happen anyway. "Thank you, Seth. I have a task for you."

"Anything." His eyes were beginning to shine with a childish enthusiasm, and I internally flinched.

"Carry a message for me to all the others- no one is to Shift, not yet. Wait until I speak to the enemy, then I'll give the signal. After you've told everyone that, go to Bastian; tell him to undo his Shift and wait for my signal, like the others."

Seth nodded readily, skittering off down the roof and vanishing into the maze of streets below. I could see, now, the cloud of dust kicked up by the Survey Corps' hooves.

"Armin Arlert..." All I could seem to think about was _him_ ; all I could see was his face, and all I could say was his name. "Armin... you're finally coming... and this time, it'll be different... it'll be different this time."

I saw the steam of Bastian's Titan rise as it began to dissolve, and then turned as I felt a set of eyes on me.

"Avris? You have a concern?"

"Yeah." The young man ran one hand through his spiked red hair. "This Armin kid- why are you so fixated on him?"

"He represents all that Wall Civilization stands for- their hope." It wasn't a lie; it wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie.

"Wouldn't that be the Coordinate?" Avris pressed. "Why not fixate on Eren Jaeger?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," I said. "You haven't fought them; I have."

"And lost," Avris retorted, and I took a step toward him. He seemed to think better of outright insubordination, holding up his hands.

"Fine, I don't know what I'm talking about," he admitted. "So explain it to me- make me understand. I was the leader of the Wall Maria Shifters, and I relinquished command to you upon awakening; this is the least you owe me."

I felt my lip begin I draw back, but resisted the animalistic reaction. "We haven't much time now. Why didn't you come to me before now, when Armin is mere miles away?"

Avris shrugged. "I had no idea that you would ask me and my comrades to go into battle for you so soon. I thought I had time to judge you with my own eyes before it came to this. You could lie to me right now; actions observed for oneself cannot be lies."

He reminded me of Armin. And that irritated me.

But I also respected it.

"You want the truth?"

Avris didn't nod; didn't move.

"Very well." I looked down. "To answer your question, Armin Arlert may as well be the Coordinate; he controls the Coordinate. Eren himself is single-minded and quite mad- any attempt to reason with him would not work. If overpowering him was the problem, it would be simple."

"We're after the Coordinate's power, yes?" Avris asked, and I nodded. "Then why not, as you put it, 'simply' overpower him and feed him to one of our own? Without the Coordinate under his control, this Armin character would be rather unimportant, yes? And, by extension, all the rebels wou-"

"Lord Bertholdt!"

Avris let himself be cut short as we both turned; Seth had returned, breathing hard and trembling slightly. I tilted my head.

"What is it?"

"Th-There's a single rider- a girl coming into the district! She has an unconscious boy with her!"

I felt my heart jump into my throat, my conversation with Avris all but forgotten. "Tell everyone to hide. She mustn't know that we're here."

Seth nodded and darted again; I heard Avris begin to speak again, but cut him off with a wave.

"I-I'll deal with your questions later- if this prelude to the battle doesn't answer them on its own."

He didn't look pleased, but I didn't especially care. I scrambled across the rooftops, aware of him following at a distance, until _she_ came into view. I felt a thrill set my hair on end.

_It is..._

"Bertholdt!" The girl had arrived in the central square of the district. "Bertholdt Fubar! I know you're here! I need to speak to you!"

Avris came up beside me. "A friend of yours?"

And I found myself answering, "Perhaps."

"Bertholdt Fubar!" she repeated, even louder than before. "I am willing to negotiate! I have my bargaining chip right here; what will yours be?"

In that instant, I stood; Avris looked genuinely surprised that I had revealed myself. But it was not the time for hiding.

It was the time for my revenge.

"Mikasa Ackerman. My bargaining chip will, of course, be the safety of you and your family."

She met my gaze with a steely glare. "Proof, Bertholdt. What proof can you offer me?"

I didn't have any proof. "What are you even risking, Mikasa, really? Even if I lose, Armin will welcome you back with open arms. And if I win... you and Eren will never find yourselves his pawns again."

Her gaze flashed. "I will not fight him for you, Bertholdt."

"I wouldn't dream of asking you to," I replied. She had no idea of my grudge; of the connection of blood and hatred between her dear Armin and I. "Although what _are_ you offering me, then, just to be clear?"

"I'm offering to take the Coordinate out of the fight," Mikasa growled, and I saw her grip on Eren tighten. "I believe that you're even more reluctant to see him join this fight than I am."

I spared Avris a glance; he was gaping at the two in the clearing, Mikasa Ackerman and the unconscious Coordinate. "You're right. But that means that Armin would have no Shifter at his side; you're assuring his defeat."

"I know," Mikasa said calmly. "But in return you're promising to keep my family safe. Don't forget that that includes him."

I would secure the Coordinate; I would incapacitate Mikasa Ackerman. I would string them both up for Armin to see. I would ask him if he wanted to save them. And then _he_ would jump through _my_ hoops in a futile attempt to appease me; in a desperate attempt to save those he loved.

I would kill Mikasa. And then I would eat Eren. Or perhaps I would force his flesh and blood down Armin's own throat, past his sobs and wails of protest, and then eat the blonde bastard himself.

"Of course. I don't want anyone to die unnecessarily, and that includes him."

Her expression eased slightly. "I... thought so. I see that I've judged you correctly."

The old Bertholdt would have been telling the truth. I was not.

"I miss the old Bertholdt. So do you, Bertl, and you know it."

I flinched, my eyes narrowing. Mikasa didn't notice, although Avris did.

"Mikasa, bring Eren up to me."

"The old Bertl wouldn't do this. Armin Arlert would do this. Don't sink to his level, Bertl."

Mikasa dismounted, and I risked hissing, "Shut up!" as she looked away for a moment. Avris looked quizzically up at me.

"I didn't say anything."

"I haven't said anything that you don't already know."

I wanted to shout at him; I wanted to cry. It was the first time he had spoken to me in the presence of others, although Avris obviously couldn't hear him. Mikasa was readying her 3D Gear.

"Don't do this, Bertl."

"What's the plan?" Avris hissed. "Tell me, and quickly! Surely you don't intend to make any deals?"

"Don't do this. You hate Armin for what he did to you through me- don't use the same trick on him, now."

"You'll see..." I whispered, answering them both. "You'll see."

Mikasa hopped up beside us, then, recoiling momentarily at the sight of Avris, hidden from her view up to then. But he remained seated, and after a moment her gaze returned to me.

"I didn't expect to find you here," she admitted. "I must say I'm shocked at what you've done to Shiganshina."

"It was for the sake of my own family," I said, motioning briefly to Avris. "Surely you can understand that."

After a pause, Mikasa nodded. "Yes, I can. And regardless, with Shiganshina gone... seeking an alliance with you is my best chance at keeping Eren safe. I don't... trust Armin with him, not after Trost. I've realized that I can't simply hide from this war. And I can't protect him alone, as much as it pains me to admit."

I nodded sympathetically. "I know. I couldn't protect Reiner alone, either. Trying cost me his life. Don't worry, Mikasa- I won't let Armin tear his own family apart the way he's destroyed mine."

Her expression eased furhter. "I trust you little more than I trust him," she added, "but that's the way things are in this world- eventually, you must take a gamble. And you are mine, Bertholdt Fubar. Do not let me down."

I felt a shiver run up my spine- half triumph and half apprehension. I motioned to Eren. "How are you keeping him unconscious like that?"

"Armin gave me a vile of Shifter tranquilizer as an emergency option, should Eren ever get out of control." I had seen the formula in his notes, along with the antidote. "It was extremely easy to inject him with it."

"Ah. I see." She could have more of it; synthesizing some of the antidote for myself would be proactive, if I had the time. "How long will it be effective?"

"For as long as it needs to be." She _did_ have more, then. "He would not approve of what I'm doing."

"I understand." I did. Eren was unerringly loyal to Armin, and in some way I admired that about him. But it was foolish to serve such a vile creature as Armin Arlert without keeping rebellion in the back of one's mind. I glanced at Avris; he had rebellion in the back of his mind, always. I would have to be careful with him.

Mikasa nodded, and then looked over at Avris. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Avris, a Titan Shifter. You didn't think I planned to fight Armin alone, did you?"

The girl shook her head. "Not for a moment. So you have... some Shifters to fight for you?"

"Yes." I didn't elaborate, and she was intelligent enough to not ask.

"Very well. Where would you like us to stay?"

"Why not in your very own home? You know how to disarm the traps Armin left in place, I assume?"

Mikasa nodded. "Yes, of course. That would be... fitting."

"I'll post a guard outside- both to keep an eye on you and to keep you safe."

"Very well."

I motioned to Avris. "Accompany Miss Ackerman to Armin Arlert's old home; I have some business to attend to before he arrives." I was reluctant to trust Avris with the Coordinate, but I had no real choice; I needed to get to Armin's laboratory and synthesize some of that antidote before the battle began.

Avris looked duly surprised. "Very well, Lord Bertholdt," he said, after a moment. He placed one hand on Mikasa's shoulder, to guide her, but she shrugged it off.

"I know my own way home, Bertholdt," she said, her voice shaking just slightly. "I don't need an escort."

Irritating though it was, I was relieved; I trusted her more than I trusted Avris. "Very well; go. And don't come out until I come for you. Promise me that."

She made a face like she had eaten something bitter. "Very well. You have my word."

Slinging Eren onto her back, she took off with a whir of Maneuver Gear cables. Holding up a hand to forestall Avris' questions, I motioned to the chimney of the roof we occupied.

"Come out, Seth. I have a task for you."

The child Shifter slunk from his hiding place, his expression sheepish. "Y-yes, Lord Bertholdt...?"

"Spread this news- the two humans taking up residence in Armin's old home are not to be engaged. No one is to exchange so much as a word with them without my express permission. However... tell Harran to keep an eye on them; he's the best at stealth. If the girl so much as pokes her nose above the ground, I want to know about it, tell him."

Seth nodded readily, and scampered off at my wave. Then I turned, with a sigh, to Avris.

"That's the Coordinate?!" he burst out, hands spread wide. "She just hand-delivered the Coordinate to us?! How foolish is this Mikasa Ackerman?"

"Not foolish at all," I murmured. "Do not underestimate her. However, she doesn't seem to have all the information Armin does; all the information I have. In retrospect, I'm not surprised."

"She knows that Eren's the Coordinate, though?"

"Mm. But probably not that Shifting- and other abilities -are transferred through cannibalism." _And not about the grudge I hold against Armin..._

"Then we've got them!" Avris exclaimed excitedly. "We don't even have to fight this Armin character; we can just apprehend the Coordinate and-"

"No!" I snapped, cutting him off. "Armin must be eliminated. And I won't have Eren so much as touched, not yet. I still need him."

Avris blinked at me, seeming surprised, and I cursed myself for letting the impulsively honest words out of my mouth. "What? But if we have the Coordinate, why do we need to fight Armin? We have nothing to gain from fighting humans; its the Ape we have to worry about now!"

"Listen to him, Bertl. Don't get unnecessary blood on your hands."

I closed my eyes briefly, trying to block out Reiner and focus only on Avris. "Armin Arlert will stop at nothing to ensure the extermination of all Shifters and the overthrow of the Monarchy. Don't think he'll be helpless, even without the Coordinate."

"Perhaps not helpless," Avris said appealingly, "but certainly not a _serious_ threat? He couldn't beat us as we are now if he didn't have the Coordinate, and once _we_ have the Coordinate on _our_ side, he stands even less of a chance!"

"He's right, Bertl."

He was right. But I needed more than victory; I needed revenge.

"No one is to touch Jaeger," I said finally, virtually daring him to object. "That is final. The battle will go on as planned."

Avris' brow knit, and I wondered what would happen if I was forced to fight him right there. I could only Shift once in a 22-hour span, and I couldn't afford to waste it on the likes of a rebellious Wall Titan. Plus my cover would be blown if I transformed. 

But Avris didn't rise to my challenge, instead shaking his head slightly and holding up his hands. "Fine, Bertholdt, fine. I relinquished command to you when you woke us, and it would be terribly insubordinate of me to question you now. But just know that I'll be watching you."

I felt relief flood me. "Watch, Avris; watch me lead our kind to victory.

"Watch me bring Armin Arlert to his knees."

... ... ...

He entered the district alone; it was so like him that it made me smile.

He tethered his horse to the splintered window frame of a wrecked house, patting its neck before walking farther into the district on foot. I could see the main body of the Survey Corps standing a hundred yards or so away, and the signal gun in Armin's right hand.

 _He's using himself as bait..._ I realized slowly. _He doesn't know who's here or what sort of trap they've laid... so he's using himself to tip the enemy's hand. He's betting that he's too valuable to kill straight out, and he's right._

_A gambler to the end._

I wanted desperately to be inside Armin Arlert's head- to hear his thoughts and theories in that very moment as he strolled through his devastated district, vulnerable in every sense of the word. I wanted to know if he had even an inkling of what awaited him.

"And what does await him, Bertl?"

"Bertholdt! Bertholdt Fubar!"

I jumped at my name; Armin's eyes were sweeping the roofs around him, sharp and analytical. I stiffened.

"Is it you, Colossal Titan?"

Feeling my whole body shake with suppressed laughter, I stood slowly; felt his searching eyes stop and focus on me. I met his gaze; saw no trace of doubt or triumph in their blue depths.

"Uncannily perceptive as always, Armin."

"You and I are too alike, Bertholdt. This," he motioned to the district, "reeks of your broken heart."

I flinched, my eyes widening and lip drawing back slightly. "So who's fault is this, then?" I asked, sweeping my hand to indicate the destruction all around us. "If this was caused by my broken heart, who's fault is this, really?"

"Mine," Armin replied, unflinchingly. He broke eye contact; looked down at his feet. "All of this is my fault, Bertholdt, and I already know that. You won't cause me pain by forcing me to admit it."

I felt my expression harden. "No bother. I've planned plenty of ways to cause you pain."

He smiled at last- that sad, hollow expression that was so quintessential Armin. "I would expect no less."

I pointed. "First, the matter of the Survey Corps. This should be between just you and I, don't you think?"

"That would be terribly unfair. Little me against the Colossal Titan?" Armin asked, with a smirk. But then his expression softened, and he spread his arms. "But yes, I agree."

"You don't mind if I exterminate them, then?" I asked.

"I mind if you exterminate them, Bertl; _you_ mind, and you know it."

"You're welcome to try, Bertholdt, if you think you can." I forced myself to focus on Armin's words, not Reiner's; I forced myself to respond to them, not to Reiner's.

"I appreciate the permission."

With a wave of my hand, I sent the first six of my Shifters forward; they sprang from behind me, where they had been waiting patiently for my signal. They rushed past Armin, although Avris paused for a moment to examine the small blonde. He looked up at me, held my gaze briefly, and then hared after the others.

"Now."

"Now," Armin echoed, with a smile. He raised the signal gun once; twice. I watched as the black- incoming Aberrants -and a blue smoke signal spiraled up into the sky. Then he spread his arms; let the gun drop from his hand. "Show me these ways you plan to cause me pain. Have at me, Bertholdt, until you are satisfied."

I felt anger bubble up inside me, threatening to make me explode with it if I didn't vent it. "You scum!" I screamed. "You stand there so calmly- 'Have at me, have at me,' you say! I could 'have at you' until you're no more than _dust_ and I still wouldn't be satisfied! I could 'have at you' for a hundred years and it wouldn't bring Reiner back!!"

"If you know that, Bertl, you need to ask yourself why you're doing this."

"If you know that, why are you doing this?" Armin's voice was stern but not cold; not unforgiving. I thought, for a moment, that he must be able to hear Reiner, and that idea filled me with a neigh unimaginable rage. But I quickly realized that that was impossible; no, they were simply telling me the same thing. I felt tears sting my eyes as I tried desperately to cling to my conviction.

"You are the one who asks, so tormentedly, 'Who wants to do this?'" Armin said calmly. 

Flashes of lightning lit the scenery behind him as my Shifters charged into battle against the Survey Corps. I couldn't see the fight from where I stood, now on the ground, but I was certain that those foolish humans who followed Armin Arlert were not long for this world.

"You've led them to their deaths," I told the blonde, and he shrugged.

"If I have, truly, then they know what they're dying for. It will not effect my larger plans."

I grit my teeth, feeling the tears in my eyes start to brim over. "How can you value human life so... so little?" I asked softly, strained.

"How can _you_ value it so little, he who saw to the destruction of Shiganshina?" His voice was steady, and his expression was indecipherable. "I saved these people once, if I remember correctly."

"Only because it suited you!" I retorted. "They meant nothing to you!"

"Granted," he said with a shrug, "but did their deaths even suit you? Were they really a means to an end for you, or just an incidental result of your revenge-driven actions?"

The tears were spilling over. "Who wants to do these things?!" I shrieked. "I don't- I never have! And my motives are not yours to guess at!"

"I don't have to guess," the blonde said, his voice low. "I know your motive, backwards and forwards. It's the oldest motive in the book, Bertholdt- revenge. That's all you want, and you're willing to sacrifice anything to obtain it. If that means stomping my old district into the ground, so be it; if that means a few clueless Wall Shifters have to die, so be it; if that means that you have to desecrate the memory of the very one you seek vengeance for, then so be-"

"How dare you?!" He had me; I knew it as well as he did. He was causing me more pain, driving the stake deeper and deeper into my heart with every word he spoke, and I was powerless to strike back. "Don't speak about Reiner! Don't pretend like you know what he wants!!"

"He seems to have a better handle on it than you do, Bertl."

"Shut up!!" I screamed, although Armin hadn't said a word. Clapping my hands over my ears, I glared at the blonde boy. It was his fault that Reiner was dead- it was his fault that Reiner was turning against me, even within my own head.

"... Who are you talking to, Bertholdt...?" Armin asked softly, taking one casual step forward. His posture was submissive, as if he were approaching a dangerous animal, and I wondered for a moment how, exactly, he saw me.

"No one," I muttered, and then took my own step forward; he immediately backed off. "But Armin..." I laughed softly, shaking my head. "No. You're through. You won't be playing puppet master any longer. Now it's my turn to see _you_ dance."

Suddenly, Armin's face paled. "Where are Mikasa and Eren?" He blurted out the question as it came to him, and I saw honest worry through the cracks in his mask- a far more imperfect mask than he had possessed at Trost. I felt myself begin to smile, involuntarily.

"I'll tell you... in good time. But their lives are mine to do with what I please, Armin. If you want even a chance at getting them back, you'll do exactly as I say."

The blonde's eyes narrowed. "I'll do no such thing, Bertholdt Fubar. It takes more than a vague threat, I'm afraid, to get me to submit."

I straightened my spine; rolled my shoulders back. "Come here." Despite his brave words, he obeyed. "Take off your Gear." He complied. "Turn around." He did it.

Reaching forward, I grabbed his bandaged hands and bound them up behind his back; I pulled the rope tighter, making him huff with discomfort. _His hands... what happened...?_ There was black blood seeping through the bandages. But I decided I didn't care, and so shoved his back experimentally, making him stumble forward.

"Come on. We're going to meet up with the Survey Corps."

"You'll take me to see Eren and Mikasa, first!" the blonde snapped, although his voice broke on the last word. "I'll need proof that you really have them, and that they're still alive, before I even _hear_ your conditions!"

"Um... no." I tried to bite back my chuckling, but it forced its way up my throat. "How about no? Are you willing to take the chance that I may be telling the truth?"

"I didn't think you would go this far, Bertholdt." His voice was dull. "I misjudged you. I didn't think you would change so much."

"You're fond of saying that we're alike, aren't you?" I asked softly. "This is exactly what you did to me. Take a good look in the mirror, Armin Arlert. I'm simply returning your favor."

He twisted around so that he could look at me; his eyes were wide, but glowing with something strange- something I couldn't place.

"If you've become so like me, I'm sorry."

In the next instant, before I could even begin to make sense of his words, he jerked backwards; struck me with all the force he had. The surprise was enough to make me stumble, but he was far smaller and far weaker than I. More agile though, it seemed, as I grabbed for him and he dodged to the side.

"You--!!"

He went for my legs; a logical move. I lashed out with one foot, but he hit the ground and dodged. His hands were bound, but he managed to keep his balance as he got back to his feet and ducked away from me again.

"Get back here!" I hissed. "What the hell are you even doing?!"

"Buying time," he replied simply, jerking to the side as I grabbed for him. "You're unstable. If I wear you down, just a bit more, I might be able to make you see reason."

I felt anger swell in my chest. "The nerve of you--!" I lunged again, and he dodged; he couldn't retaliate, but I couldn't quite manage to grab him.

"How like me have you really become?" he asked. "I don't feel fatigue any longer. Do you?"

"You're still mortal," I spat. "More so than me!" I backed up, examining him; accounting for his dodge. But when I tried again, he still twisted away from me.

"Mortal; human," he said, his feet scuffing up dust as he danced. "Do you give up on your humanity, Colossal Titan? I did a long time ago. I don't think you can- so you'll never beat me."

"I've killed hundreds of thousands of people," I hissed. "Have you forgotten?! I did what I had to- if that includes giving up my humanity--!"

"You still cry!" He cut me off. "You still bleed! You still hope for a better future!" He ducked; dodged; kept speaking. "You hope that one day, you'll get what you gave up back! You hope that one day, someone somewhere will call you a good person- good for them; good for the world!"

"He's telling the truth, Bertl."

"Shut up!!" I stumbled; hit the ground on my hands and knees as I missed him for the hundredth time. I remained there, panting; shaking. And Armin stood over me.

"You're a better person than I." He knelt; he brought himself down to my level. "You're too good to let yourself be destroyed by vengeance. Colossal Titan, you... and Annie... and Reiner- you sacrificed too much to throw away that goodness for the sake of revenge on a worthless, subhuman villain like me."

I reached up and grabbed his neck; he let me. "All that doesn't change the fact that I want your suffering. I _need_ your suffering."

He didn't flinch. "If that's the conclusion you've come to, than do whatever you feel you need to."

I got up onto my knees, even then towering over him; placed my other hand on his neck as well as squeezed. "You need to feel what I felt," I whispered. "You need to feel the pain that led me to this point. You need to lose them- the people you care about most! You need to lose the people you've sacrificed so much for!"

"Then get on with it." His eyes were soft- limpid. But still unfeeling. "Put me through that and watch me crumble."

My hands tightened again; I felt his pulse beneath my fingers, maddeningly slow and steady. I shifted my grip, placing my thumbs over his airway and pressing down gently; felt his heart rate hold steady even when his gaze blurred as the seconds ticked by.

"Maybe I won't even give you the chance to save them. Maybe I'll just let you die knowing that you've failed."

"Do it." His voice was growing weak with his lack of breath, but he still wasn't struggling; didn't seem alarmed. "If it will satisfy you, do it."

His heart should have been racing, but it was _mine_ that was pounding frantically in my chest. I hoped that he couldn't feel my pulse through my fingers; if he could, he would most likely be laughing at me behind those flickering eyes of his.

"Do it," he repeated, his voice so faint that I could barely hear it. "If you kill me, though... humanity will be left in your hands. Care for it as you always have- mindfully and well."

 _Mindfully... and well...?_ I stopped the increase of pressure; held it steady, but stopped the increase.

"Armin!!"

My hands released the boy's neck of their own accord as I spun, my eyes snapping to the figure standing on a nearby roof. And suddenly her eyes were wild, having met mine; having realized who I was.

"Bertl...!"

"A-Annie...?" Her name was only a whisper on my lips. "You're... alive...?"

It seemed so, from the grace with which she leapt down and hurried over; she kept glancing at me, but ran instead to Armin, crouching down in front of him.

"Armin, what the hell is this plan of yours? You promised you wouldn't get yourself killed!" Even as she spoke she kept casting furtive looks back at me, her eyes a muddled mess of emotions- relief; distrust; uncertainty.

"I told you to stay with the Survey Corps," Armin wheezed, his breath still not back. "Why--?"

"We sighted the Ape," Annie cut him off. "It's coming toward Shiganshina."

Armin looked at me; I had no reaction to offer him. It was true that the Ape's appearance had the potential to change things, but did he really expect my convictions to shift so suddenly? I looked again at Annie; saw the way she was gazing at Armin, her eyes fixed on the quickly-forming bruises around his neck. Her appearance and apparent loyalties were more likely than the Ape to change my mind in regards to Armin Arlert. My comrade glanced again at me as she had been, this time catching me staring at her.

"I'm glad that you're alive." Her eyes shimmered with honesty, and I felt my heart skip a beat. "I was afraid to ask about you when I woke up."

"I-I--" I began uncertainly, and then looked down. "I thought you were dead."

"Is Reiner here with you?"

She didn't know about Reiner's death, then. I looked at Armin- for the first time, his eyes were shining with concern and shame, as plain as anything. _Then she doesn't know about your sin, either. She doesn't know how you... killed him._

"No." Armin's eyes were practically bleeding anxiety. I knew then, suddenly, that he felt regret- much in the same way I felt about breaking down Wall Maria, he hated what he had done... even if he wouldn't do it differently, given the chance. We really were the same, Armin and I, and so I shook my head. "No. He died at Trost."

Annie narrowed her eyes, glancing between me and the visibly relieved Armin. "... I'm sorry," she said at last. "I know how much he meant to you."

I breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't push, and bowed my head. "I-It's been... hard. B-But I'm so glad that _you’re_ alive, Annie. ...I'm so glad."

"The same goes for me, Bertl. I'm glad you've made it this far." Then she turned to Armin. "Reunions aside, what do you want us to do? About the Ape?" Then she looked at me. "And Bertholdt, your Shifters want your orders, too. The one called Avris called a truce when the Ape appeared."

 _Avris…_ I'd be damned if I would admit it, but I was grateful for his insubordination. "T-Tell Avris... I'll have his head for disobeying. And tell him to maintain the truce and get back here with the Survey Corps."

Armin nodded. "Yes. The Survey Corps and Shifters are to cease all combat until they're safer- deeper inside Shiganshina."

"You two aren't coming back with me?" Annie asked, and I looked at Armin. I could see that our thoughts were parallel- it unnerved me, but at the same time I was grateful for it. I inclined my head to indicate that he should speak for us both.

"No. We'll meet up with you soon enough, but we have to fetch the Coordinate first."

Annie nodded after a moment, understanding. "Stay safe- both of you."

"And you."

"Y-You too, Annie."

Then she was gone. I turned back to Armin, although to say what I had no idea, only to find his back- and bound hands -turned to me.

"Would you kindly?"

I grimaced, but untied him nevertheless. It appeared that our conflict was to be put on hold; it would be foolish to do otherwise. He stood, rubbed his wrists briefly, reattached his Gear with a business-like air and began to trot deeper into Shiganshina. As I scrambled to my feet, he picked up speed, until we were racing along. I took a split second to admire him, able to match my near-top speed despite the difference in our stride length.

"Eren," he said shortly, and I nodded. "They're at our old place, he and Mikasa?"

"Of course."

"But he's tranquilized?"

"I have the antidote."

"Perfect."

He ducked under a piece of debris as I leaped over it; he never looked at me, seeming to trust completely that I wasn't about to stab him in the side or knock his legs out from under him. It amazed me how quickly he could change his tune, even when I had switched so suddenly myself. I was still burning with the desire to kill him, although it had been pushed to the back of my mind; he seemed to have completely lost interest in our battle, which must have seemed like a mere squabble to him.

"Y-You don't hold me in that high a regard, do you?" I asked, a trace of irritation in my voice.

Armin looked over at me for the first time, his eyes glittering with curiosity and surprise. The second he looked away from his path, though, he promptly stumbled over a splintered wooden beam; he staggered for a moment, tried to recover, and then tumbled to the ground to land flat on his face. I skidded to a halt, laughter that was half concern and half delight bubbling up in my throat.

"A-Are you okay?" I managed to stammer, as he wiped a trickle of blood crossly from his nose.

"I'm fine," he grunted, getting to his feet with an effort and brushing himself off. His Gear had detached during his fall, so he took a minute to pick it up and reattach it. "It was just taking all my concentration to keep up with you, so when you asked me something that required thought, I couldn't manage it."

I blinked; it had looked like he was keeping up effortlessly. Even when I looked closer, he didn't seem to be breathing hard. He took a couple of deep, somewhat forced breaths, and then began to trot again. He did set the pace slightly slower than I had.

"Why do you ask?"

I looked over in surprise; he was watching me, and smirked.

"I slowed the pace so that I could give your question a bit of my attention. Why do you think I hold you in little regard?"

I blinked, surprised that he wanted to engage me in the conversation that I had impulsively started. "Because you let your guard down very quickly once I wasn't the main concern. You don't see me as any sort of a threat right now."

Armin's expression was open and honest as he replied, "On the contrary, Bertholdt; I don't consider you a threat right now because I hold you in the highest of regards. You're too intelligent and capable to turn on me now, when we both have other priorities. We can continue our personal battle once the Ape is no more, if you wish it."

A dazed sort of admiration for Armin Arlert coiled inside me, and then his Shiganshinan home was within sight. I slowed a bit more.

"You were working on an antidote to the Ape's Touch, right?"

"And I've got it," Armin replied, and then grimaced. "But I haven't tested it on anyone but myself."

"Yourself?" I asked in surprise, and he nodded.

"Unfortunately, I have to make my own safety my highest priority." He looked genuinely put out. "I injected myself with two viable prototypes of the serum in case I ever came into direct contact with the Ape myself, and they haven't killed me yet. It wouldn't do to have me turned into a titan, not yet."

 _Not yet…_ I almost laughed. "Your safety is the 'highest priority,' but you're injecting yourself with untested substances?"

"Risks are necessary," he replied, with a shrug. "I'm used to taking controlled gambles, with my life and other things far more important than that."

We pulled up alongside the entrance to Armin's underground home, and he spared a glance at his wall of tallies. He looked over at me, and I looked down in something like embarrassment.

"The Shiganshinans were keeping up with it for me."

I nodded.

"And after they were all dead, you...?"

"I-I was... bored," I murmured. "Feeling... sentimental."

He watched me for a moment longer with piercing blue eyes, then nodded curtly and led the way into the darkness. He undid the booby traps by memory, only bothering to light a torch on the last leg. His back was exposed to me constantly, but he didn't flinch once.

"Mikasa?" he called softly, once he'd gotten the torch lit. "Mikasa, are you there?"

"She's here," I murmured, and then added under my breath, "I-I h-hope..."

And then I felt it- the needle embedded in my side. I barely had time to turn as I stumbled, half-colliding with Armin as my legs weakened. I heard his startled exclamation, and saw, through bleary eyes, the girl stepping out from the shadows. My legs buckled; I tried to fight it, and clawed momentarily for Armin's shoulder but missed. The ground rushed up to meet me, and I felt my eyes close as I landed.

The logical panic, however, was chased away by the sensation of strong arms closing around me, and the familiar voice murmuring that I should sleep, rest, if only for just a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try my darnedest to get the next chapter out in a timely fashion, I promise. In the meanwhile, please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed! Thanks for your continued readership, and I'll see you next time~


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